Chapter 2

Promises

I thought I was okay realizing I made a mistake
I've been doing some thinking ever since I saw you today
Maybe I said somethings that I didn't mean trying to change your ways
But my days ain't the same, maybe you should've stayed, I had a...Flashback

She didn't know why she was suddenly lost for words. Me, Not Talking? Pfffttt. But the look on his face wasn't what she wanted to see. Carly tucked a hair behind her ear, losing her confidence as she moved closer to her best friend. She'd been ringing his cell phone off the hook for hours, needing to hear his voice, his reassurance that everything would be okay. She tucked her hands in her coat pocket as she took a place beside him -- close, but not too close. She stayed silent a moment before turning her head sideways to look at his face. All she she could see was anguish and regret, and it broke her heart.

She cleared her throat. " I uh -- I was worried about you. You didn't answer my calls. . . ." she trailed off, not knowing why it was so hard to talk to him all of a sudden.

Jason didn't turn her way, instead he stayed staring at the water -- wishing for just a moment his life could resemble the calmness that was in front of him. He sighed, his voice quiet. " Carly, I didn't answer your calls for a reason. I needed to be alone." He stated simply.

Carly nodded, knowing what he had been going to say but it not making it any easier. He was shutting her out. Just like before when he'd told her they couldn't see each other. But this time she didn't think yelling at him would help her as she glanced back up at him, she could make out in the moonlight the lines that marked his face. The hollows in his cheeks betraying how run down he suddenly seemed and wanted nothing more than to pull him into her arms and help him. She swallowed, trying hard to keep her emotions at bay.

"I know but I thought -- I thought you needed me..."

Jason almost smiled at Carly's words. Of course you did. For as long as he'd known Carly, she never allowed herself to just stop and think. It was why whenever he needed time away, she was always right there. Most times it annoyed him, frustrated the hell out of him actually. But sometimes she was right, when it counted and he didn't really want to be alone with his thoughts, didn't want to think about whatever was bothering and welcomed his best friend. But after his argument with Liz, he wasn't sure this was one of those times.

He ran a hand over his face and turned her way finally, to see her eyes moving across his face probably trying to read his mood. He sighed at the familiarity he felt just by looking at her. Sometimes he could look at Carly, at her body language, the slight quirk in her eyebrow, the smirk on her face and know exactly what she was thinking. And he knew just by the way her eyes still harbored unshed tears, that it wasn't only her concern for him that brought her here.

He let out a breath before asking a question he wasn't sure he wanted the answer to. " What Happened?" He asked softly. The words were barely out before, Carly threw her body against his and wrapped her arms around his neck. Instinctively his arms circled her waist, as he felt her cry into his shoulder.

"Everything is a mess Jase -- my marriage is falling apart!" Carly mumbled. She squeezed him tightly, taking all the comfort she could.

Jason stroked her back, closing his eyes briefly before continuing. " What's wrong?? "

Carly unwrapped her arms from his neck, and used the back of her hand to wipe her face. She hadn't meant to do that. For once, she was going to just be there for Jason. But when their eyes met, she had wanted nothing but to feel Jason's reasssurance. To her, there was no one else the understood her better, no one else who knew how to make things right. And it made her sellfish. No you were born that way Carly. It made her want to keep Jason to herself and never let go. Which is why your husband want's you do to exactly that Carly! She swung away from Jason, running her hands through her hair as she thought about what had prompted her to seek him out.

/

Carly shook her head, almost laughing at the ultimatum her husband just landed on her. " You've got to be joking right?" She asked, not really wanting an answer.

Jax looked up to the ceiling, trying to rein in his temper, and utter frustration with his wife. He threw his hands out his side as he spoke. "NO Carly..." He Yelled. " I'm actually NOT joking. You have to choose right here and right now. " Jax's began to punctuate his words., his hands pointing towards the ground. " Jason or me, Carly?"

Carly wanted tear her hair out right about now. She and Jax had been yelling for the past hour about the same things back and forth. She wanted him to have nothing to do with Kate and he wanted her to have nothing to do with Jason. The only thing was, only she knew that that ultimatum would end their marriage. Because one of them was going to gave, and she knew it wouldn't be her. Her eyes filled as she looked away from Jax, trying to gather herself.

