A/N: Hmm, chapter two. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! This chapter is to establish a bit more of the setting and connections and stuff. Enjoy!

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Zoro ate listlessly, not noticing what he was putting on his plate as he wandered through the buffet tables and piled his plate high. If he was going to eat for free at a place like Rain Dinners, then he was going to eat until his sides burst. He thought back to Sanji's challenge, and shrugged. It wouldn't kill him to fight a bit on a full stomach. However, if Sanji was so confident about picking a fight with Zoro, then he must have been capable of packing a punch.

Or maybe he was just a really arrogant bastard.

"Are you sure that it is wise to try and eat stewed radishes with carrot cake, Zoro?" Robin asked. Her dark skin, almond-shaped eyes, and high cheekbones were evidence of her Native American heritage; she was a beauty that captured the eyes of every man that she passed. She chuckled as Zoro quickly spat out what he had been eating, after realizing that the taste was not an ideal combination.

"Thanks, Robin," Zoro muttered, separating the hodgepodge of food on his plate. "Why did I pour soy sauce on my crab? Or put sweet and sour sauce on my oysters…"

"Mmmm, that looks good!" Luffy exclaimed, reaching out quickly with his fork. "Peach cobbler and sashimi!"

"That's sick, bro," Franky groaned. "You make me retch just looking at you eat."

"Shishishi, try it!"

"Hell, no! Get that away from me, kid!" The Hawaiian man pushed Luffy away with all his might, avoiding the offending fork.

"Did you know the chef at the takoyaki booth, Zoro?" Vivi asked, cutting delicately into her fish. Her skin was bronzed by her Egyptian heritage and a life outdoors, and her clothing whispered softly of old money; there were stories of her family's bloodline extending all the way back to ancient royalty. "You seemed really distracted after talking to him."

Zoro coughed as he swallowed abruptly, caught off-guard by the question. He cleared his throat. "I went to this coffeehouse that he works this morning, and saw him again in the hospital after he fell like an idiot and hit his head. I had to take him home."

"That's quite unusual, for someone you have only just met," Robin mused. "How interesting."

"It's not anything weird, it just turned out like this," Zoro protested.

"Oh, did I say anything about that? I don't believe I suggested that anything out of the ordinary was occurring. However, your flustered appearance and defensive comments make me believe otherwise." Robin smiled sweetly at him as she bit delicately into a strawberry.

"…."

"She's got you there, Zoro."

"Shut up, Franky."

---

Sanji watched Zoro out of the corner of his eye. He was curious to see what a man like that ate. Probably a lot of steak, or meat in general, he was guessing. Sanji gaped in disbelief and almost missed pouring the batter into the skillet when he saw Zoro piling an extremely random and eclectic mix of food onto his plate. Really, sardines with lychee fruit? Even I couldn't make that taste good. Judging by Zoro's sour look once he sat down and looked at his plate, Zoro didn't really want to eat what was on his plate, either. Sanji snorted in amusement as he flipped the takoyaki, and grimaced when he saw the straw hat kid gobbling whatever was on Zoro's plate. At least the food isn't going to waste, then.

"Once this batch is done, your shift is done for the night. Patty and Carne are working extra hours tonight, so you don't have to worry," Pell said as he stood by Sanji's shoulder. Sanji jumped—Pell was a freaking ninja sometimes—and nodded.

It was about time to kick some musclehead's face in, anyway.

---

"We should probably be leaving, Luffy," Vivi suggested gently. "I believe that if we stay any longer, then this restaurant will not make any profits."

"But I'm still hungry, Vivi!"

"Do you want them to call Shanks again?"

"Ack! No! Alright, I'm coming!" Luffy jumped up, patting his stomach happily. "That was really good, though. It's even better than I remember!"

Chaka, who had been standing nearby biting his nails as he watched Rain Dinners' income go down the drain called Luffy, approached the group. "I see that this is not your first time frequenting our restaurant? The menu has been altered slightly, due to the efforts of a chef we hired not too long ago. You might have seen him working at the takoyaki stall. I hope you enjoyed your meal." He nodded courteously to Vivi. "Miss Nefertari, I hope you are well?"

