A/N -- THank you to those who commented, a lot of people visited the story and what I am asking is that if your going to read please leave a comment, It helps me to write faster, plus i really like reading what people think of the story line. Anyways here is CHApter 2...MEgan is my charecter, I created her she is based off of my roomate who loves the show as much as i do. OTher than Megan I own none of the charecters in this show.
Chapter 2 --Wasteland
'Crouched, over
You were not there
Living in fear
But signs were not
Really that scarce'
-ten years
To add on to an already annoying day Gemma makes it a point to find me after Abel's surgery. I figured she would, not much happens in her family that she doesn't know about, I was once included in that. "Walking down the street at night, are you stupid or did you just want Jax to come save you?"
"You know I'm not that girl anymore Gemma, so you can save you're mightier than thou attitude for somebody who give's a shit."
"It's nice to see you still got some fight in ya, Doc." Her voice is sincere, but the look on her face tells me she isn't done yet. "Stay away from my son." I can tell by her voice now that it's not advice, or a request, it's a warning, one better acknowledged.
I turn and walk away knowing that no answer is needed, it never is with her. As I leave she grabs the back of my shirt lifting it to reveal the black crow tattoo, located on my lower back.
"I guess not everything changes." Flustered I think of a million things to say to her, but in the end I am a professional first so instead of telling her where to stick it I, I tell her where Abel was moved to and walk away.
1234567890987654321
"Tara sweetie, are you staying for dinner?" Gemma pokes her head through the living room doorway to see me and Jax are laying on the couch watching a re-run of married with children.
"If it's okay with you." Gemma nods, and heads back into the kitchen. Jax Nuzzles his nose against my shoulder and I let out a giggle. "I should see if she needs help."
Jax tightens his arms around my waist letting me know he thinks I should stay put. "You should stay here with me." I can't help but roll my eyes, if he had it his way I would never leave his side.
"Go work on your bike, we can hang out after dinner, now let me go so I can help your mom." Jax relents letting go of my waist.
"You're starting to sound like her you know." Jax kisses my forehead as he heads to the garage, and I head to help Gemma.
1234567890987654321
I sigh thinking of the events that led me to this moment right here. My eyes wander between the two Tellers that surround me. I had been so sure that Josh had left the rose petals on my car this morning that I ran straight here, to sadly the one person who made me feel safe. A sad reinforcement of the fact that I can't just let Jax go.
Unfortunately he is headed out of town, which means, I have no ride while my car is being worked on, Except Gemma Teller Morrow is here, and loves to stick it to me any time she can. Looks like this day just went from bad to worse.
Jax leans down to kiss his mother, and then comes over to me. placing his hand on my side, I can't help but feel his warmth spread through my body. His lips touch my cheek and it takes all my will not to grab his arm, and ask him to stay. The ache that was in my heart ten years ago is slowly seeping in through the cracks and claiming it's place once again.
I nod at Gemma, and walk off to say hi to Lowell, I hadn't seen him since I got back and Megan had told me that he had sobered up and tried to do right by his son. A lot has changed since I left.
1234567890987654321
"You ready to go?" Gemma says as she unlocks the car for me to get in, before I can get back in though, the one they call 'half sack' runs out of the garage with papers for me to sign. It doesn't take long and once again I find myself in the car with the woman who I swear wishes me dead in her spare time. The ride is silent at first, but Gemma never leaves well enough alone so I wait for her to make the first move. "Must be strange living in that house alone, with everybody gone."
Her tone isn't almost like the one she used to have with me, but I know that the compassion she once had for me no longer exists, too much has happened for her to care anymore. "It's hard to get lonely when every time you take a step your crashing right into some sort of memory. My dad was a bit of a pack rat." Maybe if I tread lightly this will be over painlessly.
"Clay is the same way, Never throws anything out, I myself can't stand clutter."
"I remember." Finally I am home thank God, and we are both alive to talk about it to. I grab my purse trying to get out before this conversation finds a way south.
"Wanna tell me why your carrying?" Damnit she went through my purse, she found the gun. So much for avoiding the going south part of the conversation.
