It started on their honeymoon. Okay, there had been signs before but Kurt had been absolutely sure that Blaine had felt the same way. And so he thought on the first few days of their honeymoon, too. They enjoyed their time together, had sex several times every day, tried delicious meals, slept a lot and did everything a freshly married couple would do on their few days without their 18-month-old. They couldn't be sure when they could be alone the next time, so they had to enjoy these few days the best they could. And Kurt thought that it was exactly what they were doing.

Blaine had fun, of course, he was glad to finally have his husband for himself, but... He was distracted. He remembered what Carole had said about Kurt being too sensitive and he couldn't help but kept daydreaming about the possibility of having another child. They had agreed to wait some more, especially since Kurt wasn't ready. But other than that, Blaine couldn't find an excuse why they couldn't have another child.

Okay, he had been the one who had freaked out when he had learnt about the first pregnancy but who could blame him? Kurt had practically dropped the bomb and he had acted like an asshole but it was only because he had been shocked. But now he was the father of an amazing little girl and couldn't stop thinking aobut the possibility of having another one.

They were sitting in the garden of the hotel, enjoying their coctails and the warmth of the sun. Kurt kept his eyes closed and seemed so relaxed. Blaine was sure that he wasn't paying attention at all. No wonder, it had been a few very hard months for both of them, Kurt surely deserved to rest. Blaine couldn't shut out the sounds around him, though. He slowly turned towards the children playing not too far from them and sighed. He always felt like this when he saw happy families together. It felt like a knot in his chest, telling him that his life wasn't complete yet. Yes, he had married the love of his life and they had the most beautiful baby girl together, but when Blaine saw other families, he could so quickly imagine a possible future where he was with Kurt and Elyse and another little one – who was a boy in his dreams – and they did exactly what these families: they spent every possible moment loving each other. Because it was the way how things should be.

"I know what you are thinking" Kurt said suddenly.

"You do?" Blaine asked in surprise.

"Of course. You miss Elyse" Kurt smiled.

Oh. Well, not exactly...

"You know me too well" Blaine laughed.

"I'm your husband. I'm supposed to know you better than anyone" Kurt said.

"You are right" Blaine nodded.

It wasn't like he didn't want to tell Kurt. He was his husband, his soulmate, everything a person could mean for the other, but something told Blaine that Kurt wouldn't share his excitement and he didn't want to ruin their honeymoon. So he lay back down, closed his eyes and pretended to nap, although he was very much awake.

The next time the idea of telling Kurt came into his mind was later that day, when they got back into their room, locked the door, had a drink and Kurt climbed into his lap. Blaine felt perfectly the moment Kurt touched his skin and he knew that he wanted to extend his family with this amazing man by his side.

Blaine gulped as Kurt pressed soft kisses all over his neck and forced his plans about the family to the back of his mind. It wasn't the right time for that. And as Kurt slowly pushed himself down onto his cock, Blaine wasn't able to think at all anymore.

After another unforgettable night, the two men found themselves in the pool, relaxing in the hot water. Blaine kept Kurt in his arms and when nobody saw them, he planted soft kisses all over Kurt's body where he could reach it. Sometimes Kurt moaned and pushed his head back, resting it on Blaine's shoulder. They kept it up right until more and more people started gathering around the pool and they couldn't do it anymore.

Blaine's eyes found an adorable family again. There were three children, the smallest one about Elyse's age and the others only a few years older. It had to be hard to be on holiday with so many children but none of the parents seemed tired at all. They were playing and laughing together as if it was the most perfect way to relax.

"Aren't they cute?" Blaine whispered into Kurt's ear.

Kurt opened his eyes and looked at the family.

"It must be hell sometimes" he replied. "Just think about it. We can barely handle one kid throwing tantrums, how can they manage with two others? They must be superheroes."

"They say it's easier with more children" Blaine said. "The first one is always hard. When you have no experience and don't know what to do."

"How to change diapers, how often you have to feed your baby..." Kurt sighed.

"The good old days" Blaine smiled.

"It was beautiful" Kurt agreed. "But to be honest, I'm glad it's over. I felt so lost, I didn't know how to help her, how she felt... And don't mention the sleepless nights. I still don't know how we survived that."

"We make a good team" Blaine said.

"That's true" Kurt nodded. "God, we were like the ghosts of our true selves. Do you remember when you almost fed Elyse with coffee?"

"And when you put the dishes into the fridge and the food into the sink?" Blaine laughed.

"That's what I'm talking about" Kurt smiled. "It was awful but it's finally over. Elyse can finally walk, she tries to speak and she finally sleeps through the nights. Life couldn't be more perfect."

Blaine didn't know what to say. He wanted to tell Kurt that he needed something more to have a perfect life but it didn't seem like the best time. Maybe he should wait until the end of the honeymoon with his thoughts. This time was about him and Kurt after all. They were still young, they could think about children later. Not much later, though. It seemed like it became harder with every day not to think about them.

It was silly of him, he knew that. Kurt had been a hormonal bitch, they had had too many fights about too little things, they had been barely able to live together. He still remembered how many times Kurt had slammed the door into his face or had thrown tantrums like their baby girl. But when he thought about those days, he couldn't forget the best moments either. How stunning Kurt looked when he had been pregnant with their baby, how excited they had been when they had visited Sebastian, how wonderful it had been when Blaine had been able to feel Elyse's movements the first time...

"Blaine, are you okay?" Kurt asked in concern.

"Sure" Blaine replied.

"You seemed a little lost in your thoughts" Kurt said.