"Oh, Chaka, I keep telling you to call me Vivi. But yes, I am fine." The two exchanged pleasantries as the rest of the group left to wait outside.

Zoro stretched his arms, mimicking Luffy's motion of patting his stomach. "Finally, a real meal. I haven't eaten normal food for days."

"Chopper keeps telling you that you should get some real sustenance, though," Robin chided him. "It's not like you couldn't afford to eat normally, after all."

"But it's a pain in the ass to cook."

"Can't cook, eh?" Sanji walked out from the alleyway where he had exited the restaurant. A cigarette hung from his lips as his coat was thrown casually over one arm. "Ready to settle our little dispute?"

"Looks, fighting won't resolve anything," Zoro said. "If it could, then I would gladly beat the shit out of you to cure your idiocy. But beating you up won't make you less of an asshole, so there's no point in putting you down like that."

Sanji's face twitched violently. "You're really pushing your luck, you bastard," he growled angrily. "Let's find somewhere nice and quiet where we can duke it out without disturbing the neighbors, shall we? It'll only take a minute."

Zoro turned to the others. "You guys can go on home."

"But we were going to go out for drinks tonight!" Franky protested. "I really need to unwind."

"Yeah, we were going to meet Tashigi at Cipher Pol. I heard that Brooke's going to be playing tonight, too," Vivi added.

"They have the best buffalo wings there! We have to go, Zoro!" Luffy cried, as though that would be great incentive for his friend. "You can bring this guy along, too!"

Zoro sighed, twisting the cap around his head. "We'll see. I'll meet up with you guys after I take care of this, okay?"

"Okay, Zoro," Robin said with a smile, pulling Vivi and Franky along. "Are you coming, Luffy?"

"Nah. I have to wait here so I can take him, or else he'll get lost."

"Good idea."

"Hey, I'm not going to get lost." Zoro turned around back to Sanji. "Ready?"

"Hell, yeah."

Zoro knew that his strongest fighting style was one that involved weapons—that's why he was a kendo instructor at Baroque Works. Still, he was confident of his general physical ability, and had grudgingly accepted hand-to-hand lessons from Daz Bones whenever they happened to be in the building at the same time between classes. He and the other instructors would often meet up (Daz was just weird in that he didn't like to socialize all the much) and brawl right in the building, with the victor being allowed to treat the other teachers as their students for the day. On more than one occasion, Zoro had found himself doing squats with the other losers up and down the stairs, and had had the opportunity to learn a variety of different styles.

Zoro knew that he was powerful. But this guy was fast. Who knew that a guy who spent his time doing diddly-squat in a café or kitchen could move that fast? Zoro underestimated his range, too; the first kick nearly grazed the bridge of his nose, and the second sweeping leg was only barely avoided. Zoro grabbed one leg and they stood, glaring at each other in a stalemate. If Zoro tried to twist Sanji, then the blond man could use that momentum and distraction to his advantage. If Sanji tried to kick out too early, then Zoro had the advantage of holding Sanji's leg down.

Sanji grimaced as he tested Zoro's grip on his leg. He might as well have pinned his leg in a block of cement. He could tell that this guy would bash his brains out in a single hit, without any fancy moves or tactical awareness. It was like fighting a monster.

Zoro scowled when he felt Sanji testing his grip. He had to be on his toes if he wanted to make sure that Sanji didn't try anything funny. Zoro knew that the cook was one who was as slippery as a snake—he would probably try to twist out of his predicament and go on the offensive at the same time.

They regarded each other silently, both knowing that they were in equal situations.

Maybe this guy wasn't so bad after all.

In their concentration, they didn't see a monkey-limbed individual approach them at a sprint and hit them both across the face.

"Luffy!"

"Oi!"

"This is boring! All that you're doing is standing there," Luffy complained. "If that's all you're going to do, then let's go to Cipher Pol! Jeez!" He picked the two of them up by their collars with surprising strength and dragged them in that general direction. Zoro squirmed in alarm as his hat was knocked off in the scuffle.

