A/N: Okay, this was actually a quick upload. The prologue was written in a span of months, this chapter was written in a couple of days. So...if it's not as good as the other chapter, that's okay, this is a chapter to just get things going. This chapter may be confusing (so will this entire story), but if you have questions, by all mean ask them. And I will answer them with a smile, but not until the end of the chapter, just in case it contains spoilers for the current chapter. For those of you who have seen this movie, I hope you appreciate my attempts to make this story kind of different. It's a job, but a fun job.

Also, this story will be written will mostly take place in memories, which are forms of dreams. Which means it might get kind of confusing. For that I aologize. So read. Enjoy. Ponder.


December 11, 2013

Quinn just wanted this nightmare to end.

The drive back to her apartment was a blur of tears that she refused to let fall and nervous glances at the unmarked white van that had been following her home. She parked in her designated spot and trudged her way up the stairs to the front door of her apartment complex, chancing one last look at the van that had stopped in front of the building. She could just make out Karen waving at her from the passenger seat, a small, sympathetic smile gracing her soft features and her brother Mitchell nodding his greeting from behind the wheel. The dark haired angels there to fix the heart that they had helped destroy.

She clutched her keys and the pharmaceutical bag tightly in her hand and walked quickly into her building and up the first couple flights of stairs, ready to just get it all over with. Quinn was so lost in her thoughts that it wasn't until she was halfway down the hall that she noticed someone sitting in front of her door. She stopped and stared, her hand clenching reflexively around the medicine bag. Max narrowed her eyes and stood up from her spot on the floor, moving slowly out of the way so Quinn could get to the door. With a dropping heart, she spotted the yellow letter crumpled tightly in the other girl's fists. She sighed, opened the door and walked in without acknowledging the other girl, throwing her keys and the bag on the coffee table.

Max stomped in after her, fully ready to tear Quinn a new one, but when the lights came on and the artist turned towards her and waited, the angered words died in her throat. Quinn looked sick. There were bags under her tear stained eyes; Max was sure the blonde had got a total number of five hours of sleep for the entire week of finals, if that. She was very pale and was leaning heavily against her sofa and it looked as if that was the main thing that was keeping her from collapsing. Her face was void of any emotion, it was almost frightening. Max looked around the living room with a frown; Quinn had taken down all the pictures of Rachel, including a couple of paintings that were hanging up, leaving her walls looking plain and depressing. She walked over and leaned against the back of the couch next to Quinn, already sensing her defeat.

"So what happens now?"

Quinn sighed and looked down that the note in Max's hand, ignoring the familiar sting behind her eyes. "Now, you go home."

Max's eyes snapped to hers as she opened her mouth to retort. "Quinn -"

"No. Go home. Do exactly what that letter tells you to do," Quinn growled, her hazel eyes sparkling dangerously. Quinn took off her jacket, laying it across the arm of the couch and plopped down tiredly into the cushions. Max crossed her arms.

"You'll regret it, you know," she spoke to the blonde's back. Quinn seemed to deflate as she dropped her head into her hands.

"Fuck, Max," she whispered, her voice cracking, "Please, just leave me alone."

"You're seriously going through with this?" Max asked incredulously as she stared daggers at the bag on the table.

Quinn closed her eyes, her fist clenching in her hair. "I don't know what else to do."

"There are other ways to deal with this."

"Like what, Maxine!" Quinn shouted and stood up, spinning around to face the other girl. Max shut her mouth; the look of pure rage on Quinn's face was scarier than when it was just blank. "I want to fix us so badly, but there is no us anymore. We can never be together like this. I've stayed up for days thinking of ways that I could have saved us. I don't even know who to blame anymore, because what does it matter? I can't have her. And I miss her," the anger seemed to disappear, leaving a great feeling of despair in its wake, making her eyes flood. "God, I-I miss her so much. I think about her all the time, I dream about her. I can't get over her, I don't even know if I want to get over her and it kills me. But then you look at Rachel," she paused, biting her lip as tears leaked steadily from her eyes, "and she's happy. She's smiling and laughing. At perfect fucking peace because she has absolutely no idea who I am anymore."

Max watched sadly as Quinn shook with the force of her sobs. She walked over and wrapped her arms around the crying woman's shoulders and pulling her into a hug before her legs completely gave out from under her. She couldn't remember ever seeing the blonde so broken.

"God, Quinn," Max whispered into her hair.

"I can't get her out of my head, Max," Quinn cried into her shoulder. "I've tried. I've tried so hard, I swear."

"I know. I'm so sorry, Quinn," Max said quietly, pulling away to wipe the tears from her friend's face. She hated that the artist was in so much pain and she couldn't do a thing about it. After a few minutes Quinn seemed to calm down, her body wrenching sobs reduced to a few sniffs as she seemed to crawl back into that protective shell. Max pressed a soft kiss to Quinn's cheek. "If you really want to do this, I won't stop you. I just hope you've thought everything through." Quinn gave a tiny, teary smile.

"I just want to be happy again."

