Still looking at her I backed up to the door to exit her room, I was very hesitant to have my back to her but she gave me her word, I had to trust her. Turning around and walking out I took one last look at her before going to my room. She didn't move, I couldn't tell anything from her body language. She curled up into a ball, I closed the door. As I walked along the halls to my room a couple doors down I felt hatred in my heart. I still couldn't get over the fact that she would do that to me, I started to growl and show my teeth as I kept walking having moles and others look at me a little frightened. I did my best to restrain myself before I entered my room.
Searching around the almost empty room with a bookshelf and a bed. I lifted a piece of till of the ground to reveal what I was retrieving. It was a little box with a letter beside it. I opened the letter and the box to see my gift and the words I wrote to her.
"Oh Cynder, you are my life and that's all I want, You mean everything to me and I want this feeling forever. It's been almost 3 years and I know that this is what our life has in store for us. I want us to be together forever, I don't want anyone else other than you. If you take me as your mate I will love you for all your life and It will never change. Cyn will you marry me?"
Just reading over what I said breaks my heart. Can I wait 3 more months to give it to her? I had bought it a couple of weeks ago because I knew she would love the necklace, it would look perfect on her, I even added a picture of our first kiss in it but now I don't know what to think. The more I look at this lovely beautiful gift for her makes me remember the others I have given to her.
I have literally given Cynder everything I could including, Armor, Choker, Dates, affection and most of all my heart but as far as I know, Cynder hasn't given me anything. I know it selfish to think but after so much how much more can I give her. When will she give me her heart in return for all I've done. I don't know what to do at this point. It's hurting my heart even more just thinking of giving this to her. I told her in the room she has my heart but now I'm doubting that. I looked around my room, It was always empty but this time it felt even more. I can't explain it anymore but I feel I don't love Cynder anymore. I looked out into the starry night And saw how open it was, I just want to jump to get away from it all.
What would happen now that I left? I told her so much just to get her not kill herself and after all of that I'm just going to walk away, I can't do it. I've been gone too long already now. I need to see how much she loves me, "It won't work, It won't work Spyro." Kept ringing in my ear as I walked back.
Cynder…
As he looked back at me there was nothing for me to look back at. I had failed him yet again, why does he keep trying. I have never given him anything but heartache and Guilt. I just don't know what to do, I feel so lost. Multiple times I've tried to end it so I won't have to suffer but he keeps bringing me back to reality. He's shown me more than a million times he loves me but I've yet to do it for him. Maybes my chance to do it now. There is so much he has given me I have to give something to him. I don't know what but I have to do something. I don't know what he hasn't done for me but now's my chance to do something for him.
I started to feel more relaxed and even a little joy. I don't know why but I can't lose this feeling tonight. I waited a couple minutes for him to come back. I was still curled up when he left so when I started to hear a door crack open I jolted my head up waiting to see him. As he entered my room we just stared at each other, we didn't speak for minutes waiting for the other to talk. I finally said something with mini tears in my eyes. "I'm so sorry Spyro, I'm sorry you had to stop me again, is there anything I can do for you please?" I waited for a response from him
"I don't know Cyn, I really don't know. I just don't know how much more I can keep doing for you not even getting something in return. It's been a couple weeks since we kissed, it's even been weeks since we hugged. You tell me why I should stay?"
"Wait what, no...no Spyro don't say that please just let me do something. Whatever it takes to let me do something please. I still want you."
"But how much, what will you do for me, I can't keep giving and giving but I'm not even getting your heart in return, you have been so scared you can't even see how much you're hurting me. Today I realized I lost more than an old friend and that is my only love." He started to walk away from the door to get out but I quickly jumped off my bed and Grabbed his tail with mine to stop him.
"No Spyro you haven't lost me, Please I'm begging you give me, what do I need to do. "
"Cyn If you really want to see what's going on then here." He put something in my paw and I didn't know what it was. "If you know the answer then you have an hour to come to the balcony or I'll be gone, you won't ever see me again." he sharply removed his tail from mine making mine hit the floor again, he walked out of my room and I looked into my paw, A box, and a letter.
When I looked at the closed door it just brought more tears to my eyes. "Am I really about to lose Spyro." I don't know what to do, it just kept crying my eyes out. I finally looked in my paw seeing the letter and the box, "I may as well see what it is" I said very hesitantly. Finding the strength to get up off the floor at sit down is just ta struggle. After finally resting on my back legs I decided to open the letter first. After undoing the envelope I pulled out two different notes. One said Read First and the other said Read Second.
I opened the letter seeing the words Spyro wrote,
"Oh Cynder, you are my life and that's all I want, You mean everything to me and I want this feeling forever. It's been almost 3 years and I know that this is what our life has in store for us. I want us to be together forever, I don't want anyone else other than you. If you take me as your mate I will love you for all your life and It will never change. Cyn will you marry me?"
Reading the whole letting from start to finish just made it even sadder for me, I couldn't believe I was about to lose him. Sulking away I looked in my other paw and saw the second letter. I knew this one wasn't going to be a light-hearted and more heartbreaking. Opening it up I had to read it.
"Cynder I don't know what to do. What needs to be done. I've tried so long and hard and every moment was worth it but when will it matter to you, When will you give me a sign saying I made you happy. Every day I keep giving and giving but it just doesn't seem to matter to you. I can't be with you if you don't make me feel appreciated for what I've done for you. I will always love you but maybe you were right. This won't work out, You tell what you really want."