"Why?" She whispered tortuously. " Why are you doing this? You knew that Jason was my best friend coming into this. This is not NEW Jax!" She yelled.

"But I didn't know I'd been competing with him for your attention Carly." Jax yelled back. He could feel his stomach begin to feel uneasy. She didn't say his name and that didn't escape his knowledge. Suddenly he felt drained.

The fight had begun on the topic of his visiting Rome to see Brenda. He shook his head as he turned away, taking a seat on the couch, he stared at the ground. Their marriage had seemed tough at the beginning, but he had had no idea how much harder it was going to get. He had thought Sonny would be the biggest obstacle. When she had confessed she's slept with him, when he left the first time he'd been devastated. He had never met anyone like Carly, someone so strong, he used to wonder how he would fit into her life. Sure he'd known coming in it was complicated, but it hadn't mattered to him because he thought he'd sweep her off her feet. That she would never love anyone like she would love him. He sighed as he thought about the never ending drama that surrounded him now. It wasn't that he didn't somewhat enjoy fighting with Carly. No he couldn't say that, because It was half the fun, when the thing they fought about wouldn't risk their marriage.

But Jason wasn't a topic he could take lightly. He wasn't just a best friend that Carly hung out with once in a while. He was the best friend with 10 years of history. The man that had drove Carly to probably do the craziest things she'd ever done in her life, all because she'd loved him. The man that was a father to Michael before he was and the man Carly trusted more than her own husband. That was all Jax saw when he'd see Carly and Jason together. Everytime his wife was upset or hurt, it was Jason she'd run to. The man even knew that Carly had wanted kids before he did! I'm her husband dammit. She has to choose me! His jaw clenched in anger. But she didn't in the hospital with Michael when he'd wanted to help her the most. And he hated to admit how needy that made him sound. How selfish he was, that he couldn't even let his wife grieve with her best friend without being upset. But he didn't need to look at her to know her answer, and he didn't need to hear the silence that was becoming suffocating to know that he may not get the outcome he wanted.

Carly felt the tears roll over as she watched the inner fight going on in Jax, as he sat in front of her. Her hand flew to her mouth as she tried to think of something to say to take the pain away. Her voice was thick with emotion as she spoke. " I don't know how to fix us Jax..." She tentatively sat down beside him on the couch, resting a hand on his knee. "I love you-- so, so much. I'm sorry I shut you out before." She spoke softly. " I was grieving the only way I knew how-- but I want us to work ..." Carly reached out and tenderly grabbed his face in her hands as she tried to get him to listen.

Jax nodded, resting his face in her palm. He knew without a shadow of doubt he wanted it to work also. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Carly. He leaned forward and rested his lips on hers, using his arms to pull her closer until she was almost in his lap, and he was cradling her. " I do too..." He spoke softly. "I'm sorry. I just want you to choose me Carly.. I want to us to get through this together.." He continued, searching her eyes to see if she felt the same.

Carly nodded. " We will Jax... I swear I'll fight for us." She spoke earnestly. She meant it to, she realized. Sometimes she was surprised by how much she loved Jax. Like it had creeped up on her, and she wasn't sure how real it was. But she could feel the guilt creep up on her as she felt the relief that slowly began to seep through her bones as she realized she had just barely sidestepped Jason ... Again. She leaned forward and kissed Jax again before standing up and taking his hand, she lead him upstairs.

Carly shook her head of the memory of last night. The irony didn't escape her that she was right back leaning on the man that her husband fought for her to let go of. She laughed aloud, suddenly it all seemed so funny.

Jason stared at Carly bewildered. She's laughing? His brows furrowed as he watched her laugh, when moments before she had been crying with the same intensity. He rubbed his hand over his face, and took a deep breath. This woman is going to drive me nuts. "What-- What happened with Jax, Carly?" He asked flatly.

Carly snorted. "What didn't?" Her smile only dimmed slightly as she spoke, the laughing subsiding. " You know..." She said as she smirked."Maybe we should have gotten those phones, that we only talked to each other on... " She watched his face to see if he remembered their conversation so long ago.