Max nodded. "You deserve to be happy." She pulled her into another hug and closed her eyes against the onset of tears. "I just want to let you know, I'm going to be a total bitch to you tomorrow because of this."

Quinn chuckled shakily, "Thank you."

The shorter girl smiled and leaned up to place a kiss on her cheek. "I love you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah," Quinn whispered. "I love you too."

Max bid her farewell until the next morning and left the apartment. Quinn sighed and snatched the medicine bag off the table and headed to her room. Her body moved on autopilot as she got into her pajamas and brushed her teeth, pointedly keeping her eyes away from her newly plain walls. She did not need to be reminded of what she got rid of. Of what she's getting rid of. Quinn closed her eyes and took a few deep, calming breaths and sat down on the edge of her bed.

It would all be over soon.

She glanced at the clock. It was eight, that would mean Santana and Brittany were back in Lima. She picked up her phone hesitantly; they would've gotten the letter before they left for the airport and she wasn't quite sure how Santana reacted to it. She dialed a number she had memorized for years and closed her eyes as it rang a couple of times before the line was picked up, but the only thing that could be heard at first was hard incensed breathing. She bit her lip and waited patiently for Santana to find the proper words to convey just how angry she was with her. There was a shuffle on the other end and a much brighter voice greeted Quinn.

"Hi, Quinn," said Brittany happily, ignoring the angry demands from Santana in the background.

"B, give me the phone!"

"Hey, Brittany," Quinn whispered, smiling only slightly at the small, short reprieve from Santana's anger.

"San seemed to have forgotten what she was going to say."

"B, let me speak to her, now!"

"Will you be nice?"

"No. I'm going to verbally kick her ass. Let me talk to that fucking bitch!"

"It's okay, Brittany."

Quinn heard Brittany sigh on the other end and there was another shuffle before the incensed breathing was back.

"You are a fucking coward," came the low dangerous voice.

Quinn dropped her head and grabbed the pill container from her night stand, twirling the unlabeled bottle in her hand. "I know."

There was a pause, like Santana expected to have to convince Quinn f how much of a coward she really was. "I assume this shit is supposed to be happening tonight."

"Yeah."

"Fuck, Quinn!" Santana cursed under her breath, "Why didn't you say anything?"

Quinn sighed and stood up to walk over to her window that overlooked her street. She peeked through the blinds at the parked white van. "Probably the same reason Rachel never said anything."

"Like that's supposed to fucking help me."

"Because this is the only way to feel better," she whispered into the phone, mostly talking to herself. Her eyes had taken on a glazed look that had translated to her tired voice. "No one else would understand that."

She let the blinds fall back in their place and listened to the silence on the other end. No one would understand. No one, that she knew, had to deal with losing the love of their life the way she lost the love of her life. Santana seemed to understand that.

"Still," Santana said with less steam than before, "you should've told me."

Quinn smiled and walked out of her bedroom towards her bathroom across the hall. She stopped in front of her broken mirror and stared at her many reflections. She could hardly recognize herself anymore. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well, fuck you," the Latina whispered. Quinn almost laughed because she could tell that Santana was trying to hide her hurt and worry behind her snark. "So what do you want?"

Quinn opened the medicine container and poured out the only thing in there into the palm of her hand. She stared hard at the small pill and enclosed it tightly in her fist. "I need you to wake me up tomorrow morning."

"Okay, what time?"

"Six o'clock."

"Oh, you bitch."

"Please?" Quinn turned on the faucet and filled up a small paper cup.

"God, fine," she could almost hear Santana rolling her eyes. "Anything else, Princess?"

"Just try to act normal tomorrow."

"Go fuck yourself."

"Great. Bye."

Before she hung up there was another shuffle and Brittany's bubbly voice came on the line.

"Bye Quinn!" she squealed into the phone.

The artist chuckled. "Goodbye, Britt."

"I hope you feel better tomorrow."

Quinn bit her lip and opened her hand to stare at the pill. This was supposed to guarantee ignorant bliss. Promised happiness. "You know what B, ask me about it tomorrow." She let a sad smile creep onto her face. "I think I'm already starting to feel better."

"Okay!" Brittany said happily. "Good night, Q!"

"Night, B."

She hung up the phone and without a moment's hesitation; she popped the pill into her mouth and swallowed it down with a gulp of water. The effects were instantaneous, but incredibly subtle at first. The lights in the bathroom seemed to be progressively getting brighter until she had to squint her eyes. She turned to leave and nearly stumbled into the wall as she turned off the lights. It felt like she was very drunk, without the laughter or the puking, as she crashed into walls and almost fell on her face a couple of times. She grabbed a hold on her dresser as the world began to tilt and turn and when her cell phone and the medicine container dropped out of her hand, she didn't trust herself to bend down and pick them up. With a few deep breaths, she cautiously let go of her dresser, knocked over her luggage and took a few unsteady steps towards her bed as her world began to blur and black out completely.


Karen stared hard at Quinn's window, waiting for a sign. She turned to her brother as he fiddled with the radio.

"I think it's time."

Mitchell looked up from the radio to the dark windows of Quinn's bedroom. He turned off the engine and grinned.

