As Kirk continued pacing as he awaited being taken to the hearing he knew that experts would most likely be finished going through the Enterprise. They would have examined all recordings, all equipment, searched all rooms and areas, and reported on their findings. They would have talked with all the crew, with all those where the Enterprise had been docked at the start of the exchange of crew and all recording made there as well as where the ship was presently docked. He knew he had been observed and studied by the medical staff since the incident as well as since they had been at Command. All his records would be thoroughly gone through and everybody he had had contact with would have been talked with if not investigated. No matter what the outcome he knew his career was over as it was his voice that ordered an unarmed ship to be fired on. It had been his actions that had cost the lives of ten officers.
He sat still as he realized the one thing that was keeping him steady was a breathing routine that Spock had taught him so long ago. Just for a moment he wondered what Spock would think of his present predicament but then again heard the words he had said to him when he left the bridge after that tirade, "take my leave of you" which translated, at least in his mind, to the fact he was leaving him for good, no longer cared what happened to him. Yet there was still that tiny place in his mind where he had felt Spock's reassurance before. There had always been that subtle baritone voice reassuring him and helping him to remain calm. There was still that place but his savage tirade had left it empty, vacated by the one who had known him better than he knew himself. who had thought him to be a better person than he felt he was.
The thought of Spock thinking about him or caring about him again seemed to mock him as he remembered how he had been that last time. That last time that those on the panel had seen and heard when they reviewed all that had happened on the bridge. Even as he heard again what he had said to Spock he could not believe he could have ever said those words to him. He knew that he had not been himself to have ordered the firing on the freighter but to ever have said what he had said to Spock was, to him, totally unforgivable. The accusatory looks that some of the panel gave him had been nothing compared with the looks his bridge crew had given him and their reactions. Even the looks from the crew were nothing to what he saw when he looked in a mirror. All those looks could not erase the look he had seen on that face so many said never showed any emotion.
When he had entered the hearing room he saw not only the exchange crew there with Ward but also his five senior officers. A part of him was saddened by Spock not being there but he understood the importance he put on what he said and he had said "take my leave of you". With those words Spock had so clearly said he was leaving him.
One by one his bridge crew had had to stand and first identify themselves and then answer the same three questions and each of them answered without ever looking at him and with few but precise words. Chekov had been first and had looked right at him as he answered the three questions. "The Keptin is a good commanding officer. How he treated Mister Spock was because of the others, especially that lozhnyy drug who made him think as he did and act as he did. I want to go back to the Enterprise and Keptin Kirk although it will not be the Enterprise without Mister Spock."
Sulu followed with, "Captain Kirk is perhaps the best Captain the Federation has or will have. His reaction to Mister Spock's statement is beyond comprehension as that is not what he is like and goes against what they had. I am more than willing to go back to the Enterprise with James Kirk as the rightful captain after he has recovered from whatever caused such an uncharacteristic outburst." Despite the seriousness of the situation Kirk found himself smiling as he realized how by his choice of words Sulu had revealed how influenced by Spock he was.
Uhura's answers were precise, "Captain Kirk was the best captain with the highest standards for himself and his crew. His reaction to Mister Spock's statement was most atypical. I belong on the Enterprise with Captain Kirk as the captain of that ship and this command crew."
Scotty had looked from him to the panel as he said, "Ye'd find nay better commanding officer under normal circumstances but he has nay been himself since they came aboard. Till I saw it I could nay believe anything could make the captain say what he did to Spock. In time I may forgive him for what he did to Mister Spock but the Enterprise is my ship more than tis his so I would go back."
McCoy got to the stand and for a moment just stood looking at him and Kirk knew he would be looking at him as a patient and as a friend. "I have known Captain James Tiberius Kirk for longer than I care to remember as it makes me feel old but as a commanding officer he would rank as one of Starfleet's best. He is young enough to understand the ensigns and yet has the years of experience expected to be found only in a person much older. His reaction to what Spock said was more than totally out of character enough to be greatly concerned about but also something that will, for the rest of his life, no doubt plague Jim Kirk as they were two of the closest friends I have known. His reaction could have been expected from a person drugged or drunk but all my tests revealed no abnormalities that would have caused such a reaction. There is no other officer, now that Spock has gone, that I would willingly serve under or with than James T. Kirk."
