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Bark at the Moon
Harry was trying, to the best of his ability, to relate to Hermione the full story that Sirius had shared with him. The friendship with his father, Harry's birth, Peter's betrayal, the pursuit, and his imprisonment were all explained while Sirius took advantage of the upstairs bathroom for a much-needed shower. Thankfully, Hermione's parents would not be back for a couple of hours; this left a safe window in which Sirius could stretch his legs as a human before he would be forced back into his canine disguise.
"So he was never given a trial?" Hermione asked skeptically.
"No, never." Harry confirmed.
Hermione shook her head in disappointment. "That's barbaric. I mean, I know some trials in the muggle government are unfair, but at least they're trials. You can't just go throwing people in prison willy-nilly." She insisted.
"Hopefully when we catch Pettigrew, Sirius can turn himself in and get a proper trial with the new evidence, or the Minister will pardon him." Harry sighed.
"How exactly does he plan to catch Pettigrew? Just steal him from Ron? We're going to have to get Ron another consolation cake." Hermione shook her head.
"What's this one going to say?" Harry asked with a grin.
"Your rat is going to Azkaban." Hermione tittered. "We can have the house elves frost a cartoon rat behind bars. That should get the point across. Besides," she added dismissively, "it's not as if he even likes Scabbers all that much. He's always complaining about how boring he is."
"Maybe we can get him a fish." Harry suggested. "I can't picture a fish being a murderous traitor."
Hermione arched an eyebrow and regarded her boyfriend doubtfully. "You've obviously never watched any nature shows. Fish are... well, cold-blooded." She smacked her forehead and snorted at the unintentional pun.
Harry took advantage of Hermione's momentary distraction, pouncing and pinning her arms above her head. Her eyes popped open in surprise to find Harry nose-to-nose with her, grinning triumphantly. "Is this the part where you ravish me?" Hermione wondered aloud.
"I don't know." Harry whispered conspiratorially. "Have I ravished you before? I'm not totally sure what ravishing entails."
"Well if you're doing it right I think I'm supposed to swoon." She put a hand to her forehead and threw her head dramatically to the side.
"That's fine with me, just don't hurt yourself." Harry chuckled, kissing her exposed jawline.
"Young man," a raspy voice said, trembling with emotion, "you will high-five me this instant."
Harry and Hermione guiltily jumped apart to see Sirius standing over the couch wearing a pair of Harry's school slacks and Hermione's pink bathrobe, beaming with pride. Harry gave a sigh of relief when he realized Sirius hadn't taken issue with their affection. He gave the requested high-five with a grin.
"What," Hermione scoffed, "are you wearing?"
"I thought this was how muggles were dressing these days. Are you telling me bathrobes are out?" Sirus asked with great concern.
Harry opened his mouth to speak, but found that nothing came out. Hermione decided to bite her tongue. She'd heard jokes about how bad purebloods were at dressing muggle, but she could hardly believe the reality of it.
Suddenly, Sirius pointed at Harry and grinned. "Had you going, didn't I? No, I know this looks mad. I just need to transfigure some new clothes. Can't go into town to shop since my face is all over the muggle news. Is it true that I'm on the telly?"
"You might be." Hermione replied. "It's the most effective way to reach the muggle world. I would hope that my family would get at least some warning about dangerous ruffians like you."
"I'm a lovable scamp, not a ruffian. Get your facts straight, young lady." Sirius chided. "Anyway, if I want clothes I'm going to need a wand soon. I might have to do terribly shifty things to get my hands on one."
"You can borrow my wand." Harry offered.
"Thanks, cub." Sirius clapped Harry on the shoulder. "And as a token of my gratitude, I can take the Ministry underage magic trace off it for you. You'll be able to do magic whenever you like." He turned to Hermione. "I can do the same for you, too."
Hermione looked torn over the idea. "I don't know..."
"It's really not a big deal, Hermione. If you got your wand from a licensed dealer, it comes with Ministry's tattle charm. It reports any time a spell is cast, and if they see anything from a wand registered to a minor during the summer months, then you're in trouble. When you become an adult you're allowed to have the charm removed. Or," Sirius intoned with faux-innocence, "you can remove it illegally yourself." He smiled and made a gesture akin to jazz hands.