"Ten bucks says she didn't make it to her bed."

Karen rolled her eyes. "That's a terrible thing to bet on."

"Twenty bucks."

"Okay."

The two siblings exited the van, juggled all of their equipment from the back and struggled with them across the street to Quinn's building, all the while trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. They climbed up the stairs, smiling nonchalantly at the residents that walk passed them, and by the time they were at Quinn's door they were panting. Mitchell shifted everything over so he could open the door and the two of them stumbled over the threshold. Karen took a look around.

"This is a nice place," she said quietly, peeking into the kitchen, then the living room. Mitchell rolled his eyes.

"You'll have hours to explore the apartment, so come on. This shit is heavy."

They carried everything into the bedroom, where they found Quinn sprawled out on the floor by her bed. Mitchell beamed and carefully placed everything at the foot of the bed, stepping over Quinn's fallen luggage.

"Pay up, little one."

Karen smirked. "You still owe me twenty from the last job we did, so let's call it even."

"Damn," the brother grumbled, "Should've bet more. Come on; let's get her on the bed."

They moved over to Quinn and, with Mitchell at her head and Karen at her feet, they picked her up and placed her gently on her bed and under the covers. They then began to set up; Karen picked up the luggage and lined them up neatly by the door, grabbed Quinn's cell phone from the floor and placed it on the bedside table, and grabbed the empty medicine container, putting it in her bag. Mitchell set the fold up table next to the bed, by Quinn's head, and began to plug in their computer, a small television set and the infinite number of wires they had carried in with them. Karen picked up a strange helmet device that had wires connecting it to the computer and the small TV set, placing it carefully over Quinn's head. She straightened up and looked around.

"Did you plug everything in?"

"Yes."

"Correctly?"

"Yes."

"…are you sure?"

"I'm going to kick you in the face," Mitchell growled as he turned on the TV set and an x-ray of Quinn's brain showed up on the screen. He booted up the computer and grinned when everything seemed to be running smoothly. He watched the little green dots, signifying target memories, begin to glow in several areas of the brain. Karen left the room and returned with two chairs from the dining room table, grabbing two beers from the trusty cooler they had brought with them. "Looks like we're ready to begin."

Karen sighed and sat back in her chair, staring at Quinn, "The poor thing."


Quinn opened her eyes to a couple of voices. They were distant, somewhat muted, but it sounded familiar. She squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to ignore the noise.

You're seriously going through with this…

Quinn growled in frustration. The voices seemed to be getting louder.

"I don't know what else to do," she mumbled into her pillow.

There are other ways to deal with this…

"Like what, Maxine!" Quinn's eyes snapped open and she turned to see Max staring at her from the other side of the couch. She closed her mouth and looked around her; she was standing in the middle of her living room and a faint feeling of anger was simmering in her veins. Slowly the fire hot rage cooled down until she was shivering with sadness and before she knew what was going on, a couple of arms encircled her. Reflexively, she buried her face into the shoulder that was comforting her.

"God Quinn…"

I can't stop thinking of her. She remembered the words clearly, in fact she could hear them being said, but she didn't open her mouth to speak them. Max seemed to understand her though because her arms tightened around her and she's wiping the tears from her face and whispering her apologies.

"I just want to be happy again," Quinn whispered to herself, staring at the floor. She can hear Max answer her but she didn't pay attention to her. There's another voice coming from the bedroom and she walked around Max who stayed in place and continued talking like she never moved.

Behind her, she heard the front door close, but she paid it no mind as she walked to her bed where her cell phone sat on the comforter. She picked it up and placed it to her ear.

"Fuck Quinn! Why didn't you say anything?"

Quinn didn't answer, but again her response rang out like there was a PA system in her room.

"Like that's supposed to fucking help me." Santana answered her from the other side of the phone.

Because this is the only way to feel better. Quinn bit her lip and walked to her bathroom. She stopped in front of her mirror, grimacing at her broken reflection and she could feel the tears running down her face.

No one else would understand that.


"Tina's coming by later."

Mitchell looked up from getting rid of the last memory. He pushed his glasses up his nose and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Why?"

Karen shrugged as she flipped through an US magazine. "I guess she wants to witness an erasing first hand, you know?"

"But this is like the most boring shit in the world," Mitchell grumbled as he moved on to another memory.

"At least it beats having to be stuck here with you all night."

Mitchell gave her the bird and Karen just laughed.


December 9, 2013

"I'm going to get back together with Rachel."

Quinn stood in front of Santana and Brittany at their apartment (while Puck and Sam, who were visiting, were out exploring the city) biting her lip and fidgeting with her fingers. Their silence began to make her feel nervous so she began to pace.

"I-I know it's going to be hard, but I have to try," she said, almost desperately. "I can't sleep without her. I miss her so much. We – I mean, I have a chance right? We could get passed all of this shit."

She looked between her two oldest friends. Santana seemed to be avoiding her eyes, but Brittany looked as if she was about to cry. Finally Santana cleared her throat and looked up.

"Maybe," she whispered, looking away once again, "maybe it's best if you just forget her Q."

