A/N: JAMBO! Sorry, I really wasn't planning to update this story, but then I remembered that I had said that I was going to post more chapters. So here you go! Oh, and Rory Williams is cool. And so are bowties, but I think sombreros are cool, so you should take my opinion with a grain of salt.

Disclaimer: I don't own Calvin and Hobbes, Bill Watterson does, nor do I own Twilight or Doctor Who, Stephanie Meyer and the BBC own them, respectively.

There was a yell of pain, belonging to one, namely Hobbes "Opposable Thumbs" Tiger. His self proclaimed nickname made him unique - or so he thought. But more on that later. Let us get back to the yell of pain and what possibly might have induced it.

"You just had to bring that bag of marshmallows along, didn't you?" Hobbes muttered from the ground. Calvin was standing in front of him, with a stunned expression.

"I thought cats landed on their feet!" he said, dumbfounded.

The afore mentioned duo were at the base of the treehouse - the one that played host to various G.R.O.S.S meetings.

See, what happened was that Hobbes had shimmied up the tree, and was waiting in the treehouse for Calvin to turn up so that he could be taunted. The G.R.O.S.S password was a sacred verse, and no dared mock it, save for Calvin. While he was waiting, he decided to arrange the paper hat on his head so that it made him look all business-like. Then, a heavenly smell wafted up. Hobbes' ears and perked up immediately. That wondrous scent could only be one thing - marshmallows. Ah, such bliss, the kind that only be induced by stuffing one's face with sugary candy.

The excited tiger became over-excited. Unable to hold back anymore, he made a leap of faith - right from the top of a tree. As he plummeted towards the ground, he thought of the politics of Bolivia, a truly concerning situation - at least, until he landed on the ground.

"OWWWW!"

And that is the backstory of the yell of pain. Now let us return to the situation we first came across at the beginning of this story.

"I though cats landed on their feet!" said Calvin.

"Oof. So much for myth," Hobbes grumbled. "I thought so too, until you decided to throw me off that cliff that time we went camping."

"Hey!" Calvin protested. "It was all in the name of science! You should be proud for having contributed to such a crucial experiment!"

"Remind me what happened in the end, will you?"

"Dad got mad at us for destroying his and Mom's tent and grounded us for a week when we got back home."

Having made his point, Hobbes pushed himself up and dusted himself off. Then he did a few stretches until he was sure he was not going to be paralyzed. "So, why'd you bring the bag along anyway? Knowing you, I bet we're not going to eat them."

Calvin glared at him. "When did you look into our top secret files!?" he demanded.

Hobbes rolled his eyes. "Calvin, I'm the only other member of G.R.O.S.S."

"For all I know, you could be a spy! And how dare you suggest that our club is one that does not have more than 50 people hanging on to our every word wanting to know when they will get the chance to humiliate our enemy?"

"You mean Susie?"

"SACRILEGE! YOU HAVE REFERRED TO THE ENEMY BY NAME! FOR THIS, YOU SHALL BE DEMOTED TO EQUIPMENT MANAGER! AND EVEN THAT IS TOO GOOD FOR YOU!"

"Me!?" Hobbes said angrily. "I outrank you! You can't give me demerits! As Club Secretary General, I hereby demote you to JANITOR!"

"THAT DOES IT!" Calvin yelled. He ripped open the bag of marshmallows, picked one up and hurled it at Hobbes.

"THAT'S AN INSULT!" Hobbes snatched the bag from Calvin, took hold of several marshmallows and threw them at Calvin. Pretty soon, they were engaged in all-out war, shouting things like "TRAITORS GALORE!", "YOU'RE WORSE THAN TWILIGHT!", "THE ELEVENTH DOCTOR'S BOWTIE IS COOLER THAN YOU!" and "YOU'RE LAMER THAN RORY WILLIAMS!"

And lots more Doctor Who-style insults. One of my favourite ones was, "THE NESTENE CONSCIOUSNESS IS SMARTER THAN YOU!"

Anyway, it went on like this for a while until Susie walked by and saw Calvin and his stuffed tiger, Hobbes covered with a pile of white and pink - literally. And for some reason, the marshmallow bag that they were pulling marshmallows out of was always full.

"I don't know what's weirder," she said. "The fact that you're having a marshmallow war or that your Doctor Who insults are the reason the Master refused to regenerate."

Calvin and Hobbes froze and stared after her. Susie simply grinned, waved and walked off.

THE END