The More Things Change…

The More Things Change…

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Chapter Two

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"How long are you going to be gone, daddy?" Theodore Bass sat in his reading chair, looking thoroughly put out.

"Just for the weekend, bud. You won't even know I'm gone." Chuck ruffled his son's hair, rechecking his plane ticket.

"Will you bring me something from New York?"

"Sure. What do you want?"

"The Empire State Building." Theo smiled, showing his missing teeth.

"You've been reading that New York book with mom, huh?"

"Yup."

"Well, then I'm so bursting with pride that I have no choice. I must bring you the Empire State Building."

"Yay!" Theo threw his arms around Chuck's leg, hanging onto him as he packed.

"You are not helping." Chuck laughed.

"Pack me! I want to come with you!"

"CHUCK!" Nate bellowed from downstairs.

"Yeah?"

"Amy's here. Are you almost ready?"

"Yeah, I'll be right down," Chuck looked down at his son, "Hear that, buddy? Your mom's here."

"I don't want to go with her! I want to go with you!" Theo wailed, still clinging tightly to Chuck's leg.

"Sorry, kiddo. Daddy's got to see some old friends."

"Why?"

"Because…you know, that's a good question. I guess I'll figure it out when I get there." Chuck pried Theo off his leg, swinging him up into his arms.

He treacherously balanced his son on one arm and pulled his suitcase with the other, finally making his way downstairs to find Nate and Amy catching up.

"Hey, Ames." Chuck said, setting a pouting Theo down.

Amy gave him a stiff one-armed hug, looking down at their son, "Did you have fun with your dad?"

"Of course! And he's going to bring me the Empire State Building!"

"Wow. Still making promises you can't keep, babe?" Amy smiled tightly at Chuck.

"Not to him." Chuck snapped.

Nate looked between them, clapping his hands together. "Well, Chuck and I should get going. We'll see you when we get back?"

"Of course. Bye, Nate," Amy took Theo's hand, leading him to the front door. Nate gave her a small wave and started carrying he and Chuck's luggage to the car.

"Bye, bud." Chuck patted Theo's head, but his son was obviously more than a little put out about having to leave and didn't reply.

Chuck and Amy watched Theo run to her car.

"Chuck?" Amy turned to look at him.

"Yeah?"

"This little reunion…is she going to be there?"

"Who?"

Amy didn't say anything, her eyes glassy as she hurriedly looked away. "Forget it. Have a good time."

"I will."

She walked away without another word, leaving Nate to shoot Chuck a puzzled look.

"What's her problem?" Nate asked, slamming the trunk of his Audi.

"Who knows?" Chuck shrugged, getting into the car as well.

"Chuck-"

"Just drive, okay?"

--

What's wrong, Bass? Never told N the whole story about your little overseas jaunt? Well, don't worry. I'll fill everyone in…

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London

three years ago…

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"To my oldest friend Chuck, the movie producer- may your casting couch always be occupied by hot young starlets." Blair grinned, sucking the olive off the toothpick in her martini after she clinked Chuck's glass.

"I'll drink to that." Chuck grinned, downing his scotch.

He stared at Blair's mouth wrap around the toothpick for a second too long, and she raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, no sir."

"What?"

"Don't give me sex face."

"This." Blair narrowed her eyes and looked up at Chuck with a furrowed brow and pursed lips. It was a pretty uncanny imitation.

"I was not giving you sex face." Chuck laughed.

"Well, good. Because I have a boyfriend."

"Oh, yeah- isn't he like seventy? I called Serena last week, and she said you've gone all septuagenarian."

"She can talk. At least James doesn't live in Brooklyn." Blair wrinkled her nose.

"I can't believe they got married. You realize Dan fucking Humphrey is my brother in law now?" Chuck shook his head.

"Gross. They'll probably have like twenty-five kids. Are you dating anyone?"

Chuck looked down at his left hand- was Blair intentionally being stupid?

But then he saw that he hadn't put his wedding ring back on that morning. His finger was bare. He thought of Amy's wrinkled-up, pissed-off face the morning he left, her blotchy skin and tired eyes, her constant uniform of stained sweatpants. He thought of Theo shrieking red-faced until five a.m. in the morning.

Who was he kidding? What had happened to his life?

"Chuck- hello?"

"S-Sorry. No, nothing serious." Chuck couldn't tell what was worse- the lie or how little guilt he felt as he said it.

"Your true love's out there somewhere, Bass." Blair grinned, touching the back of his hand and sending currents of electricity through his skin.

"I know." He looked at her.

Blair looked back at him, almost nervous.

"You want another round?"

"Sure."

Blair tapped on the bar with her long manicured nail, and Chuck just stared. She looked flawless- perfect make-up, curled hair, tight black and white dress, killer heels. Something about Blair all dressed up always made Chuck want to strip her down and see her without all of this. He was one of the few people who knew what she looked like when she first woke up in the morning- all sleepy-eyed and gorgeous- and he was practically dying to just reach out and-

"Why are you being so quiet?" Blair asked, swishing the olive around in her new martini.

Don't suck it off again, Chuck silently begged.

"It's just- you look amazing."

Blair shrugged, "You think? James has me doing Pilates. Says he doesn't want a trophy wife who's not hot."

"Seriously?"

"I think he was kidding, but I'm not entirely sure."

"Come on, Blair- when have you not been hot?"