Quinn was taken aback. Then she angry.

"Forget her? What the fuck, Santana?" she growled. "You were the one telling me to 'pull my head out of my ass and ask the midget out again.' Now you're telling me to-to just forget her?"

"Hey, look, I told you to do that right after Thanksgiving and you're just now deciding that your ass isn't the best home for your stupid head?" Santana argued back defensively, crossing her arms over her chest. "Well guess what, now you're too fucking late. The only option you have left is to forget about her and leave her alone."

Quinn shook her head. She couldn't accept that. She needed Rachel. "I'm getting her back."

"You can't, Quinn," the Latina seethed, but her voice was laced with sadness. Quinn clenched her fist.

"Why not?"

"Because she doesn't remember you."

Santana and Quinn's heads snapped to Brittany, who was looking down at her hands. Quinn furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and she looked towards Santana for an explanation and she had her head in her hands. Something in Quinn's chest broke, like her heart realized something dreadful that her brain just wanted to deny.

"Of course she remembers me," Quinn whispered. A tear fell out of Brittany's eye. "What-What are you talking about?"

Santana let out a deep sigh. She stood up and walked over to Brittany, bending down to whisper into the blonde's ear. Brittany nodded, gave Santana a quick kiss, stood up and walked to the bedroom. The Latina straightened up and motioned for Quinn to follow her. They walked into the kitchen and Quinn leaned against the counter next to Santana, who opened a drawer filled with mail.

"It upsets Brittany," she mumbled under her breath. She lifted the entire pile, moved a couple of papers out of the way until she revealed a yellow medium sized card with a small message on it. She picked it up, looked it over and grimaced before handing it over to Quinn with sympathetic eyes.

"I'm sorry, Quinn."

With shaking hands, Quinn snatched the card from her and read the short message that, while it may be getting erased from her brain, will forever be painfully etched into her heart.

Rachel Berry has had Quinn Fabray erased from her memory. Please never mention their relationship to her again.

Even as she stared at it, Rachel's name seemed to fade away.

"I don't – I don't understand," Quinn whispered. Her eyes began to flood with tears. "What is this?"

"It's this place," Santana answered quietly. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Quinn with a soft expression. "They erase memories."

Quinn shook her head, dislodging a few tears so they fell down her cheeks. She looked back down at the card in her hand that was now blank except for the company name in the top right corner: Lacuna, Inc..

"This isn't real," she ran her fingers over the wording. Just like the day it happened, it felt like Quinn's world had just ended. She knew it to be true. She felt it. Her body shook and Santana grabbed Quinn's hand that was gripping the counter so hard, her knuckles turned white. "This can't be happening."

But it did happen. Quinn knew this, she remembered it. She wiped the tears from her face and turned around to leave the kitchen, leaving Santana staring at the empty space where she was just standing. When she entered the living room again, she could hear murmurs coming from the bedroom. Sniffing, she walked to the room and pushed open the door, revealing a book store. The very book store that Rachel worked at.

Gripping the blank yellow card tightly in her hands, Quinn walked quickly over to the aisle she remembered Rachel being in on this day. She was so focused on finding the brunette; she didn't care to marvel that the people around her were silent, but were moving their mouths as though they were speaking. She just needed to find Rachel, to hug her and kiss her and tell her just how fucking sorry she was. And, like her body knew exactly what to do, she turned her head sharply to the left and found the object of her desire placing books back on the shelves. She charged towards her and, just as she opened her mouth to call out, a hand closed around her arm and yanked her behind a book shelf. Another hand was slapped over her mouth and there was a second of blinding terror that ran through Quinn's body before she realized it was just Santana.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" the Latina hissed at her. Quinn grabbed her hand and ripped it from her face. Her hazel eyes were blazing with frustration.

"I'm going to see Rachel."

Santana shook her head and pushed her against the shelf, keeping her there with an arm across Quinn's chest.

"You can't. Didn't I just fucking tell you that before you stormed out of my apartment?"

"This isn't real, Santana," Quinn whispered harshly at her, waving the card in front of her face. "She remembers me."

"She doesn't."

Tears leaked out of Quinn's eyes and the fight seemed to leave her body as she leaned against the book case. "She has to," she cried desperately.

Santana seemed to deflate as well and she gently grabbed Quinn's arm and pulled her out of the aisle. They only went a couple of shelves over before Santana pushed the blonde into an empty aisle on the other side of where Rachel was working.

"Stay. Here." Santana demanded in a whisper and Quinn didn't even have the energy to argue back so she leaned tiredly against the shelf.

Santana turned on her heel and walked around the bookshelf.

"Hey, Berry."

"S-Santana!" came Rachel's surprised voice and Quinn couldn't help the smile that crept onto her face. "W-what are you doing here?"

"Looking for books. Obviously."

"Well, of course, but, I meant here, in New York."

The smile from Quinn's face dropped instantly.

"Well, you're not the only one to escape the confines of Lima, Ohio.

"No, of-of course not," Rachel backtracked nervously, "So do you go to school here?"

