I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Terminator. Nor do I own the characters.
Terminating the Spell
Cordelia Chase could not believe the night she had been having. First she was stood up by that sleaze, Devon. That had been a real jolt to her ego. Then Larry Blaisdell, a member of the football team, had apparently decided on a palace coup. It was insane, certainly, but what other explanation could there have been for him attempting to end her life as he had? And finally, to Cordelia's everlasting shock and dismay, she had been rescued yet again by Xander Harris, the self-proclaimed King of Cretins. It was something out of one of her nightmares.
Finally, coming out of the shock that had been enveloping her until that moment, Cordelia began to register what Xander was saying. "…you Cordelia Chase?"
Cordelia blinked. "What?"
The scruffy dweeb appeared to grow irritated with her. "Are you Cordelia Chase? I have your picture, but I wanted to make double sure…"
Cordelia shook her head in exasperation, unable to fully understand what in hell was going on. Wasn't the vampire thing bad enough? "Look Dweeb Boy. I don't know what drugs you're on right now, but I'm here to tell you that this is definitely not funny. Do you follow me?"
Cordelia was shocked to see no real reaction from Xander. There was no typical attempts at banter, no ill-timed jokes that seemed to break the tension, no anger and no smile. Replacing all of Xander's typical responses was only a grim, stalwart determination. "I'm afraid you have me mixed up with someone else, Miss Chase. We've never met. My name is Harris, Sergeant Techcom ZE21615. I'm assigned to protect you."
Cordelia froze. Something, somewhere in the dweeb's rambling caught her attention. His introduction seemed scripted, like it was something she should somehow recognise. It infuriated her to be unable to figure it out. And then Harris spoke the words that cleared everything. "You've been targeted for termination…"
Cordy's mind jolted suddenly, putting the pieces together. Larry attempting to kill her. Larry surviving a nasty hit from Xander's obviously stolen convertible with little apparent injury. Larry's funny accent. The heavy weaponry Larry, and Xander too, was carrying about. Xander stealing a car. Xander's eerily familiar introduction. The word termination. "No. No, no, no, no, no, no Xander! That was only a movie. It was a good one, granted. Arnold Schwarzenegger played the Terminator. It was a very good flick, Xander, but it was just a movie!"
Xander arched his brow at her, his face infuriatingly calm, as he maneuvered them through traffic at a speed that was well above the limit. "I'm afraid you've still got me confused with someone else, Ma'am… My name is Harris, Connor Harris. I was assigned by my C.O. to follow the Terminator back in time and see to it that you remain alive at all costs.
Cordelia snorted. "Let me guess. I am the mother of the future leader of the resistance against some funky machine empire or other. The system is called Spybot or something?"
Harris nodded. "Skynet, yes. Though you are actually the wife 'and' mother of the future resistance leader…"
"Ewwww… No, that's just gross. There is no way that I would ever do something like that. Maybe you should look up some hillbillies in…"
Harris smirked, finally beginning to look like his normal self again as he pulled them into the parking lot of a motel on the edge of town. "If you'd let me finish, Ma'am… I was saying that you are wife and mother to the future resistance leaders. Note the plural. John, my commanding officer, is your son. His father was the leader of the resistance against Skynet before John was old enough to really take over the good fight."
Cordelia shook her head in exasperation. "Okay, let's pretend you are correct for the moment. Who is John's father?"
Again Harris loosed a particularly familiar smirk. "I'm afraid I can't give you that information, Ma'am. I wouldn't want to disrupt the time-line by prejudicing you in favour of one person, or against one person…"
Cordelia growled in frustration at Harris. "Listen here Dweeb Boy! I don't care what you believe, you're going to tell me now or I'll…"
And with that she was cut off by Harris howling in pain and fainting.
"Break the bust. Shatter the bust." Ethan begged, after enduring the epic torture session with his old friend Ripper.
Ripper grinned ferally. "Thank you, Ethan…"
Cordelia dropped to the pavement of the parking lot, shaking Harris fiercely. "Harris? Harris, wake up!"
Harris opened bleary eyes to her and grinned tiredly. "Cordy?"
"Xander?"
His smile widened. "Yep. It's me again. I'm back. We've got nothing to worry about, now. Whatever I was being possessed by has stopped."
Cordy grinned broadly at him. "Glad to have you back, Dweeb Boy. The repartee was just lacking without you."
Larry Blaisdell sat in a police car, next to an cop whose head had been blown clean off. "This is Car 38 Charlie. We have an officer down at Revello and Shepherd. Officer in question is dead. Suspect is a male Caucasian with dark hair, approximately five foot seven. He is believed to be involved in the kidnapping of Cordelia Chase from right in front of the Bronze. All officers be on the lookout for a red convertible with California Plate SN1D3R. That is all…"
With that, Larry replaced the C.B. and pealed out of the alley with sirens blazing. The nightlife would take care of the cop's body, according to his data banks. With nothing but the words of the unknown officer to go on, Sunnydale P.D. would find Cordelia Chase and her protector. After that, termination would be simple. He was, after all, programmed for this. He was a Terminator…
For those who are uncertain, the spell is over. Xander is himself again, as are Buffy, Willow, etc... Only one problem... Larry is still a Terminator that is programed to kill Cordelia.
Bonus points if you've figured out whose convertible Xander/Connor commandeered... ;)
Jasper
