New at school

I don't own Ouran High school host club. I'm really sick right now, so I haven't really had a chance to right-I mean write! See, that's how sick I am.

Chapter 2-Tweedledee and Tweedledum

Recap-"The host club people said that 'as fellow partners in crime, it was my duty to carry you back here' or something like that." He looked at me and a beautiful smile spread across his fair skinned face.

"Thank you." he said, and I turned away, feeling my face heat up somewhat. I tried to hold back a smile, knowing that I was all awesome and humble at the moment.

"Eh," I said, trying to sound as though I didn't care. "It's no prob. You weren't that heavy anywa-"

"Oi, dogs!" said the twins. "It's time to fetch!"

I glared at the twins, for having totally sabotaging my cool, selfless monologue. But then I remembered that they were technically my masters or employers-or something of that nature-and sighed.

"So what do we have to 'fetch'?" I asked dryly, looking at them much of the same way. They smirked.

"Coffee," they said, but now that I listened closer, one's voice was somewhat deeper, I noticed. I stared at them curiously. "Oi, Haruhi's going to leave you behind."

I stared at them, wondering who this 'Haruhi' was, and then looked behind me, realizing that it was Fujioka-kun.

"Ah!" I shouted, before looking back to them and uttering a quick thanks before sprinting off to Haruhi's direction. It took a while before we left the building, it being so large and all. It was rather quiet also. We walked through the streets for a bit, me following Haruhi, not knowing at all where to go in this city. After walking for a while, I realized that we were in a commoner's area.

"Whoa," I said. "I've never been to this part of the city before." I looked around, waiting for a response from Haruhi. The place was not as bad as my older sister made it seem. It was not at all dirty or packed with loud people and old cars, like she said. It was rather deserted and only had a couple of cars if any, and next to none in people.

"It's totally not what I thought it would be like, eh Haruhi? Haruhi?" I looked around and realized that Haruhi was a couple of blocks away and going into a store. I sprinted over to him and quickly opened the door with a tiny chime of the bell. I looked around and found that Haruhi was looking at some strange boxes with brown grainy stuff in it in clumps. I ran over to him and saw that he was comparing them.

"Hm." he muttered. "This one has better taste quality...but this one is cheaper." I looked around and realized that we were in a commoner's store. It was rather small, with only me and Haruhi in there and with isles and rows of different goods stacked together neatly. I decided to look at the weird thing-y with Haruhi.

"What's that?" I asked, and he looked up to me. I thought I could see a sort of brown glint behind his glasses for a moment before they returned to their thick glare.

"Coffee." He explained shortly. I nodded.

"Perhaps taste would be better." I said. "They probably wouldn't accept anything less." He nodded.

"Ah." he went to the clerk-a tired looking old man with thinning white hair who had been stroking their thick beard previously-and put the instant coffee containers and other things that I didn't pay attention to up onto the counter. "How much is it, Mr. Yokada?"

I looked at Haruhi for a moment, then the clerk who seemed to know Haruhi also.

"Eh...I'll give you a discount this time, Haruhi-Chan, if you tell your dad I said hi."

"Ah," he said monotonously, but I thought I sensed a sort of friendliness in his voi-wait. Haruhi...Chan? Is Haruhi a gir...nah! That couldn't be, because the other people in the host club would have noticed it too, wouldn't they?

The old man looked at me suddenly, then Haruhi.

"A new friend of your's, Haruhi?" he asked, a huge grin on his face. Haruhi nodded.

"Yeah...sort of." He smiled, then began digging in his pocket. He pulled out a couple of coins and put it onto the counter. "Here you go."

The old man's grin widened. He picked up the coins in his hand and pushed a button on the register which thrust out the drawer which contained the money. He looked at his hand for a money, sorted it out, then put it into the register.

Haruhi picked up the instant coffees from the counter, into a bag and motioned for me to follow him out. While we were by the door, he turned his head back to the old man and said,

"Thanks Mr. Yokada!" before turning back and heading to the door. I walked with him for a moment before turning back, forgetting to say my thanks to Mr. Yokada.

I ran back to the desk and said so, smiling.