I could no longer keep in all the tears I had reading this note everything he said and pointed out was true, all of it. I love him but it's clear that I haven't done one thing for him the whole time we have been together, I just couldn't get my eyes to open. Squirming around sulking away I felt something on my back. It was square in shape and flat. I realized it was the box that Spyro had given me. How could he keep giving to me when I haven't given anything to him. I guess I never told him, It's why I went to my room but I guess I got so excited that I never told him. I looked back at the box and needed to open it.
Opening it as fast as I can I looked inside pulling a necklace out with a heart shape design. I realized it was a locket so opening the heart up I saw before my eyes the picture of the two of us. Spyro and I on top of a mountain sharing our first kiss. I remember the day, the picnic, the moonlight, everything is still in my mind when that happened. I couldn't lose him, there's no way I could, I have to tell him what I have given him.
Spyro…
As I walked away from Cynders door again I started to feel something I never felt before. I looked back at Cynders closed door then kept walking forward. I felt the feeling more and more the farther I walked away from her, I think I finally know what I'm feeling and it's guilt. How could I have done this to her, Why did I do this to her? I had no reason behind what I've done, I have nothing but regret for what I've done. I told her to relax and wait for me to come back when I tell her she had one hour to come to me or I will leave. What have I done?
I want to go back to her but I just don't know what to do, maybe I should give her time to read and think or go back to her and say that everything was my fault, I wish I could turn back time and never had left for my room, I could have stayed in her room with her and comfort her more instead of me leaving and me questioning what has she done for me. She has gone through so much and now I'm about to abandon her, Oh my god what have I really done. I'll go to my balcony and wait for her, she needs me more than I need something for her.
Cynder…
I saw the clock and noticed time was running out, I needed to get to him before I never saw him again. He wanted an answer and I was going to give it to him. I get on my legs stumbling a bit from laying down for too long. I looked on the floor and saw the necklace he had given me, I needed to wear it so he would know I loved him. As I walked out of my room and slowly started making my way to Spyro's hoping he was still there. It didn't take long for me to get to his room because it was only a couple doors down. I and Spyro have slept together but we never talked about moving in together, maybe now after today, we could if our talk went well.
Opening his door carefully to not barge in. As the door fully opened I saw a faded shadow near the wall reflecting from the balcony, As I crept near the figure I knew it was Spyro but what shocked me was he was laying down and it sounded like he was crying.
"Oh god what have I done, what have I done I ca… can't lose her, I need her please world let me have her… I need Cynder, please. I need her more than my happiness I ne...need her than my joy, I need her more than… more than my own family because I want her to be my family. Please world please give me a chance to redeem myself please." He sounded so lost, so scared maybe this was my chance to give him three things he wants. As I walked closer to him, I was so silent Id understand if he didn't notice me so I laid beside him and covered him with my wing. I felt him shiver which made me think he's been crying for a while now. He carefully picked his head up and looked at me, tears in his eyes he had tried to really focus.
"Cyn...Cynder is that you, please tell me that you, please I needed to know. What happened today, was it all a dream, was it real I'm so scared, please answer me." It wasn't hard to know he was distressed.
"Yes Spyro it's me, it's alright, everything is my fault and I don't want you to blame yourself, all of your stress and anxiety is my fault and not yours, I'm so so sorry Spyro and I don't know why I did it, what I was thinking but it wasn't a dream it all happened and all because of me." He needed the truth and I gave it to him. It took time but his eyes were finally clearing up it seemed like he was able to see me.
"Cyn, please I don't get it, just tell me what I need to do to keep you here, wait...wait is that… the necklace I gave you?" I knew he would notice and I wanted him to.
"Yes, Spyro it's the necklace you gave me, Here I'll show you." As I opened the locket and the picture of us came up he looked down at it then glanced back at me. "You don't need to do anything, I will always be here, I will always be near you. I don't want it any other way."
"But, but Cyn what about this morning, that was the most scared you have made me my whole life, why did you try to do it? Why did you want to do it." He asked me the question of what I can give him so now I had to answer.
"Spyro I don't know the answer to why I tried to do it but I will answer a different question you asked me early. You asked me early what I could do for you, what I could give to you well the answer is it's something you gave to me and something others have noticed but not you, it's why I felt it didn't need a life with what I could give it."
"Wait for what, give a life to what, what are you talking, what did I give to you that you can give to me?
"Spyro it's been 3 weeks and It hurt every time people brought it up, how could he raise one with her, how could he give on to her. but I kept fighting till this morning but now I know it needs me and you, Spyro, I'm pregnant." I saw his eyes widen in shock it looked like he was about to pass out but I waved him back to reality. "Spyro can you please answer me?" he looked back at me still in shock but he finally said something.
"Cyn I'm so so so sorry I never noticed, sorry I was never there for you, sorry I have ever doubted myself, sorry I could never fight with you, please tell me why you want to raise your child with a person like me?"
"Spyro I need you, I need you more than anything. You created our child with me so it only right we are the parents of our child, Spyro you asked in your letter would I marry you will I'll answer now and say yes I will marry you, I would do anything in the world to marry you."
"You already have given me everything I need, You have given me you, your heart and our child, I don't need anything more from you. I love you."
"I love you to Spyro."
Alright, that's done, I gave everything I had to finish this chapter and story, I understand the ending is a little rushed but I finally found the only time I had to get this story done. And with that school and Hockey have drained me so I have no idea when my next story will be out, I'm really tired and did everything I could so I would like no negative comments but ones about criticism I'm ok with saying get this or that better or stuff like that. I hoped you all enjoyed.