"And what happens when the ministry notices I'm not using my wand anymore?" Hermione pointedly inquired.
"Nothing!" Sirius joyously declared. "They really can't be bothered. And if they come round asking questions you can tell them you got another wand as a gift from a friend. That's a loophole they'll never close."
"Imagine all the practical work you could do." Harry cooed.
"You could start on the third-year curriculum. You'll be miles ahead." Sirius pointed out with a leer.
"It would be an unfair advantage..." She said doubtfully, biting her lip.
"Pfft. It's the pure and mixed-blood children who've had the advantage. They've had an adult to remove the trace for them from the beginning! Come on, Hermione. Level the playing field." Sirius insisted passionately.
"Well, when you put it that way..." Hermione conceded. "Alright. You're very good at corrupting minors."
"Years of practice." Sirius waved off the compliment. "Now the tough part is getting an untraced wand to remove the trace from your wands. I haven't had a wand in quite some time, and I can't exactly walk into Ollivander's and browse around for a new one."
"Luna might know where we can get a spare." Harry suggested.
"Good idea, Harry. We need to write her anyway." Hermione dashed upstairs to get Hedwig and some paper.
"You look ridiculous." Harry mumbled, shaking his head at Sirius in the pink bathrobe, too-short pants and no shoes.
"You just watch – they'll be wearing this in Paris in a few months." Sirius assured him.
Hermione returned with the snowy owl on her shoulder and some muggle stationery. She then settled herself in front of the coffee table and began to write.
Hermione relayed a summary of Sirius's story to Luna, asked for advice on the matter of removing the trace from their wands, and invited Luna to visit some time soon.
The next day, they received Luna's reply, in which she informed them that her father had always suspected Sirius Black to be innocent. Though, to be fair, he had also suspected that Sirius had broken free of Azkaban long ago and had been playing bass in a popular band for several years, a theory which Sirius found hilarious. The Ravenclaw had also written that she might be able to visit in a few days.
Harry and Hermione waited for the day of Luna's visit, passing the days getting to know Sirius and the nights wishing they weren't so far apart. Sirius, for his part, enjoyed the human interaction he'd been denied so long (even if his time in human form was limited to daytime hours). Every morning, he woke up in the Grangers' back yard and barked joyously at his good fortune, anticipating what had become a steady flow of kippers and sausage.
Late in the afternoon a few days later, the doorbell rang, and Stan Granger went to answer it. Seconds later, he returned to the kitchen looking terminally bewildered. "There's a girl on the porch with a bunch of camping equipment and..." he paused, trying to find the right words, "an antique keytar. She claims to know you. Says her name is Luna." Stan said slowly as though still trying to make sense of the words himself.
"Did you let her in?" Hermione asked expectantly.
"I was afraid to." Stan admitted, shaking his head.
Hermione stalked past her father toward the front door, smacking his shoulder and mumbling to herself. "Because I'm sure Luna scares the wits out of most grown men." Stan pouted and made to leave the room.
Harry heard Hermione speak from the foyer. "Luna! Please come in, I'm sorry Daddy didn't invite you in. A keytar killed his best friend." Harry snorted with laughter.
"Ha bloody ha." Mr. Granger called out as he descended into the basement.
Luna and Hermione entered the living room, and Harry noticed that Luna was indeed carrying an antique keytar. It was as if someone had taken apart an acoustic piano, thrown most of it away, and added a strap. The blonde girl also wore a rucksack which appeared far too large for her, though Harry suspected that it had been magically lightened.
"After I told Daddy that my friends were interested in spellcrafting, he suggested that you and Hermione might like to see a demonstration of sound-modulated casting." Luna offered, drumming the keys with her fingernails in anticipation.
"Sure, but what's all the stuff on your back for?" Harry asked.
"It's so we can avoid trouble from the Ministry since we're underage." Luna explained. "If we can move to the back yard, I'll show you how it works."
