I would just like to say a couple things about this chapter, it's entirely in Leela's point of view incase anyone's confused and it's a bit longer than the first chapter. Leela is definitly out of character here and Bender (my guest star in this chapter!) may be out of character also. Sorry! Hope you enjoy reading it!

Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership to these characters. I am a fan of the show and I wouldn't dare take credit for it.


Why can't...?

As I'm walking down the street, on my way home, I started to think about the events that had happened to lead up to this moment. It all started this morning when I went to work and open up my locker to find a note. That note is what started all of this...

Flashback-This Morning

Dear Leela,

Meet me outside 'Elzar's' restaurant this evening. Someone special will be waiting for you.

That is what it said on the note. There was no name on it but you could tell it was from Fry. It was his scruffy handwriting that gave it away. Oh great. First he keeps on asking me out repeatedly and now he is writing me notes. This guy can't take 'no' for an answer! That was a good point. Why do I keep saying 'no'? Fry was different to the other guys I dated. He was always sweet and kind to me. And unlike others, he never seemed to make fun of my eye. He had always cared for me and I have always cared for him. There is just something about him. Something about his boyish-childlike-charm that made him seem charming. And yet, I still find myself saying 'no' to him. Why is that? There were many times where I could of said 'yes' to him, but before I could stop myself, I always said 'no'. What strikes me as odd is that, no matter how many times I say 'no', he never gives up on me. Even now, with this note, my initial reaction would be to go up to Fry, shove the note in his hand and tell him to stop bothering me. I don't know why I would do that. Now that I'm thinking about, it seems mean if I'd do that. I won't do that though. I've broken his heart too many times, so maybe I should go. Or should I? Why am I questioning myself?

I need to talk to someone. But... who? Zoidberg is annoying and reeks of rotten fish, Amy is on a date with Kif, Hermes is, (as if on cue, Zoidberg ran through the room with Hermes chasing after him shouting "Stop touching my manwich!") chasing Zoidberg and the Professor hardly ever knows what he's talking about. That only leaves Bender. Bender may be a jerk but he is Fry's best friend. He should know how to deal with Fry. Speaking of which, where is he? Why ask? He's probably sitting on the couch watching TV as normal. I walk into the next room to find Bender sitting on the couch watching TV. Yes, there he was, as normal. "Bender, I need to talk to you". Bender sits there, ignoring me. I say it again louder but he still kept ignoring me. It came to the point where I had to turn off the TV for him to pay attention to me.

"Hey, I was watching that!" was Bender's reaction to me switching the TV off.

"Oh come on Bender. It was just the repeats of All My Circuits. You've seen them all hundreds of times. Especially the one when Calculon is trying to jump over the shark".

"I know. It makes me laugh every time he doesn't make it" Bender said, laughing like mad.

"Bender, just stop laughing and listen to me!" I shouted.

Immediately, Bender stopped laughing. "All right then. Lay it on me big boots. What did you want?"

I sat down next to him and told him everything. Well, not everything. I told him about the note and if it was a good idea to go or not. I didn't tell him about my mixed feelings for Fry. I decided to spare him me telling him this and sparing me the humiliation of him telling everyone about it. I would never hear the end of it. By the time I was done talking, all Bender had to say was "You turned the TV off for that?!"

I sighed and got up from my seat to leave. On my way out, I turned to him and said "Why did I come to you for help? You don't care about anyone but yourself". As I left, I thought I heard Bender sigh and say "I'm sorry Leela" but I thought it was in my imagination. It must have been. Bender would never say 'sorry'.

Later that day

I avoided Fry all day because I didn't want any awkwardness between us. It was now the end of the day and I still hadn't decided if I should go or not. I keep telling myself to go and give him a chance but in the back of my head, there is a voice telling me not to go. If I don't go, then I will break his heart, like I've done many times before. If I do go, then who knows what will happen? We may go out a couple times, then he'll either get bored of me and dump me or cheat on me and I'll have to dump him. Either way, it will end with my heart being broken and I can't risk that happening to me again. I have made my mind up. I have decided not to go. This may mean breaking Fry's heart again but he's used to it. I should tell him though. It would be cruel for me not to so he wouldn't humiliate himself by standing outside the restaurant alone waiting for me to turn up. I need to find him and tell him. He's probably in the locker room getting his stuff out of his locker. How am I going to tell him?

Suddenly, Fry came running out of the locker room, looking and sounding very excited. I tried chasing after him, trying to get him to calm down and get him to explain why he was so excited, but I couldn't catch up with him. Man alive, he can run fast when he wants to! I continue chasing him until we got outside the building where I lose him. I stop to catch my breath, leaning against a wall of the Planet Express building. Bender soon joins me outside asking me what happened to Fry. As soon as I caught my breath, I told him that Fry suddenly ran out of the locker room like that and I was chasing after him to get him to calm down. After I told him, I received quite a strange response from Bender. "Oh good, he got my note" he said.

