Change

She enters the Academy when she is eight years old. In a couple of years her brother joins her, and in a few more years, her sister as well. It is when all the children are at school that Father begins to change. When they're home for the school holidays, he is practically manic with joy, rushing to-and-fro, offering to take them on outings, give them presents. Zeta is caught up in his infectious excitement, but it fills her with a sense of unease as well. She learns later that when they're at school, he spends most of his time in his study with the door shut, even though he doesn't seem to be working on anything.

When Zeta is about fourteen, Father announces at dinner that he's going back to school to earn the doctorate he never completed. For some reason Zeta's nervous. She swallows a mouthful of food with some difficulty and tries to smile. He winks at her and her siblings. "Perhaps I'll see you all between classes," he says. Zeta hopes this is true, because his eyes are full of that faraway look that scares her.

She tries to find him at school. The Academy is a massive place, and she barely even sees her brother and sister, but she tries. Sometimes she stands at the edge of one of the elevated walkways and looks off into the distance. From this perch, she can see the Propulsion Trains gliding along the surface of the great glass dome, and luxury hover-vehicles zooming still higher. She sees thousands of students and professors in the colors of their Order, rushing from building to building. But hard as she looks, she never spots her father amongst the throng. She wants to see him hurrying to class in an ornate orange robe. She wants to see him bent on something close to home. But eventually she stops looking, too caught up in the rush of responsibility that comes with being a student to worry about anything else.