It was 1:30 a.m. Dean was still on the hard concrete ground, his knees red and pulsing with pain. The cold air snaked its way through layers of clothing and beat against his numb face, making him shiver ever so often but could barley feel it, he could barley feel anything. He finally managed to talk himself into standing.

Dean starting singing, of all things to do he sang REO speed wagon can't fight this feeling. Well it wasn't really singing more of half choking out the words in between tearless sobs, and half humming the general tune. When he had had his fill of the song he hated but secretly loved, he stood silently for a second. Then he swung around to violently kick the tree next to him, with extreme force which twisted his ankle and did little damage to the tree and failed to make him feel better.

This was the ritual that plagued Dean and Cas' arguments, bitter empty sadness to fuming anger. If the argument was bad like this one, a song did tend to appear in-between stages. Dean wiped the tears from his face and started walking towards the house. He was angry, angry at Sam for what he said, angry at his friends for being so boring it let his mind wonder in the first place, he was angry at Cas for making him feel this way. But the truth was the only person he was angry at was himself.

Dean stormed through the front door to his house not forgetting to give it an almighty slam. This acted as a warning to everyone of his arrival. Anna and Sam caught sight of the fuming irate Dean, they knew full well what happened, well not the extent that it ended with, but they knew enough to have to pretend they didn't.

"Hey Dean, you okay?" Anna asked trying to sound as casual as she could.

Anna knew the answer Dean was sad and angry, this time though Dean looked broken and shattered. Anyone that just looked at Dean could see that so it made Anna's question even more stupid.

"Piss off Anna." Dean shouted to her as he continued walking towards the stairs, without looking at them.

Sam got of the stool and went towards Dean, despite Anna placing her hand on his arm and shaking her head as a sign of protest, Sam pulled himself away from her determined to say his piece.

"Hey Dean, I'm sorry about…" Sam didn't get to finish his half hearted apology. Dean had swung around grabbed Sam by the collar and slammed him against the wall. Before Sam knew what was happening, his back was pounding from the force Dean used. Dean looked Sam up and down; he hated what he saw, the boy that destroyed his life. Of course he of half believed this but his anger was so high he would blame anyone at this point.

Dean didn't want to look at his little brother anymore; if he did he would have punched him. So Dean violently shoved Sam to the side, out of his sight and walked in the other direction, and up the stairs. At this point everyone except Chuck and Becky were gathered; there was a reason none of them were in the basement with them.

Sam got up and dusted himself off, now angry he couldn't understand why Dean was being such a jerk, he couldn't understand his friends keeping his secret and he couldn't understand how no one has plucked up the courage to actually tell him. Sam chased after him and stood on the foot of the stairs.

"Look Dean I'm sorry okay, but you fucked up not me." Dean stopped climbing the stairs, not wanting to turn; he just wanted to go to bed.

"You had the chance tonight to set it straight, but you didn't and that, that's on you." Dean slowly turned eyes wide and cheeks red, Dean was embarrassed this was coming out in front of his friends, but mostly he was angry at Sam's lack of tact. Dean started walking towards Sam keeping eye contact. As if daring him to talk more Dean unfortunately knew from experience Sam was good at dares. So he continued; "You're the one that refuses to acknowledge the obvious"

Dean suddenly aware that everyone, except the two still downstairs, was watching and he became a little nervous they were going to find out.

"Shut up Sammy" Dean warned Sam, though it was more of a plea. He did so whilst fighting to keep the tears at bay. They were tears of sadness, loss, anger and they were tears that recognized the fact that Sam was right. Sam persisted.

"You're the one that is blind to what's right in front of you. Every one else can see it why can't you?" Sam instantly regretted telling Dean all his friends knew his deepest secret the second he saw Dean's face. It was shook, embarrassment, anger and betrayal all rolled into one look in his eye. Dean stopped dead and looked around at the on looking faces; no one could hold his gaze, not even Sam.

Dean bit his lips trying not to shout and scream like he so desperately wanted; he didn't have the energy for that. So Dean dipped his head taking in all the information.

He let out one word, it cut deep into everyone. It was spat with a feeling of so much betrayal and pain; it brought a tear to Sam's eye. Making Sam wish he could turn back time and stop himself from opening his mouth "Nice."

Dean's hands became fists and his sadness once again turned to seething anger. Dean screamed all the pain out, not that the pain or emptiness he felt inside him went, and Dean kicked the barrister, just like the tree and just tree the tree did nothing to make him feel better.

"Dean, we did it for you." Anna spoke trying to sound calm as she approached the foot of the stairs to join Sam. Dean didn't believe the words that were coming out of her mouth.

"No, no you did it for yourselves. Did any of you think it would do me good just to talk about it, to someone, to anyone? Just to say the words out loud; that I, Cas, that. I fucking love Castiel Novak! Now, he's gone, he's left. That's on your head, yours, I could have been happy. But no, you all pretended it wasn't real, what were you ashamed that big tough guy Dean Winchester is a fucking homo!"

It wasn't an ideal way to do it but Dean just admitted that he was gay and wanted Cas, that he loved him. Despite the situation being an emotional train wreck, all his friends were slightly ecstatic that Dean finally said it, but that soon disappeared by the time Dean had finished. Gabriel stepped forward to try and defend his and the others actions. They weren't ashamed of Dean, they could never be.

"It's not..."

"Save it Gabe, I really don't want to hear it, you guys make me sick." With that Dean scanned over their faces, with such hatred in his eyes everyone could feel it.

Dean turned to finally reach his room, to no doubt cry. Everyone was stunned and lost for words. Anna turned to Sam and shot him the dirtiest look she could before silently sitting back on the stool.

There was one voice that pierced through the heavy silence, "He's not so tough." Uriel mumbled looking at the place Dean was just standing, as if that was all he heard from Dean.

There was no more movement; no more sound amongst them, they all felt terrible. Maybe they had made the wrong decision keeping it quite. They were all truly, way too drunk for this.