"Make sure to take care of Haruhi, ne?" he said, grinning down at me. I looked at him, confused. "I've known her since she was a little girl,"...What? "and believe me, she doesn't know how from left to right when it comes to herself, you see?" I nodded, and in monotone-despite being slightly honored with this task, said okay, still slightly surprised by the news.

Haruhi's a what?

~New at school~

When we got back to the host club after a long silence, me still contemplating the idea that Haruhi was a girl, we were greeted by the rudest thing I had ever heard next to me being a dog.

"Oh, speak of the devils. Thanks for shopping for us, little piglets." he said, waving to us and smiling like he had said nothing strange. Pig? What the hell? "Did you get everything bought all right?"

What the hell! Of course we got everything bought all right! We're not stupid!

"P-pig?" Haruhi voiced from beside me. I glanced at her to see that her eyebrow was twitching. It felt weird, to suddenly think of her as a girl, whom I had only just recently thought of as a boy. But now that I looked at her, she certainly possessed some feminine qualities, despite the messy hair, hunched figure and flat chest. Her skin was nice too.

By the time I had escaped from my somewhat hilarious thinking, Haruhi had walked over to the blond guy with violet-blue eyes and was showing him the delicious but more expensive coffee.

"So, what's this, then?" he asked, studying the instant coffee as though it were some kind of strange artifact.

"Just what it looks like." said Haruhi, as though it were obvious. "It's coffee."

"I've never seen this name brand." said the blond guy. I walked over to survey it also, not at all knowing what they were talking about. He glanced back at me. "What do you think, piglet two?"

My eye twitched, but I only closed my eyes and shrugged, very thankful for my sunglasses.

"I dunno. I don't really drink coffee." I answered coolly, trying to keep up my distant exterior. He went back to staring at coffee curiously, as did I. I didn't know why but I couldn't help but somehow be mystified by it, despite carrying it minutes ago.

"Is this the kind that's already ground?" asked the blond guy, whose conversations and girl's I'd been listening to well enough to know that his name was Tamaki.

"No," said Haruhi, who I now looked at and realized that she looked quite out of place among the yellow bell dresses and blue blazer/ black pants, with her messy brown hair, crumpled purple sweater and paper bag. "It's instant."

I abandoned my earlier thoughts and replaced it with a new one.

"Instant?" asked everyone in almost unison, including me.

"Oh," said Tamaki in in great interest. He was standing now. "commoners' coffee, where you only have to add hot water, right?" I looked up and, in my surprise, notice that a crowd was forming on the other side of the couches.

"Ooh, I've heard of this." said one of the girls on the other couch, her hair was extremely wavy.

"So it's true about poor people not having any free time, so they can't even grin their own beans, huh?" All of the girls around her nodded in agreement.

"Whoa, I never knew about this before!" I said.

"Commoners have their wisdom." said the cool looking boy of the crowd that had wound together around me.

"It says that 100 g costs 300 yen." said the twin with the deeper voice.

"That's an incredible price drop." said the higher voiced twin. I nodded in agreement.

"I'll go buy something else." said Haruhi, bruising my laziness which did not want me to get up. "Excuse me for not getting expensive beans." I twitched, not wanting to get up and go back to the commoners store, having already had my commoner lesson for the day. Besides, didn't she already get the expensive beans?

"No, wait." said Tamaki, putting a hand up to silence Haruhi. Every one gasped and I looked at the cool one who backed up for some reason. What did he know that I didn't know? Tamaki stood up. "I'll drink this." he said, sounding like an hero who was bravely heading off to fight the Jabberwocky.

However, not wanting to be the stick in the mud, I also pretended to be amazed. In fact...

"I will too!" I said, thumping my chest and standing up straight.

"We will drink this alright." said Tamaki, holding up the coffee and my wrist like a hero. I glanced at the twins, both who were on opposite sides of the couch and impossible to look at at once who were clapping with their mouths wide open. I was positive that they were faking being impressed.

He then raised his hand, as though to stop the clapping. More and more was he reminding me of one of those princes from fairy tales...except all self obsessed and such.

"All right, Haruhi," said Tamaki after a moment or two. "come over here and make this commoners' coffee."