They had again gone over how he had said he had heard nothing from the freighter after it had been hailed and several times and considered it a threat so had ordered it to be fired upon. Although that was what he had believed, what so many of the crew who had been there on the bridge said, it was not what the recordings showed. On the recordings they again clearly give no warning, no hailing, only the order to fire on that ship. They heard the voices of the crew protesting, heard him say he would do it himself, and heard the almost childlike joyous excitement in his voice as he said, "Direct hit." The voice analysis computer confirmed it was his voice.
Just looking at the seven senior officers making up the panel he could see doubt on six of the faces. Surprise, undeniably, yet also doubt. The seventh member of the panel seemed to be concentrating more on watching his five senior officers than on him or what was being said.
Thomas Ward was to speak next and Kirk was sure that his old friend could tell them what he was like, how he would not, could not, have done that. Ward looked at him once then looked at the panel, "I have known James Tiberius Kirk for more than ten years and while I cannot deny he is a great Captain I also cannot deny that he has always been one who not so much breaks the rules as bends them in order to win, to get whatever he wants, to reach his goals. I am sure you all know of how he has been the only one to pass the Kobayashi Maru test and how he manipulated the system so he could pass. He has always had a must win tendency and while I was surprised he did what he did I was not surprised when I heard him say he would make the freighter stop as it did appear to be exceeding the stated warp speed for that class of vessel. Although I was aware of what he would have done when he was younger I had no idea that, as the captain of a starship, he would react as he did."
Ward had paused for a moment to look at him and Kirk realized he knew that look, it was one he used to have when a plan of his was working, "I know when he was younger he would often state what he thought of the actions of others when they differed from his own but I would never have thought of him as capable of speaking to his First Officer, a man he had so often called a friend, in the manner he had, especially in front of others. No, as we all saw from the recording he did not speak to his First Officer but rather spoke at him in a manner not acceptable from any sane sentient being. After Mister Spock left I assumed the role as his First Officer and saw that he was in control of himself. He was, as you can see from what you have seen, fully aware of what he was saying and doing. We all saw that same look when he turned away from the screen, fully aware of what he had just done both when he attacked his First Officer and then the freighter."
There was a pause as Ward just looked at him, shook his head, then looked back at the panel, "Being the senior officer on the ship I immediately advised Command of the situation after he had fired upon the ship, confined Kirk to his quarters with a guard outside his door who would check on his well-being every two hours, and plotted a course back. It has been my honor to be the acting captain of the Enterprise since the attack on the freighter and would like it noted that I could stay on until such time as a replacement for Captain Kirk is found. I would like my name to be up for consideration."
As Ward walked back to his seat Kirk saw the look he gave him. A look Kirk remembered from the Academy days, a look that let him know that Ward had had this all planned out. He had been the senior officer who had suggested years ago to Command the idea of bridge crew exchanges. Ward who had got him so riled at Spock. No. There was no way Ward could do that. Bones had said all his medicals showed nothing abnormal.
Just before Ward sat down one on the panel said, "Captain Ward, please explain to us why you had Captain Kirk checked on every two hours. Were you concerned about his state of mind?"
Again Ward had looked at him and half-smiled, "Most decidedly after witnessing for myself not so much the uncalled for attack on the freighter but how he had reacted to a casual comment from his former friend and First Officer,"
"And just what about his reaction troubled you so much?"
"Well, I had heard so much about their loyalty to one another and friendship that I could not believe it what happened after witnessing that closeness between them for the first few days with then. I simply could not believe how Kirk reacted so venomously and violently to a very simple and basic question, especially since it was asked as a simple question asked by one Jim Kirk had so often said was closer than a friend and one he trusted more than he trusted himself."
"If you were close enough to hear the question was it the sort of question that would have been inappropriate for a First Officer to ask their Captain?"
