April, 4 months pregnant

I still haven't told Peeta about the idea of adoption, I know he'll be crushed, he talks and kisses by stomach whenever he can. Our last doctor's visit, Dr. Aruelis said I could be carrying twins, Peeta and I both agreed not to go on the spring break vacation with Johanna, Madge, Finnick, Annie, and Gale. It would save us a lot of money. Since Peeta has to work an extra shift at the bakery because his older brother Rye is sick and his oldest brother Will, has a college class today.

In the waiting room, it's not white like the examining rooms, in here it has fish tanks, playing movies, wall paper of horses and other animals. I see a lady no older than 32, she has brown hair and green eyes, she looks like she's about to burst, while her daughter has the same brown hair, but brown eyes instead of the green. The mom is telling her daughter on how things will change with her newborn sister. It makes me wonder what Peeta and I's life would be like if we had more kids.

"Katniss Everdeen?" an older lady says. I grab my things, I think that lady I saw earlier is staring at me. "Moma, she looks too young to have a baby." I hear the lady's daughter say. "Shhh, that's not nice." The mom quickly corrects, it's true though, I am too young.

"I'm going to need you step on the scale." The old lady says. She fixes the scale to balance it. "132." She writes it down, "Follow me please." She leads me down the hallway, just like last time, the hallways are all white, no color.

"Dr. Aruelis will be right with you." She says and leaves quickly. It's really lonely without Peeta here with his jokes. Whatever happens, you'll love these babies no matter what. The more I think about them, the more I don't want to chose adoption. This is for them, to give them a life you and Peeta could never give them, to give them a stable household where their whole family wants them.

I hear a knock on the door. "Come in." I say. "Hello Katniss, we'll do the same routine as last time, pull up your shirt and I'll put the gel on you." Dr. Aruelis says with his sweet and gentle voice. I do as I'm told, I lay down and pull up my shirt, the bed isn't as soft as I remember it.

Dr. Aruelis puts the gel on my ever growing bump. "If I do remember, I said you could be carrying twins, I bet you want to find out for sure, don't you?" I nod my head. I need to know how I'm going to take care of it. Dr. Aruelis moves the ultrasound equipment along my belly. "Well, you're carrying one baby for sure." I smile with relief, a huge weight has just been taken off my shoulder. "Do you want to know the gender?" He asks. "Peeta and I wanted to find out together, and he had to work an extra shift at the bakery." I explain. "Well," Dr. Aruelis says while wiping the gel of my stomach, "there's always next time. Is there any questions with your pregnancy you wanted to talk about?" I want to ask him what he knows about adoption, but will he think I'm irresponsible?

"Actually, I was looking into adoption, there is no way we could afford this baby, and we want it to have a life it deserves. It's own grandmother wants me to get an abortion, I just couldn't live with myself if I did that." Dr. Aruelis looks at me with his caring eyes. "Adoption is a good option, many people don't think it is because you're not taking responsibility for your mistake. But being a parent is about making sacrifices, and by choosing adoption, you're making a sacrifice that benefits the baby." He hands me an adoption agency card. "Does Peeta know about this?" I shake my head, it makes me feel guilty that I haven't told him and this is his baby too. "He'll be an amazing father, he kisses and talks to the baby whenever he can, this will crush his heart." I feel a tear slide down my cheek. "Adoption is the hardest thing to go through, but normally it's the best. I'll want to see you next week, because you're so young, I want to make sure your body is handling everything properly.

I walk towards the bakery. I see Peeta through the window helping a customer. I walk through the door, the bell rings signalling that someone has entered the bakery. Peeta looks up and gives me a smile but continues helping the customer. Walking behind the counter I smell some cheese buns, he knows me to well. I smile at that.

