The Second Time.
This was not happening. Not in a million years, not in a billion years, hell, not even in another dimension. Her boyfriend would not be joining glee club. It was like he was volunteering to be hanged, or signing his own death certificate. What was he even thinking? Oh, that's right! He wasn't.
He never was.
Quinn saw him stuffing things into his book bag down the hall and rushed over to him. How dare he think that he could just- oh great. Oh, that's just wonderful. Quinn had forgotten RuPaul shared a locker next to his.
Rachel Berry was getting more and more annoying with every minute that passed. It was like she was always just there, every time Quinn turned around. And so was that horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach.
She hated it.
"Finn!"
Finn turned to face her with a goofy grin. "Hey."
"Don't 'hey' me. I heard, okay?"
His smile quickly disappeared. "Quinn, I-"
"We are in line to becoming the most popular kids in this school for the next couple years." Quinn was in full-on assault mode. Finn tried to get a word in edgewise with little 'no's' and 'wait a second's' but failed. "Prom king and queen." She continued. "Homecoming court royalty. I am not giving up those shiny crowns just so you can express yourself!"
"You're makin' too big a deal outta this!" He finally spoke up.
Compromise, Quinn thought. That's all. She needed to compromise. Regain her cool and compromise.
"Okay," She began, softening her tone. "Let's compromise." She smiled up at him.
He stopped pulling books out of his locker to face her. She had his attention.
But then he snuck a glance at Rachel.
That was it.
"If you quit the glee club," She lowered her voice. "I'll let you touch my breasts."
That was easy enough, Quinn thought. He would never turn down that opportunity. He'd been trying to do it ever since they got together.
He looked contemplative. "… under the shirt?"
"Over the bra." Quinn corrected.
He took a moment.
She had won, she was sure.
"Naw,- nah, I- I can't. I wanna do glee."
Quinn shook her head, incredulous. He couldn't be serious.
"I'm really happy when I'm performing-"
"People think you're gay, now, Finn." Quinn said, doing her best not to yell at him for being so stupid. She wasn't going to win like that. He took a quick glance around to see if anyone had heard her say that. "And you know what that makes me?" She continued. "Your. Big. GAY. BEARD."
"Look, I-I-I gotta go to class, okay?" He slung his book bag over his shoulder. "Just relax." He shut his locker. "Everything's gonna work out."
She watched him pass by Rachel who was already staring at him- and she had just had enough.
"Eavesdrop much?" She yelled to her.
Startled, Rachel faced her, but quickly turned away. Quinn stepped to her, while Rachel closed her locker.
"Time for some girl talk, man-hands. You can dance with him, you can sing with him, but you will never have him."
Rachel gave a sympathetic smile. God, Quinn hated her so much. So. Much.
"I understand why you'd be threatened;" Rachel began. "Finn and I have made a connection, but I'm an honorable person," Quinn took a moment to look away because for some horrible reason, the more she looked at her, the more that feeling in her stomach grew. "And I don't need to steal your man. I have plenty of suitors of my own." She backed away, with a shrug. "Everyday glee status is going up and yours is going down." She was smiling now. "Deal with it."
Rachel turned to be greeted with a full slushie-facial. Twice.
Quinn couldn't help but laugh.
That's what she gets.
The Third Time.
She tried to busy herself as much as possible. She spent extra time working on cheer routines, and asked Coach Sylvester if she needed any help with anything. She had to keep her mind of it for the most part. She wasn't pretending like it wasn't going to happen, she was just stalling the time before she'd have to fully acknowledge it.
She didn't know how she felt. Part of her was angry, yes. She was so unbelievably frustrated with herself that she could ever do something like this. And she was more than embarrassed. But the anger and the humiliation stemmed from how terrified she was. She was just scared. Really, really scared.
So, naturally, she distanced herself from others. She stopped going to glee to get time away from Finn and Puck… and Rachel.
She had to admit it at this point. She was avoiding Rachel. She was avoiding Rachel because she couldn't stand being around her. She couldn't stand her.
And she didn't know why.
It wasn't enough anymore; hating Rachel wasn't enough. The insults, the slushies, it wasn't enough. It wasn't making her feel better anymore. It wasn't helping.
Quinn didn't know what to do.
But she didn't want to think about that. She didn't want to think about anything. She wished she could just shut her brain off.
The bell rang, as she reached her locker. Most of the time she tried to think about trivial things; counting the steps she'd taken, trying to match them up every day, what they were giving on television tonight, what she'd be doing for the weekend, what books she should take out next from the library; little things. Little things to keep her mind busy, to keep her thoughts from wandering.
She opened her locker and grabbed her binder. She had Government next, a class she wasn't particularly fond of. She would force herself to pay attention, if only to get away from her brain for a while.
"I haven't seen you at glee rehearsals." Came a soft voice.
Quinn's head snapped around. She sighed, annoyed. "I'm not superwoman. I know glee is your whole life, but I have the cheerios," Rachel looked hurt, so Quinn focused her attention back on her locker, picking out her notebook while she continued, "I'm on honor roll, I have friends."
And that was that. Quinn tried to walk in the opposite direction of Rachel, but the shorter girl was never one to leave well enough alone.
