Really, I really am trying my best. Still having the same problems with format and all.
Disclaimer: I'll probably never, not in a million years, ever earn enough money to buy Naruto.
"Normal" – Spoken Dialogue
'italic' – Internal Thoughts
{Bold} – Sakura's Inner self
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A Devious Plan
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Sakura scuffed the gray pebbles along the path leaving the academy, aggravated. 'Yet another test,' she ignored Naruto's attempts to get near to her. 'Here I thought we were done with all these silly tests after the academy.'
"Sakura-chan, Sakura-chan! So what are you going to do tomorrow, What's your plan?" Naruto interrupted her thoughts.
'Do? What? Stategies? That's right…' She mused darkly. "Kakashi sensei did ask us to bring all our ninja gear, so there's bound to be a fight. Definitely not going to be your typical survival test…"
"Mou, I bet we'll have to fight each other! Maybe we'll have to fight him!"
"You might be right!" Sakura agreed reluctantly, garnering Sasuke's attention. "But he's a jounin, and we have only just graduated from the academy. We might have genin or chunnin capabilities, but he can't seriously expect us to fight and win a jounin, right? No, it's not right…"
"He even told us the place and all!" Suddenly looking crafty, Naruto added, "Maybe we can set some traps or something! We'll cover him in paint! That'll serve him right, dattebayo!"
Sakura looked even more thoughtful.
"But even with preparation, Dobe, he's still a jounin. Do you think he would fall for some genin's traps?" Sasuke retorted.
"Teme! He fell for my duster trick! He can't be that good!"
"Well, he could be letting YOU underestimate him!" Sasuke snorted. "Not that you're much of a challenge even without that."
"Actually, Sasuke has a point." Sakura interjected, cutting off Naruto's impending blow up. "It's not easy getting the rank of Jounin. He must be some good. We might have to work together to pass this test."
"Speak for yourself. I'm not working with anybody." Sasuke started walking off.
"Oh, so you're going back to the academy to become the #1 rookie for next year too?" Sakura countered snidely.
The black-haired ninja paused in his steps. "I don't need yours or that dobe's help to pass." He continued on his way.
Sakura sighed. She had really needed to recruit Sasuke's help. Dealing with Naruto alone would be exhausting and now without Sasuke's fighting prowess... 'But… There really isn't any choice is there? I do know my own capabilities, but even I'm not good enough to take on a jounin alone.'
"So Sakura-chan, what's the plan?" Naruto asked enthusiastically, excited at the chance to work with his crush alone.
She sighed again. 'No choice, gotta use what I have. He might be really good at setting up traps though, with his reputation as a prankster. At the very least he would be a very good distraction.' Her mind made up, she replied, "We find out about our opponent, and prepare our battlefield." Her eyes gleaming, she started dragging the suddenly apprehensive blond boy to the library.
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The next morning, she woke up extra early, donning her normal training outfit, a dark red Chinese top and black shorts, packed a few ration bars. Setting out at a stroll to the appointed meeting place, her mind reviewed every plan that the pink and blond haired duo had set in place last night.
They only managed to find a little info on their sensei, Hatake Kakashi, in the local library. Apparently, he was also known as the copy ninja, possessing an arsenal of a thousand jutsu, all apparently copied by using a sharingan.
'But he isn't an Uchiha. Which means he got it from some other means? Transplantation maybe?' She shook her head. 'It doesn't matter. We just have to get the bells before he uses it. So let him underestimate us.'
Asking around the village had proved more informative. From the chunnins she knew, she found out that Kakashi was well known as a lazy nin who while being constantly late, loved reading perverted literature. In fact his prized possession was Icha Icha Paradise.
Spending the last evening setting traps had been very productive too. Having a mental map of where every trap was located, she was rather hoping that Sasuke fell into a few as well. Seeing him covered in orange paint would be too amusing. Sakura and Naruto had managed to trade basic information about their own personal skills, setting up a rough plan for today.
Arriving at the training ground, the roseate perched on a boulder to wait and conserve energy. Closing her eyes, she meditated, waiting for the others to arrive. It wasn't long before two more chakra signals appeared, both belonging to her two teammates. Paying them no mind, she ignored them in favour of continuing her meditation, the Uchiha and Naruto leaving her be, Naruto because he learnt how hard she could hit during their preparation yesterday.
30 minutes turned into 3 hours. Naruto turned from grumbling into straight out pacing. Sakura twitched as she kept herself from punching him into the nearest tree. 'I need him, can't put him into the tree. Maybe afterwards. Dammit!' "NARUTO! Stop pacing!"
"But that damned lazy sensei isn't here yet!" He whined, stomach growling, turning around to continue pacing.
"Did you really think he would be early from what we found out yesterday?" Sakura sighed. "Here." She tossed him a ration bar. "You didn't eat did you? This should be enough to stop the hunger. I didn't think he would be on time."