"Columbia."

"Really? Congratulations."

"Thanks."

There was a small pause in the conversation, but Quinn hardly noticed. Her heart was beating so hard and so fast, she was worried it was going to blow her cover.

"So, Berry," Santana drawled and Quinn could hear the smirk in her voice. "Is there any special woman in your life?"

Quinn's hand clenched around the message still in her hand and she had to restrain herself from walking around the corner and punching Santana in the face. Instead she waited with bated breath, praying that no one had already taken Rachel away from her.

"How did you – I mean, I've never told anyone…"

"What? That you're gay? What's wrong with that?"

She could hear Rachel huff. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay and I have no problem with it. It's just, I've never told anyone nor have I ever experienced anything with a woman, so I'm just surprised that you would have assumed correctly that I was attracted to the fairer sex. But to answer your question, no, there isn't a special woman in my life."

In that moment, Quinn's heart seemed to suddenly stop. The very thing that she feared was true, but she already knew it was.

There isn't a special woman in my life.

She didn't stay to listen to the rest of the conversation. She needed to get out of there. She just wanted to forget this already because it was breaking her heart all over again. She rushed to the exit, pushing people out of the way, though it seemed that they didn't even notice her and would continue with their silent conversations. She threw open the double doors and stepped out into the cold air to find herself in front of a brick building with a small, barely noticeable sign that said simply: Lacuna, Inc..

Taking a deep breath, Quinn walked into the building to find a waiting room already filled with people, some that had boxes filled with all kinds of stuff in front of them. She walked cautiously to the counter where the receptionist was printing out more of those yellow message cards with her back to her. Quinn cleared her throat.

"Excuse me?"

The receptionist turned around and the two women gasped.

"Tina?"

"Shit," Tina whispered and rolled her chair over to the counter. "Quinn, wh-what are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" Quinn lowered her voice as to not attract attention.

"I work here," Tina explained nervously. Quinn narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips before throwing the crumpled message onto Tina's desk. The receptionist stared at the card and sighed. She looked up at Quinn with a guilty, apologetic look before reaching over and grabbing a clip board with a bunch of forms on it and handing it to the blonde. "Here. Fill this out. I'll try to get you in as soon as possible."

"I'm not interested in getting the procedure," Quinn said coldly, "I just want to talk."

"You still have to fill it out, I'm sorry," Tina said quietly, avoiding the hard hazel eyes. Quinn sighed, snatched up the clip board and the message and sat down to fill out the forms that were just like the doctor's forms she remembered her mom filling out for her when she was a kid. Just as she signed her last signature, Tina had called her name. She stood up and followed the nervous woman to an office in the back. She knocked a couple of times and they both waited.

"Come in."

Tina opened the door and walked in with Quinn behind her. A middle aged Asian man sat behind the desk surrounded by papers, the name tag on the table read: Dr. Tim Cohen. The doctor looked up at them as they entered and smiled.

"This is Quinn Fabray," said Tina, motioning to Quinn. Quinn nodded her head in a greeting. "She wanted to talk to you. It's rather important."

"Of course!" said Cohen, waving his hand towards the chair. "Please, sit down, Ms. Fabray."

Quinn looked at Tina, who gave an encouraging smile before she left them alone, and she slowly sat down in front of Cohen's desk.

"So, what can I help you with?"

Quinn gulped and instead of forcing her to voice her 'problem', she dropped the message card onto the pile of papers on the doctor's desk. Cohen frowned and picked up the letter, reading it over. He sighed sadly and looked at Quinn with the same apologetic look that she's been getting from everyone. And she's tired of it. He shook his head pushed the letter back towards the blonde.

"You shouldn't have seen this."

Quinn wanted to scoff; because of course she was going to see it. How could she not when she and Rachel shared the same fucking friends. Instead, she leaned forward and placed her head into her hands.

"Fuck," she whispered.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Fabray," Cohen said quietly, sounding genuinely apologetic for having helped cause the young woman so much pain.

Quinn leaned back in her chair, looking towards the ceiling to keep the tears from falling. "Why would she do this to me?"

Dr. Cohen sighed and clasped his hands in front of him. "I don't think she did this as a way to get back at you." He said matter of factly and Quinn looked at him, waiting. "The majority of these patients come here on impulse. They don't think things through before deciding to do the procedure. But then there are some that just…seem to need this. Like this was their last resort. While it may not be my business and while this is only the point of view of someone on the outside looking in, I will say that Rachel Berry came here while she was quite literally at the end of her rope. Had she not come here to get the procedure done, I fear she would've turned to more…drastic measures to get rid of her pain."

At the thought of Rachel wanting to commit suicide because of her, tears began to fall heavily from Quinn's eyes. She had no idea how much she was hurting the small diva and at that very moment, she hated herself. She made herself sick. She looked up at the doctor only briefly before snatching up the letter and nearly running out of the office and the building, ignoring the calls of her name. Once outside, she walked a little bit down the sidewalk and leaned against the building. She took a few deep breaths before breaking down in tears.

