A/N: Best review ever of "The finale broke me, and this helped." on the last chapter. Thank you.
Blake didn't know how far she ran.
But it wasn't far enough.
She collapsed with a gasp and her head hit the pavement of the sidewalk. For a second, Blake considered just staying there and letting the black at the edge of her vision take her, but a shout of annoyance brought her back to reality and she dragged herself into an alley a few feet to her left. Something warm started dripping from her brow and Blake reached up to check if she was bleeding or swelling. Her fingers came back red.
Blake groaned and pressed a hand against her stomach as she felt the wound there threaten to open again. There hadn't been enough time for better stitches to be sewn and the ones holding her closed could be considered amateur at best and hasty at worst.
There had been time.
A hiss escaped Blake's mouth as her thoughts betrayed her and threatened the break she had felt coming for the past few days. Blake pushed the thoughts away and edged farther into the alley; closer to a large, green dumpster as someone kicked an empty can at her, muttering something that sounded like "Dirty animal." The thought to attack the man and prove how much of an animal she really was crossed Blake's mind, but she pushed that away too. Those days were behind her.
"Blake, what are you doing!"
"Blake!"
Sun's shouts echoed in Blake's mind as she tried to catch her breath. Sun's voice was angry. Betrayed. Like he had expected better of Blake. Like he had expected her to stay and look Ruby in the eyes. To tell Weiss, "My ex-partner nearly killed Yang but she will be okay." To beg for Yang's forgiveness when she woke up.
Blake nearly laughed to herself. Apparently Sun didn't know her all that well.
Running was what Blake did. It's what she had to do. In the billions of alternate universes that supposedly existed, Blake was sure that there wasn't a single version of herself that didn't run. There wasn't a single Blake that stayed and saw Ruby's tears or heard Weiss's anger or felt Yang's hand around her throat.
Only because you make it that way.
Instead of replying to herself like she wanted to, Blake felt her stomach rumble. When was the last time she had eaten? Probably with Weiss at the fairgrounds right before the attack had started. When had that been? Three, four days…?
Blake felt the pain as she thought of food. It had been a long time since she had been truly starving. Not since she had been a street-rat before joining the White Fang. Days without food, most of it scraped from the bottom of a dumpster since no one would give a Faunus a single lien, even if they were a child. Blake could remember one time where a man in a suit had offered her a meal if she chased a toy mouse and meowed for him. She had learned what law enforcement would do to a "delinquent who attacked innocent people, unprovoked" that day.
Another growl came and Blake looked at the dumpster besides her as the smell started to hit her nose. It was a foul, slick odor. Something that burned her nostrils like rotten eggs that had been lit on fire with a bed of hair as kindling. Blake would have vomited if she had anything in her stomach, but the smell was familiar. It was the smell of improperly disposed of burn dust based oils that were commonly used in frying and cooking. Blake turned her eyes up and noticed a neon sign that read Lily Pad Noodles in bright green letters.
Neon isn't green. That's a krypton light.
Weiss, please, not now. Blake thought as a smile almost broke across her face. What were the chances that she would collapse right outside a restaurant? For a second, Blake thought about going in and buying some food, but groaned with annoyance and self-loathing as she realized the flaw in her plan. She had left her backpack in Vale. The surgeons had taken it from her while they were operating and there hadn't been time to grab the bag before Blake had left.
As if to answer her thoughts, a bell rung and a couple stepped out of the shop. They couldn't see Blake since their backs were turned to her, but she could see them; and more importantly, she could smell their food. Just above the rancid odor of the oils were the sharp smells of properly seasoned cuisine that was rich with flavor. The broth, the noodles, the fish. It was all there. And it all smelled so good.
The couple were two men, both of them shorter than Blake and neither built very well. Even in her injured state, Blake was almost positive she would be able to overwhelm them and take their food. People were afraid of Faunus. And one that had a semblance that could produce multiple copies of themselves would be terrifying. Especially if they didn't know that Blake's clones couldn't actually do anything to hurt them.