"Sakura-chan! You're the best!" He gobbled down the bar.
"It's only because I need you at full energy later." She took out another bar, tossing it grudgingly to Sasuke. "Here. Unfortunately we're a team. If you lose we might lose too. Besides, I might laugh my head off if I see you lose because of hunger."
"Hnn." Sasuke unwrapped it and bit into it, quickly finishing.
'Too proud to admit that he was also hungry I see.' She scoffed. 'Not like we couldn't hear his stomach from a mile away. Then again, Naruto's was even worse. Men.'
Caught up in her thoughts, she didn't sense Kakashi until he appeared suddenly in a cloud of smoke. 'This is happening way too often.' She choked, waving away the smoke.
"YOU'RE LATE!" Sakura and Naruto chorused in unison.
"Maa, maa… Well, on the way here I saw this old lady carrying a lot of bags and had to help her. After that, there was a black cat, so I couldn't move into its path."
"Sensei, you're lying!" "Liar!" "Hn."
"Anyway," He took out an alarm clock and two bells. "You have until 12 o'clock to get a bell from me. The one who doesn't obtain one before will then be tied to the post and go without lunch." He pointed at three posts close by.
'Hehe… Tell us not to eat to make us more desperate? Not bad, might've worked. But we wouldn't have failed this way...' "Is there any other reason there are only two bells, sensei?"
"Oh, this is the fun part. There's only a 2/3 chance of passing this test, so at least one of you will fail and return to the Academy. Well, it's also possible that only one of you might pass or all three will fail."
Running mental math in her head, Sakura mused. 'Yesterday he mentioned it was a 66% failure rate. Which I took to mean 4 teams or 12 people will fail. Now he tells us it's even lower, probably a 33%- 99.9% failure rate?' She shook her head. 'No, it doesn't match up. How would they train more ninja? Why put us in teams in the first place?' "Sensei, are the other teams also taking the same test?" She asked with an innocent look on her face, green eyes opened widely.
Thinking that she wanted to complain about unfairness, he replied "Well, more or less."
'Even if he's lying to us... It doesn't matter. Our plan is still in effect.' She glanced at Naruto. 'Not that he remembers.' She hit him on the head, interrupting Naruto's imminent tirade.
"Sakura-chan! Why?"
"Stop it Naruto, it's about to start."
Getting the message, Naruto closed his mouth.
"By the way, all weapons, including shuriken are fair play." Kakashi dropped the bomb on them. "You will fail if you attempt this mission with anything less than killing intent."
"Shuriken? You're in trouble! You fell for such a simple trap yesterday!"
"Ah, class clowns are often the weakest link and that they don't pose a threat." Scratching his head, Kakashi added "In fact, weren't you dead last in the academy?"
"Naruto!" Sakura stopped the blond before he blew his top. "Wait."
Forcibly calming down, he stilled. Suddenly a bell rang out.
"Begin."
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Sakura watched the silver haired masked ninja from her hiding place up on one of the tallest trees. The plan is going smoothly. The fact she managed to stop Naruto from fighting the sensei meant that he remembered the plan. Right, so far so good. She closed her eyes and pinpointed Naruto's location with her senses. Right on time. Opening her eyes, she watched as Naruto fought the jounin one on one. 'Phase 1 complete.' She noted as she saw Kakashi taking out his precious Icha Icha book. 'Target sighted.'
The kunoichi winced as she witnessed Kakashi's glorified ass poke demonstrated on Naruto. 'Glad I'm not the one doing the distraction.'
Quickly recovering from his impromptu fly into the lake, Naruto burst out from the water, attacking Kakashi with shadow clones. This had been a major factor in their plan. 'The fact that he could make solid clones…' She shuddered. 'He has massive chakra reserves. I could only make one with the technique he taught me and even that left me too drained.' Sakura sighed. 'All right, he did it! Target has been obtained and switched with decoy. Phase two complete, time to rendezvous.' She snuck away from her position in the trees to their pre-decided meeting spot.
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"Damn! That perverted sensei ran away!"
Kakashi had switched himself with one of Naruto's clones using kawarimi no jutsu, leaving Naruto to fight against himself. 'It doesn't matter. The target was captured! Time to meet Sakura-chan! She'll be so happy with me, she might even go out on a date!' With a dopey smile on his face, literally squealing like a girl, Naruto hurried along to their meeting place, fantasizing about his imagined date. Then he was distracted out of his thoughts by a glint? Straining his eyes, he saw a bell under a nearby tree!
"Lucky!" Without stopping to think, Naruto ran over and scooped up the bell, only to suddenly feel a rapid reversal of gravity. He had been caught by a rope trap and was now hanging upside down. 'Now this is just unfair. He manages to avoid my traps but I get caught in his.'
