Thanks for the reviews :)
Maddie: it gets brought up in this chapter and later ones

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Cigarette between the lips, lighter out, light up and take a drag. Sawyer done this many a time, especially in the past few weeks, he and Nikki had been dating for the past three years and he had ended it when she wanted things to get more serious. He didn't feel as if he was ready to make a commitment as she had suggested, not the 'm' word… she wanted something along the lines of the 'c' word- children. He didn't think he would make a good father, he didn't want the responsibility and he had never wanted children anyways. Ever since he first had sex, he made sure that he wouldn't knock anyone up; offspring were not high on his list of enjoyable activities.

It was annoying, all his friends and all his colleagues at work always teased him about not being married or having any children, apparently being twenty-five and not making life plans was something only fools done. Sawyer groaned and lay back on his bed, the sheets smelled of Nikki's perfume, she had moved out two weeks earlier and he had washed them numerous times, but still, they reeked of her. He actually felt sorry for Nikki, throughout their relationship she had said she loved him but he couldn't return his love… as there was none. He liked her a lot but he had never found anyone else that he really loved as he did with Kate. Kate. Anytime he heard that name he looked around to see if it was her.

Sawyer didn't know how he felt about her; sure he loved her still… but seven years and not a single word? Ever since she left, completely cutting him out of her life, he hadn't been able to rationally think about relationships or females. To try and get over her, he dated a lot and done things he later regretted and nothing shut down the part of his brain that lingered over Miss Austen. He found it strange that Shannon and Juliet said that she never contacted them; he hoped that she would call them so he could get a hold of her, but apparently she hadn't. One day he overheard Juliet talking to Shannon saying how Kate's dad had passed away earlier that evening, thinking that it was strange, he tried to look up all the news segments for every state… and nothing.

Later he found out that they had been lying to him, that she had been contacting them but every time he asked for her number or her address they refused, claiming that they didn't know as the number was 'withheld'. Sawyer always got pissed off at them, whenever he asked them how she was doing or why she wouldn't talk to him, they got a look in their eye and said she was okay… that she was always okay. Sawyer stubbed out the rest of the cigarette in the ashtray and got up from the bed; he went into the living room and switched on the television. Sawyer stopped what he was doing, listening to a noise that was faint. He got up from the sofa and headed towards the apartment door, someone was using a key.

He sighed, it was probably Nikki looking for him to rant at him or to beg for him to take her back, it was getting beyond sad; he had never met such an obsessive woman. The door clicked as it was unlocked and it slowly got pushed open, revealing a bright and happy Juliet. Sawyer sighed relief and smiled at her as she pulled in a pram behind her. "James, how are you?" Juliet said hugging him; Sawyer held her tight and said "honestly, I feel like shit" Juliet pulled back and stared at him sadly "You'll get over her James, there's plenty…" Sawyer cut in mockingly "More fish in the sea, yeah, yeah"

He paused and added "more importantly, how are you?" Juliet smiled widely and pulled the pram over towards the sofa and she sat down "I'm good, well I'm a bit tired, getting woke up during the middle of the night" she tipped her head towards the sleeping baby. Sawyer smiled and glanced at the baby, he was fond of the baby, he was the only child under the age of eighteen that he actually like being near or looking after. Juliet lightly smiled at the look Sawyer was giving her son. "Jules, you comin ta 'bama with me next week" Sawyer asked. Juliet paused for a moment before replying amusingly "I don't know yet… I'd love to come but y'know how protective Jack gets when were not within a five mile radius"

Sawyer grinned "you're more than five miles away from the hospital the now" Juliet cocked her eyebrow and laughed "Yeah, he'll sense that we aren't and call a search party" they both laughed. "I'll talk to him, I'd like to go with you" Juliet said nicely. Sawyer nodded his head and replied "Thanks Julie" Juliet smiled and looked at her baby boy, one of the main reasons for going was so that she could get a hold of Kate and tell her that Sawyer was in the area, so she could lay low for a while, as they had always done. It wasn't that she wanted to hurt her cousin by hiding the girl he loved, it was at the wishes of Kate, she didn't think it was a good idea letting him find out a secret that had been kept for over seven years.

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"You've booked a decent hotel, suitable room and close to civilisation, haven't you?!" Jack asked for the fifth time. Sawyer groaned and said "Yeah, I have, so stop askin me" Jack shot him a look "Well its my child and my wife's safety that's involved, so I just want to make sure" Sawyer grinned "She aint your wife yet Jacko" Jack sighed and gave him a look that said you know what I mean. "Jack, I'll be fine and so will Scott, stop worrying okay" Juliet said forcefully, Jack smiled and brought his arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer. Juliet smiled and leaned in to place her lips on his.

