Every inch of her aches in some way or another. No limb is without some bruise or scrape marring once impeccable skin but the aesthetics are the very last thing on the Jedi's mind at the moment. Stepping aboard the enormous Republic ship "The Resolute" brings nothing but sheer, unadultered relief despite there being no welcome party to greet them. That doesn't matter, simply being aboard means the ordeal is over, that her men are safe once more and she see that they're treated by the medical droids here. Not one of them is unhurt, ten clones and a Jedi Knight and not one of them made it out without a scrape. "Captain, take everyone to the medbay and see that they're treated. Then get some rest, I'll check in on all of you later." The Captain in question has already released his head from the mandatory helmet and nods once, muttering a quiet, "yes General." None of them were prepared for this… It was supposed to be a simple mission - one any of them could do in their sleep! Protect the Senator then escort him home. She saw red when Master Windu gave her the task. It was an insult! She and her clones are better than this.
So much for that.
The clones vanish around the corner of the sterile hallway, some limping and others leaning on their brothers for support and she's glad to see them go. She feels like a damned nerf-herder! If she'd just sensed what the bastard was planning… They lost Fives in the crossfire because of her apparent inability to sense trouble. What kind of a Jedi is she?! Sagging back against the wall, the woman steals a moment to sigh and clear her mind. She wanted to be a Knight for so long and now… Now, perhaps while they fight the Senator's war for them, Knighthood is not all it's cracked up to be. Aren't they supposed to be peacekeepers? That's what they preach, yet they're out on the front lines like soldiers… Are they both? Is it possible to be both? When they're back on Coruscant, she should speak with Master Yoda… He'll know the answers she seeks.
A sudden spark of nervousness alights inside her chest, one she expected to feel the moment she stepped aboard. She felt his presence the moment the Council informed her he was coming… Can he feel her too? Has he felt her all this time? He's coming. It's surprising he's managed to hold off this long… Almost a miracle really. Perhaps Obi-Wan caught him in conversation, or Ahsoka wouldn't leave his side… Whatever the answer, she's glad he's on his way now. The sooner he is here the sooner… The sooner she can allow herself to think about… It.
It takes a lot of conscious effort to keep her mind on other things, but she must do it. She desperately wishes to think about it but if she does he'll hear her and then he'll know. Though there's certainly temptation to take such a route – the easier route – she can't. It wouldn't be fair. He deserves to hear it from her lips, not sense it through some errant thought when they aren't even face to face. No, she'll do this the difficult way, the normal way. Even if the mere thought of it makes her pounding heart wish for nothing more than to crash out of her chest, onto the cold floor by her feet.
She can do this! She is a Jedi Knight, a General of the Republic's army! She can face Anakin Skywalker and tell him what she must.
Less than a moment later, the man in question rounds the opposite corner to the one the clones stepped around and her heart leaps for much different reasons… Despite how he irritates her or drives her halfway to insanity, he is her beloved and she's missed him… These past months have been near unendurable without him by her side – their one brief night together before she was sent off to Felucia wasn't enough. Sensing him from halfway across the Galaxy wasn't enough, especially when she felt him hurting, injured in some battle or another. She never longed for anything more than to be with him then… To make sure he was alright, to smack him on the head for being stupid enough to get hurt.
And yet all that is forgotten when he grins at her… That dashing smile she's missed so terribly wipes away any other thought than being in his arms. Sensing her thoughts, he moves faster, running toward her and Padme doesn't waste another moment in doing the same, meeting him halfway. As soon as she's close enough, Anakin's strong arms wrap themselves around her, pulling her to him and she feels herself being spun. Unable to stop it, delighted laughter flies free from her lips, filling the air surrounding the. " I've missed you so much!" Her mind all but howls to him and the sentiment is echoed back from his own every bit as frantically while Anakin carefully sets her back down onto her feet, never once freeing her from his hold. There's barely a moment to breathe before his lips are on hers and it's everything she's desperately needed these past few months. They're relentless with each other, tongues mating wetly as her hand slips into his hair, tugging on the wavy locks tightly with a moan. This is what she needs… And so does he. She can feels the hot burn of arousal waking within him and it triggers her own powerfully – but they can't. Not now, not out here in the open. Anyone could walk by and see them.
With that in mind, the Jedi tears her lips from his and ignores his frustrated groan –so childish – and instead moves two hands to stroke his cheeks softly. He's here… It hardly feels real… The thought almost drives her to kiss him all over again but unlike her lover, Padme has at least some scrap of self-control. "Thank you," she whispers, dropping her gaze to the floor, "for coming for us, I mean. We all would have died out there if you hadn't…" When she gets her hands on the bastard Tardun… After what he did, he should be strung up!