Immediately after stepping out the back door, Luna noticed Sirius sniffing around the bushes. "Hello, Mr. Black." She said, bending down to one knee and extending a hand in greeting. Sirius bounded over and licked her hand, causing Luna to giggle. She stood and wiped her hands on her blue sundress before removing the large rucksack from her back. She then unrolled its contents to reveal several poles and a large amount of canvas.
"Is this a tent?" Hermione asked with mild confusion.
"Yes, but it's a wizarding tent. Do any of you know how to set one up?" Luna asked.
Luna and Hermione set up the tent, both having prior experience with the process. As they worked, Harry continued to regale Sirius with tales of his first two years at Hogwarts. After the tent was set up, they all crawled inside to find a well-appointed cottage which smelled strongly of pine and potpourri. Hermione shook her head in awe. "Are these tents cheap, Luna? If they are, I don't see any reason to pay for a house. I could just get a tiny flat somewhere and keep one of these in the living room."
While Luna and Hermione toured the impossible cottage, Sirius and Harry sat at the kitchen table where a now-human Sirius was quizzing Harry on the outlandish stories he'd shared while the tent was being prepared. "So you actually brewed Polyjuice potion, impersonated some Slytherins, and infiltrated their common room?" Harry nodded. "That's brilliant! Your dad and I had a similar idea, except we were just going to steal hair from some Slytherin blokes, then go in and mercilessly hit on every boy we saw. We were going to call it Operation: Lisping Snake."
"That would have been hilarious." Harry laughed.
Sirius sighed. "We never got around to it, though. We were all pants at potions, except for Remus, and he refused to do it because he insisted we'd go down in flames."
Hermione had been listening, and was also giggling. "You and Ron could've told Malfoy he had a pretty mouth."
"He probably would've taken it at face value." Harry grumbled. "His self-esteem is dangerously high, considering his personality."
"Lucius Malfoy's son is at Hogwarts?" Sirius asked flatly.
"Yes." Hermione answered. "Did you know him?"
"Unfortunately, I'm distant family to the ponce." Sirius sighed. "Before that, I just knew him as the most annoying Slytherin in the world. Your father and I once caught him flirting with his own reflection. It was funny in a sad way."
"Ron hit Draco in the head with a serving plate last year." Harry remembered fondly.
"Just for giggles?" Sirius asked.
"No, he deserved it." Harry shook his head and scowled. "He insulted Hermione and Luna."
"Let me guess, he's a bigot and he makes baseless threats that usually start with 'My father' or 'When my father hears of this?'" Sirius asked.
Hermione and Luna had returned to the kitchen to sit down. "It's like you know him!" Hermione gasped sarcastically.
"I'm pretty sure all Malfoy men get the same pamphlet when they're finally old enough to read: How to be a Bastard Without Messing Up Your Fabulous Hair!" Sirius chuckled.
"I'd read that." Luna said evenly.
"Why?" Hermione asked, bewildered. "Are you interested in being a bastard?"
"No," Luna replied. "But it might offer some insight on why Draco is the way he is."
"I've got a guess." Sirius interjected. "He's a berk because his Dad's a berk."
"I suppose it's a bit like studying sharks." Hermione said pensively. "You don't do it for the shark's benefit."
"Sharks are lucky, I suppose, since they don't have hair to worry about." Luna said to no one in particular. She then turned to Sirius. "Part of the reason I brought this tent is that magic performed inside it is undetectable from the outside. We should be able to do magic freely in here."
"Fantastic!" Sirius cried. "If you wouldn't mind, could I see which of your wands is the closest fit for me?" The three children put their wands on the table, and Sirius picked each one up in turn and gave it a wave.
Luna's wand gave him no response. Hermione's glowed and hummed faintly. Harry's wand seemed to fit him best, though, as it emitted a shower of crackling green sparks. "No surprises there." Sirius chuckled. "Your Dad's wand was a pretty close fit for me too." He paused and turned away from the table, fingering Harry's wand delicately. "I think I'd like to warm up a bit before we remove the traces. Don't worry, Harry." He added. "If the tent doesn't work and the Ministry comes for you, we can go on the run together. I've gotten pretty good at this fugitive thing." He grinned and clapped Harry on the shoulder before stepping away from the table and toward the fireplace.