"Luffy, wait. I dropped my—"

"Kid, you had better not be manhandling my Banana Republic—green hair? What the fuck?"

Zoro sighed, picking up his cap. "Never mind. If you say anything about my hair, then I'll kill you, cook."

"You tried. You failed. So, green, huh?" The two men stood of their own accord and followed Luffy. "You weren't drunk when this happened, were you? I mean, guys usually get tattoos when they get drunk but…this?"

Zoro scoffed. "I never get drunk. Apparently it's some sort of recessive allele from my Ainu roots that hasn't been seen for generations. Centuries, even."

"Well, yeah. It's no wonder it's a recessive gene. Who would want to breed with a guy who looks like that?"

"You have a problem with it?" Zoro squinted at Sanji's face. "What's up with your eyebrow, anyway? You look like a villain from a silent film. You didn't try to pluck it and mess up, did you?"

"…of course not. W-why would I try and pluck my eyebrows?"

The two of them argued and traded insults for the entire half hour walk to the bar, having forgotten the original reason for their dispute. Luffy listened in amusement until they reached the doors, saying things like "You guys are bonding!" which would only set off the duo into a renewed argument. The wild-looking bouncer at the door grinned as he saw Luffy and Zoro, but raised a quizzical eyebrow as he saw Sanji. His long moustache twitched in suspicion.

"A new friend or what?" the man asked, jerking a thumb at Sanji. "If he's giving you trouble, Zoro, we can take care of him."

Zoro was sorely tempted to let him beat Sanji up, but shrugged. "Nah, Jyabura. This guy's…he's with us tonight." Sanji looked at him in surprise.

Maybe this guy isn't so bad after all.

"We're doing that big-brother program for people in Special Education."

Fuck it, this guy is going to die.

Jyabura shrugged. "If you say so. Oh, Luffy, your brother came through tonight. He should still be inside."

"Oooh, okay! Thanks!" The three of them walked through the doors into the building and were enveloped by the music. The three-story establishment was filled to capacity with writhing bodies on the bottom dance floor and laughing individuals on the second-story's bar. The second floor was open in the middle, giving everyone a view of the dance floor and the poles lined with neon lights that stretched from the ceiling to the platforms on the first floor. The top floor was also open in the middle, although the entrance was closed off as "VIP only." Luffy guffawed as he pointed to one of the poles and waved wildly. "Ace! Ace!" The figure wrapping itself around the pole looked up and waved back merrily.

"Hey, Luffy!"

Sanji stared. "Is that…a guy?"

Zoro nodded, slapping his forehead. "He's this idiot's brother. Frankly, I'm still surprised that his pants are still on. He pole dances here because of the tips—the girls go wild. See?" He pointed, and Sanji could see a group of girls clustered around the base of the platform, giggling and inserting bills into Ace's waistband whenever he was close enough.

"It's like a strip club," Sanji said, his mouth hanging open.

"Most of the people here are normal, compared to him," Zoro said. He turned and saw Luffy already walking upstairs. "Looks like he found everyone else."

They found Franky, Robin, Vivi, and Franky sitting with Tashigi, Chopper, and Usopp; the latter three had found time to meet up, it seemed. Chopper leapt up when he saw Sanji and pulled him to sit down, checking his pulse and his pupils. Sanji looked up at the enormous guy tending to him and was speechless.

Zoro chuckled as he sat down opposite to Sanji. "That's Chopper. He's the one who took care of you at the hospital."

"This guy? He looks like a beast!"

"Hey! I'm not a beast! Oh, you seem to have recovered really well, by the way," Chopper said. "Your eyes are responding to the light well, and your body is—"

"Alright, doctor, if he's fine then he's fine," Zoro interrupted. As Chopper punched him (he winced and rubbed his arm ruefully) he looked around. "Did you guys get your drinks already?"

Franky looked at Zoro over his sunglasses. "Are you kidding me? It's Thursday night. You know what that means."

Zoro suddenly grinned and nodded. "Oh, yeah. The Shigan Special, right? I completely forgot about that." The rest of the group clapped excitedly as Sanji looked around in confusion.