"Tsk tsk." Kakashi appeared, reprimanding Naruto while waving his finger. "You would think, with the amount of traps you guys set around, you wouldn't get caught in such a basic and OBVIOUS one."
Sasuke, who had been tracking Kakashi, sensed an opportunity and attacked with a barrage of shuriken and kunai. Naruto watched in disbelief as he saw the deadly weapons pierce the scarecrow-nin falling to the ground in a cloud of dust.
"Teme! That was overkill! Now we don't have a sensei anymore!"
"Quiet dobe! It's not over yet."
The dust cleared, revealing a shuriken and kunai pin-cushioned log. Sasuke scanned the perimeter warily, but Kakashi reappeared behind him almost without warning. Barely reacting in time, Sasuke blocked the attack with a kunai, sparking another fight.
With the attention off him, Naruto sneaked out a kunai and cut through the rope holding him in the trap. Falling to the ground, he simply activated another identical trap.
"You can't be kidding me! I'll get out, you can't stop the future hokage with this, dattebayo!" He yelled as he dangled from the second trap.
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After 10 minutes of waiting, Sakura idly wondered what had happened to Naruto. 'We had already obtained the target, so, unless he was caught…' Internally sighing, she set off to rescue the idiot.
Just as she got up, she felt a chakra presence come into her sensing range. 'Kakashi sensei? His chakra's much weaker. Did they really manage to weaken him? No… Something's slightly off. Kinda like with Naruto and his… It's a shadow clone.' She face palmed. Did he really think she was that weak? Sending off a clone to deal with her like that. Fine, be it that way. 'Should I play a weak little girl?' Feeling the slight changes in chakra, she snapped back to attention.
'He creating something like a chakra field in the small clearing north of here, he must have noticed me heading in that direction.' She mulled. 'It seems to latch on my chakra and influence my five senses. A genjutsu perhaps?' Smirking, Sakura walked straight into the field. 'Sure, underestimate me.'
Nothing seemed out of place as she first stepped into the clearing, feeling the chakra settle onto her.
"Sakura, come here." A slimy, but familiar voice called. Freezing, she turn around, sighting a shadowy figure.
"You're not here! You're gone; you can make me do anything anymore!" She cried out, terrified. Her inner that was created ever since that incident long ago, suddenly waking up from slumber, howled. {Shannaro! It's a genjutsu! Dispel it!} 'I can't control… Can't disrupt the chakra…'
"The longer you wait, the harder your punishment will be. You don't want that, do you?" The shadowy figure started approaching.
She started scrambling back at his approach. {Snap out of it! Didn't you say you were going to be stronger? Or have you gone back against your word?} Struggling, Sakura pushed herself up to her feet, forcing her shaking fingers to form the horse and tiger seals. 'I swore that day that no one would ever be able to do whatever they liked to me again!'
"KAI!" The sound travelled and echoed across the suddenly empty clearing.
Panting, Sakura collapsed to the ground. 'That was a genjutsu that showed your deepest fears. I misjudged him, was too overconfident.' Recovering, she rose. "I'll just have to prove my worth."
Trudging on, she stepped into another clearing, just in time to see Sasuke climb out of a narrow hole, and into… "Sasuke stop!"
Disregarding her, Sasuke continued and ground beneath him collapsed. "Argh!" Not managing to catch himself in time, he landed in a vat of orange paint with a big splash. She fought back full blown laughter, forgetting the earlier incident with Kakashi's genjutsu. 'Oh, Naruto is going to love this.'
Naruto, as if summoned by her thoughts, appeared from the east, looking frazzled and holding up an orange book.
Wordlessly, Sakura pointed to an orange paint-dripping Sasuke who was yet again climbing out of a hole.
The blond boy's jaw dropped as he stared speechless for the next few seconds, just before he erupted into hysterical, body shaking, rolling on the floor, laughter.
"Sasuke, I have a proposition for you." Mentally calculating, she added, "We only have about 30 minutes left in the test."
"Hn."
"This jounin has been toying with us, looking down at us, treating us as if we're not worth his time. Are you going to let him step on you like that?" She watched him grind his teeth as she rubbed his failure in, "We have all failed alone. Going back to the academy would be worthwhile if we could just crush his ego. It's not about the bells anymore. It's personal."
"So. What."
"I propose that we work together to bring him down, then only later decide who gets the bells through a three way battle."
Sasuke appeared to be considering it.
"He's currently north from here, and we have the bulk of our traps set up there as well. You'll need to know where those traps are."
Seeing the change on his face, she added, "And we have a trump card." She held up the orange book triumphantly.
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'Really, those genin have been quiet for the last 10 minutes.' Kakashi lounged about. 'They don't have much time left. Ah, who cares?' He shrugged, mind returning to his favourite Icha Icha scenes.