Jason rubbed his cheek slightly as he remembered when they'd been trying to prove Hannah was an agent. He shook his head as his mouth quirked. But he could still see the pain behind the surface, and gently prodded, touching her arm lightly. " How about no?... Stop evading the question... Tell me what happened."

Carly sighed. " He's hurt Jason..." She shrugged. " That I keep turning to you instead of him. " She rolled her eyes, swinging her arms out in front of her. " He wants me to give you up. Can you believe that? " She asked incredulously.

Jason closed his eyes painfully as Liz's earlier words returned once more. But you love her more... He shook his head. This is crazy. He'd known Carly for almost as long as he'd been Jason Morgan and since they'd been friends everyone from Sonny to Sam to Emily had been asking him why he stuck around Carly. He could never explain it to them, cause they didn't see her the way he did. They didn't know that although she may be annoying, and needy, and selfish, and had a plan up her sleeve about anything. He knew she would sacrifice just as much for him. When it came down to the wire, the only person he'd call would be Carly. He sighed as he thought about Jax. He never liked the guy. Hadn't wanted Carly to marry him. But he'd stood up for her at the wedding, knowing she'd be happy. Glad she could find someone to love her in the way Sonny never could.

He rubbed his brow as he thought that it didn't seem fair that the Aussie was now asking her to give him up. But he understood it. He knew how much Carly depended on him. He also knew that it had to stop, because he couldn't risk her and Morgan the way he'd risked Michael. And if that meant pushing her away for her to be safe, then maybe this was the opportunity he had to take. No matter how much it pained him to lose her.

He turned away from her. Trying to distance himself .He shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe he's right Carly." He said quietly.

Carly squinted her eyes, an eyebrow raised at his response. " Well that's Definitely not what I wanted to hear..."She said annoyed. She threw her arms in the air. " Are you nuts, Jason?"

"No Carly, I'm telling you the truth." He said flatly. He tried his best to not betray any emotion, somehow it made it easier if she was going to be angry, He could deal with Carly angry, " I already told you we can't see each other. Jax is right. This stops now."

Carly was sure she was hearing things... " I thought I told you --"

" I"M telling you ..." Jason interjected. "That it's not safe. And I'm not going have you or Morgan turn out like Michael." Jason suddenly yelled.

Carly jumped back at the force of his words. Her eyes beginning to tear, as she suddenly felt like everyone was against her. Suddenly she felt like her attachment to Jason was all one sided. " So that's it !" She yelled back, getting in his face. "Your just going to dash me aside, like I'm not your best friend. Like I dont mean anything??"

Jason steeled himself against her tears, Not wanting to see the utter hurt on her face. " Listen Carly, it's because I care about you so much that I'm making this decision..." He sighed, "For once just listen to me, and stop fighting."

Carly laughed in anger. " LISTEN?? LISTEN??" She asked loudly. "Well when you say something that's worth listening to maybe I will!" She answered back. She spun away and began to pace in frustration. " You know I expected Jax to react the way he has, because he doesn't get us. Not the way Sonny did. I get that." She spoke, as if trying to convince herself it was all real. " I know it's crazy that I trust you more that anyone on this planet. But it's not going to change just because you want it to Jason!"

Jason shook his head, knowing this was not going to be an easy fight. But his gut was telling him he had to win. He had to keep her safe. "Carly--"

Carly whipped around and stalked over to him, her hand already pointing in his face. Her eyes wet with tears, and taut with anger. " I'm not your goody two shoes girlfriend Elizabeth Jason... I'm not gonna NOT fight for you."

Jason clenched his jaw at her digg at Liz. " You promised --"

Carly got closer to Jason, their faces almost nose to nose as she spoke. " Yeah, well you promised you'd never leave me or lie to me." She stated, staying silent a moment to let it sink in. " I guess we all break promises Jason."

Flashback, I really love you
So sad, thought I was over you too fast
God, I wish I could re-live the past,
Of the flashback

Song Credit - Kelly Rowland - Flashback.