AN: Thank you for all the lovely reviews, as promised here is the next chapter. I think I'm going to try and update every weekend and then Wednesday/Thursday. Hope you enjoy this one.
Robert had felt the first two months of his marriage had been a success. The further two, not so much, Cora was becoming more and more distant as every day went by. On the morning of their five and half month anniversary his worry had mounted. Cora was taking to spending at least one night a week with a dinner tray in bed rather than joining them downstairs for dinner. It concerned Robert, Cora had been such a bubbly character when he had first met her yet now she was a skeleton of a person, a phantom that walks in the gardens and avoids his mother at all costs.
Robert knows his mother's remarks don't help, her constant berating at the lack of child. Robert is fully aware Cora feels uncomfortable during her monthlies and he thought of all people his mother would understand and leave her alone at such a time. But the opposite was true. A month ago when she'd accused the lack of a child down to Cora's nationality Robert had lost his rag. Her beauty, intelligence and her whole personality, as well as her accent that he adored so much, were down to her nationality and for his mother to insult her, anyone, in fact on something that had no choice over was ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. The problem was he was in a difficult position, his mother is an integral part of his family, more so than Cora and he couldn't very well stand up against her every time she said something silly. Besides, Cora was going to have to learn to deal with his mother, without his help.
Another matter that had progressed rapidly in the last month was his sister's marriage. He knew the girls, as he liked to call them, had grown close, but the constant visits of Mr Painswick and the love that radiates between his sister and the gentleman had caused a chasm between the girls. Robert didn't think there was much he could do. He knows Cora loves him. But to lead her on, as his sister had suggested, with false feelings was something he couldn't do. Not just to make Cora feel less jealous of his sister and her fiancé. He couldn't do it, not to Cora. Not to sweet, funny, beautiful Cora.
Robert is aware he is partly to blame for Cora distancing herself from the family. He avoids her as much as possible but only because he can't work out what he feels for her. When he is with her and she is happy, as had been so on their honeymoon, he wanted to do nothing but spend all his time with her but only when the strange feelings that fluttered in his chest weren't there. Since the second month of their marriage those fluttering sensations had become impossible to ignore. They scared him. They were unfamiliar and terrifying. And he was totally aware they were to do with Cora. These sensations were the main reason for his timetabled visits to her room, he hated the thought of being unable to control the flutters, he was English after all. His timetabled visits were certainly not because he didn't want to spend his nights with Cora doing their duty. He really did. He loved being able to hold her so close. Not only was it the fluttering that deterred him but Cora's reactions, each time it seemed as if she was enjoying it less and less, on their honeymoon she'd relished in his touch but not now. She said she was fine and that he wasn't hurting her, but he was unconvinced. Was he too overpowering? He doubted it, Cora was quite forward in bed and Robert had been very pleasantly surprised on their wedding night when she had not just laid still and 'thought of England.' He adored the feeling of her hands roaming his body. Dreams of her naked body against his woke him most nights and the dawning realisation that she had that much power over him was terrifying. How could he have such a heightened sexual desire for a woman he didn't love? Wasn't the desire he felt for Cora similar to the desire Rosamund described as having for Mr Painswick, and she certainly loved him? Was there something wrong with him?
As Robert strolls into the dining room that morning he stops dead in his tracks. Cora stands by the sideboard as radiant as ever in an orange gown, her hair piled on her head and a few loose curls hanging down her neck. The fluttering in his chest soars to uncontrollable levels before he can so much as try to direct his thoughts away from her, unexpected encounters having left him with his defences down. She turns to him as he enters and gives him a weak smile.
"Morning Robert."
"Morning, I wasn't expecting to see you down for breakfast."
"I woke early and couldn't bear being...never mind." She looks away but not before Robert sees the water sparkle in her eyes. 'Lonely,' she feels lonely in her bedroom, he's sure that's what she was about to say.
On their honeymoon she'd tried and tried to persuade him to stay the night with her but he'd always find excuses about it not being proper, and in deed it wasn't, but that wasn't what really kept him from her bedroom. It was the worry of waking next to her after one of his sensual dreams and being unable to resist her. It wasn't fair to her if he became one of those demanding, harsh husbands, besides he didn't want to be one.
"Do you miss your parents and brother very much?"
"No, I was never that close to them." Robert takes her hand that rests on the sideboard and rubs his thumb over it.
"Cora, it's alright to admit to feeling homesick." She pulls her hand away.
"It's not though, is it. What would your mother say? Besides. I'm not homesick, I'm...it doesn't matter." She turns to the table as the words 'lovesick' swirls in Robert's mind. She wants to be loved. Loved by the man she loves. But he can't, he absolutely can't lead her on like that. He'd promised her he'd try to make her happy and he's sure that lying to her about his feelings would not make her happy. Not only does she want honesty in marriage but she'd see right through him, she knows he doesn't love her. Furthermore to mess with any woman's feelings, let alone a woman in love, is wrong, utterly wrong. He'd told himself on numerous occasions that perhaps the irritating flutterings were a good thing. They kept him away from Cora and in turn protected her from disappointment and that was the most important thing. Cora had to be happy.
Rosamund swings into the room a moment later breaking the awkward silence between the young couple.
"Why the long faces you two? You're meant to be happy for me. Mama has finally set the date for my wedding. September 29th." Robert sees Cora swallow and take a long swig of her tea.
"Congratulations I know how happy you are with Mr Painswick."
"Really Robert, call him Marmaduke."
"I am interested to know how you managed to bring Mama around."
"She caught him leaving my room this morning and called me 'ruined' or something. I took no notice though, I was too overjoyed that it finally meant we could marry." Robert stares at his sister, horrified.
"You-you and Marmaduke, you-"
"Oh really Robert, I thought you of all people would understand. I grant you, the original plan was for Marmaduke to just be caught exiting my room, but when he came to me last night, well, the plan went out the window. I don't see what's so bad, we are engaged."
"Yes, but you're not married."
"You aren't trying to tell me you and Cora waited. I mean-" Robert blushes scarlet. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise, I thought that...I'm sorry."
"It's alright, You weren't to know. Congratulations Rosamund, I know you'll be very happy." Cora saves the siblings from a further awkward situation and Robert couldn't be prouder of her. To be able to put away the hurt that he knows she is feeling over Rosamund's love filled situation and be so kind is admirable. Just like a true Viscountess, his mother would be proud.
"Cora, are you going for a walk this morning?" Robert turns his attention back to her.
"Yes, I was."
"May I join you?"
"If you would like."
"I would." Marmaduke walks into the room, a childish grin plastered across his face. He strolls around the table and plants a kiss on Rosamund's cheek.
"Sleep well?" He queries as Rosamund blushes.
"Robert and Cora know of our nocturnal adventures." He turns to the blushing faces of the couple.
"Well, if that's the case, I'm sure Cora will agree that she and I are very lucky. If Robert is half as wild in bed as you are, she thoroughly enjoys herself."
"Marmaduke-" Rosamund starts to chastise him but it's too late. Robert watches with regret as Cora stands and excuses herself from the table.
