He realized too late what he had done.
He'd been blinded by something he called love.
The redhead had been on his way to apologize that night, to say sorry and take the other one into his arms, whisper comforting words to him, make him feel wanted, explain that he was an idiot for leaving him ...
But Renji had been too late; he'd destroyed everything he had ever wanted.
The redhead had found him there, laying against the piano. He thought he had fallen asleep there. Renji placed a smile on his face and pretended that everything was okay. It was anything but.
Shuuhei's blood had seeped into the wood, splattered along the ebony keys in a horrificly beautiful fashion. Kazeshini's hilt was settled on the floor, Shuuhei's arm hanging above it, where he must have dropped it a few moments before. He refused to believe that Shuuhei was really gone; no blade meant no soul. His piano was stained a dark crimson; it destroyed the surface, the beauty that it once held. Renji seen the way that his former lover's body had twisted, the way that he seemed to be resting his eyes for just a moment, that a grey gaze would slide open and reveal tired eyes. And that Renji could carry him to bed and explain things, make everything alright.
But he pressed a hand to Shuuhei's shoulder, shook him, screamed, pleaded, fought for some sort of sign that his brunette was still there.
But he was gone, lost in a world that even Renji could not pull him from.
And still, he had not cried, did not shed a tear until Shuuhei was lowered into the ground, free from his words and pain that Renji knew he would inflict.
It was all his fault, always his fault. He couldn't even take care of Shuuhei, couldn't save him. And it was all his fault, for acting like he had fallen in love with his taicho, all because he didn't want to be with the brunette anymore. If he had just explained it, worked through it like a normal person ... then maybe, maybe Shuuhei would still be here, still be here at his side, held in his arms, murmuring words into his ears at night. Because he had been foolish; he didn't love Kuchiki Byakuya. It had been a moment of weakness, and he had given in without a second glance, without even caring what Shuuhei's feelings would be.
And now the brunette was gone.
He had killed himself because of Renji.
His heart was numb at first, but he knew what he needed to do. Renji knew what needed to be done. With a wail, a splash of red even brighter than his hair illuminated by moonlight, he destroyed himself too. The pain was howled into a night that no longer cared, speaking of nights spent alone with the one he loved, saying sorry to the people around him, apologizing for everything that he had done in his lifetime.
And he joined Shuuhei in that world that kept them safe.
Renji's POV was requested by the wonderful InstinctionOfReality~ You should go check her out; she writes some amazing stories. ^_^ Not very long, because I'm really, really lazy, but I wanted to write this out for her. I let a friend choose whether to kill Renji or keep him alive, and she chose to kill him, so blame her. -hides-