Blake's stomach growled again and she even shifted her weight to stand up before she stopped herself. She was better than that. She had given that life up. What kind of huntress would she be if she mugged two innocent people just because she was hungry?
One who runs away from all their problems.
Blake pushed the thoughts away again as she used the dumpster as a steady weight to pull herself up with. Luckily, the lid was already open. Half the issue with dumpster food was getting it. Owners usually reported anyone digging through their trash or, if they didn't, simply took the law into their own hands. It was imperative to be as quiet as possible to avoid detection and lids were the nosiest parts of dumpsters.
Blake let out a sigh and then held her breath, pushing her head forward to see what was held inside. The dumpster was about half full. Most of the garbage was in thick plastic bags and Blake felt her heart sink. Without Gambol Shroud she had no way to cut the bags open to get at the food. She most certainly wouldn't be able to get inside the dumpster to try and untie the bags thanks to her stomach, and pulling a bag out would be too loud.
But a jolt of excitement ran up her spine as she saw it: an open bag of slightly rotten greens sitting right on top. Blake wasn't sure how she had missed it on her initial assessment, but she didn't care. Rotten greens were almost as healthy as regular ones. You just had to be careful to pick off the parts that could make you sick.
Blake reached for the food and almost had it in her finger tips when she heard a gasp behind her and the shattering of glass hitting pavement. She spun as fast as she dared and standing in a door that Blake hadn't noticed was an old woman. Her skin was dark and her hair was green and the wrinkles on her face couldn't possibly have all come from the look of shock she was wearing.
Blake pushed off the dumpster to get any sort of momentum going but she felt a stabbing pain shoot up her spine and a gasp barely escaped her lips before she was face down on the pavement again. "I'm sorry, please don't call the police. Please don't. I'll do anything just please don't call the police." Blake heard her own voice and she hated it. She was a begging squabbling mess that and there were tears at the edge of her eyes as she tried desperately to crawl away from the woman and away from her dinner.
"Oh dear! I won't call the police." The woman's voice was gentle and surprisingly kind. The usual venom of discrimination wasn't present and her words seemed truthful though maybe Blake was just hoping. "I'm sorry I startled you."
Blake pushed herself to her knees and then slowly to her feet, the pain of each motion stabbing and cruel. She didn't bother to turn around, "I'll be going."
"Oh nonononononono!" Blake heard the scurry of feet and felt a hand touch her shoulder which she flinched away from and that quickly retreated in turn. "Please, come inside and eat. This isn't how anyone should live."
A moan from her stomach that shot electricity up Blake's center betrayed the lie she was about to tell. Honesty was supposed to be the best policy anyway, "I don't have any money."
The hand came back and hovered an inch from her shoulder before retreating again, respecting the boundary. "It will be on the house."
Blake didn't say anything. She didn't want to impose on this woman. Involving her in Blake's life, even if only for a brief moment could be disastrous as it had often proved to be. A member of the White Fang could be sitting in that shop right now and could recognize her as soon as she stepped inside the door. This noodle shop would surely be burned to the ground and Blake would have to keep running. And if the pain in her abdomen and head were any indication, she wasn't up for much more.
But her stomach growled again and Blake felt how heavy her eyes were. Without food she couldn't survive. And if there was anything she was good at, it was surviving.
And running.
"Only if I can't be seen by the front."
The woman paused for a second, "Of course, dear. Now come with me." Her voice had a tone of surprise, and maybe even suspicion, but it wasn't to any degree that Blake felt she was being lied to.
With a heavy sigh, Blake turned and followed the woman inside the restaurant.
The kitchen was small and cramped, filled to the brim with pots and pans of various shapes and sizes along with crates of food stacked haphazardly against the walls and appliances. There was a young man with lion ears working at cutting vegetables when Blake walked in and he briefly raised his head to asses her before looking back down at his knife work, apparently unimpressed. Blake thought about the dirt, blood, and bandages on her and couldn't help to agree with his assessment though Blake had to wonder why he wasn't at least a little surprised.
