Zedd was humming when the Seeker awoke, happily stirring something he had created in a pot above the fire. Kahlan was still asleep beside him, he knew she would be, considering how exhausting the night before must have been for her. Laying his blanket over her, he came to his feet and walked toward his grandfather.
"How's your lip?"
"It's fine."
"You two mustn't do that again, Richard. It's dangerous."
"I know it's dangerous, Zedd. Kahlan told me the same thing."
"Before of after the kiss?"
"Both." Leaning over the pot, Richard took in a deep breath. "Smells delicious."
"Of course it does!" Zedd said cheerfully before his smile faded. "You two were gone for hours, Richard. That kiss-"
"Was all that happened, Zedd. We didn't speak for a while, neither of us willing to end the silence first."
"Richard-"
"I'm not wrong to have feelings for her and no matter what you believe, she won't hurt me. At least, not in the way you both fear." Looking over his shoulder, he looked at the sleeping brunette and smiled. "She'd do anything to protect me, even if it killed her."
"Is that what you want for her? Richard, you may love her, but holding onto her may not be the best thing for either of you. She can wait for you to find a way to be with her for the rest of her life, but if that day never comes, she will pass on to the underworld without living a life of her own."
Returning his eyes to the older man's Richard frowned. "You're saying my feelings for her are holding her back?"
"Maybe not now, but when she returns to Aydindril and has to take a mate, she's not going to be able to go through with it. She's not going to want to hurt you. She's the last Confessor, Richard and she has a duty to her people. They need her to create more and protect them."
"And she can't do that if she's waiting for me."
"Are you angry with me?"
The soft sound of Kahlan's voice pulled him out of his thoughts and brought his fast pace to a stop. "What? No. Why would you think-"
"This is the first time you've spoken to me all day."
Richard looked around them at the darkening sky, realizing the time as he saw his grandfather struggling to catch up to them. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize- It was sunup a few minutes ago."
"Are you alright?"
"Fine," he answered quickly, making sure he didn't look into her eyes as he lied. "We should find a place to set up camp."
"Cara's already searching the area." Grabbing his hand, she stepped closer and ignored the disappointed look on the wizard's face. "Richard, what's wrong?"
"Nothing."
Lowering her voice, she stared into his eyes. "Is this about last night? Was that all you wanted from me?"
He saw the hurt in her eyes and knew exactly what was going on in her mind. This was the moment he had been thinking of all day. His answer, if he gave the right one, would ruin everything the had fought for and would, in all likelihood, break her heart. "Kahlan-"
Releasing his hand, she stepped back and blinked rapidly to hold back her tears. "No..." Dropping her eyes to the ground, she turned away from him just as Zedd reached them. "I'll find Cara and help with the rest of the search."
"Are you alright, dear one?"
"I'm fine, just tired. I think we moved a little too fast today."
Before he could respond, she was walking away, nearly running with her speed, but he didn't try to stop her. Instead, he looked to his grandson, who held a firm and emotionless face.
"What happened?"
"I let her go."
Shaking his head, Zedd came closer. "I saw the look on her face, Richard and that wasn't from a simple release. It looked like you took something from her." The older man sighed heavily and came forward, grabbing the other man's shoulders. "Last night, when you were with her-"
"Let it go, Zedd! It doesn't matter what happened last night, I let her go! She's free to have-"
"It matters! Have you lost your mind?! Do you have any idea what you've done?!"
"She didn't confess me."
Folding his arms, the wizard shook his head in disappointment. "Did you truly give it no thought?"
"Wh-"
"She is the Mother Confessor and she has- had yet to take a mate. Confessors do not simply take a man, Richard and she will face severe consequences for what the two of you have done. If she conceived a child-"
"I was with her one time, Zedd and she didn't-"
"A Confessor's magic does not need to be released in order for her to conceive a child." Turning away from his grandson, Zedd began walking toward the firelight in the trees. "I can't imagine it was an easy decision for her, we both know how she feels about you." Looking over his shoulder, he paused his steps. "You need to go find her."