"Katniss, will you grab me two vanilla cupcakes?" Peeta asks, I get up, I find it easier to walk around when I arch my back, this makes Peeta laugh. I'll tell him today about the adoption. Today. I grab the two cupcakes like Peeta asked. The satisfied customer walked out leaving Peeta and I alone. "So are we having a boy or girl?" Peeta asks "I told him I wanted to wait, I wanted you their with me." This makes Peeta laugh, he gives me a kiss on my forehead and tucks a lose strand of hair behind my ear. "And we're only having one baby, not twins." Peeta lets out a breath I didn't even know he was holding. "But, I do want to tell you what the Dr. Aruelis and I talked about too." Peeta's face gets a little concerned. "Lets talk about this on a picnic in the meadow. I've already packed the food." Peeta treats me like I'm a princess, I wonder what he would treat our children like? I guess I'll have to wait if we go through the adoption.

We walk hand in hand down the dirt road where the fence is. It's illegal to go into the forest, especially to hunt. The fence that shows the district boundaries is supposed to be electrified, but Peeta and I both know, its never electrified. Before we crawl under the fence I make sure no one followed us. It's getting harder and harder to go through the small hole under the fence. Peeta crawls through after me and we slowly disapere into the woods. It's easy to get lost, but I've been running around and hunting in these woods since I was very young. It's about a mile walk to the meadow. Normally we make it there in about 20 minutes, but today it almost took us 45 minutes, every 100 yards I had to stop to catch my breath.

The meadow is blossoming with flowers, from dandelions to primroses, the flower my sister was named after. There's also a lake, where my father taught me how to fish and swim, so many bitter sweet memories lie within the meadow, in fact, this is where the baby I'm carrying was conceived. Peeta lays out the blanket and motions for me to sit down, he lifts up my shirt, in class I always catch him staring at the bump, I feel the baby kick. "Did you feel that?" I ask Peeta, "Yeah, was that the baby kicking?" He asks with awe in his eyes. "Yeah, it's the first time he's kicked." Peeta raises an eyebrow at me. "So you think it's a boy?" Yeah, I want him to look like you, your blue eyes, blonde hair, your personality." I explain, but we won't be the one raising this baby, other people will. "Well I want her to look like you. You're brown hair and gray eyes." Peeta leans in for a kiss, I kiss him back, we kiss passionately, I pull away and look at him in the eyes, yep, I want this baby to have his eyes. "Katniss, we should think of names. I was thinking for a boy Luke, and for a girl Ainsley." I sigh, he's so into becoming a father and I want to give this baby away to people we don't even know.

"Peeta, I've been wanting to talk about what your mom said, and it got me thinking. Tha-" Peeta inturupts me before I could even finish. "Katniss, don't listen to my mom, she don't know what she's talking about." Peeta says. I ignore what he says. "Anyway, she said something about adoption. When I got home after our first doctors appointment, I looked up adoption and read about it. I found an adoption agency here in District 12. When I went to the doctors again today, I asked Dr. Aruelis, he said adoption is a very good idea, he gave me a card of an agent he's friends with. I know, you really want this baby, but at least think about it. Please?" He sighs, and doesn't respond for a while. He takes another deep breath before talking again, "I know adoption is the best choice, but I don't think I could let him go." Peeta says while playing with some grass. He picks up a dandelion and puts it in my hair. "I love you Peeta." I say, "I love you too Katniss. " He says and we meet in the middle for a kiss.

Two days later...

Even though Peeta doesn't want to go through with the adoption, he has agreed at meeting an adoption agent and looking at family profiles. We read all about open adoption where we can get letters, pictures, phone calls, emails, and meet our baby face to face occasionally. We have an appointment today with an adoption agent.

We walk through the automatic doors into the lobby, Peeta checks us in and the lobby person tells us our agent will be right with us. The lobby has hardwood floors with a natural gray walls. I sit on a connected chair and Peeta sits down next to me. "Katniss, I talked to my dad about the adoption, he said that the most responsible thing to do was the adoption, but I just don't think I could ever let it go. I helped create it, and I got to know it for nine months, then all of the sudden, it's gone and I have to wait six months to see it, but as much as I say I don't want adoption, I made a choice, I want to go through the adoption, for the baby, to give it a life we could never provide." Peeta never once looked up, but I could tell he had tears in his eyes, I bring him into a tight hug and we just hold each other for a few minutes until or agent comes to get us.