"Oh! Guys, this is Sanji!" Luffy exclaimed. As introductions went around, Sanji immediately bent on one knee as he held Robin and Vivi by the hand (Tashigi had looked at him oddly and refused to give him hers; she recognized him from when he had tried to woo her after she had dispatched Buggy earlier that day).

"Ah, for such roses to exist in this garden—" Sanji began, but was interrupted by a cough behind him. He turned around and his mouth dropped open as he saw a slim woman in a black, fitted skirt waiting impatiently for him to stop. "Ah! Mellorine!"

"So where's the booze, Kalifa?" Zoro demanded cheekily. "C'mon, we all know that you were expecting us."

"Just a moment. Sir, are you aware that your actions could be construed as sexual harassment?" Kalifa stated flatly, glaring at Sanji. She slapped his hand away as he began to spew compliments. "Lucci is bringing your drinks. Blueno was unable to make it tonight, but I assure you that Lucci is more than capable." Wild cheers and hoots could be heard coming from the bar, and she smiled wanly. "It sounds like he's on his way."

The man approaching them with the trays balanced perfectly on his arms and head glowered at the cheering club-goers and set his load on the table without a single drop spilled on his black slacks or vest. The trays held mugs of some form of alcohol; Sanji could smell the raw spirits and knew that this wasn't a normal cocktail party. Lucci was good-looking in a way that was refined enough to be cultured, but rough enough to suggest violence and bloodlust. His dark eyes surveyed the group and stopped on Sanji.

"I don't believe we've met before. My name is Lucci."

Sanji held out a hand, and only barely managed to keep from wincing under the other man's grip. "I'm Sanji. Nice to meet you."

Lucci nodded and gestured to the trays he had set out. "Tonight's Shigan Special. You know the rules. Two players will face two challengers from the crowd. Each team must finish their drinks within a specified time limit and will go on the dance floor to pole dance." Lucci's face twitched when he said 'pole dance,' as though it was too vulgar a concept for him to mention. "Whoever receives the best reaction from the crowd wins and gets free drinks, compliments of the losing team. Who will be playing tonight?"

Zoro immediately slammed a fist down. "I'm down for it. Who's with me?" Franky opened his mouth, but Zoro cut him off. "Hell, no. Last time you were arrested for public indecency. We really don't need to see the tattoo you got from your college frat again."

"I'll do it," a sultry voice said. Sanji looked up and gaped. He got an eyeful of tanned skin, hard muscles, and sweat running down a chest exposed by an open shirt. Baggy jeans just barely hung on hips that swayed with every movement, and Sanji found that it was difficult to swallow. Dark, wavy locks of hair covered twinkling eyes and a smattering of freckles over a gorgeous smile.

What the hell? This guy…he's a guy, Sanji thought to himself. Pull yourself together, you idiot! Look at all these beautiful women!

"Hey, Ace!" Luffy greeted the other man excitedly. "How'd you do tonight?"

Ace pulled a wad of crumpled bills—some with phone numbers scrawled across—from his pockets and waist. "Those chicks are so generous, Luffy. I love them all."

"Pimp," Usopp coughed.

Ace laughed. "Of course. So, who's willing to face us? I doubt there's anyone who has the balls to do it."

Two men walked from the crowd that had formed around their table. One had a mohawk and intricate tribal tattoos that ran across his face and a torso that was revealed by a partially-unbuttoned shirt. The other wore round sunglasses and wore a shorter mohawk. They were both dark-skinned and looked extremely confident.

"Ah, cousins," Robin greeted them. "Everyone, meet Wiper and Kamakiri. They're visiting Navarone this week."

"You're related?" Chopper asked in surprise.

"Vaguely," Wiper supplied. His voice was deep and serious, although a hint of humor could be seen in the depths of his dark eyes. "We still consider each other as cousins, though. Perhaps even siblings."

"Well then, come on and sit down!" Ace said happily. "I hope you fellows brought your wallets, because we're sure as hell not going to pay for all of this."