The woman took Blake's hand and guided her to a back room. It looked to be a walk in pantry with its narrow walls and shelves but the table and single chair sitting in the center of the area disrupted the space. Not to mention there wasn't a single ingredient on any of the shelves.
The woman motioned to the chair and Blake took a few steps forward to take the seat before pausing. If she sat down, she wouldn't be able to see the door. She wouldn't have time to react if someone came in behind her.
"Um," Blake took a step back. "Would you mind if I faced the door?"
The woman eyed her for a second before shaking her head and going to rearrange the chair and table. Blake felt guilty that she couldn't help, but she doubted she would do anything but get in the way given the state of her being.
After a few seconds of scraping and grinding and an impressive flip of the chair, the room was oriented such that Blake could both get by the edge of the table and would be facing the door with her back to a corner. "Thank you."
"Now, please, take a seat." The woman smiled as Blake inched her way past the edge of the table between the shelves and the wood and then gingerly took her seat.
"I will be right back."
Blake watched as the woman rushed out of the room and heard the clatter of pots and pans in the next room along with shouting in a language that she couldn't understand.
You shouldn't be here.
The pit of anxiety in Blake's stomach twisted and gnawed at her though she wasn't quite sure what was hunger and what wasn't. Was the woman calling the police and had simply tricked her so that Blake wouldn't escape? Or would that come later when the woman accused Blake of stealing food from her because she thought Blake had money and Blake had "lied" to her? Or maybe she was getting a knife and since Blake was trapped-
The woman came through the doorway with a bowl full of steaming liquid. "It isn't much, but it is what I can spare for now. I will make you more but I figured you were hungry now." She rested the bowl in front of Blake and smiled brightly.
"Thank you." Blake took the spoon from the bowl and held it up to her mouth, pretending to have some semblance of control instead of simply drinking the whole bowl right then and there. Her aura could probably heal internal burns. Or maybe it couldn't. Biology wasn't one of Blake's stronger classes.
The broth hit her tongue and it exploded with flavor. The seasoning was hot, but not overwhelming with a flair of salt and vegetables. There were so many flavors that Blake lost count of them but they ranged from fish to celery to ginger to soy and everything in between and it took all of her control not to moan with pleasure. Blake went for another spoonful, and another, and before she realized what had happened, the soup was gone.
Blake looked up to find a small bowl of noodles sitting at the end of the table. Apparently she had been so engaged with the soup that she hadn't noticed the woman come in and place it there. Blake didn't pause to feel the embarrassment creep onto her face and instead started grabbing the noodles with the chopsticks provided and devouring those as well. They were just as good, if not better than the broth and Blake couldn't help but wonder if she was supposed to have mixed the two together.
The pattern continued for a little while longer, Blake eating and not noticing more food being presented to her and then consuming that as well. Though her stomach had shrunk over the past few days, Blake kept eating until she was absolutely full and nearly sick. There was no telling when she would get another meal like this.
Especially if you keep running.
The food in Blake's mouth turned to ash as the woman came around the corner and Blake saw her eye the only partially eaten bowl of chick noodles. "There is a shower upstairs and a spare room if you'd like to spend the night, dear." She moved to start clearing the multitude of dishes that Blake had accumulated and before she left the pantry she looked back, "There are stairs on the other side of the kitchen. If you leave your clothes outside the door I will wash them while you shower."
"Tha-"The woman was gone before Blake could finish the words and even wonder if she wanted to accept the offer. This woman had shown that she was able to be trusted. Was there any real harm in taking her up on the offer to spend the night and giving herself a break? God knew how long it had been since she had taken a shower…
You don't deserve one.
Blake pushed the thoughts away and stood up; inching past the table again and heading towards the opening that lead to the kitchen. She pocked her head through and didn't see anyone so she quickly moved through it, making sure to duck underneath the window that lead to the front of the store despite the pain it caused.
The stairs were almost hidden behind a few boxes of mysterious roots that Blake couldn't identify but she moved past them and rushed up the stairs as silently as she could. The upstairs hallway was about as wide as the pantry had been, but the doors seemed to open outwards instead of inwards. Poor building design for poor people no doubt, but Blake paid it no mind as she quickly spotted the bathroom and entered it.
