Just 'cause a man's a man doesn't mean he's smart. I'm not gonna pretend I'm smart. Especially not booksmart. But I know I'm not dumb, either. If there's anything Grandma taught me, it's to be smart about the stuff that matters.

People are all so confused and stupid about stuff because they're confused. They're really just confusing themselves. That's why I don't think too hard. Maybe I'm not the person you should ask to judge right and wrong, 'cause not many people agree, but whether it's good or bad, I know the important thing is the people you care about, 'cause they don't last forever. You could lose them any day, any time. I didn't used to think about stuff like that before, you know. Not when I was younger. Heck, I thought I was invincible, and you know where that got me? Face-down on the pavement.

I saw a lot in only eighteen years. Four if you're not counting the crap before I died, which was at least a little less crazy than the stuff after it. I almost lost everything, and it's only through dumb luck I didn't. It's that kind of stuff that makes you wake up a little. But you know what sucks the most? I still want to run away.

Not the kind of running away like running from a fight. The facts of life aren't something you can sock in the face and forget about. They hover over you, laughing at you, and it makes me sick to my stomach. It pisses me off so much I gotta go into the woods somewhere and just scream about how much I hate it because I don't want anyone to see me like that. That's what happens when I can't escape what I feel. I wish I could just kick its ass, but there's no way. Sometimes I even just wish someone would show up that I could beat the crap out of. I get restless like I've always been, except it's not anyone's fault anymore. I don't have anyone to blame.

But when all that passes, I realize the world's still turning. I still have the best girl around and the best and only friends I've ever had, the friends that've had my back and fought next to me. I'm not alone yet. So I'm just gonna kick my own ass instead, because I've learned sometimes in life that's what you have to do. Sometimes you gotta get your ass up out of bed and man the damn ramen stand no matter how you feel because the only way to get somewhere is to put one foot in front of the other.

And just walk.