Kamakiri smiled thinly. "We could say the same of you."

Lucci and Kalifa arranged the glasses of drinks equally before both groups. "The time limit for your beverages is one hour. As long as the drinks are collectively finished by a team, then that's fine. Ready? Set. Go!" Each man grabbed a cup and immediately began to drink. Sanji watched in fascination as he saw that all the men were seasoned drinkers—not a single drop fell down their chins, and he could see their throats bobbing expertly as they drank without a hitch. They drank…and drank…and drank.

"Isn't this kind of dangerous?" Sanji whispered to Chopper. "I mean, you're a doctor after all."

Chopper sighed. "I thought so before, too, but Zoro has a general plan with this game that tends to work. He picks a really good dance partner and does most of the drinking himself. I tried to talk him out of doing this, but his body metabolizes the alcohol oddly. I did blood tests, and the alcohol barely gets absorbed—it mostly just passes through his system harmlessly. Weird, huh?"

Sanji nodded and turned to the table. He could see that Ace had stopped drinking, although he could see an impressive number of empty cups in front of the man.

"Alright, Zoro. You do your thing," Ace said with a grin. "I've reached my limit. Any more and Smoker will be coming after me again if I do something drunk again. He actually fined me the other day just for driving around without a shirt—can you believe that? I mean, he claims that it was because I was driving around 100 miles per hour, but I know he just wanted to take an eyeful."

Zoro snorted into his cup but gulped the last of the alcohol. Sanji picked up an empty cup and sniffed. It smelled a bit like beer, but he couldn't really tell. Give him a good cup of wine or coffee, and he could tell from a mile off, but he wasn't particularly familiar with beer or hard liquors.

Wiper and Kamakiri were beginning to slow down slightly, but Zoro was still going strong. Kamakiri stopped drinking, and it was a drinking battle between Zoro and Wiper. Apparently, the two challengers had the same mentality and strategy as Zoro and Ace did.

"Ten minutes left."

Zoro grabbed the last cup at the same time as Wiper did. They drank in synch, and slammed their cups down at the same time. "Go!" they gasped, wiping their mouths.

"You're a pretty good drinker," Wiper groaned, watching as Kamakiri and Ace leapt down to the dance floor and jumped onto the platforms.

"You're not too bad yourself. This was fun," Zoro replied.

"They're break dancing!" Usopp yelled, running to the crowded railing. This was where the real entertainment began. "Aren't they supposed to be on the poles, though?"

"If they both agree to the same form of dance, then that is permissible," Lucci said flatly. "Do you desire to see them on the poles, Usopp?"

"N-no, Lucci," Usopp stuttered, backing up slightly. "This is fine!"

Kamakiri moved with grace and strength reminiscent of Tai Chi, and he coolly performed handstands and flips without a hitch in his movement; he was like water, flowing and smooth. Ace, however, was on fire—his moves were wild and unpredictable, hot and seductive as he rolled his hips and moved his body in ways that made the girls scream and the guys cheer.

Ace looked at the platform and then back at Kamakiri. "Want to try it out?"

Kamakiri smirked, his cheeks flushed from the drinking and exertion. "If you're up to it, then let's do it." They jumped onto the platforms and began to dance.

"Woah, I've never seen Ace pull that move before."

"Wiper, where did Kamakiri learn that from? Last time I saw him, he was quite shy."

"We've been traveling a lot. You'd be surprised what he could do now, Robin."

"If I was a chick, I'd so totally dig what they were doing now."

"Yeah, you make it sound like you don't enjoy it, Franky."

"Is it safe for him to bend like that?"

"Shishishi, I saw Ace pulling that one off when I walked in on him and this girl!"

"Luffy...oh, forget it."

Lucci walked the display silently and made his way to the DJ's stage. He whispered to the long-nosed man controlling the music, who nodded in understanding. A loud and cheerful voice boomed over the speakers.

