My mother used to say that every dream has an important meaning, but mine last night were muddled and clumsy. The president's mansion has a collection of ancient books that have been preserved in special sheets; I used to love going there with her and deciphering our dreams together. I would carefully turn each page and absorb the adventures of the characters within. It made me feel safe whenever things got a little too much. I begin to wish that I had one of them with me so that I could escape the reality that is yet to come, to follow the girl named Alice down her rabbit hole where even her bizarre world is less frightening than my own.
The interactive wall slowly lights up the room so that I wake gently, but it still takes a while to prise myself from the warm sheets. I take a shower in the hopes that it will kick-start the day, but find myself feeling nauseous as I accidently push a button which covers me in a strong rose-scented foam. I turn the shower up as high as it will allow, trying to remove the smell as quickly as possible but it refuses to leave my skin. In a panic I start to press random buttons, diving out of the way of the spray until I find one strong enough to mask the roses. Eventually I find one which makes me smell like apples and decide that it is probably the best I will get. I make a mental note to remember where the rose button is and avoid it carefully next time.
Once I'm dried I go to the closet and find an outfit picked out for me. Tight black pants, a long-sleeved burgundy tunic and leather shoes. The colour highlights the pink patches on my face brought on by nerves, but I know that today this will be the least of my worries. I tie my hair up in a tight bun although it is so thick that three bands break before I finally manage to contain it. Perhaps I should ask Flavius if he could do anything to make it easier to manage in the arena.
I head down to the dining room and I'm pleased to see that Peeta is already at the table. His breakfast sits untouched in front of him although I can tell by the murky sheet that has formed over his coffee that he has been here a while. I load my plate up with salmon and eggs then sit across the table from him. "I thought you would be hungry by now, I didn't see you at dinner last night." I say after a second of watching him.
He looks up at me as if he wants to say something important, but drops his head back down after a few moments. "I'm fine, thank you." He says quietly. I know not to press the issue, so make small talk while I eat. I get little response until eventually I decide to say something I know he has to react to.
"I saw the picture you painted last year. The one of the little girl. Of Rue." I say. He finally gives me a real reaction and some expression floods back into his face though I can't tell what it is right away.
"How could you have seen that?" He asks suspiciously.
"I was curious about what Katniss would do, so I forced myself to visit my grandfather in the hopes that he would allow me to watch her. He said no, of course, but I couldn't resist. I used my mother's old access card and snuck into the building. One of my mother's old friends caught me trying to sneak into the vent like I had seen done in one of my books, but let me watch via the security cameras in his office instead. It was amazing, what you did. She was my favourite, Rue, the hardest death to watch. My father was from her district, you know." I tell him.
"He wasn't from the capitol?" He asks.
"No, why do you think my surname is Snow?" I say, tipping my head to the side. I thought it would have been obvious. "My grandfather had him killed when he found out my mother was pregnant, he couldn't bear the thought of his only daughter being with the farmer from eleven. I suppose that's why he had so little interest in me, because I'm a reminder of my mother's betrayal." I say. I'm not sure what it is about Peeta, but something makes me want to tell him all my secrets.
"Nice story, sweetheart." says a rough voice from behind me. I'm annoyed that he has interrupted us. Although I feel better telling Peeta about myself I don't feel like I should extend the courtesy to Haymitch.
"Please, don't stop just for me." He says.
"I was finished, actually." I say and try to keep my voice even. He narrows his eyes at me but then continues loading up his plate. Katniss appears next, then Elias and Effie. Our stylists are the last to arrive but seem to be in the best spirits after their apparent victory with our costumes last night. The chatter keeps us from having to say too much even though five of us are almost silent.
We finish eating, and Cillian and Ana say goodbye. Today is the first day of training so they won't we needed yet. Training. We've known it was coming but it still feels like a shock to think of what is about to happen. "So, let's get down to business. Would you like to be coached separately, or together?" Katniss asks. I hesitate and look to Elias for an answer.
"What do you think, Mel? I mean, I'd like to work together but it's up to you." He says. I'm sure that he thinks he is doing me a favour by offering, but I would rather have no say. I hate being put on the spot; decision making isn't exactly my strong point.
"Yeah, we'll train together then." I decide.
"Not again. It's you two all over again. You need to realise that we can't all play happy families this year, at least one of you is going to die." says Haymitch.
Peeta gives him an angry look. "They're already friends, what good will it do keeping them apart? If they want to train together then let them" he says.