She slid to the floor and covered her mouth as she shook. How did this happen? When did she and Rachel become so broken? They were forever. She knew they were.

The sound of footsteps caused her to look up and she was actually relieved to see that it was Tina and not some stranger. Tina didn't say anything; she just took a seat next to Quinn and waited. Finally, after several long minutes, Quinn opened her mouth to speak.

"Why do you work here?"

Tina looked down at her hands. "Dr. Cohen is my uncle. He's helping me pay for school."

Quinn nodded, wiping some of the tears from her face. "Did you – did you erase Rachel's mind?"

"No," Tina answered right away, "I'm just a receptionist at the moment."

"Did you talk to Rachel?"

Tina gulped and nodded, still avoiding eye contact. Quinn sniffed.

"What-what did she say?"

Tina sighed and looked up at Quinn, guilty brown eyes meeting the devastated hazel. She reached over and grabbed her hand. "Not much. Just that she was hurting and she didn't know where else to go." She bit her lip and tightened her hold on Quinn's hand. "That you didn't want her anymore."

Quinn closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the brick building. It was her fault. She drove Rachel to this. She let go of Tina's hand and ran her hands through her hair. She stood up slowly and shoved her hands into her jacket pockets.

"I have to go," she mumbled to Tina, who simply nodded from her spot on the floor. She gave the other girl one last look before turning on her heel and walking away, barely registering the 'I'm sorry, Quinn' that was shouted after her.


There was a knock and Karen turned from looking at one of Quinn's paintings that was on the wall and went to open the door. Tina stood there smiling, holding up a bottle of white Stella Rose dessert wine.

"Oh, yummy wine!" Karen squealed pulling Tina into the apartment and into a hug before closing the door. She grabbed the wine from Tina's hands. "Mitchell is working in the bedroom."

"Great," Tina said with a smile before frowning slightly when she noticed the absence of all the pictures from the walls. She took off her jacket, draped it over the back of one of the dining room chairs and walked towards the bedroom. She paused briefly in the doorway to stare at Quinn's unconscious body that was hooked up to the machines in front of Mitchell.

"Hey, Tina," the man greeted the other woman happily. Tina smiled at him and walked forward to give him a hug, still keeping an eye on Quinn. Karen bounced in brandishing the wine and a few wine glasses from Quinn's cupboard.

"Tina brought Stella Rose," she proclaimed, already in the process of popping off the cork.

"Awesome, you're already getting into the groove of erasing," Mitchell said jokingly as he grabbed a wine glass and handed one to Tina. Tina smiled and shrugged, holding out her glass so Karen could fill it up.

"I figured there would just be a lot of waiting, might as well make the most of it right?"

Mitchell and Karen nodded enthusiastically. Karen finished pouring wine into her glass and she held it up.

"A toast!"

The other two held theirs up as well.

"To a successful erasing.'

"To a successful erasing!"

They clinked their glasses together and, with another apologetic glance at Quinn, Tina took a sip of her wine.


December 10, 2013

"Listen, Q, maybe it's for the best."

Quinn closed her eyes and dropped her head to the table, trying to ignore Santana and everyone else that sat around her dining room table and on her couch. She just wanted to sleep and mope, but Santana refused to let her and instead invited herself, Brittany, Puck, Sam and Max over to her apartment.

"How is this for the best?" she mumbled.

Santana shrugged and looked at the others for help, but receiving none.

"Are you going to do the procedure?" Sam asked from the couch. Max and Santana pursed their lips and Quinn sighed, lifting her head off the table. She knew the two girls have already expressed their views on the process ("It's sketch, at best, Quinn." "Q, if you do this, I will actually consider murdering you.").

"I don't know," she whispered. She let her eyes drift over all of them. "Have any of you talked to her lately?"

Everyone shook their head.

"With her memory erased, she still thinks I'm going to slushy her every chance I get," Santana said, leaning back into her chair and crossing her arms. "Hell, she doesn't even remember Max."

Quinn looked at Max who looked down at her hands sadly. She had forgotten about that. Because Rachel had met Max through Quinn, she had also forgotten her. Which meant she forgot about her sisters and about the progression of her friendships with the people in this room. She stared up at the ceiling again to keep her tears at bay. She was so tired of crying.

"Are you guys going to her show tonight?" Quinn asked quietly. Everyone nodded ("Even though she doesn't remember me," mumbled Max).

"Are you?" Puck asked. Quinn shrugged.

"She's not supposed to see me," she whispered.

"Well," Puck smirked, "she doesn't need to know you're there."

Quinn looked up to respond, but found herself alone in her bedroom and the lack of light coming through the blinds told her it was night time. She glanced at the clock; Rachel's show started in just an hour. She stood up and walked over to her closet to find something to wear, when she heard it.

Will you come to my show? It's the last one before they go break.

She closed her eyes as she remembered the conversation. It was one of the last ones they had.

I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Quinn spun towards the bed where the voices seemed to be coming from, but found no one. She frowned and quickly got dressed.