"Alright everyone, this is it! This week's Shigan Special will be determined by the power of your voice! I want y'all to cheer if you're digging Kamakiri, the fellow with the shades!" A powerful wave of shrieks and cheers rose from the crowd. "Now, who thinks that Ace is the—" Before he could even finish his sentence, the crowd went wild. Sanji winced as he covered his ears, trying to block out the deafening noise. "Ah, I guess that settles it. The winners are Zoro and Ace! Good job, you guys!"

Zoro grinned and held a hand out to Wiper. "Good try, rookie."

Wiper scoffed and slapped his hand into Zoro's. Everyone watched in interest as their grips tightened in a test of strength. They finally mutually broke apart, smiling slightly before Wiper went to find Kamakiri. Ace returned and laughed heartily.

"Silly boys," Robin sighed as Vivi nodded solemnly in agreement.

"Free drinks! This is the life," Ace said happily. "Kalifa, dear, could you get us a round of martinis? You know, something nice and fruity to calm down a bit."

Zoro leaned back as everyone settled into conversation. He was still stoked from his match against Wiper, and looked forward to meeting up with that guy again; maybe he'd invite him to Baroque Works for a sparring session. Wiper looked like a pretty fit guy—despite the fact that he must have been a heavy drinker, his abs were still well-defined and his chest was as solid as a warrior's.

"You're a beast, man." Sanji took a seat next to Zoro after Kalifa had told him that she would call the police if he continued to flirt shamelessly with her. "Drinking that much isn't human."

"Maybe I'm not human, then."

"Yeah, you must be a Martian. Green hair and all. So, why don't you tell me a little more about your group? I was kind of just, um, whisked here by your friend over there, so it's weird, you know? I still don't know why I'm here."

"Well, Luffy's just like that. If he likes you, then he'll just befriend you like it's nothing. He and his brother own the Galley-La apartments. They're pretty well-off because of it. Franky's an engineer—I think he works for the government, because his work hours are weird as hell. He has blueprints of all these machines and ships in his house that no one can understand at all, except for maybe Usopp. Usopp's the guy with the long nose. He's…well, he does everything, it you ask him. He's dabbled in engineering and architecture, but he's a writer for the most part. His series of children's books, 'Captain Usopp's Adventures,' are pretty popular. Chopper's the big one. He might be a giant, but he's a damned good doctor."

"What about the ladies?" Sanji asked anxiously. "The guys sound cool but…the ladies, Zoro!"

"Tch, the ladies." Zoro looked uncomfortable for a moment as he paused. "Vivi's the daughter of this big-shot banker. Robin is a history professor at the Navarone University. I heard that a bunch of guys take her class because she's hot, but they go crazy because of the work load. Tashigi works at the police department. She's pretty strong."

"That was a pretty brief introduction. I guess I'll have to speak to them more in-depth myself," Sanji said with a lewd smile. "I met Tashigi earlier today, during a little incident at the coffeehouse." Zoro raised an eyebrow as he remembered Tashigi alluding to it before, but was interrupted by Franky.

Franky leaned over and laughed, his cheeks red from drinking. "Ah, Zoro? Yeaaah, 'course he won't be saying much 'bout the ladies. Awkward, you know? I mean, th're cool now, but the transsssition from dating to being jus' friends wasn't smooth at all."

"D-dating?! You've dated all these lovely women?" Sanji growled at Zoro, taking care to not let his voice carry over too far. "They're so elegant, and lovely!"

Zoro shifted awkwardly. "Yeah. It didn't really end that well, though. I mean, they were all mutual understandings but that doesn't change the fact that being friends is weird after you've been screwing—"

"ACK! I don't want to hear about your conquests," Sanji sputtered. "I can't believe they went out with a Neanderthal like you."

Robin heard that last comment and sidled over to sit with them, running one hand lightly along Zoro's shoulders. "Oh, Zoro? He's quite the gentleman, surprisingly. Of course, it doesn't hurt when he dresses decently." She frowned at his ensemble. "You're wearing a sweatsuit, Zoro. To the Cipher Pol. I can't believe Jyabura let you through like that."

"They don't care. My little display with the Shigan Special is enough to draw more people than they could ever get otherwise. Blueno told me that the nights I come for that are the ones that the bar sales peak."