"I lived in a bad neighborhood back in Chicago, just forgot to take it out." There is no way in hell, that I am telling her why it's really in my purse. The fact that I think Josh is here, or that he is ATF, or that he probably thinks I came back to be with Jax if he is in Charming. These are all things that will give Gemma a reason to shoot me, and I know that she is packing I don't remember a time when she didn't have a gun at least in her glove box.
"You don't forget to take a berretta out of you're purse dear." That's it I need to get out of this car, and away from this woman. "Is it registered?"
"I have a permit, it's legal."
"Do you at least know how to use it?" I don't even justify her question with an answer. I walk away, I need a glass of water.
1234567890987654321
I am sitting at my mothers grave as I do every year on her birthday. Usually Jax comes with me, but Clay had sent him on some sort of club business. His 17th birthday was two weeks ago, and instead of waiting till 18 to become prospects for the club, they (Him and Opie) had started their year of servitude on his birthday. So here I sit alone.
"How are you doing honey?" Gemma asks as she grabs my shoulder, gently squeezing it. I should have known Jax would have asked her to visit with me, since he couldn't.
"I've had better days." Gemma stands in silence with me for almost an hour before she says anything else.
"She would be proud of the young woman you are becoming." I nod, I know that is her cue to me that it's time to go. "Let's go get some lunch sweetie."
1234567890987654321
I tossed and turned all night, dreams of Josh kept me awake. I don't think it helped that I started to imagine the smell of his cologne on my sheets, as if he had been here. There is a knock at the door, looking at the clock I notice the time and roll my eyes. "wonder who this is…" I mumble as I open the door to find Gemma. Why does she insist on being there every time I turn around lately. She walks in without an invitation, typical Gemma. "I Brought your car over for you." I stand at the door as she walks around the house like she owns it. "figured you might need it for work". she start leafing through some old fishing magazines left behind from before my father's death. "His chair is gone."
"Yeah I think my aunt took it when she went through the house." Where is she going with this? I should be careful though, she is probably trying to throw me off before dropping the bomb, I am sure there is a bomb, there always is with her. "You can cut the concerned act now, You haven't cared in a long time, now why are you here?"
"The gun, if your going to carry it be smart." she pulls a berretta out of her purse it is silver, unlike my black one, but still obviously the same. "No serial numbers." she hands me the gun. As she reaches the door she turns back around. "Just because I'm not your friend now, doesn't mean I want bad things to come to you doc."
After Gemma left Megan had called, she said Donna wanted have dinner when I got off work, I agree and head into work.
1234567890987654321
"Tara this came for you a bit earlier." The nurse hands me a yellow envelope as Jax walks up behind me. I turn around, somewhat relieved that it's not Gemma coming out to ask a million questions while inserting snide comments again.
"What's up Doc?" I smile at the lame attempt at a bugs bunny joke.
"Your mother is with Abel"
"Where else would she be?" The question was true from the time that I spent at the hospital Gemma was here every waking moment. "He's doing alright?"
"Yes, stronger by the day. So how was your trip?" He smirks, pulling his cut away from his chest to let me see he is okay. The smirk makes my heart ache a little.
"Uneventful." He heads into the room. I open the mysterious envelope as I watch him interact with his mother. The envelope contains only a picture with a time and date. As I pull it out a large pain runs through my body. It is Jax. Jax and some blonde. Uneventful my ass, suddenly I remember our last year together and my resolve to stay away from Jax is suddenly as strong as it was when I left Charming 10 years ago. Plus I have a dinner to get ready for.
1234567890987654321
I should have asked who was coming to this dinner before I agreed to come. I know that this was a scheme concocted between Megan and Donna, and I know that Megan did it because she didn't know about the picture. Even when I had moved thousands of mile away she believed that me and Jax would be together in the end. That was Megan, a hopeless romantic til the end. I on the other hand new the truth. I knew that love didn't succumb any obstacle, that it couldn't change the choices people made, that love didn't make forgiving and forgetting possible.
"It's so great to finally meet you" Donna says as I help set the table. She had insisted I sit with Megan, Jax, Opie and Juice, but I couldn't be in the living room with them. Not when every time I looked at him I saw the face of that girl.
"You too, but I think we met briefly a few days ago when you brought your daughter in. She had fallen off her bike, right? How is she doing?" Donna nods.