"Are you sure?" Katniss asks us. "If you have any skills that you wish to hide from the other, then they will be exposed today."
"Really Katniss, we're sure." says Eli.
"Speaking of skills, we're going to need to know yours." Peeta says.
"Mel and I took defence classes when we were younger; we're both pretty good at hand to hand combat. I'm not too bad at spear fishing, so I suppose that helps if there's a river." says Elias.
I struggle to think of any stills I possess which would be of any real value in the arena. Birdcalls and playing the piano are not going to save me now. "A few of the other tributes were in that class too, so I don't think we'll have too much of an advantage over them. I can swim, but after last year I doubt they will use a lot of water again. I've read books on animal tracking but I've never actually tried it." I say.
"Well, that's a start. The skills needed for the arena are not easy to come by in the Capitol. You don't need to hunt or gather or climb here so the others are not likely to have the upper hand. Perhaps you will even have a small advantage." says Katniss. Elias lists a few other things that we learned, knife throwing and that type of thing. It seems that we're pretty evenly matched.
"I don't think that there's too much more to say just yet. We're all up pretty late, training starts soon. We might as well go now if you're ready." says Peeta.
I begin to wish that I had not eaten so much, I can't tell if it's the food or the nerves which are making my stomach flip. I decide that it must be the latter as I notice the slight shake in my hands.
Effie meets us in the lift and we travel down to the training rooms. We're a little early, only a few other pairs are here. I don't recognise many of their mentors as being from previous games so I guess the rumours were true.
I find that I recognise more of the female tributes that I initially thought, without all their makeup I find it easier to imagine how they looked when we were younger. More wander in as it gets closer to ten o'clock and most look exhausted. I'm usually one of the only people in the capitol awake at this time, even mid-week.
As soon as the last pair joins the circle, the head trainer introduces herself as Atala and gives us the basics. Experts in each skill will stay at their station; we will be free to travel between them as we wish. Some teach survival skills, some teach combat. We are forbidden to engage in any combative exercise with other tributes. There are assistants on hand if we want to practice with a partner. She lists all the stations and then we are left to train.
I'm confused when Elias does not follow me towards the fire making station so I feel a little lost standing alone. I know from previous years that there is hardly ever a year when fire is not a crucial part of survival, so I stick with my choice.
The other tributes seem to favour the combat area, although not one of them is competent with a weapon. Those who chose other stations are the only ones I recognise, so I guess that they must have been the ones in our defence classes. They probably regard it as their secret skill so will save it for the private sessions.
The expert shows me how to start a simple fire with a few sticks and a piece of string, making a small bow so that the stick is spun quickly without damaging my hands. Pleased with my achievement, I move on to the knot-tying station which Katniss reminded me not to miss out.
Over the next three days Eli joins me now and again, going to every station except combat. Together we make a decent shelter and do pretty well with identifying plants; it seems that whichever task one of us lacks knowledge in the other excels at apart from a few where we're both pretty weak. Camouflage makes that category. I had not wanted to stick with him in the games in case it came down to the two of us, but it becomes apparent that we're nowhere as good at anything separated.
At lunch Elias and I sit alone and we decide that although we know some of these people we should avoid them whenever possible. Making friends was never my strong point, I could never even pretend to care about new wigs or that party that they wanted to go to so badly while stuck at home with minders. Elias was always the only person interesting enough to talk to without having to smile politely and excuse myself after just a few moments of shallow babble. Anyway, every extra friend is just one more that I will eventually have to lose.
I don't look at the faces though I can see another one or of them trying to catch my eye. One boy especially, but I never get around to taking notice. Elias seems to watch the same boy when he thinks I'm not paying attention. Perhaps they know each other. I don't look up to find out.
By the second day I find that tributes whose parents worked for my grandfather actively avoid me, leaving the station each time I get there. They've grown up being told by their parents to be careful around me, to try not to offend me and make polite conversation. I'm not the one they should be scared of right now, but I suppose old habits die hard and I haven't exactly been making my case for proving their parents wrong. Although there is no longer a risk of them or their families being punished by him, I have ignored them long enough for them to give up trying to talk to me.
Back on floor twelve Peeta and Katniss don't seem too worried when we tell them about the day. We did well, but not so much to draw attention to ourselves. There doesn't seem to be any real strategy, we're free to do as we wish. Haymitch, on the other hand, seems to have other ideas. He constantly tries to grill us about what we did, who saw us, how the others reacted. When Peeta tells him to stop he seems genuinely disappointed.