"But still, didn't Vivi and I get you a nice wardrobe?"

"Well…it's still in my closet somewhere. I don't need to wear it for work or anything."

Vivi moved to sit next to them as well, tiring of listening to Luffy and Usopp gush about their latest Halo victories. "Zoro, just because you're used to living like a bum doesn't mean you should keep living like one. What have you been eating at home lately, anyway?"

"Well, there was some bread—"

"—and I'll bet that it's the bread we dropped off the last time we were there. Really, Zoro, we need to find time to go shopping," Vivi said firmly. Zoro shuddered at the suggestion and didn't respond. Robin looked at Sanji and brightened as she took in his trim appearance—dark jeans accented by a leather belt, a dark blue button-down Banana Republic shirt that he had changed into after work, and shining leather shoes. Simple, but versatile.

"Perhaps you could help him, Sanji," Robin suggested. "It might be presumptuous after having just met, but…" She leaned over and stroked Sanji's chin gently, making him shiver delightfully. "It would mean so much to us if you could help him. You look like the kind of man who knows about style." She smiled, making his heart melt.

"Mellorine~! Of course!"

---

"Why are we doing this?" Zoro grumbled, scratching his neck in annoyance.

"Because Robin asked me to," Sanji replied simply. His face said That's all the reason I need, isn't it?

"You only met her last night. Don't you have the café to attend?"

"Closing for one day won't kill me. Besides, most people are still working or are at school at this hour, so business is slow. Do you have to work?"

"I have the day off."

"I see. Well, let's take a look at your apartment, shall we?"

Zoro shook his head and led the way. He couldn't believe how things had turned out. It had only been two days since he'd first laid eyes on Sanji, but here they were getting ready to pick out furniture. What the heck. He hardly even knew the guy, and now they were acting like damned newlyweds or something.

No. Not newlyweds. Um…really good friends?

Damn Luffy and his friendliness. Damn Robin and her manipulative abilities.

"Wow, this place is pretty nice. You really live here?"

"Yep. I moved here while I went to the University. It's not too far from work, and my friends live around here, so it's a good location." Zoro bypassed the elevator and led the way up to his floor.

"We couldn't have just used the elevator?"

"What, are you tired, cook?"

"It would have been faster. And simpler. And…more logical."

"Tch. The elevator is still too slow. Here we are. Take off your shoes before you enter."

"Wow, this place is a dump." Sanji looked around at the flat in disgust. "Even my place is better than this."

"It's not a dump!"

"Compared to the rest of the building, it is. Or compared to that cardboard box that I saw a homeless man living in. I mean, it could look really nice if it didn't look like…this. You don't utilize your space at all! A beanbag chair? Really? You don't even have a couch! And…" Sanji walked briskly to the kitchen, throwing the fridge door open. He winced. "There's egg yolk spilled in here. And I definitely don't want to know what used to be in that take-out box."

"Might've been the Thai food from a few weeks ago. It's still good."

"I think the mold has evolved and eaten your food." Sanji closed the door and went into the bedroom. "The place is pretty big, though. Woah. Where did you get this mattress—from the University dorms?" Sanji squinted at the worn mattress, as though he was trying to block it from his sight but couldn't quite tear his eyes away.

"Yeah. Someone threw it out, so I took it after I found it on the street."

"…"

"What?"

"You're getting a new mattress. Why don't you have a bed frame?"

"I like to sleep close to the floor."

"Well, we'll find a low one, then." Sanji opened the dressed and scowled. "Please don't tell me that you store your dirty underwear in here."

"I haven't done my laundry yet. So shoot me."

"I really want to kill you right now." Sanji perused the closet, whose contents looked untouched. "Your friends have good taste. You should appreciate this a little more, you ingrate."

"Are you going to just walk around and criticize my house, or are you going to do something?"

Sanji sighed. "This calls for an immediate plan of action. How much are you willing to spend?"

