Sorry it took me so long to get this out! Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I didn't get a chance to get back to everyone, but every time I got a review I read it with a smile and got inspired to write more. This update is long to make up for my tardiness.

I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. I didn't really edit it all that much, so hopefully there aren't too many errors. Please let me know what you think!


I wasn't sure how to answer him. I wasn't even completely positive I could find the words to respond. How could he be so aloof? Wasn't he aware how deep my desire for him was?

Without a doubt, Edward Cullen was the most sexually repressed, ignorant fool I'd ever met.

And I loved him whole-heartedly.

"More than anything," I responded fervently, clutching his shoulders and pushing him so that his defenseless body moved closer to mine.

For a moment he seemed to want to move back but then his eyes flashed and he stayed where he was, his thighs pressing lightly against mine. A hardness, subtle but unmistakable, was pressing against my leg. I was overtly aware of it, though I could not identify it. I didn't want to ask Edward what it was and reveal my inexperience, so I subtly rubbed against it. To my delight, Edward groaned.

"Please, Bella," he begged and ordered at the same time. I had never been so confused, or aroused, in my whole life. Ever since I had met Edward I had been sexually frustrated. Suddenly that expression seemed tame and inadequate in comparison to the lustful, incomprehensible, unwavering, overwhelming flood of emotion that rested somewhere in my stomach and unpredictably rose into my chest.

I couldn't entirely understand it but I loved the feeling. I knew it would lead me somewhere else eventually and I was determined to find the means to bring me there.

Without a second thought, I writhed again. He moaned and I delighted in the sound, unsure exactly why my innocent positioning had him so excited but happy with it regardless.

Slowly, a lewd conversation I had with a boy came back to me.

"What happens when you get excited?" I huffed, annoyed with Josh Berringer, one of my classmates in the 9th grade.

He had told me girls get wet "down there" when they were around a guy they liked. Josh claimed I was "wet" around him, which I denied. As a defense mechanism, I reflected the situation back on him.

"We get hard," he eventually stuttered before running off to play basketball with Daniel Spumoni.

As Edward lay on top of me, there was a definite hardness pressed between my hip and pelvis bone. Realization dawned on me and heat flooded to everywhere.

Oh, Edward.

"You're driving me mad," Edward groaned with his eyes clenched shut. All the playfulness from before had vanished. In its place, the electrical charges of want and lust pulsated through my small bedroom.

Something was going to happen tonight. It needed to.

"What do you want, Edward?" I asked softly, stroking the side of his face with the back of my hand. My lower body shifted and accidentally rubbed against him once more. His eyes shot opened at the sensation and I'd never seen him look so hungry, so wild before.

"I want to possess you," he told me fiercely. "I want you."

He kissed me almost violently, though his stony, cold lips somehow felt as soft as clouds against mine. One of his hands slowly but determinately ran down the side of my body until it reached my right calf. In a fluid move, Edward brought my leg up and around his waist so that our bodies were nestled more intimately together. The erection I was only beginning to get used to now very obviously rested between my legs where the heat and the wetness Josh had described were increasing.

My desire could surely be felt and smelled by Edward, who moaned throatily at the sensation as his eyes shut in delight. "What am I going to do with you?" he asked, more of himself. "I've never wanted anything more than I want to crawl inside you and make you cry my name." His eyelids fluttered open and he met my stare. "I want it more than anything," he whispered, almost guiltily, as though he were confessing some great crime.

"That's all I ever wanted," I murmured fervently, eager to quell whatever insecurities Edward had.

Edward's forehead rested on mine and his hands slid across the bed sheets until they were on either side of my face. He formed fists which clenched the sheets desperately. "We… can't."

But I didn't believe him, not anymore. I knew he wanted this and I knew that neither of us would be able to deny ourselves anymore.

I hated to do it, really I did, but the flames flickering beneath my flesh were growing painful now. I was panting, as was Edward who also emitted a strangling, grunting noise every now and then on an exhale. I was going to have to utter the magic word.

"We must," I said after a while. "We'll go slowly. I promise." Edward looked at me speculatively but said nothing. "You need this and I need it, too. I need it more than anything." He still looked like he was going to refuse me and put a lid on the conversation, so with a shaky breath I uttered the word that hurt me to say as much as it hurt him to hear. "Please."

I wasn't proud of myself, or the way my voice shook and whined as I said my plea. Edward had told me time and time again he could never refuse me when I said that one simple word and I believed him. Now I was taking advantage of that. For a moment, Edward's eyes blazed with something like betrayal. Slowly that faded into rage. Eventually all anger drifted away and all that was left in his eyes was resignation. And maybe a hint of lust.

"I won't make love to you tonight." He said this in a tone that left no doubt he meant what he said. Something told me he was trying to convince himself more so than me, but I let it go.

I smiled and raised my hand to his hair, now more disheveled than ever. "I just want to make you feel good. We don't need to have sex for that."

