My Grandmother used to tell me it's more fun creating your own adventures than listening to someone else's. If I'm honest, this statement annoys me, because sometimes you don't have the friends to create the adventure with, or share it. If you're on your own, you are just someone trying to be two people. People think you are pathetic because you have no friends, they leave you alone. Therefore you walk the cold stairs to your locker each morning with no hello or any other greeting. You are alone. I... I am alone.
My mind is like a million buzzing hornets of decisions I probably won't make. I can't hear over the sound of my own mind, I struggle to pay attention as I am ushered into a classroom of a university I'm going to attend. These hornets are stinging me, I need to make a decision. The queen is laughing "Well, aren't you going to talk to someone, you don't want to being alone for ALL of your life do you?!". She's holding the key. I realize this pain is my own imagination. In the spur of the moment I throw myself in the deep end.
"Hi! I'm Christine." I stuff my now shaking hands in the tartan pockets of my coat. I now realize this might of been the wrong person to talk to. He was sitting on the bench by himself, listening to what sounds like, either extremely heavy music, or someone having a heat attack in a heavy utilized kitchen. He looked sad, his expression didn't change.
"Hey, Christine. Are you nervous?" His voice is dull and effortless, like he cares very little of his life. I think he has spotted my hands rattling in my pockets, I panic.
"Uuurmm... Of what?" He half smiles. The pressure floats away, like air being released from a tyre. I deflate, relax at his smile.
"I don't know. You could be scared of anything. But I hope it's not me. Despite my unfriendly persona, I am afraid of so much. Like right now, for example, I'm scared I'll see my ex-boyfriend. He's mean and loud, and also happens to be studying here. What are you scared of?"
"I'm scared no one will like me and I'll end up alone again." I'm surprised with myself, I never usually speak my mind.
"I like you. And from what I can tell you don't look like the type of person to choke me in my sleep. Hi, I'm Quin Pezito Barrio. My parents are Spanish, my middle and last name literally translates to 'little fish neighbourhood'. Luckily no one in my high school knew Spanish on a well enough level to decipher my name."
I laughed with my mouth closed. This actually wasn't a bad idea. Maybe we could end up being friends.
