Hi guys This is a renewed and slightly changed first chapter with the help of my beta reader Jefferson author who is fantastic! - thank you so much

as ever review or pm me to let me know what you think or if you have any ideas

Chapter 2: I'm a Not-So-Perfect Person

"Hey Mom, are you free for a consolation?" Ridley asked, peeping her head into the scrub room she had spotted her mom in. "And possibly a chat too?" Her mother looked up and nodded, motioning for her to come in. "I mean it'll be a while before we can perform any surgery." She said, though her mother had already agreed.

"Hey sweetie." She said as Ridley entered. "Actually, I am free for a bit. This was my last surgery for the day, I just have some post op patients to take a look at later. What you got?" She asked as Ridley followed her towards the elevator. "I'm starving. Walk and talk."

"A ten year old boy named Jake. He came in last night with abdominal pain so I did a work up on him and saw there was some sort of mass which I thought could be liver failure or maybe an undetected defect." She said, giving Meredith the scans. She glanced at the scans, then gave a firm nod that Ridley hated. She had hoped she was wrong.

"Yeah it is. We'll know more when we do the surgery." Her mom said, sounding just about like how Ridley felt. "God I hate it when it's a kid." She said, looking at her daughter. "I guess we'll have to wait till your Uncle Alex is available for the surgery." She said as she ordered coffee for them both. She had ordered lunch too, but when Ridley went to pay for her half, her mother swatted her hand away.

"Yeah, I put it on the board for 2:30. So we have a couple of hours before we have to go and scrub." She said, pulling out a chair at the table they had chosen. As she looked around the Cafeteria, she noticed her fellow interns were also eating lunch. In fact, they were only a few tables away and giving her very confused looks.

"Meaning its plenty of time for you to spill whatever it is you want to tell me about" Meredith said, knowing her daughter well enough to know when something is bothering her, and it was obvious something was.

"Okay," She broke, not even trying to resist. "I've got two things. One is that I don't know how to deal with the other interns, not including Matt, finding out you and Dad are my parents." She said, choosing the lesser of two evils to talk about first. Meredith nodded in understanding.

"When I was an intern, everyone thought I was entitled to get the best surgeries and therefore didn't need to try hard, but that wasn't true." Meredith said, thinking back to her intern year. "I had to try twice as hard." She said, knowing that this was going to be a problem.

"Just to prove your own talents, I get that. I thought if I just acted professional in work and acted like half the staff wasn't my family I'd be okay, but I can't do that." She said chuckling at her failed attempts of professionalism.

Meanwhile, at the intern table everyone apart from Matt was staring at Dr. Grey and Ridley have lunch. They all thought that maybe they were friends, seeming as that's how they were acting.

"Seriously, who is this chick? And how did she get to eat lunch with Medusa?" Asked Katie, a tall dirty blonde with short straight hair who was taking a slip of her water.

"Forget that! How did she get her to even like her? Medusa has snapping at me all day." Chris muttered, taking a bite of an apple and staring at Ridley.

"Maybe it's her..." Sam suggested, knowing everyone else was already thinking it. They had all heard about her- the child of two world renowned surgeons, and the granddaughter of one. They all hated her, and none of them knew her. "You know, the Golden Child of Derek Shepard and Meredith Grey. Not to mention she's the granddaughter of Ellis Grey." At the weird looks he was getting, he sighed. "None of us have actually heard her surname yet." He pointed out.

"Oh my God!" Katie shrieked, then quieted down when people started looking at her. "I totally see it, she actually looks Medusa! They have the same face- and eyes!" Katie said shocked. It was clear she had just now begun to put the pieces together. Everyone else had too, but there were definitely some chunks missing.

"That's why Dr. Karev is letting her scrub in on that kids surgery this afternoon- because she's surgical royalty and the hospital is probably named after her." Sam said, plainly disgusted at how someone used money or their name to get ahead, although he had no proof that's what she had done.

"Oh yeah! Her parents own the hospital- no wonder she go into this program." Another intern, Chris, piped up. "Did she even go to med school?" Chris said, even though he couldn't believe someone who looked so sweet could do something so sneaky.