"No," Ward turned and looked at him and in that look Kirk saw an old familiar look that let him know that somehow Ward had been behind how he had reacted. Those conversations they had had over a few drinks about friendship and how Ward had kept the drinks flowing while he also kept saying how a Vulcan could never be a friend as they had no real understanding of all the emotions and nuances that was involved in a real friendship. "It was not an inappropriate question and certainly nothing to have caused any rational person to react as he did, leaving the one who he had professed to be his closest and best friend. who also happened to be the best First Officer in the Fleet, no option but to leave the best ship and crew in the fleet."
"Indeed? We will discuss that later in private with the two of you as it may have a bearing on the request we received from Mister Spock regarding leaving Star Fleet after he finishes working on some tests."
While others may not have heard it or noticed it Kirk heard the shock coming from his five officers even from the easily twenty meters between them. He saw the totally stunned look on the faces of all of them except McCoy who only looked at him with pity and a shake of his head. His tangled, confused mind was still dealing with how well Thomas Ward had used him as he had that all he was aware of was the shock of the others and that Spock wanted to leave Star Fleet. The words some tests seemed odd as he knew that prior to the exchange crew coming aboard he had said all tests had been completed,
"Surely that just goes to prove how vindictive Kirk can be as it is known that the only place the Mister Spock considered his home was the Federation and Star Fleet in particular and specifically aboard the Enterprise as First Officer with James Kirk as his captain."
"I think we are all aware of,"
A young cadet walked into the hearing and up to the panel and said something which made the seven on the panel look at him and Kirk felt uncertain as to how to translate the look. "Captain Kirk, you and your bridge crew, will follow us while Captain Ward and the others present will wait here. Now, Captain."
In a small meeting room on a table before a young Vulcan with one of Spock's two talking stones. "You must be the Jim he talked of. Myself and two others from the Vulcan Embassy were authorized to remove all of Spock's personal items from his quarters aboard the starship Enterprise. I was then authorized by him to bring this directly to you. You must know what he said. You will access his words. I am to tell you that this talking stone is one that others may hear."
Kirk slowly walked over and took hold of the stone. Spock had said a secrete word was needed. He had also told him how of teh two only one was really personal and the other was one that could be heard by others once it had been accessed by the ones allowed to access it. There was no secret. He stopped and looked at the young Vulcan who seemed to understand him, "Hold it as you would his hand and say the word then hold it in your two hands as though protecting it and you and the rest of us will hear him."
Holding it tenderly between his hands he quietly said "T'hy'la." in a way the others could not hear the word. For a moment there was nothing then the familiar beloved baritone voice seemed to fill the room although he knew it was Spock's normal one-to-one speaking voice.
"Jim, if you are hearing this I will have left the ship. If what I suspect is correct there is every likelihood that I will also be dead. When Thomas Ward came aboard the ship I knew you had a connection with him that goes back to your days together at the Academy but I did not trust him. He is after the ship. I do not know for certain how he is going to do it but he will not hesitate to use you to get it. He has his senior crew on the bridge. He will attempt to find a way to get me off the ship. If ordered by you I will leave the ship and will leave this stone to you but take the other so that I may record for you what I find when I find the proof I seek. He will attempt to discredit you to get the ship. There is every likelihood that he will attempt to ensure that all the senior crew is also transferred off the ship for any number of reasons. I will expose those attempts as well. I will use and leave the other stone in my room at the Vulcan Embassy as I have advised the guards there that only you are allowed to enter my room but that the rest of the house, apart from it and the bedroom of my parents, is available to the senior crew of the Enterprise with the rest of the Enterprise's official crew free to use the common rooms. I will leave any further instructions with the young Vulcan page Sphin who delivered this to you Know that I will not let him take your ship nor ruin your career, Jim. Live long and prosper my t'hy'la,"
For a long time he just stood in silence with his eyes closed as what he had heard registered with in his mind. He opened his eyes when he felt Uhura's hand on his, "He has remained in contact with us, Sir. Well, he remained in contact and none of us have heard from him in two days. He did send a private message for you on my computer."
A/N Another weekend where I donated money to the winner of the lottery, sigh. Think positive - a new bookmarker so I have an excuse to buy a new book. . . . . Okay, thanks for reading. Take care and HAVE FUN.