I walked next to him as he glided towards an already set up table which I had long before set down the instant coffee containers in a neat little row.

Some of the girls were muttering worriedly to each other, and I might have wanted to also if I knew them a little better. I had often heard of coffee but never given it more than a second glance.

"Hm!" said Tamaki brightly, and I looked up at him. "I hope that this 'instant commoner's coffee' tastes good!" he said, stretching out his arms as though he were announcing some sort of competition.

"It should be," I said, realizing that this was the second time that I had spoken to him. "Haruhi-kun said that he bought the tasty kind." I spoke with more confidence than I actually had.

"Haruhi!" said Tamaki loudly. I looked at Haruhi, who had seemed to have been talking to some red haired chick that Tamaki had been 'entertaining' earlier.

Haruhi soon slouched over to where we stood and walked to where I had set up the fancy tea cups. Using the container, she poured a bit of the coffee beans into the spoon for each cup, then came back another round to fill the cups with steaming water from at thin tea pot.

With his finger poised thoughtfully beneath his chin (for some sort of dramatic effect, I suppose) he said; "Let the tasting begin!" in that same calm, princely like manner.

Meanwhile, four girls who picked up the small tea cups of instant coffee started expressing their fears while I stared at my cup doubtfully. Why wasn't Tamaki picking up his cup?

"What if you drank it from my mouth?" I heard him say to a girl who exposed that her might have yelled at her if she drank the instant coffee. Ew... I then looked and saw that she was partially lifted from the ground, one leg still on the ground(the other lifted high for some reason) and her hands on the chest.

"I-I'll drink it." she said shyly while other girls screeched and squealed. It was apparently a heart racing moment for them. I thanked god that I had my sun glasses to roll my eyes under and my baseball cap to tug down when I started to twitch a little. I picked up a coffee cup that had been in front of me without my notice and slowly, slowly picked it up to mouth and blew out a little bit of the steam.

And then I sipped it, realizing that it was hot but delicious, like hot cocoa.

However the relaxing coffee time did not last long because very soon we were sent to serve instant coffee to the customers. A couple of times, while carrying our trays, I saw some pretty interesting things.

Like when I walked over to the two ginger haired twins who were entertaining a girl each. I thought about this for a moment and realized that I wouldn't want to be two against one in people either. Especially twins, who had that whole twin telepathy going on.

The one with the deeper voice was laughing and the other was looking at him shyly.

"So, then he had this terrible dream, and when he bolted up from it..."

"Hikaru!" said the other, gently and soundlessly slamming his fists across the table. "Not that story." I now knew that the deep voiced one was Hikaru. I wondered what the other's name was and was curious to know the rest of the story. Damn light voice one...

"You're awful," he said, receding back into his chair, his hand was on his lip. "telling that story in front of others..." The light voiced one turned his head and let a few tears spill out. Sensitive much...

"Kaoru..." said Hikaru, his eyes widening as he realized what he had done. Now to think of it...insensitive much, not to think of his own twins feelings and how he may have reacted! He didn't even think of how it may have embarrassed him. I think the lighter voiced one was gaining more points with the girls.

The girls went closer together, and I was faintly aware that my mouth was slightly open. I was much more interested in the twins, one of which-I think it was Hikaru-pulled up the other's face-I was pretty sure it was Kaoru's-and with soul and no doubt brotherly love, apologized. It was strangely dramatic and pretty and made me blush at the same time.

"You were just so cute when it happened, I couldn't help myself." I sniffled. Why couldn't straight guys be like that?

"Hikaru..."

The girls squealed, snapping me out of whatever that was and yelled, "Kyaa! What beautiful brotherly love!" I'm pretty sure that the twins had won over the girls.

I walked over to the girls and asked if they wanted coffee as politely as I could, a kind smile that I had learned while entertaining guest from father's business and he was doing something else on my face.

"Y-yes." said a girl politely, a slight tremor in her voice and her dark blue eyes closed. I frowned.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked, and the twins looked at the girl too, probably wondering the same as me.

The other girl, who had long brown hair and brown eyes, looked over too.