"Have you really given up on them already?" he mutters.
"We haven't given up. We just don't see the point in giving them any more pressure than they already have. I've watched the others, they're not careers. They're scared kids." says Peeta.
"I'm sure that's what they want you to think, too. If you don't know that they're all going to have some kind of strategy to pick of your two dear little friends here then you must still be insane." Haymitch says.
This seems to hit a nerve with Peeta, he stands up and excuses himself calmly but I can tell by his eyes that he is furious. "Well, that was low. Even for you." Katniss spits. She throws an apple at his head which he somehow manages to duck out of the way from and follows Peeta out of the room.
Only Haymitch, Elias and I remain at the table. We have never been alone with Haymitch, and I don't know what to expect. Elias grabs my hand under the table to comfort me.
"Now that they're out of the way we can get to business." He says.
"And what business would that be? Our mentors just left, thanks to you." Elias says.
"They have some kind of deluded idea that you're going to magically find your own way around the arena without their help. The truth is that all they want to do is get this over with. They're under the impression that Coin will leave them alone as long as they don't pull any tricks. Yes, there's a pretty high chance that you'll be dead before you even leave the cornucopia. Still, something tells me that you're better than you let on." Haymitch says.
"I'm not hiding anything, if that's what you're suggesting." I say.
"Well, you really are like Katniss." Haymitch says.
"What is that supposed to mean?" I ask. I'm pretty sure that the comment was meant as an insult, but I'd be happy to be anything like Katniss. She won the games once and survived a second, after all.
"Distrustful and completely oblivious to the feelings of... others." He says. I'm not sure what he was suggesting with the hesitation, but I'm pretty sure that he had glanced briefly at Elias when he said it. Perhaps Elias is the one who is hiding something, maybe he secretly hates me. Then I realise. I'm proving him right, Haymitch. It only took the slightest suggestion for me to jump to conclusions. Maybe I am distrustful, but it's better than trusting blindly. That is the kind of thing gets you killed in the arena.
We allow Haymitch to grill us about training; Elias says that he's right about us needing more guidance. Although all I want is to be alone, we allow him to lecture us about the importance of observing our opponents for a full half hour. I excuse myself eventually, telling them that I'm going to the bathroom. I can apologise to Eli for abandoning him later but I can't stand listening to any more advice. The more I get, the more real this becomes.
Our last day of training is tomorrow. Our private sessions will be held after lunch. I need to talk to Katniss, she's the only person who I can bear to talk to right now.
I find her on the alone on the roof in her usual spot looking over the city.
"Hey." I say.
"Hey" She replies. Just like always. Talking to her is always intimidating, knowing how much sits between us. Knowing what she did. Killing him, her decision to agree to the games, all of the rest of it.
We don't talk at first; we just listen as the people below go about their day. It doesn't seem to have taken them long to get over the reaping, there's a party going on a few streets away.
"How old are you, Melodie?" Katniss asks softly after a while.
"I'll be fifteen next month, if I make it that far" I tell her.
"Almost the same age as Prim would have been, if she was here." She says. "She was going to be a doctor, you know, before they killed her."
"I was in the mansion when you were brought there, just after my grandfather was captured. They let me in to see him just for a few moments. I asked him why he sent the parachutes, why he killed all of those children. He said he didn't. The last thing he ever said to me was a lie. He looked me straight in the eyes and told me that he didn't send them." I say.
Katniss looks away from the point in the distance which she had been staring at for the last ten minutes. "He wasn't lying." Katniss says. "It was Coin." Something seems to snap inside her head; all of her distance is gone. She's alert, eyes wide and angry.
"You know what she told me just before we came to the reaping? She said 'No more tricks, just do your job.' Can you imagine that? Coin, telling me to send you straight into the slaughterhouse without a fight after what she did."
"Katniss, I don't know what you're talking about." I say.
"What I'm talking about, Melodie, is payback. If you win, then what will she do? She's counting on us letting you die. But that's not what Peeta and I stand for. She wanted a rebellion, so that's what we're going to give her. You're going to win this, I'm sure of it." She says.
I appreciate Katniss's sudden enthusiasm, but she has forgotten that there are two of us. "Even if I can beat the others, what about Elias? You're his mentor too."
"I've seen the way he looks at you, he'll do anything to keep you alive."
"Yeah? And how do you know that?" I say.
"Because it's the way Peeta looks at me." She replies.