"What? You're note? What note?" I said, confused.

"Well, after we, by which I mean you, finished speaking, I decided to take matters into my own hands".

I stare at him. "By..."

"By forging a note to Fry in your handwriting and putting it in his locker".

"What did the note say?" I asked, sounding angry. Well, I am angry, but that's not the point. The point was that I need to know what is on that note.

"I don't know. Something about meeting him at some kind of restaurant later..."

"Why would you do that?" I asked, curiously.

"Hey, I don't need to tell you a reason", Bender said, sounding defensive. "Bite my shiny metal a-"

"Don't even think about finishing off that sentence. I'm not in the mood for profanity" I said, folding my arms and turning away from him.

"What's your problem? I've always said it and it never seemed to bother you before".

"Just leave me alone!" I snapped at him.

"Whatever. See ya later big boots", he said, walking off, back into the building.

I would have gone after him to apologize, but what would have been the point? I mean, thanks to him, I now have to go on this 'date' with Fry! Why would he do this to me? Now I have to go because he is expecting me to come! It's not like I can just not show up! Can I? No, I can't. It would break his heart if I don't go. Well, it looks like I'm going.

Later that evening

I walk towards 'Elzar's' restaurant with a sick feeling in my stomach. I wore my purple dress and my hair was tied in a bun. Just because I'm going to an awkward dinner, doesn't mean I can't look good. Wait, did I say awkward? This dinner is going to be awkward isn't it? Well, there's no backing out of it now. Just around the corner and I'm there. I stop before turning the corner, thinking how my life will change if I go through with this. Should I go through with this? Maybe it's not too late to back out of this. I could just turn around now and go home. Fry hasn't seen me yet. Wait a minute. How do I know if Fry really did send me that note? It could have been Bender that put that note in my locker. I mean, he did fake my note to Fry so he could have faked my note from Fry. Why would he do that though? Never mind that, I need to check. I take a quick glance around the corner and I couldn't believe what I saw. I look again to make sure I wasn't seeing things. Standing in front of the restaurant was Fry, smartly dressed (for the first time ever I think) in a tuxedo holding a dozen red roses. It was safe to assume that the note was real. Stupid Bender, this is his entire fault. If he hadn't written that note under my name then I wouldn't be here. I could have been watching the reruns of All My Circuits or Everybody Loves Hypnotoad but instead I'm here. I'm just standing here, a corner away from changing my life drastically. Wait a minute. Why aren't I moving? I try to move but my feet seem to be stuck to the sidewalk. Why am I so confused? On one hand, I really care for Fry and I want to give him a chance, but on the other hand, him being nice could be just an act. He could just be being nice to me to get what he wants, then dump me after becoming bored with me, like my college boyfriend Sean. And I can't let Fry break my heart the way Sean did. Wait, what am I saying? Fry would never do that. Well, he could do that... No, he wouldn't. But he could do it... He knows that I'm quite vulnerable when it comes to dating and he may take advantage of that... What is wrong with me? Why am I always questioning myself? Right, I've decided to go through with this dinner. Ignoring my natural instincts to turn and run away, I turn round the corner expecting to see Fry. But he was gone. How long was I standing there? On the floor I can see the red roses he was holding. I go over and pick them up. There is a card attached to them. It says:

Dear Leela,

Even these red roses are no match for your beauty

Fry

I can feel tears falling down the side of my face as I read this. Poor Fry. He must have been waiting here for hours before deciding to give up on me and go home, dropping the flowers in anger and sadness. I turn around and head home, ashamed of myself for standing up Fry.

Back to the present

And that is what basically happened. Every time I reply the past events in my head, it makes me feel more and more guilty. I can't believe that the nicest guy in the world would do all this for me and I had to be the one to pull the rug out from underneath his feet. This is all Bender's fault. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here. It's also my fault for not going. I hate myself right now, and Bender. And Zoidberg for some strange reason. I don't think that Fry would ever forgive me for this. I don't think that I could ever forgive myself for breaking his sweet man's heart once again, unintentionally this time. I'm standing outside my apartment door searching for my apartment key, thinking of how my life could have changed. My life could have for the better but now my life has changed for the worse. It's worse because of the choices I make. I always try to plan out my life and make sensible choices but now I realize that nothing in life is perfect. You can't always plan out your life and follow it to the dot. You don't always have to make the right choices, its okay to make wrong ones; you just need to be spontaneous. I wish I was like that sometimes. I found my key and entered my apartment. I change into my nightdress and get climb into my bed. I cry myself to sleep thinking about the previous events that happened. What a horrible person I am! Many questions form into my mind, such as 'Why would Bender do this to me?' but there was one question. One question in particular that I knew that I could never answer:

Why can't I love him?


Hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! Hopefully I'll have the plan for Chapter 3 done soon. Hope you didn't mind the OOC (Out Of Character) for Bender and Leela. Please review!