Sawyer rolled his eyes and looked away- they two were still sickeningly sweet as they were when they were teenagers. A beeping sound went off and they all looked at Jack's pager that sat on his belt. He was an intern at the local hospital and usually had to run at a moments notice. "Sorry, gotta run" Jack said apologetically, he kissed Juliet on the lips quickly and then kissed his baby in the carry chair. He picked his jacket up from where it rested on Juliet's overnight bag and waved goodbye to Sawyer and headed for his car. They both watched him go out the terminal door and then back to the check in desk.

"Sawyer? Juliet?" a heavily accented voice asked, they turned around and saw Sayid smiling at them. "Oh My God, Sayid, it's been a long time!" Juliet screeched throwing her arms around his neck. Sayid laughed and hugged her back "Yeah, it's been a while" Sawyer tipped his head and extended his hand towards his old friend, Sayid took his hand and shook it. "Nice ta see ya Sayid" Sawyer said with a light smiling playing on his face. "You too… where are you headed to?" he asked them. Juliet smiled and said "Alabama… going for a few days for some family business" Sawyer nodded in agreement. Sayid tipped his head and smiled lightly "I'm going back to New York… I was just over for a few days to see my mother"

"How's Shannon?" Juliet asked out of curiosity. Sayid's head fell slightly and he sighed "at the moment, not too well… we seem to fight more than we talk lately" Sawyer nodded and said "It'll pass Mohammed" Sayid smiled at Sawyers kind words and said "Hopefully my friend… well I better go and check in before I miss my flight… see you around sometime" they said their goodbyes and headed to there flight check in desks to hand over their luggage. Sawyer and Juliet didn't have to wait long, until there flight to Birmingham airport was called and was boarded. Sawyer sat in the seat next to the aisle, thinking over what time of year it was… it was November and it was his parents his parents 18th year anniversary. He thought it would be another sad day as he remembered them, but little did he know, something major was about to happen and confuse the hell out of him.

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Kate was sitting on her sofa, bored out of her mind. She had the day off from work and Jaime was at a play date with Aarons Nephew. Flicking through the TV was getting on her nerves, nothing good was on, and it was the same mindless talk shows and news programs that she honestly couldn't care about. She stood up and went into her bathroom to take a quick shower before going out for a walk. She showered quickly, dripping wet with a towel wrapped around her she went into her bedroom to see what she could wear that day. After drying herself and choosing a pair of faded denims and a smock top, she felt around the top shelf to find her makeup box… but was hit on the head by another box lying beside the makeup one.

Kate regarded the box with curiosity; she slowly lifted the lid up and looked inside. There were a couple of sheets of paper lying on top of the rest of the things; they were important certificates, of life and of death. She read the top one; it was Jaime's, she smiled weakly as she read over the information she already knew. Shannon Jaime Austen, born 08:43, 22nd of October 2007, 7lb 8oz, Father: James Ford. She still wanted the father box to be filled out so that Jaime knew that she did have a father somewhere, even if she wasn't going to tell said father. Kate sat the certificate down on the bed and picked up the second one.

Kates smile faltered as she read her little boys certificate. Samuel Shawn Austen, born 08:47, 22nd of October 2007, 4lb 9oz, Father: James Ford. Kate ran her thumb over the side of the paper without realising it; she sighed deeply and sat it down with the other.She wiped away a tear and flicked through the rest of the things in the box; eventually she placed the certificates back in the box and safely put it back where she found it. Kate sighed and decided to go out for a walk to clear her head. Kate crossed her arms over in front of her to add more warmth, the wind was light but it had an icy chill through it.

She slowly walked down the street, barely taking in her surroundings, over the past seven years whenever she got upset, she would go long walked and come back late at night, feeling a lot more refreshed. Kate went to Starbucks and bought a coffee, she tightened her grip on the cup, enjoying the heat it provided. The coffee provided warmth and it boosted her energy, Kate passed a flower shop and she let her eyes linger on them. She weakly smiled and went into the shop; she looked around to select a neat looking bouquet. Kate paid for them and headed towards the cemetery.

She walked down the familiar route of roads and gravel pathways until she slowed down and came to a halt in front of her father's burial place. Kate walked up to the headstone and used her scarf to wipe away the faint layer of dust that rested on it. "Hi Daddy" she whispered. Kate looked down to the ground and unwrapped the plastic from the bouquet, separating some of the flowers and she placed them in the holders at each end of the stone. She placed a kiss on the pads of her fingers then placed them on top of the headstone, letting a small sad smile appear on her lips.