"I was thinking about your pregnancy" Blaine said.

"Oh, yeah. Those beautiful days" Kurt sighed. "Eating disgusting things, throwing up ten times a day..."

"I only remember how beautiful you were" Blaine said.

Kurt turned around in his arms to face Blaine.

"And I remember how amazing you were" Kurt said.

"I thought I still was" Blaine frowned.

"You are" Kurt nodded. "That's why I married you."

The next day, after talking to Burt and making sure their daughter was fine, the two men went down to the hotel's restaurant to have dinner together. Kurt seemed a little annoyed when a small boy bumped into him, almost spilling his orange juice onto Kurt's pants but Blaine found the situation quite funny.

"Don't look at him like this" he said when he saw the boy's eyes widen and turned to him. "It's fine, honey. We aren't angry with you."

The boy nodded and hastily got away from them, only to continue his fight with his brother all over the room.

"Where are their parents?" Kurt whispered.

"I don't know" Blaine shrugged. "But hey, they are so young. They have to enjoy their childhood as long as they can."

"That's right but I don't think it's too safe" Kurt said. "They could hurt themselves or each other, their parents should watch them."

"And they surely do" Blaine said.

Suddenly, a middle-aged woman stepped betwen the boys, grabbed their arms and dragged them to their table.

"Poor boys" Kurt sighed. "Do you think we would act like this if we had more kids? Does every parent act like this? Because I don't want to hold Elyse like this ever."

"We aren't like that" Blaine said and deciding that it was the best time to talk about the topic, he leaned closer and took a deep breath. "How many kids would you like?"

Kurt blinked in surprise as he turned to Blaine. He had these strange questions coming since their wedding day and Kurt still didn't know what Blaine wanted with this.

"I'm not sure" he answered. "Before Elyse, I wanted at least two but..."

"But what?" Blaine asked.

"I have a bad feeling that we would be like this" Kurt said, nodding towards the family where now the parents were whispering to their children but their expressions told the men that they weren't too happy for their sons behaviour.

"We would never be like this" Blaine said. "So?"

Kurt took a deep breath. He knew the answer, of course, but he wasn't sure if Blaine would like it. So he decided to come up with a neutral answer and leave the truth for later.

"I think we will feel it when the time comes" he said.

"Maybe you are right" Blaine nodded. And maybe it wouldn't be that far away.

~ o ~

Kurt honestly didn't know what was going on with Blaine. Although it was their private time together, sometimes Blaine seemed so distracted. He had thought that it was because of Elyse, that his husband was worried about their daughter and missed her, but then Blaine started asking those weird questions about children. It made Kurt confused and he knew that they had to talk about it. He had promised himself to always talk to Blaine and not let themselves go into stupid fights like they had done in the past. First he thought that it could wait until the end of their honeymoon but Blaine's questions made him frustrated. It wasn't just about Kurt's plans of kids anymore. Blaine came to him one morning asking him if he was sick or felt anything strange and Kurt just had to know what was going on in Blaine's head.

"Sit down" he said and dragged Blaine to the bed. "Okay, tell me."

"Tell you what?" Blaine asked.

"Something is wrong with you" Kurt said. "You keep asking these weird questions. Is there something wrong? Do you have second thoughts about our marriage?"

"What?" Blaine asked with wide eyes. "No, Kurt. I love you and our marriage is the best thing that happened to me in my whole life."

"Then why are you asking me about kids? Do you feel like I'm not a good father? Because I'm trying. I love Elyse and maybe sometimes I'm a little overprotective but I only want the best for her."

Blaine smiled. How could Kurt be so clueless? He was the perfect parent of their daughter, Blaine had no concerns about that.

"Kurt, it's not about Elyse" Blaine said.

"Then why?" Kurt asked. "I honestly don't get it."

"I wanted to wait with this until we go back to New York but if you want to talk about it now..." Blaine started hesitantly. "I don't think you are a bad father, on the contrary actually. And the reason why I keep asking those qustions is... Well, I want another one."

Kurt blinked in confusion. He still didn't get it.

"Another what?" he asked.

"Another child" Blaine said quietly.

Kurt didn't respond. He was perfectly still, even his expression didn't change the slightest.

"Please, say something" Blaine said after a while.

"I... I don't know what to say" Kurt said finally.

"I know it's been a rough few years for us but everything is perfect now and I know it would be with another baby, too" Blaine said. "We love our daughter and we would love her sibling, too."

"You want another baby" Kurt said slowly.

"I have this weird feeling, here inside" Blaine said as he pressed a hand to his chest, over his heart. "I feel like I need something else to be complete. One more child."

"I-I have to sit down" Kurt said suddenly and quickly grabbed the chair beside the bed to take a seat.

"You don't seem too happy" Blaine said in concern.

"I'm surprised" Kurt said. "I-I didn't think about children since Elyse's birth. Everyone keeps asking me about them but I thought it was a problem we had to deal with in the future. Not... not now."

"A problem?" Blaine gulped nervously. "So you don't want any more..."

"I don't know!" Kurt said in frustration. "I honestly don't know what I want, Blaine. I have to think about it."

"Of course" Blaine nodded. "Take your time, I won't push you, I promise. I want the best for all of us."

Kurt sighed sadly. Blaine had no idea what was going on in his head, nobody else knew. It was something he kept hidden from everyone, too ashamed to talk about it. And now he was in trouble and had no idea how to talk about it with his husband. Because he knew that he would hurt Blaine if he told him how exactly he felt about a possible second pregnancy.