"Hello my name is Dawn, and I'll be your adoption agent." She holds out her hand for Peeta and I to shake it. Dawn leads us down the hallway where I see several families with children. She takes us into a room filled with more families and kids. I let my curiosity take over. "What are all these pictures of kids and parents of?" "Well," Dawn says as she takes a seat and Peeta and I do the same. "It's how many people we've helped place their children into an adoptive family home." I smile at that, they've must have helped hundreds of families if not even more.

"Well before we can start even looking at families, tell me a little about yourselves and why you want adoption." I look at Peeta. "I'll start." I mouth to Peeta. "We're both only 16, we're too young to raise a baby. I live in the Seam, while Peeta's family owns the bakery. I know he'll stay by me, but his mom isn't welcoming me to keep the baby, she wants me to get an abortion, to chose adoption, I don't want her to win, but it's the best choice." The tears start streaming down my face, Peeta wipes them, "my mom is supporting us, but she says she won't help us out financially. My dad died when I was 11, and my mom fell into a deep depression, that left me to care for my younger sister Prim, I can barely keep us both alive, without a baby." I finish, I try to control my tears, but it's no use. "Peeta, tell me why you want adoption." Dawn says. "It's really the same for Katniss, the type of father I want to be, and what I can give her, is no where near close." Peeta finishes up. "It seams like both of you really do care about your baby." Peeta and I both nod. "I'm not going to scare you, but choosing adoption is easier said than done, it's going to take a lot of inner strength to hand off your baby to another family, but it's always the best."

Dawn gets up and walks to some shelves she has in her room. She grabs a couple of binders and lays them in front of us. "These are the families profiles, what they're like, their jobs, personal life, and almost everything else. Go through this and pick out a family you would like to meet, and we can invite them to get to know them better." Dawn says and gets up from her chair, "I'll see you two in two weeks." She says i pick up the binders Dawn laid out for us and leave.

"That went well." I say trying to start up a conversation. "Yeah, but it's a little bitter sweet. I know it's the best choice for the baby, but it will be hard hearing him call someone else Mommy and Daddy when we're really his parents." I stop and pull Peeta into a tight hug. "So you think it's a boy too now?" I saw smirking at him. "Only because you do." I give him a quick kiss and head our separate ways home

I start to walk on the dirt road down towards the Seam. My house is one of the last ones, and right by the fence opening to enter the woods. As soon as I walk inside my house I feel Prim come up and hug me tight. "Where were you Katniss? You had me worried sick." I can tell she has been crying which made me feel really guilty. "I was with Peeta and an adoption agent." I say laying the binders down. "You never told me or left me a note. I thought we died or something." Prim continues on. "I'm sorry Prim, I'll make sure to tell you next time." I say while lifting her chin up to look at me. "Do you want some dinner? I think I still have some strawberries and some deer from last weekend." She nods and I walk into the kitchen and begin dinner. I know my mom won't be home until later, she tries to work as much as she can to get some cash, but that normally doesn't happen.

I call Prim to dinner and we both sit there in silence, there isn't really much to talk about, nothing new. "Why did you visit an adoption agent?" Prim asks while picking at the deer meet. "Well, we can't really afford this baby, and we want him to grow up in a house where he's loved. Plus we're really young." Prim just nods, I wonder if she'll support me through this, because just like Peeta, I'm sure she would love to be an aunt. We both finish our dinner in silence, Prim volunteers to clean up. I go to my room and start my homework, I still want to graduate on time so I must keep up with school no matter how hard it is.