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The water sprayed down on to his chest and then the droplets of water ran down his stomach and past his thighs till they reached the small pool water at his feet. Sawyer closed his eyes and let his head fall under the spray of warm water. Sawyer massaged the shampoo into his lengthy hair, he had gotten used to having his hair be just a bit longer than it needed. He quickly dried himself and pulled on a pair of fresh jeans, he roughly rubbed a towel over his head to try and get his hair dried quicker. He stepped into the bedroom area and shut his eyes quickly, groaning out loud "Oh god, Jules!"

Juliet looked up at him with an amused look dancing across her face "James, it's perfectly natural and normal!" she said, at that moment she was breastfeeding her son, not at all in the least bit phased about her cousin being in the room. His eyes were still shut as he moaned at her "come on, I don't wanna see you naked, that's just wrong!" Juliet laughed and placed Scott in the crib, she pulled up her top and sat back on the wooden chair "Okay, you can look now" Sawyer slowly opened his eyes and smiled sarcastically at her and then went through his bag, looking for a shirt.

"You wanna go to the cemetery soon, then get something ta eat or food first?" he asked sliding his shirt on and buttoning it up. Juliet shifted her smile to one side in thought, she smacked her lips and said "Not too bothered… its up to you James" he nodded and proceeded to pull on his boots. Sawyer propped his elbows on his knees and placed his head on his hands, letting a sigh escape his lips. Juliet leaned foreword and stated "You still miss Nikki don't you" Sawyer glanced over at her and shrugged "It's just every time she mentioned kids, it got me thinkin of that time with Kate" Juliet froze, her face giving nothing away and said "What time?"

Sawyer looked up at her and said "She didn't tell you?" Juliet shook her head and he added "Oh… when she was sixteen, eh… we had a pregnancy scare" he looked away shyly. Juliet nodded "that must have been hard" Sawyer smiled weakly "Yeah… but when she told me… I couldn't help but think, that I actually wanted ta have a kid… with her because I genuinely thought we'd be together… forever" he sighed and looked down, slightly embarrassed by what he was telling her. Juliet smiled, she had never heard him speak like that before, she felt guilty for lying to him in the past seven years but she didn't want to ruin anything.

Sawyer groaned and rubbed his hands over his face. "Well… let's get goin" he smiled and tilted his head. Juliet stood up and smiled, she picked up Scott and Sawyer grabbed the car seat they had brought. They got ready and headed out of the hotel room.

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The sound of gravel crunching under the tyres disrupted the silence in the rental car. Sawyer was lost in thought; he always went quiet and thought about everything at this time of year. One of the repeating thoughts was that: would his life be different if they were still alive? Would he have chosen a different path, would he have ever moved to Illinois and met the people he knew today? Sawyer took a deep breath and stopped the car, getting out hesitantly. Juliet was holding Scott on her hip, she reached over and squeezed Sawyers arm supportively. She smiled at him and they walked up the path towards his parent's final resting place.

Juliet helped Sawyer give the two headstones a quick wipe down and she arranged the flowers they bought. Sawyer shifted his weight so that he was leaning into his cousin; Juliet rested her head against his shoulder and sighed. Sawyer looked to the ground, then shifted his gaze and caught the sight of a thin brunette standing in the next row towards the end of the line. His gaze lingered on her and his mouth slowly opened in shock. Is it really her? Is that Kate? He scrunched his eyebrows together and froze, he couldn't move, he couldn't believe it was her… it definitely was her, he could spot her out of a crowd anywhere and after so long.

The figure turned around slightly and looked straight at them, he felt strange inside, it actually was her. She spun around quickly, avoiding his gaze and tried to ignore him. His face lit up and he began to smile, he tapped Juliet's hand, still looking at the brunette down the path. "Kate" he whispered. Juliet looked at him curiously and then followed the direction of his gaze… it was her. He faced Juliet and said "Its Kate, it's really her!" Juliet stumbled on her words "eh… you sure?! It might be someone else" Sawyer shook his head and glanced at her, roughly saying "It's her Julie" he passed by the headstone and walked onto the next gravel pathway.

He slowly started his walk down to the other end, he couldn't describe what he was feeling, he was overcome by happiness because it was her, that he'd waited over seven years to see her again but the negative part of his brain was yelling at him because she'd been in Alabama the whole time and he had never noticed her. His stomach was twisting and turning, it felt as if it was tying itself into knots as he was getting closer. Sawyer started to pick up the pace to reach her faster, but as he came closer she spun around and ran… she ran as fast as she could.

Sawyer paused for a moment wondering why she ran but he shook it from his brain and ran after her, he saw her just a bit in front of him but when he turned the corner, she was gone. He slowed to a jog, and then completely stopped, looking around to see if he could see her… but she was gone. Sawyer doubled over, resting his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and Juliet came jogging up behind him. He glanced over at her from underneath his long hair and gasped "She's here Jules… it is her" Juliet stopped and looked at him wearily, nodding unsure of what to say.

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