She hears him sigh, "We should have seen it coming, I rarely agree with your Master, but Senator Tardun is a serpent… When he asked for Jedi and clone protection we should have said no." A moment later, in her mind she hears him again, "It wasn't your fault." He knows her well… Or he heard her thoughts. Regardless, his words, both vocal and mental draw Padme's gaze back to his own as her hands fall to rest on his chest. How can he say that? Of course it's her fault! Fives is dead because of her… Because she couldn't sense the Senator's deception.
"We were ambushed," she grasps the dark leather of his tabard as the words slip through her lips. He knows well what happened but she needs to… She needs to say it out loud. The sleemo Senator Tardun led them into a Separatist death trap and vanished. When this war is over she'll hunt him down herself for this. "I can't believe the Separatists are using the ploy of peace talks to lure us into traps now. They've sunk too low." Are they truly so desperate to gain any sort of leverage that they'll use such underhand tactics to win? If this is how they handle warfare she shudders to imagine what they'd do to the Republic if Dooku were to get his hands on it. As terribly as she hates the fighting and of late has been questioning the Jedi's place in this war, keeping Dooku and his influence out of the Republic is why they must fight… It's their duty to protect what little good is left in this Galaxy.
Another sigh escapes Anakin's lips and she feels just how tired he is. He isn't as protective of the Republic and democracy as she is, only the Chancellor… His dear friend. He hears her bitter thought but doesn't comment, sick of the same fight they endure over and over again with no resolution in sight. For that, she's grateful. She's tired too, but her fire burns still. The Separatists won't take that too. With a small tug, he has her pressed against his chest and she's happy to settle into him. The powerful thud of his heartbeat against her cheek is the most beautiful music she's ever heard; the only reassurance she needs in this Galaxy. Anakin's chin rests on her head and the moment offers such peace that she's helpless to it. She hasn't felt peace in several long months and she bets he has not either.
Unfortunately, out in the open like this, such peace is doomed to destruction in one way or another so after a few blissful moments of quiet, Padme pulls back to once again look him in the eye. Anyone could see them out there like this and she's sure nobody is simple enough to believe such an embrace is shared between mere friends. He chuckles lowly when her thoughts drift over into his own mind and releases her from the cage of his arms with surprisingly little resistance. "Let them see." She hears him in her own mind and rolls her eyes. He'd have them live how they do out in the open for everyone to see… There's a fine line between rebellion and stupidity. "You're a Knight now, who cares if they know?"
She cares! Just because she's not a Padawan anymore doesn't make what they… Are any less against the code. Why doesn't he understand that? Or, more accurately, why doesn't he care about that? "I am not being expelled from the Order just for you Skywalker, where are your quarters?" Her mind whispers back and in retaliation he merely rolls his eyes. But he does as she asks and begins walking, albeit silently, through the abandoned hallways. She's surprised Ahsoka hasn't come bounding out of nowhere to see her. The girl has become rather good at ruining their moments these days. She suspects it's become a game to Anakin's Padawan. This makes him chuckle with a shake of his head… The bond between those is really rather wonderful, it gives her hope that… Maybe he'll be just as good with…
Stop it! Anakin throws her an odd look, which she merely smiles away and slips her hand into his own to appease him. She can't slip up like that… Sometimes he can be a little on the slower side where logic is concerned but he's not an idiot. Any more thoughts like that and he'll figure it out. To fill the silence, she hears him say, "Ahsoka lost a bet to Rex. She's scrubbing the every helmet aboard for the rest of the evening." There is no holding back her laughter at the girl's misfortune; she must be the first person in the Galaxy to actually lose a bet to Rex…
"So I can expect her to be rather irritated first thing in the morning?"
"Oh, you can count on it."
Such conversations fill their walk to his quarters and it makes for a great distraction from what her mind wishes was the topic. She need only wait a little longer… Not thinking about any of this around him has been torture pure and simple. Once again she feels envious of other people whose minds belong only to themselves and nobody else… Yet such people could only dream of feeling so connected to the one they love as she does daily. Would she ever truly want to lose this connection they share for a little peace?
There is no answer to such a question, at least not one she can find. It seems to be different every day.
It isn't until he allows her to step past the sliding door and inside his quarters that at last the sensation of true safety washes over the Jedi. There's no danger in here, no risk of being caught or overheard… Finally they're free to truly give into one another and she can at last tell him… Everything. With the touch of two buttons the door is locked and anything outside of the room is gone, forgotten entirely by the Jedi lovers who've waited much too long for this reunion. Anakin sinks down onto the edge of the bed and lifts two hands up, onto her waist to draw her closer and she goes to him willingly. Being in his presence again is intoxicating, freeing and utterly terrifying.
Now, she must tell him now. There's no other choice or path to choose. There'll be no better time than this for such a thing and any delay on her part would be nothing short of cowardice. "Ani…" She begins quietly, speaking vocally to him rather than merely sending her thoughts to him for such a revelation. It's only fair that he hear it out loud. What she carries within her is Galaxy shifting. Their lives shall never be the same again after this moment. She's no longer merely a Jedi Knight, a General of the Republic's army, a warrior at war, a peacekeeper, Anakin's lover… She's so much more than that because of this, and yet somehow what she cradles within her shall make her less than all those titles too. This could spell the end of everything and the beginning of something else entirely, or it'll pass over like a long night until a new dawn awakens and all that was born in the darkness must be kept there, for both their sakes. "I'm pregnant."