It was a tight room filled with one too many fixtures though Blake couldn't tell which one was the wrong one. The small sink that hung to the wall came out a bit too far and the toilet was a bit too large as well, meaning to get to the shower, one had to step over the toilet. Before Blake committed herself to the action, she began stripping off her clothes.
Each article seemed to stick to her in a new way. Some were from mud, caked into the clothing and glued to her body. Others were from sweat, slick and slippery but still clinging to her skin like oil. And her shirt was taped to her with rusted blood that cracked and pulled at her skin as it released its grip on her.
Blake folded the clothes as best she could and opened the door to place them outside but was met by the woman. Blake jumped in surprise and hid as much of herself behind the door as she could, feeling the heat in her face.
"Oh, sorry." The woman didn't sound very sorry but she grabbed Blake's clothes and then handed Blake a towel. "Here you go. There are spare clothes in the room two doors down on the right. That's where the bed is."
"Thank you." But the woman was already heading down the hallway with her clothes. With a sigh, Blake shut the door and placed the towel on the toilet, taking a second to look at herself in the mirror above the sink.
Blake looked about as good as she felt. The cut on her forehead had bled and dried into her eyebrow, matching the tons of dirt that was plastered across her body and face; both shining from the oil and sweat that lay in a thin layer across her entire body. Her hair was matted and wild and her bow had long since stopped hiding her ears. She braved a look to the stab wound on her stomach and found it staring back at her, angry and red. Almost definitely infected.
"Great." Blake stepped over the toilet and into the shower, struggling for a minute on figuring out how to turn the thing on, but quickly found that the knob had to be pressed as well as a little lever pulled. Water shot out from the shower head and Blake pulled the curtain shut as she felt the cold water run over her body. Something damp pressed against Blake's hair and she felt her bow pressed against her head. With a curse, she untied it and tossed it onto the towel, freeing her ears.
The water turned warm and Blake began washing her body. It was a slow process as she didn't want to upset her wound any more than she already had. Each motion had to be deliberate and purposeful and though the water was never hot, the warmth was comforting. It crossed across her stitches without upsetting them but the wound itself was tingling. For a second, Blake risked closing her eyes, just to feel the water run down her.
"Miss me, my Love?"
Blake felt the intense, searing pain of Adam's sword again, pushing through her stomach and her eyes shot open, wild with the energy of the fight.
But there wasn't anything there. It was just her. Showering.
Blake took a breath. She shook as she inhaled and suddenly the water didn't feel warm anymore. Blake could feel it, at the edge of her mind. The break that had been building for a few days. But not here, not now. Hopefully not ever, but Blake couldn't risk falling to pieces in a stranger's shower.
After a minute, Blake felt her breathing normalize and she shifted positions so that her back was to the faucet the water was steaming through her hair. Agitating the stab wound on her front was a good way to bring back unpleasant memories. Blake shut her eyes so she could wash her hair without the soap getting in them. It would be fast. It would have to be fast. It-
"If you were so sorry, why did you leave?"
Blake opened her eyes before Yang could say anything else. She would rather be stabbed by Adam a thousand times than hear Yang again. Blake didn't want to imagine what it would have been like if she had stayed. That's why she had left. That's why she had-
"I'm. Not. Running!"
"You will."
Blake felt the chocked sob escape her before she could stop it as she remembered the few words she'd said to Adam. Before she'd been stabbed. Her vision began to swim and her breathing shortened. Pain shot up Blake's spine as she felt the sword again and it took everything she had not to cry out in pain. Before-
"Oh God, I'm so sorry, Yang." Blake chocked out another sob and something started running down her face though Blake couldn't tell if it was tears or water. "I'm so, so sorry." Her body racked with sobs and her knees hit the linoleum of the shower floor. "I didn't mean for this. I never wanted this for you. For anyone." She'd gotten so many people hurt because of her mistakes. Again. It was like she had never left Adam's side. Like she had planted that bomb. So many hurt. Because of her.