"Um...it's nothing but...your glasses and your hat are kind of scaring me." I raised an eyebrow, wondering how something like that could scare someone. Then I remembered that I was dressed in commoner's clothes, which might have scared me if someone like that was waiting on me.

I sighed and pulled off my baseball cap, which I had put on since I was having a bad hair day and wanted to make a good impression on the school-though I suppose it didn't work. I was sure that my light brown hair popped out and it looked incredibly frizzy and messy.

I then slipped off my black sun glasses which I had been wearing for no reason at all.

"Is this okay then?" I asked towards the girl, out of common courtesy. To tell the truth I couldn't give a damn whether it looked 'okay' or not.

I think she had a fever or something, 'cause her face was red, and it was infectious because so was the face of the girl next to her. I glanced at the twins who were smirking, their eyes half open. They then stood up and slid their arms over my shoulders.

"Mah," said the one with the deeper voice while they looked at me.

"Who knew." said the one with the lighter voice, shrugging.

They then looked at each other, I saw as I looked up, and exchanged significant looks.

"We have to report to Tono." they both said as they stampeded off, their dust rising from behind them.

"O~kay..." I said. "What was that about?" I looked down at the girls. "Uh...is it okay if I sit down? I don't know when they'll be back." Truth was, my legs were killing me from waiting the tables and the tray was making my back hurt.

They nodded, getting close to each other like they had earlier.

"I'm sorry, I'm late." said a high voice who I recognized as the person who had asked if I was alright earlier. I looked back and saw that it was the cute little blond boy on the back of the tall one with somewhat tanned skin and black hair.

"Honey-kun! Mori-kun!" Honey and Mori, I tried to remember, knowing that I would have to use their names later on. Honey is the sweet topping that the maids used on my oatmeal and he's sweet...and Mori is a sword and he's...steely like a sword!

"We've been waiting this whole time for you!" said another girl. I turned back to the girls in front of me and grinned.

"What now?" I asked, my head tilted and one of the pleasant smiles that mom and dad had taught me on my face.

"W-well..." said the girl with short black hair that went to the back of her neck and dark blue eyes. "You could try to host in place of them...uh...what's your name?" she finished shyly.

"H-host?" I exclaimed, caught totally by surprise. "A-and my names Ishiguro Suzuki." I was not a host...I was certain of that when I woke up this morning but now...I'M SO CONFUSED! And I had no idea how to host! I had only seen Hikaru and Kaoru do it for five seconds and there's no way that I'm doing that with anyone that I barely know.

I tried to remember how Tamaki did it and remembered all that 'what sort of music do you like' 'that one tune that reminds me of you' sort of crap that I had heard when we walked in. I wasn't gonna do that either...too corny. Where the hell were Hikaru and...Kaoru... That's it!

"Uh..." I decided to go with the truth and mix it up a bit. "But, I don't know how to host." I whined, using the frustrated little kid technique that dad had taught me.

I looked up at them, somewhat teary eyed.

"I...just know that I can't. I'm not a professional like everyone else here. I know that I can never be that good of a host." It was where I insisted that I couldn't do something and then got so frustrated that I cried. All I had to do was pretend that I hadn't gotten my way.

"No!" Pretending to be surprised, I looked up at the girl who said it, which was the wavy brown haired girl with the same chestnut brown eyes. "You have to have more confidence in yourself!"

The girl nodded next to her with a strong "Hn!"

I smiled at them, using on of those non-confident smiles and put up my fist in a weak power stance.

"All right! I'll do my best!" I said in a calm but confident voice with one of those calm, closed eyed smiles on my face. I had decided to base myself on Sakamoto Akira from Princess Princess. All calm and unsure of myself.

"Do your best, Suzuki-kun!" they said, raising their fists up high in the air, looking rather unsure about it. I chuckled. Despite the fact that I shouldn't have, I thought it was pretty cute.

"Fight on, Suzuki-kun!"

"Please," I said, smiling with my eyes still a little teary. "Call me Suzu-kun. Suzuki makes me feel like a girl."

Apparently, the twins chose that moment to return with Tamaki who looked me over. Usually, if somebody was surveying me, I might have kicked them where the sun don't shine all the way to the moon, but he probably didn't know it was my pet peeve and I was starting to get used to weird stuff here...it was weird.