"Okay one-" Matt started, fed up with the 'Bash Ridley' party that had started. "The hospital is not named after her. It's called Grey-Sloan Memorial meaning two people with the names Grey and Sloan died and when they changed the name of the hospital, they thought it would be the best to respect their passing." He finished, finally stopping the judgments.

"Fine, maybe it wasn't named after her but still her parents own it." Katie said. Voicing the thoughts of the other two.

"Yeah, her parents own the hospital." He agreed, but continued before they could say more. "But they would never boost her career by using their status, and Rid would never let them." He said, still very upset. "She wanted to pay her own way through school." He turned to Chris, who was trying to look away. "Oh, and by the way- she did go med school, just like the rest of us. Not only that, but she graduated top of her class." Matt said, then he grabbed his stuff and moved tables, disgusted by his colleagues and their rude comments. Yeah, now you'll be the butt of them. He thought to himself and he sat down in the one empty spot at Meredith and Ridley's table.

"Speak of the Devil and he shall appear!" Ridley said as Matt, the person she had been talking about, stormed over and slammed his water bottle on the table. "Mom and I were just talking about ways to prove myself as an individual when I pointed out that I didn't actually need anyone but you." She said, hoping to lighten the mood. It was to no avail. She knew her mom wouldn't mind that Matt was sitting with them. They had been best friends since they were twelve, so he had become part of the family in a way. Sighing, Ridley gave in. "What's up with you?" Ridley asked, turning to see him better.

"The idiots are talking about how you have 'surgical blood' in your veins or something." He muttered, putting air quotes around 'surgical blood'. He turned to Meredith, grimacing. "Also, they called you Medusa." He said, still slightly annoyed by their comments. He had always been fiercely protective of Rid.

"Oh well." Ridley shrugged. "It was bound to happen sooner or later... I'm trying to accept it and move on. That's what we've been talking about." She explained, ignoring the strange look he gave her.

"Which was only one of two problems you're having today." Meredith reminded her. "What's the other?" Meredith asked knowing that this next one was the one really worrying and stressing her out.

"If I tell you-both of you- you can't judge me or yell at me." She said trying to put extra emphasis on it.

"Okay we promise." Matt said, but she didn't seem to believe him "You know you can tell us anything." Matt assured her, worried about something that she felt she couldn't tell him.

"You know that new doctor, Mason Ward?" She asked, then continued at their nods. "Well i kinda... sort of...sleptwithhim" She finished in a rush, suddenly finding her coffee cup very interesting.

"Today? How have you had time? I mean we've been working for like 17 hours and I've barely had time to shower or eat." Matt said in disbelief. But he knew it was possible- he had heard many tales of the on call rooms from Meredith, Cristina and Alex.

"No!" She exclaimed. "Last night, we met at that bar and got talking then when I got your text I was about to leave..." She said drifting off as she relieved the memory of last night.

"And I'm guessing that wasn't the end of it?" Meredith asked knowing all too well what this could lead to.

"No." She admitted. "I went back to bar where he was and kissed him. Then that led to sex because just for once I wanted to Ridley the mysterious bar girl rather than Ridley related to Ellis and Meredith and Derek." She said. She supposed she should feel ashamed for wishing she was someone else, but she wasn't. She loved her family, but they could be a headache.

"Hey it's okay." Her mom laughed. "Remember who you're talking to. The daughter of Ellis Grey-plus that was how I met your Dad and you know from your Uncle Alex's stories that I was always sleeping with 'inappropriate men.'" Meredith said trying to make her feel better. She loved how open their relationship was compared to her and her mother's had been.

"I know and I was fine with it being a one off, but then Dad introduced me to him and I pretended I didn't know him which led to us kissing in the elevator...somehow." She admitted the final part of her confession, still confused how one thing led to another.

"Okay so far no judgment or yelling but I do have one question- how was the sex?" Matt said with a cheeky smile, and his question transformed Ridley's gloomy face into a smiling one.

"Oh, it was mind blowing but that's not the point. You know normal daughters don't tell their mother's this kind of info! What should I do!?" She asked frustrated by their lack of help or advice.

"When it was your dad and me I tried to stay away from him, not that it did much good. If I was you I would just go for it." She said with a humorous tone, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yeah, I semi agree with your Mom. I mean I get why you're hesitant, but if you like him then just be careful." Matt said seeing both points of view. All he wanted to do was wrap her up in bubble wrap and make sure she didn't get hurt.