The theatre was small, but it was packed and she found a seat all the way in the back, away from her friend and as far from the stage as possible. When the lights turned off, her heart began to race and when Rachel first came out on stage, it stopped completely. She was gorgeous up there, singing her heart out for people who paid to see her. Quinn cried the entire show and when it was over she needed to leave to get some air. Rachel was living her dream. She was happy.

Without her.

She waited across the street for her friends, still clutching the ticket in her hand. Puck and Sam came out first and they walked over to keep her company.

"Hey, Q, you look hot," Puck greeted, letting his eyes roam her body. Quinn rolled her eyes and smacked his arm. Sam gave her a hug and they began to discuss the show, when Quinn spotted her over Sam's shoulder.

Rachel had just walked out of the backstage door and was quickly followed by Todd, one of her cast mates and Quinn's fists began to shake. Rachel looked frustrated as she tried to walk away from the man, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him. Puck and Sam turned to look behind them and Quinn noticed Puck straighten and clench his fist before he stomped over towards them. Sam placed a comforting arm around Quinn's shoulders as they watched.

"Hey, Rach!" Puck called out. Rachel turned towards him and, instantly, a relieved smile took over her face. Todd let go of her arm when she threw her arms around Puck's neck. Puck picked her up and spun her a couple of times before placing her gently back on the ground. He turned her face to Todd and scowled at him. The cast mate took a cautious step back, and after Puck said something to him, he turned around and walked hastily away. Rachel turned back to Puck, and Quinn could just make out the words 'thank you' before she engulfed him in another hug, a huge smile on her face.

It pained her. That was her girl. She supposed to go and protect her from that douche bag, but she couldn't. In Rachel Berry world, she doesn't exist anymore. She wiped at her eyes when she felt the tears begin to fall and gave Sam a watery smile when he pulled her into a side hug. She gave him a full hug and turned to walk away; throwing her ticket in the trashcan as she passed it.

In the blink of an eye, she was back in front of Lacuna, Inc.. She checked her watch, it was almost ten, she was sure they weren't open, but she didn't care. She walked in, thankful that the door was still unlocked. The waiting room was empty and Tina was behind the counter putting away some files.

"I'm sorry but we're cl-" she looked up and stopped. "Quinn."

Quinn didn't say anything. Still in her clothes from the show, she walked quickly down the hall towards Dr. Cohen's office with Tina chasing after her. She threw open the door and Cohen looked up at her surprised.

"I want it done," Quinn whispered, her eyes instantly tearing up. Tina stopped behind her, her mouth dropped open. Cohen nodded in understanding and beckoned Quinn to follow him.

"We won't be able to do it tonight; all of my technicians are out on other jobs. But we can get it started for tomorrow," he explained as he led her to an ordinary examination room.

"I – I don't have a lot of money," she told him quietly, blushing. Cohen gave her a smile.

"You and a lot of other people," he chuckled. "We'll go over some prices that are in your range, okay?"

Quinn nodded and they began with the typical doctor procedure of checking her heartbeat and her reflexes, among other things. All the while, Cohen was explaining the procedure to Quinn.

"It is painless; some people don't even realize an erasing is happening. It will be like a series of dreams and you will wake up as if you were in a deep sleep, which I guess is kind of true."

Quinn bit her lip. "Is this in any way…dangerous in the long run?"

Cohen rubbed his chin, but shook his head. "While this is all technically brain damage, it is perfectly safe when done correctly. And we haven't failed yet, nor have we had any cases where the subject has died or has fallen ill. You have nothing to worry about."

Quinn nodded, but she couldn't ignore the hesitant feeling in her stomach. After the examination, Cohen led Quinn to a small room where there was just a table, a tape recorder and two chairs. They sat down and Cohen opened up a folder and took out his pen.

"Okay," he pressed the record button and looked up at Quinn, "Please, state your name and the person you wish to erase."

The blonde cleared her throat nervously. "My name is Quinn Fabray and I'm here to erase Rachel Berry."

Cohen nodded and wrote down a couple of things. "Good. Now, why don't you tell me about Rachel."

Quinn closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "When I first met Rachel, I knew right away that I loved her…"


Karen and Mitchell had switched places and Mitchell was sitting with Tina next to Quinn's body.

"So why did you want to come see this erasing out of all the other erasings?"

Tina bit her lip and looked up at the other two. "Just curious, I guess."

"Well this is an interesting case," said Karen as she concentrated on erasing a couple of memories. "One of our last jobs was actually this chick's girlfriend."

"Really?" Tina asked, feigning surprise. Mitchell nodded.

"Yeah," he said with a frown. "We had a few troubles with her, but it worked out smoothly. Still, it's pretty sad isn't it?"

"What is?"

"Finding out someone you loved wanted nothing more to do with you," Karen answered, with a frown of her own. She glanced at Quinn's body again and shook her head. "Poor thing."

Tina nodded sadly.

I'm so sorry, Quinn.


December 11, 2013

After your final tomorrow morning, we will begin the procedure.

Quinn walked somberly into her home after getting her paycheck and finishing her final. She stopped in the middle on the living room and looked around.

You must rid yourself of anything that is connected to Rachel Berry, or reminds you of her in any way.

