Notes: Okay so I'm kind of disappointed with this chapter but I really wanted to establish Rachel's position in the mending of Blaine's heart and how it will play out once the OCs come into it. It will all make sense later. Also, I saw how many views I got, and, well, I wanted to post (: PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU READ IT. SERIOUSLY.
STALK MY TUMBLR .com/ ... there will be graphical posts for each and every chapter (:
The last thing I expected to happen after that was for Blaine to force Mercedes and me into his car and take us to his house.
No. Not like that. Actually, it was very sad, mostly because he was masking his sadness and tears with anger and a whole lot of yelling. It lasted until after midnight. Mercedes passed out on Blaine's bed and I sat in an arm chair, watching him play Super Nintendo until he finally beat the game.
"Stupid fucking Bowser… die, I – awe, dammit!" Blaine whined, throwing the controller to the side and sinking back against the foot of his bed. He leaned his head over his shoulder to look at me, sitting in the corner, curled up and nearly passed out. "Are you okay, Rachel?"
I nodded sleepily and smiled at him in a hazy fashion. He smiled back and stood up, eyeing Mercedes, curled up in a ball and sleeping like a baby in the middle of his maroon stain bedspread. "Should I take the risk and wake her up to get you two home or should we just turn this into a slumber party?" Blaine asked, a sly little smile on his face. I shrugged and smiled back at him, closing my eyes a little. I always thought Blaine was attractive; ever since the party I had, he was a different person to me. That kiss was… beyond amazing. And I know it wasn't the alcohol. And I am not foreshadowing; I do not and did not have any genuine, real feelings for Blaine. I was well aware of his sexuality.
"Alright, well I'll… I'll just leave her there. She looks cozy," Blaine said, waving his hands in Mercedes's direction. He let out a small chuckle and walked to the washroom. It sort of strange, the entire day, that is. Glee club meeting was exasperating. Mr. Schuester was way too excited to have us back and have the Glee club going again, and then Finn was acting all strange, and Quinn kept giving me dirty looks, which isn't really that strange, but I couldn't help but think that the two events were somehow connected. Before I could get too deep into my train of thought, Blaine was out of the bathroom, and he sat down on the floor in front of me and rested his head against my calf. "Rachel… can I ask you something?"
Nodding slowly, I let out a quiet 'yes'. I could feel his head shift against my leg as he moved his jaw, obviously opening his mouth to speak but was having a difficult time putting his thoughts into words. "Do you… do you believe that Kurt loved me? Or – loves me?" I frowned in complete confusion and looked down at him. He tilted his chin and glanced up at him, puppy dog eyes gleaming with what I believed could have been the beginning of tears.
"Yes… Blaine, there's something you obviously haven't learned about Kurt… Everything he does means something. He said what he said and did what he did because he loves you. He meant what he said; he wants to save your relationship, and time and space is the only thing that is able to do that. He's willing to take a little time away from you in order to increase the chance… of… of spending more time in the future with you," I explained, staring at the ceiling in thought. Blaine was quiet for a few moments, until he sighed loudly and ran a hand through his curls, which, until that very moment, I had not realized were not gelled. He turned around and faced me, big puppy dog eyes gazing up at me, and I could see he was actually more confused than hurt. "You're just hurt because he wants to be away from you."
There was silence again, and Blaine's eyes fell down to the floor. He nodded and a little smile came over his lips. I smiled too and cocked my head to the side a little. "Ah, there's that Warbler smile," I cooed, giggling a little. He blushed and rested his elbow on his knee, cupping his chin in his palm. I sank lower in the chair and rested my head on the arm rest. I looked at Blaine closely and gave him a playful glare. The sound of the Foghorn Leghorn clock on his way was growing increasingly annoyingly loud, so I spoke. "Stop thinking about him." I blinked and he looked up at me.
"I know. It's just hard," Blaine said quietly, still staring up at me. I looked away momentarily, then gave him a sideways glance, only to see that he was still watching me quite intently. "Rachel… do you remember when we kissed?"
My heart gave a jump and looked straight at him, our faces perfectly aligned. Without thinking about it, I frowned and my mouth dropped open, but then I smiled. "Yes, why?" I asked him. Mercedes shifted quietly in her sleep and murmured something about tatter tots and one of the pillows proceeded to fall off the bed. She jolted a little but remained asleep. I laughed lightly, as Blaine did, and he stood and picked up the pillow, holding it in his hands for a moment. "Did… did you actually like me?" he asked, squeezing the pillow a bit, and dropped it beside Mercedes's head and pushed it underneath her head a little. Luckily she sensed it, smiled, and pulled it closer. Blaine smiled and a broken laugh sounded from him. I looked around, thinking about the question. There wasn't a bone in my body that wanted me to say yes, but I knew that I sort of had actually liked him, in some way. I did want to pursue him.
"Um… yes… why?" I pushed myself against the back of the chair and looked up at him, waiting for an answer. Why did this matter? We had been speaking about Kurt only a minute before, and now he wanted to know what feelings I had for him in the past?
"It's nothing," he said quickly, sitting back on the floor directly in front of me. Smiling a little, he cocked his head to the side. "I just… wonder… if I'm even lovable." My head dropped forward and Blaine began to laugh.
"Sweetie, he loves you. You need to understand that," I said, chuckling a bit, relieved he wasn't planning on suddenly pouncing me and having me to be his rebound. "Even if he didn't… I know Kurt is special, but there are other Kurts out there… there are other fish in the sea." I grinned down at him and sat up, taking in a deep breath. Blaine's eyes were getting tired; I could see them growing heavier by the second and every once in a while they would drift close and Blaine would jump a little. "Do you want to sleep?" He nodded and ran a hand over his face, his chest heaving with a deep breath. I stood slowly and collected a few blankets from an area on the floor beside the chair and rolled one into a ball and threw it on the floor. "Put your head on that, and leave room for me," I instructed quickly. He did as I told and threw a blanket down before he had a chance to get comfortable. He got on top of the blanket and lied down on his stomach, his head pushed into the soft blanket underneath it. I gazed down at him, smiling, and he opened his eyes to squint up at me. I took this as a cue to turn off the light, and I did so.
"Thank you," he grunted quietly. From what I could hear – and what I felt afterwards – Blaine had rolled onto his back, and I lied down beside him, bringing the covers over us. I lay on my side, facing him and watched him, as I thought he was sleeping.
"Stop staring at me."
"Goodness, are you psychic, Mr. Anderson?" I giggled.
"… yes."
"Well, then how many fingers am I holding?" I asked him, grinning, holding up three fingers in front of his face. I could see him smile, but he tried to hide it.
"… fourteen."
"You're too funny to be real, you know that?" I said, smirking at his closed eyes. He opened them slightly and gave me a smile. He turned onto his side and looked at me with open eyes. All I could do was lay there; I wasn't even smiling anymore.
"Thank you for being with me today, Rachel. It means a lot." I smiled at him as he said this, but my eyes began to close. It had to have been past one in the morning. Luckily it was now Saturday and school the next day was not happening, obviously.
I felt the slightest touch, and I opened my eyes a little to see Blaine closer to me. I smiled and let my head take up the space between his chin and his chest. Somehow I knew… it wasn't romantic… this was friendship, and he needed me. He just needed to be close to someone.