"Incendio!" He shouted at the grate, and the logs ignited. "Leviosa." He muttered, and the couch began to rise off the ground. Sirius twitched Harry's wand up and down, making the couch do a lively dance. Harry smiled at the look of glee on his Godfather's face – he hadn't looked that happy since the morning they'd met.
Sirius let the couch down with a light thud and turned to face the children, misty-eyed and deliriously happy. "I really needed that." He clapped his hands together. "Now! Let's get to the more purposeful lawbreaking, shall we?"
Half an hour later, Sirius had a new pile of clothes transfigured from napkins. He and Luna were playing a magical game of catch with ottomans and books, levitating them back and forth to one another. Hermione was transfiguring coasters into pencils while Harry – the only one without a wand – examined Luna's strange instrument, which had been left on the kitchen table. He pressed one of the keys and was rewarded with a sound that seemed larger than the device that made it. Luna let the ottoman settle to the ground and made her way over to Harry with Sirius close behind.
"Would you like to try it?" Luna asked.
"I don't know how to play it." Harry shook his head. "I don't even know any songs."
"You don't need to." Luna smiled.
As Hermione walked over to join the rest of the group, the silver-eyed girl picked up her instrument and slung the strap over her shoulder. She tapped her wand to a rune on the wooden deck above the keys. "Vox portus." She whispered, holding her wand up to her face. A flash of blue light escaped from her slightly parted lips.
Luna then turned toward the fireplace, leveled her wand at the crackling logs, and played four notes, one for each syllable of the incantation. "In-cen-di-oh." She said, holding the last note for a few seconds. Her voice was warped by the notes she played – the vox portus spell appeared to transport the keytar's sound into her mouth. The results were startling: the fire leapt to the ceiling and flared so hot that they could feel it to the point of discomfort from twenty feet away.
"Part of the reason we have incantations is that magic is shaped by sound. Inflection matters when casting, as Professor Flitwick explained using his buffalo example. Incantations don't have to be words at all, but most people find it difficult or awkward to make sounds that they know aren't words. Controlling magic with your voice is a discipline by itself." Luna's wide eyes shined as she called up a memory. "My mum used to cast simple light spells that I could change with my voice."
"That explains why your voice is so pretty. You had lots of practice." Hermione commented softly.
"That was brilliant, Luna!" Sirius exclaimed. "Maybe I really should have been playing bass all these years."
"Daddy once said if opera singers had room in their mouths for a wand, they'd all be demigods." Luna nodded, eyes a bit wider than usual as she contemplated the possibilities.
Harry and Hermione spent the evening learning how sound affected their spellcasting and generally enjoying the ability to do magic outside of school. Hermione asked Luna to visit again, and Luna mentioned the fireplace in the cottage was connected to the floo network, and that if she was welcome, she could use the tent to visit whenever she pleased now that it was set up. Harry and Hermione thought this was excellent news as they'd had fun with Luna, and Sirius thought it was excellent news because he could hide in the tent if it rained.
As Luna prepared to return home for the night, she asked Hermione how she was enjoying her Harry doll. Hermione laughed and commented that it was charming, but that she really missed having the real thing. Luna looked at her quizzically. "Do you mean you haven't used it?" She asked.
Hermione looked surprised. "Used it? I don't know what you mean."
"Oh," Luna exclaimed softly. "I should have explained how it works. I had to have Daddy do part of the spellwork. When you go to bed and you miss Harry, just hug the doll and say 'I miss you.'"
"What's it going to do?" Hermione demanded eagerly.
Luna just smiled knowingly. "You'll see tonight, I expect. Just try it – I promise you'll like it." She hugged the bushy-haired bookworm goodbye and stepped into fire to be whisked away.
Next chapter: Plushie Harry may not have karate chop action, but he definitely makes up for it in other ways.
