Chapter Two:

{Three Months Later}

Bella's POV

I lay on the floor, blinking slowly as I stared at the ceiling, my mind flying through a sea of colors and illusions. My hair was a mess, not having combed it in days. My make up was smeared under my eyes, some black streaks staining my cheeks as the occasional tear made it way down my face. I hadn't bothered with clothes lately, and was still in the same shorts and tank top I'd put on a few days ago.

I had officially moved out and cancelled the lease on the apartment Edward and I had chosen to live in. The living room was made up of boxes with different things written on them in Alice's neat writing, such as kitchen things, books, and pictures. That had been a mistake. I knew the instant I saw it, it would case my heart to ache. And I had been right. Inside were pictures of him, of us; there were memories that only tore my heart into shreds all the more. The evidence of our past was scattered around me, along with the pretty colored pills that had spilled during my fit of hysterics.

Now my brain was unwinding, coming down from the high that let me escape; let me forget about that happened and what he did to me. I had trusted him so much, and he had taken that trust, and carelessly threw it out the window. The thought made the tears come again, and soon they were sliding down the corners of my eyes, falling into my hair and ears.

I had given him my life. He had been with me during some of my worst times; he had helped me forget why my life was so fucked up, and had helped me build a new one. Only to tear it down with four simple words.

I don't love you.

The words haunted me. They tugged carelessly at my heart. My every fear was back. I wasn't good enough for him. He didn't want me because I was damaged, I was broken; I was no good for anyone. I had been living a lie that he had helped me build, and for what? To realize that I was never going to be enough for anyone. It was like living my childhood all over again. The fears were back, the depression. The drugs. The voices in my head. The razorblades.

I blinked owlishly, turning my head slowly to look at the red x on my wrist that I have made only hours ago. I closed my eyes, remembering the way the blood dripped from the wound. Remembering the way it stung, momentarily making me forget that Edward didn't love me anymore-that maybe he had never loved me. The thought was painful and I rolled over to my side. My tears ran from one eye, over the bridge of my nose, into my other eye before falling onto the carpet.

My ears perked at the sound of knocking before I heard the door open. I didn't turn around though. Only one person had a spare key. A soft gasp made me close my eyes as more tears escaped my eyes.

"Bella! Oh honey," Alice cried as I suddenly felt her beside me.

Her small hands tried to pull me onto my back but I resisted. She didn't try again. Instead I heard her sigh.

"God damnit, Bella. Pills again? Don't you remember what happened last time?" she scolded me as I heard her gathering them up.

"Go home, Alice," I whispered brokenly.

"No! Fuck, when was the last time you showered? You're a mess."

"Two seconds ago you were mother hen, now you're turning into my father. Go the fuck home," I spat.

Suddenly, I was yanked onto my back and my eyes snapped open in surprise. Her eyes were angry, but full of tears. Her bottom lip trembled before she blinked and a tear rolled down. But she roughly wiped it away.

"Do you think this is easy for me?" she cried. "You think it's easy for me to see you falling apart because Edward left? And now you're taking pills again? Bells, you know what happened last time you got into this shit. You almost died. Died, Bella. Then you were in fucking rehab for almost six months."

Then it was my turn to get angry.

"I SPENT SIX FUCKING YEARS WITH EDWARD. I WAS GOING TO MARRY HIM!" I screamed suddenly.

She flinched, stumbling back as she blinked widely at the harsh tone and volume of my voice.

"HE LEFT ME TELLING ME HE DIDN'T LOVE ME AND THAT HE WASN'T SURE HE EVER HAD. THE ONE MAN THAT MANAGED TO PUT ME BACK TOGETHER ABANDONED ME, ALICE. I THINK I'M ENTITLED TO WALLOW."

"It's been three months!" she argued and I sat up, my breathing heavy, my eyes narrowed to almost slits.

"YOU CAN'T ERASE SIX FUCKING YEARS IN THREE DAMN MONTHS."

She blinked as tears finally rolled down her face and she looked down.

"I hate him, you know that?" she said softly, her bottom lip quivering again. "He took my best friend away and I don't know if I'll ever get her back."

I stared at her, suddenly speechless and she simply placed a soft kiss on my forehead before getting up. She dug in her purse for a moment and pulled out an envelope.

"I thought you needed to see this," she murmured, dropping it beside me.

And with that she was gone.

I had managed to push everyone away from me. It was pathetic, really. No one wanted to be around me anymore. But, who could blame them? I was always crying or high out of my mind; sometimes just drunk. But definitely always broken.

I was Isabella Swan. The damaged girl.

AN: Next chapter is already being written and should be posted in about 2 weeks or less!

Twitter: (at)LunaVengeance

Thanks!

~LunaV.