Soooo Taylor Swift's Back to December helped me write this chapter. Hence the title..
Enjoy xoxo


I watched her step out of her black SUV. I felt like a creep watching from the dark entrance, but what the fuck did I care? The embarrassment had just started to wear off from the wedding, a whole year it took for these people backstage to stop giving me sympathetic looks every time I passed them. She carried their kid on her hip and quickly made her way inside. Right passed me, as usual, I'm invisible. The kids cute, I guess. Our kid would've come out cuter.

What killed me was how happy she looked all the time now and I can't help but think to myself where the fuck did I go wrong with her? This was her first time visiting Dean at work since she gave birth, last time I saw her she was five months pregnant and I made sure I didn't see her at all. I'm sure she did the same.

"Let's go find your daddy!" I hear her excitedly tell her son. The kid laughs in excitement at the word 'daddy' and in that moment I'm in a complete rage. All those feelings come rushing back from my wedding day. I detest the entire existence of Dean Ambrose. I feel it's just best that I keep to myself tonight before that kid ends up of fatherless. Fucking Ambrose.

Your guard is up and I know why.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

I felt like this day had taken forever. I had waited all morning for this moment, waiting to see her coming down that aisle to me. With a blink of an eye, there she was my gorgeous wife to be standing directly in front of me. She looked absolutely flawless in her dress. I had to blink a few times to get the burning sensation of tears out of my sockets. This woman was the love of my life and no one could get in the way. We, as she had put it many times, were meant to be. I practically snatched her from her father; I couldn't wait for this moment. "I love you" I whispered to her.

"I love you too" she said back to me with a small smile.

She sounded different; the words didn't sound quite the same as her past 'I love you'. Eh, it's just my nerves- what do I know?

The ceremony felt like it lasted an eternity. An eternity well worth it if I was standing next to this woman. She looked over at me and whispered a few words that made my heart into a puddle of goo. The priest knocked me out of my thoughts as he led us to stand in front of him, and faced each other. She looked so distracted, what's going on through your mind, baby girl? I shake off the thoughts again and look back into the group of family and friends as the priest talks about the sanctity of the vows. Wait a minute. Is that, Ambrose? What's he doing here? Last I heard, Kaitlyn said he hadn't heard from him. Ugh that smug face, I can't stand that guy. He's not ruining my day, I'm glad he's here actually, so he can watch me marry his girl. My girl, I mean.

I grab the ring from the priest's hand and hear someone clearing their throat. I look around the crowd one more time. Something just doesn't feel right. From the corner of my eye I see someone stand up and everything goes black...

Black...

Next thing I know I'm in the bridal suite with Kaitlyn, watching her bawl her eyes out. She couldn't stop herself from crying and here I am, at a lost for fucking words. "Why are you crying?" I finally manage to get out. My hands were balled up in fists, and I really just wanted to rip Ambrose limb from limb. "Tell me why you're crying? You're crying because he ruined the day? He didn't ruin it..." I began. However, I was quickly cut off by her attempting to speak through her sobs.

"I love him. I love him more than you could ever possibly imagine, Randy" she let out. Her make up running down her perfect face. The sad thing is, even with her make up a complete mess, and the words she was spewing, she was still completely flawless to me.

I felt like my heart was just ripped out of my ass. What a shitty, shitty feeling. We just spent months and months planning this whole big... fucking lie. I couldn't really grasp what she was saying at first. She loved him? This couldn't be. I think I just heard wrong. "Baby, you love me... Don't you?" I asked. Of course, now I doubt the entire existence of this relationship.

Her silence is what hurt the most. It felt like hours were going by, but in reality it was just seconds. Still no answer.

"I love you, Kaitlyn. Don't do this to me, please" I begged. I sound like an imbecile, begging for this girl to just stay with me at whatever costs. Was I really doing this? I needed a drink. I grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniels and cracked it open. I was so numb, I couldn't taste the charcoal wood flavor as I gulped it down. I wiped my mouth and let the fluid burn down my insides. She was still crying, I hate the sound of her crying. I can hear Ambrose outside and it takes everything in me to just stay focused on Kaitlyn. My Kaitlyn.

I pull a chair over and sit in front of her. Her once beautiful dress all crinkled and ruined. I could hear AJ flipping out in the hallway, Roman trying to calm everyone down. Kaitlyn's parents and mine. Everyone talking and I just want everyone to shut the fuck up! The more the yelling continues the harder she cries. Enraged, I walk over and swing the door open. "Just shut the fuck up!" I yell, completely frustrated and slam the door. I take a deep breath and head back to where I was sitting. I softly lift her face to look up at me. I watch her eyes scan everywhere but at me. "Kaitlyn, we can't stay and hide in here all day." I remind her. My voice oddly soft, somehow.

Her eyes finally fall on mine and I just know. She may not be staying here, but I certainly am. My eyes start burning and I get up to turn away from her. My heart is in the most unimaginable pain. "I - I guess.. I don't know" I somehow manage to choke out as I turn back to her. "If you're going to leave me, I can't , I can't watch you leave me and walk out into his arms." I tell her. Really hoping somewhere deep down inside her, she realizes how much of a piece of shit he is and takes my hand and drags me down the aisle in over dramatic fashion.

I take one good long look at her, just in case it's my last time. My eyes taking in every perfect feature of hers. I turn and head into the bathroom and shut the door. I listen carefully and hear absolutely no movement whatsoever. She's staying, thank god. I swing the door open but the room is empty.

Fucking empty. Everything is quiet. She's gone.

How's life? Tell me how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while.
You've been good, busier than ever,
We small talk, work and the weather.

I was so lost in my fucking thoughts about that shit day, I didn't even notice her sitting in the cafeteria with her son. She was watched the match on the monitor and fed him at the same time. Of course, she is sitting closest to the food. I figured I'd just grab this food real quick and get the fuck out of here before we laid eyes on each other. As my luck would have it, her kid throws his rattle thing in my direction and I feel more than obligated to pick it up. I place it on the table and begin walking out.

"..Randy.." She calls.

And that's all it took, my legs involuntarily spin me back in her direction. "What's up?" I give her a nod, my voice is cold. "Long time no see, huh?"

She nods and stands up from her seat coming towards me. Suddenly, her arms are wrapped tightly around me and I'm just standing there. If I hug her back, I'll never let her go, that I know for a fact. I inhale her scent and still can't believe we didn't get married that day. I can't take this, I unwrap her arms and push her off me. "What, Ambrose being mean again? Trying to find a rebound for a little bit and then leave them at the alter?"

I can tell my words stung her.

"I deserved that" she states calmly.

I nod, I'm really not sure what she wants or what that hug was for. I'm not suppose to be okay with standing a few feet from her with Ambrose's kid talking gibberish behind us. I run my hand over my face, I wish she would just say what she wants to say. I can tell she wants to say something.

"I just never got to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. Just when he came back it was a sign -" she started, but this is something I did not want to hear.

"Listen, shits over. I have no grudges against you or your kid. Who's kinda cute by the way. Just the baby's daddy. That's all he is to you, right?"

The look on her face made it clear she regretted apologizing. I wanted what I told her to get back to Ambrose. I can't wait for him to approach me.


Let's just start off by saying, I really love Randy. lol

uhhmm yeah, so of course he couldn't be nice at the end at all.. its Randy after all. :)

i need more ideas! shoot some at me :) thanks thanks thanks for your reviews ; they really really mean a lot

xoxo Dee