Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. If I did this would be a comic and cannon, and nobody but me wants that.
ATTENTION: If you aren't 17+ I advise you don't read this lil' piece of fiction I call mine. Not this chapter because it's pretty tame, but rest wont be.
Chapter 2: NORMAL PEOPLE (are boring)
"…the GPD is still unclear at how the rogues managed to disable the locks of the cells and with a body count of just one guard and 6 police officers, this is the most low profile scape the Joker has done. It is believed he was attempting a quick and discrete getaway, unheard before of the Clown Prince of Crime, but he is known for being unpredictable. Together the convicted Bio-Terrorist Pamela Isley and his rumored girlfriend and accomplice former Dr Harleen Quinzel, 2/3rds of the so called Gotham City Sirens "Poison Ivy" and "Harley Quinn" were last seen running from the asylum in a black SUV after blasting a GPD Helicopter. Any information leading to the incarceration of the 3 criminals is being compensated by the office of the Commisoner…" the TV could be heard in the back while I fried some bacon and did some toast. Puddin' liked his toast slightly burned so I did it just like that. I was barefoot and started to get chilly. Stupid Harleen, you know how cold the floor gets in the mornings.
"HARELEEEYY! Where are my purple Italian leather shoes?" he was so silly sometimes, I shouldn't have let him watch "The incredibles" he's been doing it since.
"Under the bed Pud!" I yelled back at him
"You had to do your part pooh" I jumped, as he was right next to me.
"Don't sneak behind me like that Mistah J" he did that a lot, I saw his beautiful naked pout, he hadn't put his lipstick on yet "Ya almost gave me a heart attack!" he walked past me and grabbed a plate and some bacon I put a piece of toast in his dish and grabbed the coffee from the counter.
"You know I've been thinking Harls" he began and I managed a half "yes Pud" from my mouth full of bacon "this is no place for my growing operation" what? This is the first I'm hearing of this, seeing my puzzled face he continued "We need a bigger place, a better place. You have been with my band of merry clowns for how long now?" Ooh! I knew this one.
"Ten month and 19…,20,… 25 days! Baby" and counting I added in my head.
"Yes well, eleven months or so. And in that time how many times the bat has spotted my warehouses and my provisional hideouts?" He used that rhetorical question tone, but I knew better than to not provide an answer.
"6 times sugar pie"
"Exactly, what I need Harley girl is something close to the HaHacienda. Some place that's unplottable and we need to redecorate this place too pumpkin pie…" I got the feeling he was gonna be locked up in his office, he had that look in his eyes. Oh well I could use some shopping, ooh I could call Ivy and have girls night! "… Harley it's brilliant, why didn't I think of it sooner? We'll never know, and with Christmas just a few months away too! Terrific. I'm going to my office now Harls, be a doll and stock my snacks and then you can go on and do whatever it is you do when Daddy's working" he was on the stairs now, it seems I missed some kind of plan or brilliant idea but I got up and grabbed some Oreo's and doughnuts and a pair of sodas to give puddin' and went upstairs, knocking on the door.
After getting my man everything he needed I got my duffel bag from under the bed and went to my closet. I chose some black skinny jeans and a cute red of shoulder long sleeved shirt some camel coat and a pair of caramel leather boots, stuffed in the bag along a black wig and my cell.
Pamela Isley didn't expect Harley to call her just two days after the breakout, but I didn't take her by surprise. She was just getting reacquaintance with her babies when her phone ringed.
"Harley?"
"Hiya Red!" well she sounded pretty chirpy for having a spat with the joker "I'm on my way to your place, be there in 10" well that did surprised her.
It turned out that Harley was fine, and Joker hadn't done anything to her, yet. But was working on some new "grand scheme" and that left Harley bored and alone. No surprise there. She wanted to go shopping. Good, honest to god shopping too. She even got money, real money! From… wait for it… The Joker. Pam was out of her mind with this new development but as any good girl friend would do, she kept her reservations and let Harley put her on a brown wig, spray paint any visible skin of her body and dress her on civilian clothes. While she had doubts it would work out, she went with it. They could handle a few policemen if that were the case and Harley clad with a ridiculous pair of boots and short black hair had a concealed berretta under her coat. And Ivy, well she had her plants, and toxins, and pheromones.
"This is gonna be so much fun Red! We get to go incognito too. The perfect gag, Daddy'll be so proud of me." Harley definitely had a dependence problem with the clown. But she was her friend and if Harley accepted the green skin, her unusual views about man's mistreatment of her babies and her humor, she could try and accept Harl's love for the psychopathic clown.
"I'm sure it will be fun Harls, but why the wigs and boring clothes?" she had to ask
"Cuz, they won't expect it Pam"
"Well I certainly didn't"
"Let's go!"
A slick sedan pulled in front of Gotham's Square Park Plaza, a high and upstanding mall favored by the younger upper class of Gotham's elite. Two Young women got of the car and went inside. A Normal occurrence, for a lot of the malls patrons had chauffeurs, nobody paid attention to them, well a couple of men that saw the beautiful but decidedly common girls did cast a passing glance to them.
"Isn't it nice "PENELOPE"? Nobody screamin' and cryin' when they see ya, just normal people doing normal stuff" said a raven haired Harley putting enough emphasis in the made-up name to make it suspicious if anyone was really listening to them.
"Oh yeah, nice umm... Helen. Very day-to-day and tame" said the now brunette Pamela.
"ya know PENELOPE ya could be more enthusiastic. We are free from the law, isn't it exiting?"
"I guess, just not really confortable in this whole ensemble Har-Helen"
"I guess I don't like this Wig to much, but try to be less depressing PENN-oh what the hell, try to have fun red" It was pretty ridiculous to keep that long and stupid name anyways.
They first went to Kitty's Lingerie, but after 5 minutes of furr, pom poms, and neon laced stockings. Pam had enough. Harley had to admit that none of those outfits were Puddin's proof and definitely not the pompom babydoll. This people knew nothin' bout sexy. Next they decided to go to Lacey's Department Store. Where Pamela got some pots and vases for her flower plants and Harley found a plush lime green carpet, a purple striped comforter and some new nail polish, they paid for their items and called Smiley, their driver for the day to put the bags back of the sedan.
"This sucks" it was Harley the one who said it "normal people are so borin' they kill me"
"I told you girlfriend, they have boring lives, boring clothes, boring pastimes…"
"Okay, I actually miss the terrified screams and the cries of mercy" Pam didn't want Harley so down so she suggested they went for lunch and then they could go to the diamond district pop some masks and pretend they were other rogues. "That's brilliant Red! But first let's grab some bat-burgers" oh hell, NOT bat-burgers, anything but.
Troy Hughs had been working in "V Magnum Diamond's" for almost three months and was ready to pull of the best inside job Gotham's jewelers had ever seen. He had everything planned. Everything but Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn. Undercover as petty burglars, dressed all black and with… batman and robin's masks? Not that Troy knew they were Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn. So when police officers showed up after the two villains had escaped with 2.6 million dollars' worth of diamonds he confessed every little detail, saying once and over again "I had nothing to do with that. That wasn't my plan" to say the GPD were confused would be an understatement.
AN: okay not much of joker in this chapter, don't feel disappointed. There is a lot more coming and I'll try to keep updating fast as long as my muse lets me. So why don't you leave me a comment in the review section. Pretty please, with a joker on top? I would like to know what you think of the story so far, what would you like more? What would you like less? What would you like? Period. Also our favorite bat in cape is coming up in the next chapters so… leave a review.