Edward let out a sound that seemed to rumble out from somewhere deep within his stomach. "You're too desirable for your own good. You know exactly what you're doing to me."

I had enough conversation. Edward's hard-on was firmer than ever and my own hormones would not let me think of anything except its pressure against my body. "Can I touch you?" I whispered, shamelessly beseeching him with my words and eyes.

He sighed and for a horrible moment I thought he was going to leap up and leave me. But then one corner of his mouth shifted upwards and I knew I had him. I tried not to squeal girlishly at the thought. "It would appear now I have no choice."

"Really?" I asked in disbelief. I was more than thrilled he was going to play along but I thought I was going to have to spend much more time urging him on.

"Bella, you've worked me up into such a state of arousal that I don't know what's wrong and what's right anymore. I want to please you, that's all my mind is set on. I don't have the energy to resist you anymore." I opened my mouth to speak but a cold finger stopped me. "But you must tell me if at any point you become uncomfortable or if I hurt you. Am I understood, Bella?" His voice was rough with worry and desire. The authoritativeness in his tone didn't frighten me; it aroused me to no end.

Something told me that should alarm me but I shook it off.

"Yes," I agreed breathlessly, nodding my head like a frenzied bobble-head doll.

As Edward reached for the zipper on my pants, the situation finally caught up with me. While Edward and I would not be having actual intercourse, we'd be engaging in some kind of activity that would likely lead to mutual orgasms. That thought alone made me feel light-headed, unbearably horny, and undeniably terrified.

The latter emotion was suddenly all I could feel as Edward began to quickly tug off my jeans.

"Wait!" I screeched, wincing when I realized that I had cried out so loud. Edward was staring at me remorsefully, like what had just been happening finally clicked in his head. I saw rationality creeping back into his eyes and I panicked.

"I don't want to take off my clothes, that's all," I explained quickly. "My shirt is one thing… My pants are another."

"I don't think you're ready," Edward said gently. My eyes narrowed and my blood literally boiled in my veins. My hormones had definitely gone haywire. The primitive lust I felt for him was infecting my brain.

"We're both getting used to this, Edward. Now stop it and touch me."

He almost looked amused. "Enough, Bella. We've gone far enough tonight."

I was about to protest when Edward's cell phone started vibrating in his pocket. He muttered something like a curse as he fished it out, moving slightly against the spot on my body screaming for his touch. I could feel that he was still very much turned on and if the physical evidence wasn't enough, Edward's tortured moan certainly sealed the deal.

"What?" Edward answered with a growl.

I thought I could make out Alice's excited jabber on the other end.

"That's absolutely out of the question."

More squeaks.

"Honestly, out of everything we could do that's probably the most dangerous. I could just –"

Her voice was getting more agitated.

"Mind your own business!" Edward hissed, flipping the phone closed and effectively ending the conversation.

The majority of Edward's body was still draped across me so I luxuriated in the feeling of it as he took steady breaths to calm down. Eventually his eyes met mine again and I nearly passed out at the blatant erotic fire behind them. He may have calmed down his rage, but he couldn't overcome his lust.

"Alice called to offer some advice," he finally said.

"Which was?" I asked in a voice that surprisingly sounded quite sure.

"It was… an alternative to what we originally had in mind. One that would allow us both to keep our clothes on."

My eyebrows rose in a silent gesture for him to keep going.

He ran a hand through his hair and stared at my collarbone. "She suggested we… mimic intercourse."

It took me a few moments but it clicked. I had overheard many references to this in school. "Like… dry-humping?" I was embarrassed to say things like that to Edward, of all people, but really - what other expression could I use?

"Something along those lines, yes," Edward confirmed in an almost shy voice.

Automatically my other leg twisted around his waist so that he was even closer than before. A noise vibrated out from Edward's chest but he said nothing. I waited for the eventual refusal but it never came. Slowly, so slowly that at first I thought I was imagining it, Edward's hips began moving.

Maybe he'd decided, too, that we'd done enough talking.

The whole thing was incredibly surreal. Not long before, Edward had finally gotten to kissing my bare breasts. Now, he was imitating the most intimate act a couple could engage in. And God, it was good.

I could tell by the firm set of his face that he was restraining himself but he couldn't seem to control his hands. They roamed restlessly across my body, lingering in places like the soft flesh of my stomach or the delicate silk of my chest. One finally found its home on my right breast while his other arm stretched out to the side of me. He put most of his weight on that arm so that now he could move more swiftly and firmly on top of me.

At the flood of the new deliciously new sensations, the both of us cried out. For the first time in my life, I saw the 17 year-old inside of Edward. It was so amazing to see him like this, vulnerable and gasping above me, stripped of all the hard walls he'd crafted to mask his emotions. This was my Edward, the true Edward, no longer slave to his own expectations of propriety. He wasn't arrogant or smug anymore; he actually looked a little lost, but I knew he was lost in me. And that was the most arousing thought of all.