I go to bed around 10, knowing that I need to get up extra early to go hunting since we're about out of meat. I feel someone start to shake me, "Katniss wake up." It's my mom. "Prim told me you went to see an adoption agent with Peeta today." Mom continues. I rub my eyes until I can see clearly. "Yeah, we can't afford this baby Mom, we have no financial help, I can barely keep myself and Prim alive, and we're too young." I plead my case to Mom, but I can tell she isn't happy. "Katniss, choosing adoption is an easy way to get out of it." Out of what? I wonder. "You made the mistake on having unprotected sex that resulted in a baby. If you choose adoption, you're not taking responsibility for your own child." She says really sternly. She gets up and leaves. Why would she even say that? I'll be giving him a life he deserves.

My alarm clock goes off at 4:30, I groan. I don't want to get up and being pregnant makes me tiered all the time. But survival of the fittest right? I slowly get out of bed and put on my hunting gear. I grab my watch to keep up with time. Before I leave, I make sure I pack some fruit and cheese buns Peeta gave me a few days ago.

I gently shut the door and make my way down where the fence is. Even though the fence is never running with electricity, I always listen carefully to make sure, one mistake there and it might cost me my life. There's no noise coming from the fence, I look around one last time to ensure no one sees me sneaking into the woods. I walk about 100 yards and stop at a hollow, fallen down tree where I keep my bow and arrows my dad made me.

I walk deeper and deeper into the forest, that's were the best game is, but also were the bears and mountain lions live. Around 6, I have caught six squirrels, three rabbits, a gallon of strawberries, and a a gallon of black berries. I start the long walk back to the fence. I hid my bows in the same log. Once I near the fence I listen for the electricity, but again nothing. I decide not to even get dressed, but to wear what I hunted in. It covers my bump well, but it's still there.

Like normal Peeta picks me up at 7 and drives us to school. I start to zone out some in first period, I've been up since 4:30, plus I'm pregnant, this is going to be a long day. After the bell dismisses us from first period, Glimmer and Clove come up to me. Glimmer has bleach blonde hair with blue eyes and Clove has dark brown hair and brown eyes, they're both co-captains on the varsity cheer leading team which punched their ticket to their popularity. "So I've heard you're pregnant. And choosing adoption? How irresponsible, not taking actions for your mistake." Glimmer says, I want to punch her in the face so bad and screw up her beautiful face, but decide to walk away instead.

The day goes by much slower, I think Glimmer and Clove has passed the news around that I was pregnant, because I feel like everyone is staring at me and whispers about me. I'm at my locker when Peeta comes up to me. "Come on Katniss, hurry up, we got that ultrasound today." Crap, I forgot about that. Hopefully I can get home before Prim starts to worry again.

We arrive at the hospital and wait in the lobby, we're called back by the same lady, she has me stand on the scale. 135, she writes down my weight. She leads me to the same white room, with white walls, and white tile. "Dr. Aruelis will be with you shortly." The lady says and walks out. "Peeta, can we look through the different family binders when we get home? I don't have practice until 8 tonight." I'm curious to know what type of families there are. I don't want him to have an old mom and dad, or one too young, or ones snobby and rich, or sloppy and poor. Peeta grabs my hand and says to me again "I'll always be by you Katniss." This always makes me smile and realize you lucky I really am to have Peeta the father of my child.

"Knock, knock." Dr. Aruelis smiles and walks in, he shakes Peeta's hand. "Alright Katniss, let's have you lie down on the bed again, and pull up your shirt mid way." He says and pus the cold gel on my stomach again. "You keep getting bigger and bigger Katniss in such a short time for one baby." Maybe I am carrying twins. No I can't be, he said so. He rubs this machine on my belly trying to find the baby. "Do you want to know the gender of the baby?"Dr. Aruelis asks. Peeta and I both look at each other. "Well Katniss what do you think the gender is?"Dr. Aruelis says before telling us. "I want a boy, one that looks like Peeta." Dr. Aruelis smiles. "What about you Peeta?" Peeta smiles, "I want it to be a girl, that has Katniss' hair and eyes. I want it to look just like her. I want a girl, but we both think that it's a boy." Peeta adds.