"Ah, you were right, Hikaru, Kaoru. He does seem like host material." he said after what looked like deep thought, his hand under his chin. He glanced at the girls. Wait...host?

"Ne, how did you like spending time with our Piglet #2." he asked, tilting his head with what I suppose was a charming smile, his elbow holding himself up with support of the purple couch.

"Suzu-kun?" she asked, her eyes wide as though wondering whether that was my name or not. "Mm. He was really nice. I just wanted to cheer him on a lot!" she smiled at him, I saw from my side angle.

"Hm...is that so?" he grinned, his eyes closed, and his violet blue eye wandered over to meet my questioning gaze. I sat back in my chair pleasantly and crossed my legs in a polite manner and reached across to the table to grab the handle of my tea/coffee cup and shakily pressed it to my lips and sipped.

Just as quick as I sipped it, I pressed it down onto the table with little to no force, making sure that there was no unnecessary clatter. I tried to make my hand stop shaking by shoving it into my pocket and taking a deep breath. I glanced at him and saw, with relief, that he was now entertaining the girls.

I wondered why he did this. Wouldn't that be adding onto his work? But then I decided not to punch a kiss horse in the mouth-or was it kiss a punch horse in the mouth? Or maybe it was look a gift horse in the mouth...maybe it was the first one..? American phrases are strange. I concluded while taking another soft sip of my coffee.

It really is good. It was strange actually. It wasn't great and yet...addicting. Very strange indeed. Maybe as strange as a magical horse that kisses people. Then I realized something even weirder.

"Tamaki-san," I said, calling his attention.

"Please," he said in a delicate steps in my direction, then leaning down to look at me. "call me Tamaki."

I blinked.

"'Kay. Whatever, Tamaki-san." He sat down on the ground in facing away from me, in the fetal position. "Uh, yeah. Why am I here if I don't go to this school?" He looked up at me, recognizing my point for what it was.

"Ah..." he looked around the room, as though searching. "Kyouya!" he called, still sitting, his arms waving around wildly. Very soon, Kyouya-san-I gotta remember that-very calmly walked over, and stared at Tamaki-san through his glaring glasses.

"Hn?" he asked inquisitively.

"Why is Piglet number two here when he doesn't go to school here?" he asked curiously, his voice containing a very silly childishness.

"Hm," said Kyouya, a slight smile on his face as he adjusted his glasses. "Ishiguro Suzuki, second in line for the Ishiguro fashion company, a branch of the Violet company and son of the famous model, Ishiguro Amita, formerly Dokita Amita, and of Ishiguro Hokita. He will be entering Ouran Academy, tomorrow." He smiled and closed the notebook he had pulled out of somewhere.

I backed away from it, it having looked a lot like a Death Note. I wondered if Kyouya had Shinigami eyes, and that was how he knew people's names. I had seen him do it a couple of times earlier, without the people giving him their names. It was scary.

I looked back at Haruhi and saw that she looked...well, I don't know how she looked. Pissed, I guess? It was from the direction that Tamaki and Kyouya came from.

"Oh, right!" I heard Tamaki say, while turned back to him, while clapping his hands together. "I have a piglet to teach!" He ran back over to Haruhi, past her and into the main hallway where I had first arrived and sat in the chair, which was now gone.

Bored, I decided to follow. Then I remembered the girls.

"Ah, sorry. Hosting is done for now, right? The originals are here." They nodded, smiling. It was sort of creepy. They did it in sync.

"Okay then," I gave a weak wave. "See ya' princesses, Hikaru-san, Kaoru-san." I nodded at them, and for some reason they narrowed their eyes.

"Bye, Suzu-kun!" said one of the girls, and the other one echoed her.

"Bye, Piglet #2." said the twins, in synch, waving very weakly at me as I walked backwards for a moment. I decided to ignore them and cursed inwardly when I forgot where I was going. By the time I remembered what it was that I was going for, the twins were already there, with me behind them and Hikaru started saying something.