"Nothing." The phone rang, and Zoro went back into the living room to pick it up. "Hello?...oh, hey Robin. Is that Vivi I heard in the background? What's up…yeah, he's here. He's being a total asshole…what? Wait, say that—Robin, just because Mihawk's paying me well doesn't mean I should just blow it on—oh. Come on, Robin. Don't bring that up, I was really drunk—fine. I understand. Don't think you can just—yeah, you too. Goodbye."

"Was that Robin?"

"Yeah. Er…" Zoro sighed heavily and dug into his sweatpants pocket. He pulled out a beaten leather wallet and reluctantly pulled out a Visa card. "Um…she told me…well…use this today." Sanji took the card, after prying it from Zoro's hands.

"So I can go all-out?"

"Don't be wasteful. Get some good-quality stuff."

"You make it sound like you're not coming with me."

"I hate shopping."

"Unless you want me to max out your credit card, I suggest you come with me."

"Ugh, fine!"

---

"This is the worst fucking experience in my life. Even worse than eating stale natto."

"Quiet, you cabbage-head. We're almost done."

"Almost? What do you mean, almost? Isn't this our last stop?"

"We're stopping by Trader Joe's to get you some real food."

"I won't eat it if it has the words 'whole grain' or 'organic' on it."

"It's good for you. You'll live longer and better."

"Says the smoker. Just…pay for this so we can leave. I don't see why I need all of these cooking utensils. I'll just go out and eat."

"One day you'll thank me for this. Besides, you should take a cooking class. What if there's a day when all the restaurants are closed?"

"Panda Express is always open when I need it. It's more faithful than a woman that way, and cheaper, too."

"That's a sick metaphor."

"It's not that bad."

"You're right. Well, I'll show you how to boil water so you can at least make hard-boiled eggs and pasta."

"Very funny, cook."

"Did that sound like a joke?"

---

"What the hell is hummus?"

"Try it. You'll like it." The two of them were sitting cross-legged on boxes that held all the furniture that Sanji had bought with Zoro that day.

"That's what my mom used to tell me. I still don't like cauliflower."

"Here. You put it on the pita bread and then put it in your mouth. Basic mastication," Sanji said as Zoro snorted. "Mastication. You know, the art of chewing. Even cows can do it. Not…Oh, grow up, would you?"

"Can we just set everything up? All these boxes are completely throwing off the feng shui of my apartment."

"You follow stuff like that?"

"No. But I was convincing, wasn't I?"

Sanji sighed. "Let's set everything up, then. I'm throwing your beanbag chair out, by the way. And your mattress. Your fridge will stay until the new one gets delivered. The television, too."

"Sure. Go ahead, gut my apartment. It's only my stuff."

"We got enough stuff to replace all that crap, anyway."

"Hey! That beanbag chair has a lot of memories!" Zoro protested as Sanji gingerly picked up the chair.

Sanji looked at the misshapen chair in his hands and made a mental note to thoroughly wash his hands later.

"The first thing we'll set up is the TV, since it's smack dab in the middle of everything," he said, kicking the beanbag chair near the door. He had to admit, though, that the squashy chair was well-made—it didn't even rip a little when he kicked it. "Then, there's the furniture. Leather's always nice, and it's easier to wipe off spills even if it's a pain in the ass to get it cleaned." He pulled a roll of masking tape from his pocket. "After we set up the TV, I'll show you where to put everything."

"Just throw it all against the wall."

"No. That's stupid."

"You're stupid."

"Okay, this is getting a little too immature," Sanji sighed, ignoring Zoro. "Let's just put everything together, okay?"

They managed to put everything together without killing each other, although there were some close calls. They argued over everything—where to put things, how to angle them, whether Philips screwdrivers were better than flatheads, just to name a few—but in the end, all the furnishings were complete.

Sanji immediately took control again. "Okay, take this chaise lounge—"

"The what?"

Sanji rolled his eyes and pointed at the long sofa. "That…sofa. Lounge chair. The long one, right there. Yes, that one. We're putting it parallel to the wall so we can form a little circle around the TV. Do you see what I'm getting at?"

"No. It's a complete waste of space." Zoro stuck his bottom lip out obstinately.

The two men glared at each other, feeling the tides of impending battle rising in their blood.