"You don't have to be embarrassed."
Keep walking, Fabray, Quinn told herself. Don't listen to her. You're done. Keep walking.
"No one at glee is going to judge you." Rachel said, and Quinn stopped in her tracks. Why did Rachel Berry have to be so nice?
Quinn reluctantly turned around, and Rachel took that as a sign to close the gap between them.
"Look, I know everyone expects us to be enemies and be in competition, but," Rachel shook her head, slightly. "I don't hate you."
What? Why not?
"Why not?" Quinn said. "I've been awful to you."
"That was before you knew what it felt like to be me:" Rachel said, eyes softening. "an outsider."
Quinn couldn't stand her. She has to stop looking at me like that.
Someone walked by them, and Quinn glanced at them, quickly. She didn't want to have this conversation anymore. She didn't want to talk to Rachel about this. She didn't want to talk to Rachel, at all, for the rest of her life.
"People are going to start finding out about this and you're gonna need friends who can relate." Rachel pried.
Relate?
"How can you relate to what I'm going through?" The nerve of her, Quinn thought.
The look on Rachel's face showed that she thought the same. "You don't think that people whisper about me in the lunchrooms? Or," She took a breath. "draw pornographic pictures of me on the bathroom walls?"
Oh, er… shit.
"That was me… actually." Quinn admitted. It became somewhat of a daily routine, actually. Whenever she was alone in there, she would just doodle, mindlessly. They almost always ended up being lewd drawings of Rachel.
Quinn wouldn't admit that, though.
Rachel eyes drifted off to Quinn's side as if she was thinking, before nodding. "Look," She said, gathering herself again. "I don't agree with the choice your making but you're gonna need glee. I-I- you-you have seven months of your youth left. You should enjoy it, and let's face it, in a couple of months that cheerleading uniform," Rachel glanced down at just that. "isn't going to fit, and we're gonna be all you have left."
Quinn looked away again. What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she look at Berry for more than a few minutes?
"Just," Rachel said. "Come back to practice." She gave a small reassuring smile, and nodded, as though she wanted Quinn to nod along with her. "Boys versus girls; it's fun, and we can certainly use your voice right now and you're actually a good singer, Quinn."
Quinn looked away. Again.
"Occasionally sharp," Rachel added. "But that's just because you lack my years of training."
Quinn couldn't take it, she honestly couldn't. How could she be so nice to her when all she'd ever done was insult her? This wasn't the way things worked.
Quinn didn't know what to say. Here was the girl she'd just be completely terrible to, practically doing all she could to convince her to come back to glee club, and what for? She wasn't that good at singing, certainly not as good as her, and they didn't really need her, but Rachel made it sound like they did.
"I… would have tortured you if the roles were reversed, you know." Quinn said, because it was the truth. She would have had a field day.
Rachel nodded. "I know." She looked into Quinn's eyes and smiled, softly, before lowering her head. She slowly took a few steps beside Quinn, and hugged her binder close to her chest, smiling, as she walked away, head held high.
Quinn told herself not to turn around, she looked down at the ground, repeating it to herself: don't turn around, don't turn around, don't watch her go…
But it didn't matter.
Quinn turned and watched her disappear down the hallway. She could feel the familiar feeling in her stomach crawl its way up to her chest.
The One Time Rachel Wasn't Even There.
She'd had enough of everything. She couldn't stand this school, she couldn't stand the people in it, and she definitely couldn't stand Finn.
"You are so INSENSITIVE." She said, storming down the hallway. "Bringing up baby names when you know that I don't want to keep it!"
Finn did his best to keep up with her, dodging people left and right.
"I can't keep it." She said.
"I-I know, but I don't get what you expect me to do about it-"
"Not have an opinion?" Quinn interrupted.
"Hey! This is happening to me, too!"
"No, it's not!" Quinn snapped. They finally reached her locker and she spun around. "You're not the one," She lowered her voice. She was on the verge of tears, that much was clear. "who's parents will burn her like a witch if they find out."
Quinn opened her locker, expecting Finn to just walk away. She was already crying. She'd have to deal with him some other time because she just couldn't right now. She wanted to be left alone.
Instead, he spoke, "You know, sometimes I wish you were a little more like Rachel."
Again, now, just at the very mention of her name, Quinn's stomach did flips. She slowly turned on her side to look up at him.
"Really?"
"Yeah." Finn nodded, confidently. "She cares about my feelings, she sticks up for me; she sticks up for both of us," He leaned in, and whispered, "You know she gave that Jacob kid a pair of her underpants to keep him from posting on his blog about you being pregnant?"
Quinn took a deep breath to gather herself, and calmly put her things into her locker. She knew what was happening. She wasn't stupid.
Finn liked Rachel. Rachel liked Finn.
"You think she did that for me? Just to be a good teammate?" She almost spat the word.
"Yeah, that's what she told me."
Quinn really couldn't believe how stupid he was sometimes.
Most of the time.
All of the time.
"I know that some guys cheat on their wives or pregnant girlfriends," Quinn said. "Just don't do it with her." Quinn slammed her locker shut and sped down the hallway.
Anyone but her…