"Thanks this has been a big help." Ridley said, but before they could speak, she continued. "Really, top notch but I've got to go and do pre ops on Jake." She gathered her things together and smiled. "Bye." She said Kissing her Mom on the head before heading to the locker room to change her shirt.

Later on that shift:

Jake's surgery had proved his liver was failing. As soon as they were finished, Alex phoned UNOS to put him on the list for a new liver as soon as possible. If it didn't get here soon enough, he could go into multi-system organ failure. They all scrubbed out in silence. Alex and Meredith had asked Ridley to be the one to tell the family about the liver failure, saying to would give her experience with telling family members horrible news. While Ridley walked back to the waiting area where Jake's mum was waiting for news, she quickly pulled her hair out of its messy ponytail and let her natural curls fall down around her shoulders.

"Dr. Grey-Shepard how is he? Is he okay? " His mother asked worriedly, hoping all her prayers had worked.

"Jake is fine." She said, dreading what came next. "He's in recovery now, but unfortunately there wasn't much we could do." She said, trying her hardest to stay calm. "When we opened him up, we saw that his liver was damaged beyond repair. Meaning he is not in liver failure yet-" She said, but stopped. All she could do was watch as the woman in front of her fell apart and sobbed.

"No, no, no, he can't- can't die, he's my baby!" She cried, legs buckling. Ridley held her up and guided her back to the chair she had been sitting in.

"Dr Karev has already called UNOS, so as soon as a liver comes in Jake will get it." She assured her, then sat down with her and held her hand. "If want to see him, you can go to his room. He should be back by now."She said, then could only watch as the heartbroken woman wondered down the hall to find her son.

Ridley could feel herself getting more and more upset by the whole ordeal. Rather than letting herself cry in front of everyone and look weak, she went to find the nearest on call room that was empty. Once she closed the door, it hit her. She felt like the air had been taken from her lungs. The thin scrub top that normally felt loose and comfortable suddenly felt restricting and nauseating. She ripped it off and threw it across the room, leaving her in a white tank top and her bra. She didn't remember moving to the bed, but that's where she sat with her legs tucked under her, hugging a pillow when the door opened.

"Hey." Mason entered the room and closed the door behind him, seeing her state. "Are you okay?" He asked, his voice full of concern and worry.

"I'm fine." She sniffed, although they both knew she was lying. It was almost comical that the words 'I'm fine' had become such an automatic response for her.

"No." He said and sat down next to her. "You're not, you're crying. What happened?" He asked, pulling her closer. Ridley leaned into his side and laid her head on his shoulder.

"I just had to tell a mother that her 10 year old son was in liver failure," She paused, taking a shaky breath. "And may or not get a liver in time. I just destroyed her life and what's worse is that I saw it destroy her right in front of me." She said as her voice began to break at the end as memory began to flash in her head. "And there wasn't anything I could do about it." She sobbed and turned father into him. He wrapped his arms tighter around her and rubbed circles on her back in a futile attempt to calm her down.

"Shh, it's okay... You'll be okay." He said although he knew there was nothing he could do to help her. It was a horrible feeling, but they all had to go through it at some point.

"How?" She spat, getting frustrated with herself. "I'm weak and clearly not a good doctor." Mason gently pulled her back out of her hiding place and wiped her eyes when she said that.

"You're not weak." He said, brushing the tears away. "You're human." He smiled gently. "Which will only make you a better doctor because you feel Ridley, you relate to your patients, you understand their emotions and feelings. You're going to be a brilliant doctor." Ridley looked into his eyes for the first time since he walked in. They were nice eyes, she supposed.

"Does it ever get easier?" She finally asked the question weighing on her mind. She looked down, slightly afraid of the answer.

"No." He took her hand in his as she began tracing the patterns of veins that webbed across his hand. "Not really, I mean you become numb in a sense, but you also feel each loss." She deflated slightly at that, but Mason continued before the tears could fall again. "However, you also feel each win as well." He smiled kindly, pulling one from Ridley's face as well. Mason had the power to cheer Ridley up simply by being around her. "Are you going to be okay Rid?" She nodded.