She walked into the kitchen to grab her trash bag and started with the refrigerator. With a shaking hand she took down pictures of the two of them, Rachel's schedule, the little love notes she didn't have it in her to take down before and threw them all into the trash bag.

Pictures, letters, journal entries…anything.

She then went to the living room and took down all the pictures and a few paintings that were done for Rachel or were inspired by her. The stuffed frog on the couch, a book that Rachel left in her apartment. She walked into her room and paused in the doorway. She figured she could pack while she 'cleansed' her apartment. So as she got her clothes and everything together, she simultaneously bagged the pictures and paintings from the wall, clothes that reminded her of the brunette, that various art works that was of Rachel or for Rachel. Every little thing that could remind her of the small diva, she needed to get rid of and every object that she threw in those trash bags was another break to her heart.

She paused in the middle of everything and pulled out her cell phone. She dialed Abigail's number and waited. The bubbly girl answered.

"Hey Quinn!"

"Hey, Abby," Quinn said quietly, unable to keep the smile off of her face from just her sister's voice. "I need you to do me a favor."

"Sure, what's up?"

Quinn sighed. She knew Abigail was just as torn up about her and Rachel's break up as she was; she was going to hate this. "I need you to go into my room and get rid of everything that is related to Rachel."

There was silence on the other end.

"Quinn," came the unnaturally pained voice that instantly brought more tears to Quinn's eyes. "What's going on?"

Quinn rubbed her eyes dry and slowly continued packing and bagging. "I'm going to get my memory erased."

"Like Rachel?"

"Yeah," Quinn whispered. "Just like Rachel."

"So that you can be happy?"

Quinn chuckled bitterly. "Something like that."

Abigail sighed. "I'll do it on one condition."

"What?"

"I get to keep everything."

Quinn smiled; at least someone still cared about them. "Sure, hun."

"Okay. I'll do it."

"Thanks, Abby," Quinn whispered as she looked around her room. "I owe you."

"Yeah. You kind of do."

"Remind me. I love you."

"I love you too, Quinn," whispered Abigail. "I hope this helps you."

"Me too, Abby."

They hung up with quiet goodbyes.

With her room stripped and the majority of her bags packed, she grabbed the trash bags and dragged them to the bathroom. She walked to the shower and got rid of Rachel wash cloth and her towels. She went over to the medicine cabinet, opened it up and froze. Her toothbrush was still there, right next to Quinn. Like it always was. Like she was coming back. Her lip trembled and she grabbed the toothbrush. She held it up like it was the holy grail before she grinded her teeth and forcefully threw it into the trash bag. Infuriated, she grabbed the edge of the mirrored cabinet and slammed it shut, the forced of it cracking the mirror in the middle so that it spread to the outer edge like a spider web. She stared blankly at the broken glass, before turning on her heel and leaving the bathroom. She put on her shoes and left the apartment with just the trash bags that were filled with the memories of Rachel.

Again, before she knew it, she was back at Lacuna, Inc.. She walked in, greeted Tina and went directly to the back where Cohen and a woman were waiting for her. Dr. Cohen smiled at her.

"Hello, Quinn. This is Karen McDaniel," the brunette girl waved at her and was not deterred when Quinn simply nodded. "She will be one of your technicians tonight, along with her brother Mitchell. Two of my best."

Karen blushed at the compliment and stood up from the chair next to the desk.

"Hi Quinn," they shook hands. "If you'll follow me."

Karen led her to another examination room, but this one contained a chair that had a rather intimidating devise that seemed to be for her head. With a smile, the technician motion for Quinn to sit down, which she did, but hesitantly.

"This is to read your brain waves. We need to create a map for us to follow when we begin to erase," she explain as she pressed a button to lower the device over Quinn's head so that it nearly covered her eyes. Karen pulled the trash bags toward her and clapped her hands.

"Okay, I will be bringing out all of these objects and place them in front of you on this table. I ask for you not to speak, we get a better reading that way, but try to focus on the memory of the object. You got it?"

Quinn nodded weakly. "Yeah."

"Great!"

And for hours it seemed, Karen brought out object after object that personified Rachel and Quinn was reminded of all the happy, loving times she used to have. Love letters from Rachel. Pictures of Rachel. Rachel's song books. Presents given to her by Rachel. She couldn't help the tears that flowed as this continued, ignoring Karen's sympathetic looks. This was torture, pure torture. But she pushed Rachel away, so isn't this what she deserves?

Isn't this what she wanted?


A/N: Okay. Confused? Sorry bout that.

For those confused about the last chapter: Yes, everyone knows the Rachel and Quinn have gotten their memories erased. But, as we saw in this chapter, they aren't supposed to mention their relationship to them. but if you read the last chapter again, maybe you'll find subtle hints to the relationship. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this. I love the reviews, they really make me want to write. Don't know when the next chapter is going to come up, but hopefully just as quick as this one. Also, it's about eight in the morning and I am running on no sleep. So while I did proof read this, I still apologize for any mistakes or sense of "rushedness." I just really wanted to get this out.