"There you are!" The noisy blond ninja appeared, interrupting him just as he was reaching for his beloved orange book that was supposedly in his back pouch.
"Ah, the deadlast."
"You… You!" Naruto started shaking, trying to control his impulse to attack the masked jounin.
"Haven't learnt your lesson yet?"
Finally shattering his control, Naruto leapt at the ninja.
Behind a massive tree, Sakura convened with an orange-coloured Sasuke.
"I'm going to walk out and distract him. You and Naruto will get a chance at the bells. Don't waste it."
Taking out the orange Icha Icha book, she sauntered out to the field.
"Don't move Sensei, if you don't want anything to happen to this."
Suddenly freezing, Kakashi craned his neck over to her, eyes widening and face paling when he spotted the orange book.
"If you do anything to it…"
Opening the book and holding it as if poised to tear it, Sakura interjected, "Why Sensei, would you be so concerned about this old thing?"
As she moved as if to tear the book in half, Kakashi panicked, appearing behind her and snatching the book away. Taking the opportunity, she tried to swipe at the bells, but he dodged agilely.
"Good try."
"Sensei, what makes you think that's the real book? Do you think I'm so stupid as to take out the original at the first go?" Kakashi froze again as she took out yet another book. "NOW!"
Naruto and Sasuke appeared simultaneously at the opposite sides of the jounin, knocking him into a nearby trap. The trap triggered, causing a log to swing by and a barrage of senbon with Kakashi managing to dodge them with little effort. He paused yet again when she pretended to start ripping the pages. Taking advantage of that, Naruto activated his clone that was acting as the replacement book, and managed to startle and restrain Kakashi for a second. Just long enough for Sasuke to pilfer the bells.
Quickly retreating to the other side of the field, the genins celebrated their victory as the bell signaling noon rang. 'In the nick of time.' Sakura almost slumped in relief.
"Sensei, please wait awhile, we agreed on something." She set her shoulders resolutely and moved to the middle of the field near a stone pillar where she settled the bells on the ground. Sakura nodded at Sasuke and Naruto, and they formed a triangle formation about 50 metres away from each other at every end with the bells in the middle.
Kakashi could only watch dumbfounded as they leapt at each other, apparently fighting free for all. 'What did they… Why did they…?'
Finally having enough, Kakashi exploded, "STOP! Someone explain what's going on."
Temporarily halting, the three 12-year olds looked at each other, and Sakura stepped forward, having apparently been elected unanimously.
"Sensei, we agreed earlier that we would work together to get the bells and only later decide who would get to keep it."
Sighing, Kakashi palmed his forehead, rubbing it to sooth his sudden headache. 'This team just had to be darned complex did they?'
Sighing out loud yet again, he proclaimed, "You all pass."
"EH?" A collective exclamation from the three new genins sounded out.
"The point of the test was teamwork." He admitted, still trying to figure out how they managed to set aside their differences to team up. "And you did work together to get the bells."
"But only two bells?" Sakura questioned, still confused.
"It was meant to see if any of you could place the team above yourselves."
The three genins seemed to droop and wilt and that revelation.
"We really only meant to beat you, sensei." Sakura confessed.
"Maa, maa… Insignificant little details. Anyway, you've passed."
Moving to the stone pillar near the middle of the field, he waved them over. "Look at this. The names of some of the village's greatest warriors are engraved upon this." He stated with reverence, cutting into their victory celebration.
Breaking the silence, Naruto burst out, "I will get my name there too one day, dattebayo!"
"Every name on that pillar, every person, has sacrificed their life for the village." Kakashi responded quietly, almost muttering, stunning Naruto into silence. Pulling himself out of the melancholy mood, he stated, "You are the first team to ever pass my test and now you are now officially my students." Adopting a serious face, he continued, "Remember this, one of a ninja's most important rules. Those who break the rules are scum, but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum."
"We will meet at 8 tomorrow morning for training. I need a full assessment on your capabilities." He started muttering to himself about how their appearances and records were deceiving, stating something about evilness in pink hair and his Precious.
"Oh, by the way, why is Sasuke orange?"
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Author's note:
Hehehe.. What will happen now that Kakashi's actually properly motivated? Hope you guys like my spin on the survival test. How bout a trailer? =P
He looked at them, frustrated. "You lack strength, only versed in basic academy taijutsu and some bastardized mix of other styles." Pointing to the blond, he continued, "Your taijutsu is an atrocious brawling form, balance off, and worst, you just rush your opponents, not thinking." "And you, have no teamwork, your ego could fill the room and crush us all."He kept quiet for a few seconds, eyes suddenly gleaming with malice, feeling vindicated when he felt his new students shrink back in fear. 'This is revenge for stealing MY Precious.' Mentally cackling like an insane asylum escapee, he added, "I'm going to work you all to the ground."
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