Blair set down her drink.

"Chuck, seriously. Let's not go there, okay?"

"Where?"

"The past."

Chuck looked at her, not a trace of a smile on his face for once. "Breaking up with you was the biggest mistake I ever made."

Blair felt a shiver go through her. His voice always her want to do very bad things. But any tingly feeling he gave her was quickly replaced with anger.

"Which time, Chuck? The time you cheated on me junior year? Or the time you said I was suffocating you right before college? Or our college fuckbuddy phase? Because as I recall, you broke things off with us every time, so you're going to have to be more specific."

"I don't know what I can say other than I'm sorry."

"There is nothing else you can say. It's over. Beyond over. We can be friends. That's all I'm interested in."

"I'm not trying to hit on you, Blair- I'm just trying to apologize."

"Well, thank you for your apology. Can we talk about something else?"

"I just wanted you to know that it was me who was the idiot. I was an asshole."

Blair took a long sip.

"Yeah, you really were."

And now you're being an asshole again. To Amy. Chuck swallowed his whole tumbler glass, hoping that alcohol would silence his pesky conscience like always.

When they stood up from the bar an hour later, Blair teetered slightly on her heels, grabbing his arm.

"I might be a little drunk." She laughed as he helped her into her Valentino coat. Chuck knew it was a little metro, but he always checked labels. And Blair's clothes never disappointed.

"Don't embarrass me in public, alkie." Chuck grinned back.

"Do you want to take a walk? See London?"

"Sure. The last time I came here, I was like six. I think my dad bought me a Union Jack flag and stuffed me in a hotel room for two days while he went to meetings. But I could see Big Ben out of the window."

"God, your childhood was depressing."

"Whose wasn't?"

"That's true. I think my mom had me on a diet by the time I was that age."

"I remember- you were always the worst person to swap desserts with in school."

Blair laughed in remembrance, and they said together in little-Chuck voice:

"Celery and peanut butter? AGAIN?"

They both dissolved into laughter, walking outside into the cool London evening.

"You were such a little prick, even then." Blair giggled, lacing her arm through his.

"Is it weird that that doesn't feel like it was that long ago?"

"I know. It seems like just yesterday I was throwing up from Georgina's cigarettes in the sixth grade bathroom." Blair clapped a hand to her heart in remembrance.

"I had FORGOTTEN about that! I had to give you like five packs of gum so your mom wouldn't smell it on your breath." Chuck shook his head.

"And Serena made me go to her house to Febreze my uniform after school."

"I wonder what Whore-gina's up to these days." Chuck said as they passed through a still-busy Trafalgar Square.

"Probably dictatorship in eastern Europe or something. Who knows."

Chuck snickered, helping Blair walk across cobblestones in her sky-high heels.

"How's Nate?" Blair asked, having made it safely across.

"He's good. Kind of drifting. He was the Vice-President of my company for awhile, but he doesn't really have a head for it. I mean, he's not stupid, he's just not cutthroat enough to handle it, you know?"

"Yeah. Nate never did anything wrong, unless one of us persuaded him into it," Blair smiled with a vague fondness, "Did you have to fire him?"

"He quit. Last year. He's kind of just been coasting by on the trust fund for awhile. Dating randoms. I still don't think he knows what he wants to do with his life."

"Poor Nate."

"I guess. I think he sets his expectations for life way too high. Nobody ever promised us we'd have happy, fulfilled lives, you know?"

"Tell me about it. I mean, I like it here. And James is good for me. But it's just- I'm not changing the world or anything by making turquoise belts the new statement piece. And he's not exactly the love of my life. But it's what I got. And it's good enough."

"What would be your perfect life?" Chuck asked, as they stood waiting for the pedestrian walk sign on a near-empty road.

"I have no idea. I've spent all of it trying to live up to what everyone else wants for me. I've never made one decision by myself, that wasn't pre-approved by someone."

"Except dating me."

Blair considered this for a moment.

"That's true. That was definitely not pre-approved."

"Did I ever make you happy?"

She turned to look at him, her brown eyes softening slightly.

"Of course. That's why I kept coming back for more abuse, I guess. It's like I always knew you were going to do something to ruin it…but while it lasted…those were the best times of my life."

"Me too." Chuck said, not realizing until now how long he'd been missing her.

"But you did ruin it. You ruined everything." Blair's eyes were suddenly glassy, and he didn't know whether it was from the alcohol or actual emotion.

"Blair-" His hands were on her arms, and before she knew what she was doing, she was kissing him and he was kissing her back.

--

She woke up the next morning in his hotel room alone. When she checked with the front desk, they said Chuck Bass had taken a limo to the airport hours ago.

Blair practically collapsed into a chair in the lobby, the sudden proximity and subsequent loss of him hitting her like a punch in the gut. She should have known this was coming. That's all that Chuck ever left her with-- I should have known this time wouldn't be different. He said he loved her last night, but it was never as easy for him to love her in the morning.

She always told herself not to trust him, but always ended up in the same place. Believing he had changed.

But Chuck Bass never changed.

Blair's cell phone rang, and she nearly jumped out of her skin. It was her office, with some insipid shoe crisis.

"I'll be right there." Blair said, forcing a familiar fake smile on her face and snapping the phone shut.

The mask was firmly back in place. And the only person she ever let see behind it had left her again.

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