"What am I supposed to say? I pushed her away, just like you said I should."
"Pushing someone away, does not mean breaking every piece of them. You owe her an explanation and so much more."
"Kahlan?"
She turned without hesitation, her eyes still wet with her tears. "I have nothing left to give you."
"Kahlan-"
"Please, just go."
"I can't." He sat down beside her, ignoring the way she leaned away and cringed. "Kahlan, I realized something today and when you asked me- Kahlan I was ready to have you spend the rest of your life waiting for me to find it. I was going to find a way to be with you and I didn't care how long it took." Richard looked ahead of them, watching the waves of the river rush over the image of the moon. "But you have your own life you have to live. When we seal the rifts, you'll go back to Aydindril and we were fooling ourselves to think that would be the end of it. You're the Mother Confessor and we both know what is expected of you."
He looked over to her just in time to see a set of tears leak from the corners of her eyes and down her cheeks. The night was cool and the breeze that brushed by them seemed to add to the pain she felt within. She wasn't sobbing, like he thought she would be, but she was stronger than anyone he knew and the tears that streamed down their face, told him just how much she hurt. She didn't cry often, but it wasn't the only thing that broke him with every breath. She had a pain in her eyes, one he had never seen in anyone before. It was sharp, but dull and wide to ensure the pain.
"I know you, Kahlan," he added after a moment of silence. "How can you have a life if you're waiting on me?"
"And you've made the decision?"
"I had t-"
Her fist slammed into his face before he could finish his thought. "You don't get to decide on your own! This is not your life alone! Not after what we did last night." She started to hit him again, but he grabbed her arm. "How dare you-"
"There is nothing you can say that can make me feel worse than I already do."
She tilted her head and yanked her arm free, slapping her hand across his chest before pushing him to the ground as she straddled his waist. "Make you feel worse? How do you think I feel?!" Her fists thumped against his chest twice before she slouched forward in tired defeat. "How do you think I feel? Richard, I-"
"I know," he whispered up to her, catching her gaze. "Kahlan, last night was... You were... Kahlan, you were- I'm sorry I made you feel like you were-"
"Disappointing," she said softly, darting her eyes to the ground.
He reached up to her face and cupped her cheeks. "I wish that was the worst I made you feel. I didn't want to hurt you, Kahlan." Dropping his hands to her hips, he held her to him firmly, his mind replaying the night before. "I never wanted to make you feel like you meant nothing to me." She started to move off of him, but stopped as his hands tightened on her. "Don't, please. I know I hurt you and you have every right to want to get away from me, but I-" Letting go of her, he dropped his hands to the ground and continued to stare up at her. "I am sorry, Kahlan. I should have thought it through. I shouldn't have allowed myself to think about this without you."
"You told Zedd, didn't you?"
"I think he already knew."
Her head tilted to the right, the way it did when she was disappointed or sad, her hair falling over her shoulder. "You're here because he told you that I may be with child, aren't you?"
"Kahlan-"
He was too fast for her, his hands grabbing her waist before she could remove herself from him. "Let go, Richard." Meeting his eyes, she pulled on her Confessor's face and swallowed her pain. "If I am with child, I will not hold you accountable. You will have no obligation the child."
"And if I wanted to be her father?"
"Why would you?" she asked sincerely. "We laid together once, there is no man who would want a child to come from that."
"I would. I do," he said instantly, almost surprising her. She knew the kind of man he was and knew that if she had indeed conceived a child, he would make certain that he was there to help whenever he was needed. "Kahlan, think about it," he said with a sly grin. "If we created a child, you couldn't get rid of me." She nearly laughed as she nodded, understanding where he was leading her. "We would have everything and all of the time in the world to be together. Yes, most men don't want a child with a woman they spent one night with, but that is only because they don't love them. A child would hold them to the mother and in our case, I pray-"
"Don't," Kahlan interrupted sadly, her emotions flooding through her. "Richard, you can walk away from this. You can go home and find a wife. You can have the life you're imagining."
