Pairing: McAbby
Summary: Parenting 101 for one Timothy McGee
Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Zip. Zilche. Nada
Ya know, I know I'm not exactly the most "masculine" guy, as Ziva would put it, but still...I figured that I should be the one to make the final decisions, right? Ha, I was wrong. I have definitely learned a thing or two these past couple of years when it comes to living with Abby. I'm pretty sure that the #1 lesson learned would be:
1. Always remember that she is one of the few that can kill you and leave no forensic evidence, as she so clearly states to all of us when we've irritated her..
chocolate cupcakes left in the fridge from Ziva are for Abby ONLY. Do not eat them.
3. Try to be as comforting as possible when she realizes that Hot Topic doesn't sell clothing in Maternity sizes.
4. Don't ask stupid questions. End of discussion.
5. What ever Abby says, goes. Period.
6. When she asks for Caf-Pow, give them to her, but use fruit punch every once and a while, all that caffeine isn't good for the baby's health.
7. Let her wear her boots. You're not going to win, just let her wear the damn things.
8. If she wants to sleep in the "boxed sofa bed" together, do it, no matter how squished things will be, just do it.
9. Don't make faces at Martin when Abby asks if he wants to feel the baby kick. She has a right to have "male friends". Get over it.
10. Don't make her upset around Gibbs. That will earn you the role of Tony, or in other words, Gibb's slapping bag.
11. Don't complain when she wants something NOW. Just do it. It'll save the hassel for both of you.
12. Try not to faint when you find out that it's going to be twins; a boy and a girl.
13. At least pretend to be interested in picking out clothes for your new children.
14. She gets dibbs on naming your daughter; Claire Shannon Scuito-McGee, so that means that you get to name your son; Tyler Jackson Scuito-McGee
15. When friends and family ask the two of you if you're nervous about raising twins, lie. It may be rough in the beginning, but it's well worth it.
16. Everyone on the team will be their family. Make sure you explain that very carefully when they grow up.
17. No, you are not allowed to show Tyler your latest role-playing game when he gets older; we don't need a Jr. Elflord around.
18. Try not to stutter all the time; it's not the best example for your kids.
19. Yes, you are going to have to change diapers, get over it.
20. Never forget to tell all of them you love them.
Ok so I did McAbby since some of you suggested it. Next up is Jibbs :O I can only imagine the rules Jenny will have. Hehe