This only makes Dr. Aruelis smile even bigger. "Well Peeta, you got what you wanted. It's a girl." I pull Peeta into a tight embrace, I smile, a daughter, maybe she can have Peeta's hair and eyes. I feel tears starting to roll down my cheeks but Peeta immanently wipes them away. "Are you two still considering adoption?" Dr. Aruelis asks, "I mean if you don't mind me asking." I look at Dr. Aruelis and back at Peeta. "We are. Our agent is Dawn, and she gave us binders to look at that have families to choose from." This makes Dr. Aruelis smile. "It takes amazing parents to realize that adoption is a good choice." He wipes the gel off my stomach and leaves.

A few hours later, Peeta and I are on the coach in my living room looking at families. "Haymitch and Effie Abernathy." I read the name out load. We read all about them, Haymitch is an owner of a real estate company and Effie is a clothing designer. They live in a stone, two story, five bed four bath house. Haymitch is 33 and Effie is 31. They both seem both very active, and are always doing stuff outdoors. I like that. Effie has blonde hair down a little past her shoulders and blue eyes, while Haymitch has buzz cut, his hair is a caramal color hair and greenish blue eyes. "Peeta, this family is perfect." He nods, "Lets look at the others too before we decide on a family."

While looking at the rest of the families binders, Peeta looks at every detail, he wants to make sure he knows all he can about the family. Another hour passes, and we finish up looking at the binders. "I really like Haymitch and Effie, Katniss, they seem to stand out." I smile and give him a peck on the lips, "I couldn't agree more." Now we just need to tell Dawn about our decision.

I told my soccer coach about my pregnancy and we both agreed I'll still be on the team, I can't play until after I give birth. I haven't told any of my teammates yet, and they're depending on me to help them through this weekend when we play a capitol team. I walk the mile to where we practice, I have running shoes on and some athletic clothes, the shirt I'm wearing is actually Peeta's, but it doesn't cover the bump anymore.

When I first arrive, I greeted by my teammates, I guess they were all shocked that I'm pregnant, they ask who's the dad? Is it a boy or a girl? How far along are you? During the practice I sit on the bench watching my team as the do conditioning, and drills without me.

I get a ride him from Sarah again, I tell her I'm having a girl, and we're choosing adoption. She says she'll be there for me if I need her, but I wonder if she'll keep her word.

Peeta and I wait in the lobby of the adoption agency with the binders on Peeta's lap, we await to be called back. "Peeta? Katniss?" Dawn calls our names and we get up, we follow her to her office and sit down where we sat last time. "Did you pick out a family?" Dawn asks. Peeta and I look at each other. "Yes." Peeta says, never breaking eye contact with me. "Well who did you chose?" Dawn asks, I answer this time, "Haymitch and Effie Abernathy." I smile at the name, I know they're going to be perfect parents for our daughter. "Awe, yes, they're very good people, a few months ago, another young couple chose them as their child's adoptive parents, but once the mom gave birth to a daughter, she completely changed her mind and kept her and raised the baby herself as a single teen mom." Dawn says. That's terrible, how could you get a couple all excited about a baby then take it away from them? "We'll I guess I'll give them a call, they'll book a train ride as soon as possible, I'll call you when they come." Dawn smiles and dismisses us. I'm happy about the family we've picked.

Peeta walks me home, and gives me a kiss goodbye and starts his way home. I walk inside and no one is home. I walk into my room and right in front of me is a crib. How could she? It's my kid, I can do what I want with her right? I know my mom bought this crib, hoping it will change my mind about adoption. A few days ago, she laid out an outfit for a baby girl on my bed. Why can't she respect my decision on adoption, it's whats best for Peeta and I, but also our daughter, why can't she see that?