"You brought the White Fang right to our doorstep! How could you?"
"I know Weiss. I know." Blake took her head in her hands and ran her fingers through her hair a few times. Each pass the fingers snagged and she pulled out a few pieces of hair but she didn't care. Blake started rocking back and forth as she saw Weiss take a few steps forward and press her pointed finger against Blake's chest. Accusatory. The implication was clear, Blake had said that the White Fang wasn't a part of her anymore and she had lied. It had come for her and it had broken her. Weiss stepped away.
"Blake, we know that you didn't mean for this to happen but a lot of people got hurt because of you."
Blake brought a hand to her mouth as Ruby scolded her and her dinner threatened to release itself. Her team leader was disappointed. Ruby was one of the few people who had ever reached out to try and kindle some sort of connection with Blake. Ruby, the person who believed in everyone and what anyone could do if they just put their mind to it. The gentle frown and slant of Ruby's eyebrows as tears fell down her face. Blake shut her eyes to try and escape the sight but Weiss came back instead.
"And then you ran! Blake, you promised us, you promised me, that you would be with us through thick and thin!"
"Weiss I-"
Blake was on the ground with Adam staring down at her. The thin, cruel smile as he read Blake like a book.
"Starting with her."
Blake's vision swam as she saw it happen again. Adam was more than ready when Yang turned the corner. Yang screamed in fury and leaped forward, using her weapons to make herself even faster. For a second, it was almost as if she was going to be too fast for Adam.
But no one was faster than Adam. He cut. She fell.
A hand grabbed her shoulder.
"Blake, how could you leave without saying goodbye?"
Blake chocked out a sob and let out a wail of pain and remorse as she heard the betrayal, the pain in Yang's voice. It was the voice of someone who had been broken, learned to love and then was kicked again because they had let their guard down. Blake wailed in remorse, "I'm sorry Yang, but I love you too much to let this happen again! I can't let anyone get hurt because of me and the mistakes I've made! I can't let you get hurt again because of me! It's my fault, it's all my faaauulllt!"
"Blake, you know that I would do it again if it meant that you'd stay don't you?"
Blake took the cup of tea that Yang offered her and sipped it as Yang waved her stump at Blake with a smile. "I mean, I guess I'm all-left instead of alright, but that's okay. Just means I get to make arm jokes!"
A shadow of what might have been a smile passed across Blake's face. "Why? It's my fault you got hurt."
Yang shrugged with a smile and took a sip of her soda. "Nah, I got a bit too feisty. You know how I am. Besides, it means that you loooooovvvveeee me."
Blake sipped her tea again, hiding the heat that had risen to her face. "Yeah so? Doesn't mean you love me."
"Maybe I do. I never got to tell you if I did or not."
Blake felt a twist in her stomach and felt her heart in her throat. "You do?"
"Maybe. You know you can't run from yourself right?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." The cup clanked loudly against the table as Blake set it down a tad too hard.
Yang smiled, a sad smile that made Blake's heart hurt, "Well, when you do, let me know."
Blake woke up with tears in her eyes in a bed she wasn't familiar with. It took a second, but she remembered where she was and realized that she must have passed out in the shower and the woman must have brought her to bed. Blake felt heat in her face but didn't bother to register it as she sat up off the mattress and looked for her clothes. She found them on a chair by the door with a small note on top that read: Cleaned as best I could. You're welcome.
Blake got dressed as quickly and as silently as she could, taking care not to press all her weight anywhere to avoid any loose floorboards giving her away.
As soon as she was dressed, Blake wiped her eyes and left the house. She thanked the woman one last time before she left the building and prayed that she hadn't caused her any trouble.
Blake felt something at the edge of her mind but she pushed it away. The thing slid away with almost no resistance and Blake felt her stomach flip. A break like that couldn't happen again. Blake wasn't sure she would be able to handle another if it came. When it came. Seeing those things had been too much.
Blake shook her head and stepped out of the alley and into the darkness of the street. The sun hadn't come up yet but it looked as if it was only a few hours away. She had a long day of travel ahead of her.