"I almost forgot about that. She is doing good." It is my turn to nod, they had brought their daughter in, I knew what they were doing though, giving Opie an alibi.
"That's good." the table is set and I can no longer avoid Jax as he comes in asking to talk before dinner starts. I know that he was invited with the best of intentions so instead of giving him the cold shoulder I had resolved to have earlier tonight, I agree. I can suck it up and be nice for one night.
I sat on the swing set in the back of Opie and Donnas yard. Dinner was almost done so the yard was as far away as we could go. Not that I minded, at least there was a group to escape to once we were done talking. Jax however is making the yard seem suffocating small.
"Are we okay?" The question comes as a surprise to me. I am not quite sure how to answer either, because honestly there isn't a 'we' to be okay. However looking at him sitting there so nervous about my answer is to cute for me to hurt him.
"Yeah, why wouldn't we be?"
"You just seem upset with me." Of course I am upset I just got sent a picture of you and some blonde crow eater going at it in some dirty clubhouse room in Nevada. He kneels beside me cupping my face between his hands. "You can tell me what's wrong you know, I am the same guy I was back then." Looking into his blue eyes I can't help but want to confide in him.
I know I should tell him, somebody followed him to Nevada, whatever happened there an outsider was standing by to capture the moments. An outsider who could possibly be my ex-boyfriend. How exactly do I tell him though, that somebody took photo's of him without letting him see how much it hurts me. Pretending that the thought of him having a son didn't make me want to cry was hard enough. Now he is staring at me with his gorgeous eyes and I can't keep in all the pain that I have no right to feel.
I grab my purse off the ground and take out the envelope, he looks confused as I hand it to him. "This came for me at the hospital today."
Jax opens it looking at the photo for a minute. "Shit, do you know who sent it."
"I have a few ideas but you won't like them."
"What are they?" He is pacing now, maybe telling him was a bad idea.
"I dated an ATF agent in Chicago, it ended badly, he was stalking me. I think he may be in Charming now"
"Shit Tara, were you planning on telling me this at all" I can feel the tears in my eyes and I try my hardest not to let them boil over.
"I don't know, I didn't think he was really here until I got the picture tonight, only he would be that mean. Only Josh would follow you to get to me."
"I have to go. Tell Opie I will call him later." Once he is in the driveway I lose it, I brought this on him and he will hate me if Josh can bring anything down on the club.
I Don't know how long I have been out here when Megan comes out to get me. "Don't cry Tara, everything will be alright."
"I could be the reason Abel grows up without a father."
"Nobody is blaming you honey, you didn't know he would follow you." I can now see Donna heading towards me. She takes a seat on the other side of me, handing me a bottle of Jack as she does.
"Megan said you liked clear Liquor, but Jack was all I could find, and I figured with the guys gone we could use a ladies night." I take a few swigs and pass it to Megan.
"Good call, I am sorry Opie got dragged into this."
"I told him to go, he was ready to come out and comfort you until I told him it was okay, me and Megan could handle it." Wow, Opie found himself a great wife.
"Juice didn't even wait for the okay he headed off as soon as he heard Jax's bike." She handed the bottle back to Donna.
"He hates me now." Megan lets out a sigh at this.
"He couldn't hate you if he tried."
"I don't know if you know this but I met Opie a few weeks after you left. Obviously him and Jax were a package deal, but he was hurting more than I have ever seen a man hurt."
"Thanks for the pep talk Donna" I say though it comes out a bit more bitter than I intended.
"That's not my point. One night Gemma invited me and Opie to dinner, and she kept making snide remarks about you. Jax ripped into her, and sent her away in tears. After that night nobody mentioned your name around him. My point is you have his heart, he could never hate you." Donna squeezes my shoulder as she once again hands me the bottle. I start to speak but Megan cuts in before I get a chance to.
"In the ten years you were gone I have never seen him smile at a woman or look at one the way he looks at you. That first night you were back it was like a piece of him was to and ever since then our Jax has been back."
As much as I hate to admit it what they just said made my heart thaw completely. If they are right which all of the sudden I hope they are, I won't fight this anymore. I will except whatever God sends my way. Maybe I was never running from Josh but instead back to the man I had never truly left.