She watches his eyes widen for a moment before he glances away, releasing a deep, shuddering breath as he lets go of her waist and rises promptly from the bed, pushing past her for a step or two. She wasn't sure how he'd react to such a revelation when she found out for herself. He could either hate this or love it… Anakin has always been the master of unpredictability. Even now, she who has exclusive access to his mind can sense only a whirlwind of emotions from him. There is some happiness at least, but also, fear and shock… It's impossible to tell which the dominant of them is.
His back is turned to her for a moment, denying her the expression upon his face. The storm in his chest does not quieten even a little, effectively locking blocking the from the response she craves from him about her – their news. He isn't happy… He can't be, or else he'd say something… Anything. Perhaps he's angry. Isn't it her fault for missing her pill? For forgetting about the risk in the heat of their reunion those months ago… "Anakin, I –" But there's no opportunity to speak further as the Jedi Knight's body spins quickly, so his gaze rests upon her again and at last the cyclone of battling feelings clears as his eyes rest on her stomach for a long moment. For a moment there's no fear, no shock just… Just happiness.
His smile blossoms first, followed quickly by laughter laced with elation and like everything with Anakin, the change comes so suddenly that she has no chance to react. "That… This… That's wonderful…" He's happy. He's actually happy about this… There's no denying it. He's not trying to hide it, she feels it seep out of him and attempt to envelope her too though she doesn't let it though she wants to terribly. One of them has to be rational and it's never been him. It only takes one stride for him to draw close to her again and though he offers her an excited embrace but Padme steps back. She can't be swept away by his emotions, not this time.
"Are you sure?" It's a ridiculous question; of course he's sure… She can hear his thoughts as if they're her own and there's no hiding the delight he feels – she wouldn't be surprised if the Council can feel it all the way back in the Temple! She can see it… What he imagines in his mind's eye… He's picturing himself with a little boy – their boy – playing in the halls of a house, running through the rooms in some form of chase only with little model star ships in hand… It's a beautiful dream… One she wants as badly as he does but… But they can't… It's not going to…
Can he feel the terror tearing its way through her body? If he does, he says nothing about it which merely serves to irritate her. He must know how she feels right now! She can see what he's imagining, so why is he ignoring her feelings? "You know what's going to happen, don't you?" That dream, the family life he's imaging… They can't have it. No Jedi raise their own offspring. "The baby – it's – they're gonna have a high midichlorian count, any child of yours will… The council will want to take them." She pauses, glancing up at the ceiling, attempting to fight back the sudden assault of tears on her eyes. The last thing she needs is him realizing she's on the verge of crying. She's only known about the little one growing inside her for a few weeks and yet she still… It's nothing she's ever felt before. She's always been desired, wanted – loved even but now it's different. She's needed. Valued in the purest of ways… Never once before this has the thought of motherhood entered her mind, she hadn't ever dreamed it would be a path she'd take, but now she is on this path, she never wishes to look back.
"We'll have to give the baby up if we want to remain in the Order." She continues quickly, not giving him a chance to speak. It's an impossible decision laid out before them… The Order is all she's ever known, it's her life. He may have known a life before the Jedi as a boy but that is a luxury not afforded to her. This baby could change that, forever. "If we stay… We won't be parents Ani, I'll be sent away to have the baby then be expected to hand it over to the Creshe Master and never look back. The same will be expected of you. Could you live like that Anakin?" She needs to know… Is that a life he could stomach? Watching their baby, the product of their love, grow up from afar, and being nothing to the little one other than a Knight of the Order or perhaps merely a face in the halls. She isn't sure she ever could.
When he reaches for her again and this time, she lets him. His hands land on her shoulders, grasping her there tightly and his lips thin. The worry she felt earlier from him, the fear, she can sense it rapidly drowning the happiness he felt before and taking its place in his heart. He hasn't considered any of this. To be fair, he hasn't had as long to think about this as she has… Well, he's thinking now and she hopes he thinks fast. "That's not going to happen." He swears, and she watches the male lump in his throat bob as he swallows. "We'll figure something out, I promise you." She wants to believe him, but how can she? How can any of this turn out alright? This baby could destroy everything… Or it could be the most beautiful blessing either of them have ever been given. Anakin sends a soothing touch through the Force and she allows it to wash over her, leaning further into him. His arms come around her once more and despite everything she relaxes in his embrace. "Everything will be alright." He whispers into her hair before pressing a soft kiss there. "Our baby," something flutters in her stomach at those words coming from him, "belongs with us. Nothing's going to come between us, I swear it."
"Force help us." She whispers into his mind and the only response she receives is his arms tightening around her.