"Yeah, I'm alright- thank you." She said and nodded. "And I'm sorry- you know, for breaking down like that and-" She laughed and pointed to his scrub top. "Getting your scrub top all wet." Mason laughed too, a rich joyous sound.

"It's cool, I don't mind. I mean clearly this was all a way to get me alone so you could have your way with me…" He gave her a crooked smile and winked. "Again." Ridley chuckled and rose from the bed, pulling on her scrub top and grabbing her pager.

"You caught me- this was all a ploy to get you into bed...again." Her pager beeped from her side, flashing Matt's number. "Oh, I've got to Matt- I mean Dr. Wyatt is paging me." She said heading towards the door. Just as she was about to leave, Ridley turned around to reveal a sad but a gentle smile.

She tried to discreetly leave the on call room. She hoped no one would notice they were together, although nothing had happened. She headed towards the tunnels where Matt had paged her to meet him. They both knew the tunnels like the back of their hands, considering they had spent most of their teens in the tunnels studying. She thought of the on call room and smiled, then continued on her way.

Meanwhile:

Meredith saw Derek sitting at the table in the conference room, staring intently at his laptop screen. She gently opened the door, not wanting to disrupt him. She closed the door quietly and crept up behind him before wrapping her arms around his neck. Derek turned his head to see her and smiled as he kissed her hands.

"Everything ok?" He asked, knowing something was wrong once he had spun around in his chair to face her. Meredith sat down on his knee and sighed. "Uh oh."

"Ridley just had to tell her first patient's parent that her ten year old son is in liver failure." She said, recalling her first time giving bad news.

"How did she do?" He asked, concerned for their daughter. She had always been very empathic.

"She did great I think, but after she told the mother I think she went away to cry." She sighed again, running her hand over her face. "I tried to find her but I couldn't." She felt a bit defeated. When she had to deliver bad news the first time, she had remembered wanting to be held and told everything was going to be fine. She was hoping she could do the same for her daughter, but she hadn't been able to find her.

"She'll be okay; she's tough just like you. It takes a lot to bring Rid down, but she is going through the highs and low of being an intern. We just need to let her go through them knowing that we're here with her." That was Derek, always being the voice of reason.

"I know- I just hate it that she will. All I want to do is shield her from the things I went through as an intern and resident." Meredith said thinking about not only the work side of things, but also the personal. Her relationship with Mason seemed very similar to the one Meredith had with Derek in the beginning.

"Yeah, but I don't think that a plane crash, a shooting and everything else we went through will happen to her. Intern, resident or attending." He said trying to reassure her. He stroked her hair, knowing it always calmed her down.

"I guess you're right." She said, kissing him once before standing.

In the intern locker room, Matt and Ridley had changed out of their scrubs and back into their street clothes. They had both finished their first 24 hour shift without any major problems, like per say accidentally killing someone. They considered it to be a huge success, despite the fact that most of the other interns hated them. That was fine- they hated them too.

"Hey you ready to go?" Matt asked as he pulled his coat on. He slung his bag over his shoulder before crossing the room to her locker.

"Yeah I am." She said, sounding exhausted. "I just want to go home and sleep for a week." Matt nodded in agreement.

"Or until our next shift- that one's a nightshift. That's when all the real crazies come out." He pulled her into a hug as they walked towards the front door of the hospital.

"You know what?" Ridley said, untangling herself from him. "I'll meet you at the car, there's something I have to do before I leave." She looked across the room and spotted Mason. Matt followed her gaze and seemed nervous.

"Sure." He finally said. "I just hope you know what you're doing." He kissed her forehead and smiled, still uneasy. But, he left her alone and went to the car, trusting her judgment fully.

Ridley quickly fixed her hair so it looked semi tamed, then made sure her makeup was okay before tapping Mason's shoulder.

"You were right." She said. "You know, before when you kissed me in the elevator." She said, hoping he would understand and not make her say it.

"So what are you saying?" He asked.

"I want to give this- us- a go." She said, barely able to stop her hands shaking from fear of rejection. "But I'm not saying it is going to be easy." Mason smiled and pulled her closer before leaning down to whisper in her ear.

"The best ones never are."