"I want it with you and I know that you think that it's impossible, you all do, but that doesn't make me want it any less. I can try to push you away and hurt you, but we both know that it would be a matter of time before I came running back to you. It doesn't matter if we can't be together, not to me. I want a life with you and I will take it however it comes." He paused for a moment, trying to read her as she stared back at him. "I choose you, but I'm afraid- Kahlan, I know you would never choose me."
"Richard..."
"You can't find the words because it's true. No matter how much you cared about me, you would never take me, but last night, I'm not so sure. I saw it in your eyes, how close you came to letting go. I nearly held you so tight you would have had no choice but to let go. I wanted to."
"I was afraid, for a moment, that you were going to."
He smiled wildly and brought his hands to her hips, pulling her against him just slightly. "We could do it again." He stopped as her face hardened, knowing what she was thinking. "If you are with child, I would like to stay and be a part of her life, in any way I can."
"I wouldn't keep you away."
Holding out his hand, he tried to find a serious face. "Mother Confessor, I believe we have an agreement."
Shaking his hand, she smiled warmly, almost removing all of the pain in her eyes. "Lord Rahl." When their hands parted, Kahlan brought her eyes to the ground. "How angry was he?"
"Not as angry as I thought he would be. He was more upset with the pain I had caused you. I think he secretly wants a great granddaughter." She didn't smile like he thought she would, but then again, it wasn't an entirely happy subject for her. "He knows that you would never hurt me, Kahlan."
"I hit you," she said softly.
"And you're very sorry for that."
The smile on her face grew without care, matching his. "I am?"
"Oh, yes. You regretted it the instant my blood touched your knuckles."
"It may have been a few moments later."
"What do you mean a few mo-"
"We should head back before Zedd sends Cara after us."
"He won't," Richard told her through a whisper, his eyes moving over her slowly. "As far as he knows, we're fighting."
"You shouldn't look at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like you did last night."
Bringing his eyes back to hers, he tried to catch his breath. "It's hard not to." His hand came to the front of her stomach, his palm flattening against the leather as he imagined the feel of her skin. "I don't think you realize how beautiful you are." Sliding his hand up, he traced his fingers over the edge of the corset along her breasts. "One pull, Kahlan."
"Richard..."
Grabbing the lacing, he slowly began to pull. "You can stop me."
She heard the sincerity in his voice, his eyes never leaving hers as she remained still and allowed him to continue. When the corset was loose, he held it to her and waited for her to stop him. Her movement surprised him, her hands moving around his arms and pulling at his shirt, giving him all of the permission he needed to continue. Yanking his shirt over his head, he returned his hands to he leather and slowly removed it from her body.
Richard brought his hands back to her stomach and traced his thumbs around the edge of her skirt before sliding his rough hands up the smooth skin of her sides. He craved her breasts, but couldn't bring himself to move too quickly, though his eyes could barely look away. He had seen a handful of women naked before, but none came close to the beauty of the woman before him. Gliding his fingers around her shoulders, he paused and suddenly dropped his hands. It was her turn.
She hesitated, at first, but once he brought her hands to his chest, she grew braver. His skin was soft, but hard, his muscles flexing beneath her touch. The action made her feel as though she was a different woman, attractive and fearless. After tracing the index finger of her right hand around the Keeper's mark, she cupped his cheek, running the pad of her thumb across the stubble.
Leaning down, she kissed him, releasing a soft moan as her chest flattened against his. He wasted no time wrapping his arms around her, making sure she was as close as possible. She was gentle with the kiss, easing around his newly swollen and slightly bloody bottom lip. Their bodies pulled at each others, trying to mold together without care as their need grew. Richard rolled over her, sliding his hands between them for another feel.