"...he hasn't even passed the first, most basic visual test. Now, with someone of his type,even if you take of his glasses, his eyes just look that much smaller." he said, while I saw Kaoru's arm on the Haruhi's head and Hikaru walked over to the front of Haruhi and took off her glasses. His eyes looked really wide when he saw what he did, so I pushed him and Kaoru to the side to see Haruhi's face.

I couldn't help but gasp and smile so wide that my cheeks started to hurt. Oh my gosh Haruhi is so adorable!

"I lost my contact the day of the school's opening ceremony." said Haruhi, the adorable one, waving her hands. I think she wanted us to go away but I couldn't stop staring at her, who looked like an adorable boy. But then I found myself get shoved aside, via Tamaki-sempai moving me and the twins aside.

He looked shocked as well, the turned his head down quite dramatically. What the hell, I thought.

Then he snapped. Not like he went crazy, but with his fingers.

"Hikaru! Kaoru!" he ordered, and they gathered behind him obediently.

"Yes, sir!" they said, and I looked back at them. They were saluting to him, navy style.

And then, all of a sudden my arm was grabbed and I was dragged into the curtain filled room that I had been in earlier and where I broke the vase and roses and eavesdropped.

Then I was suddenly in a room in the blink of an eye, a blue blazer and black pants on a hanger in my arms.

"How...did this happen...?" I stared at it before deciding that I had to change, and heard a commotion in the room next to mine.

"Here! Change into this!"

"What? What!" Oh, I could see why Haruhi was not okay with this. I would probably had punched the twins out or something.

"Don't ask any questions!" That didn't sound creepy at all. For a moment, I saw their ginger or red hair over the curtains. Damn, they can jump high. I'll give them that.

"No way!" I continued to hear signs of struggle. "All right, I'll change, but you two have to get out!"

"Whoa-oa-oa-oa..."I wondered if they knew he was a girl by how girlish her voice sounded when saying this. Or that she really minded when someone was in the same room as her when changing.

"Same goes for here!" I called from behind my curtain when I finally got undressed, except for my underwear and whatnot. After I finished changing, I got out and realized that everyone was out there and staring at me now. It was embarrassing. But I was thankful.

My mom didn't have to buy me the uniform now.

"I'm done." I announced lamely, straightening out my blue blazer. It was quite nice an straightened out my back a little.

"Wah! You look so nice!" said Hunny-sempai, and I grinned at him a little.

"Uh...thanks..."

"A lot like a girl!"

"That was a bit much, Tamaki-san."

"Um, sempai?" asked Haruhi's voice behind a curtain. I looked behind me and saw a small sign that said 'Changing' taped on her curtain.

"Oh, are you done changing?" asked Tamaki, who's voice had turned back to manly after his little outburst about me looking like a girl. The curtain swooshed open and there I saw Haruhi, the absolutely adorable. In a boy's uniform.

"I can really keep this uniform?" she asked, almost shyly. Well, not really.

"How adorable!" cried Tamaki-san, who was actually crying, with his hands around his face like a little girl or something who saw their idol suddenly. "You look almost like a girl, don't you?"

Seriously, can't think of anything original? He already used that one on me.

"Haru-Chan, how cute!" said Hunny-sempai, while I thought the exact same.

"If that's how you really look," started Hikaru.

"You should have said so sooner." finished Kaoru. I realized that they sounded really rude, still like Alice. There were more outbursts like that and Tamaki said some crap about having already knowing that this would happen. I knew this was a lie because of how surprised he looked when he saw Haruhi all cute and stuff.

"The errand boy," he pointed at Haruhi, then me. "and little piglet number two have graduated! Starting today, you two are official members of the host club! I will train you two to be first class hosts. If you can get 100 guests to request you two, we will forgive your 800 million-yen debt and perhaps you 200 million-yen debt and eavesdropping charge.

"A host?" asked Haruhi, while I realized something.

"But wait, I can pay you off," I said, pointing to myself. My family was quite wealthy, and I don't think they would mind.

"Yes, that is true, but," the black haired one, Kyouya, pushed up his glasses and grinned. "we could always call the police for breaking and entering, since you do not yet go to this school and do not own this room in anyway." My eyes bulged out of my head.

"R-really?" I asked, my mouth was sagging a little. He nodded. I sighed, feeling like marching to my grave if I ever got arrested.