That, in combination with the actual feelings being brought on by Edward's tender but focused thrusts, brought me even closer to some incomprehensible finish line.

He was gasping louder now, my name making its way more frequently out of his parted, shocked lips.

"I never knew," he started but cut himself off with a groan.

"What?" I whispered, wrapping my arms around him tightly. I licked up his cold throat and kissed his jaw. "What?" It dawned on me that I was begging but I didn't care.

"- it could feel like this."

"What could?"

"You. Me. Like this."

It was getting harder for him to speak and it was becoming next to impossible for me to think. With one thrust, he changed positions and hit me in such a sensitive spot that I shrieked. He asked me if I was okay but he couldn't stop himself and I couldn't blame him.

"More than okay," I promised and he sighed as he kissed me deeply.

I nearly fainted when I felt his tongue against my lips, silently begging to join mine. And how could I refuse?

The kiss was hot, the best we'd shared so far. I never wanted it to end.

Suddenly Edward was massaging my breast with more fervor, his thumb taking care to move in fast circles against my nipple. The sensation of it was overwhelming.

"I love," Edward gasped as he began moving his hips forward with such force that he moved my entire body upward, "I love seeing you… like this."

"Me, too. You're beautiful, Edward."

"I can't wait for this to be the real thing."

I was completely shocked. "Me either."

"I've wanted to be inside you from the very first time I realized I loved you. Maybe even sooner than that."

Oh. My. God.

Was I dreaming again?

I pinched myself but Edward was still there afterward, grunting with his efforts.

"Have you… ever had an orgasm, Bella?" Edward managed to ask me.

All shame and embarrassment had long since deserted me. I didn't even blush as I answered, "No."

Edward grinned at me, heartbreakingly beautiful and sexy. "Well, prepare yourself." Somehow he managed to go faster, exceeding any speed expected from a human. His hard penis could clearly be felt even through my jeans and his own and it dawned on me that this was an indicator of just how much he wanted me. "Because I'm about to make you come so hard that you'll forget your name." I moaned loudly. "But you won't forget mine," Edward promised with a particularly strong thrust, "because you'll be screaming it."

"Oh, my God," I wailed. "Please, Edward."

"Yes," he cried. His length was massaging against me maddeningly fast and hard and Edward was right. I couldn't remember my name, or where I was, or who I was.

All I knew was Edward.

And I only know that's all I knew because that's all I kept screaming.

And because, even though our lower halves were covered and we were nowhere near as close as we could be, I felt him all over me. I felt him all around me. I felt him inside me. He was me, and I was him. We were one.

His golden eyes pierced mine as his movements became impossibly faster. I saw sparkles of great light all around us and knew that the unspeakable pleasure others had alluded to in the past would soon be mine. Judging from Edward's almost pained-sounding pants, it would be his as well.

"Bella!" he was crying out now, moving deeper and faster against me. "I'm going to come soon!"

"Yes!" I begged, feeling my muscles tighten up. "I am, too!"

And just like that, my world erupted into a paradise I'd never known and never wanted to leave.

Edward's hands moved to my shoulders and clenched almost painfully around them. "Oh, my GOD!" he moaned as I felt his erection move on its own. "I'm coming all over myself," he whispered, not realizing I could hear him. I suspected that if he knew, he'd be pretty ashamed.

We both basked in the unbelievable ecstasy for who knows how long before Edward's eyes popped open and shimmered down into mine.

"Are you all right?" he asked softly.

I giggled and kissed his cheek. "Only if we can do that again."

I nuzzled my face against his chest and thought over what just happened. I blushed at my forwardness and at the new side of Edward I had finally been privy too. If he could make me feel like that by just moving against me, what the hell would actual sex feel like? I had never felt so close to him before. I looked back up into his face which was illuminated in the moon's soft light. He never looked so beautiful.

An eyebrow quirked. "Oh?"

He didn't look angry but slowly as my mind replayed my actions, I grew worried.

"Do you regret it?" I asked seriously. "Are you angry with me?"

He sighed and moved so that he was lying beside me. His long arms wrapped around me and brought me close so my chest met with his. "I regret losing control and attacking you like a starved animal. But I don't regret in sharing the single most amazing experience in my life with you, or for making you positively glow with rapture." The he smiled warmly and kissed me with such emotion I nearly cried. "And I can't wait to feel that way again, myself."

"We can do it again?" I asked, like a kid who just hopped off a rollercoaster – a bit of weariness and a big amount of excitement in my tone.

He grinned, probably thinking along the same lines as me, and nodded. "Over and over, if you'd like. But I think you should probably get some sleep before our next round."

I giggled again, not even bothering to be disgusted with myself for my annoyingly girlish behavior. "Okay."

"Sleep. I have plans for you in the morning."

And just like that, Edward had me all hot and bothered again.