Arching her back, she pushed into him. He gave her chest all of his attention, his mouth slowly making its way down. Her fingers threaded through his hair, pulling gently every few seconds as his lips reached new territory. She tried to keep quiet, holding in the urge to purr his name in pleasure and beg him to never stop. He circled her breasts slowly, running his tongue smoothly between the two globes.
His mouth returned to hers, his tongue instantly welcomed by her own. He rocked forward, an action she was thrilled to receive, but frightened by the reaction she wanted to give him. Her hips rolled forward against him, a silent welcome he didn't rush to take.
Breaking their kiss, Richard bumped his nose against her chin and waited for her eyes to meet his. "We don't have to do this, Kahlan."
Her eyes were dark, her magic rising within her as she allowed herself to fully feel the weight of him above her. "And if I wanted to?"
"Do you?" he asked through a heated whisper.
"I might."
"That's not an answer."
Gliding her hands over his back, she stared at his lips, finding them easier to look at without feeling guilty for the images in her mind. "It's the only safe answer."
"I don't want to hurt you, Kahlan."
"I know." Returning her eyes to his, she lowered her arms and licked her lips. "We shouldn't..."
He lifted himself from her at once and moved to sit before her. "We don't have to, Kahlan."
Sitting forward, she hesitantly crawled onto his lap. "I'm sorry, Richard."
Letting his arms circle her waist, he gave her a small smile and leaned forward, brushing his lips lightly against hers. "It's alright, I understand."
"Would you mind if we sat like this for a while?"
"No."
He held her for an hour, their lips connecting again and again as their chests remained together through each gasp for breath. The wind picked up and her hold on him tightened, using him to keep her chest warm. The air blew past her back, making her jump into him before breaking their kiss with an apology.
"Do you want to put your corset on?"
Grinning, Kahlan pulled on his shoulders. "No. I can think of something else that can keep me warm."
"Spirits, Kahlan," he whispered into the air as she moved them so that he laid above her. "We shouldn't lay like this."
"You don't want me to freeze do you?"
"No," he answered quickly, his left hand snaking between them to cup one of her breasts. "But I don't think I can stop this time."
"I don't want you to."
"Maybe you should hit me again. If you did, we won't have to say anything when we return."
"Because you'd have a broken nose," she said through a soft laugh.
Richard stood behind her, lacing her corset, faster than the night before. She could barely stand straight, her body swaying in exhaustion. "You don't have to hit me that hard."
"Don't I?" she teased with a glance over her shoulder. "They won't believe it any other way." Turning into his arms, she smiled and brought her right index finger to trace the bridge of his nose. "Zedd will be able to heal it."
"Why does it seem like you are looking forward to hitting me?"
"I held back the first time."
Laughing, Richard stepped back with a nod and stiffened his back. "Alright, I'm ready. Hit me and then release your magic."
"Richard-"
"Trust me, Kahlan."
"What-"
"You won't be able to stand by yourself for much longer, if you release your magic, they'll think you were angry and overworked yourself. They won't blink when I carry you back."
"I can walk back, Richard."
"Alright. If you can stand when this is done, I'll let you walk back."
She swung instantly and without warning, slamming her fist into his face. "I'm sorry, I thought it would hurt less if you didn't know when it was coming."
The Seeker fell to the ground, grabbing his nose as he bent over with a cough. "Thank you." Straightening his back, he forced a smile when he stumbled back to his feet and blinked back the tears in his eyes. "It still hurt, though."
Reaching out to him, she pulled back his hand and leaned in close. "It's definitely broken," she said as she touched her index finger against the skin.
"Ouch!"
"Sorry, I was just making sure."
"By poking it?"
"We should wait another few minutes to make sure it bleeds a little more."
"Only one thing left to do, Kahlan."
"Richard, I don't want to."
Taking three steps backward, he nodded toward her with a small smile. "I won't touch you, I promise."
Turning away from him, she closed her eyes and let her magic tear through her. Dropping to her knees, she sucked in a deep breath and gasped as her vision grew blurry. He had he right, she knew he would be, but a part of her wished he didn't have to rush to her side before her world went black.
