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Se7en

Cleaning up the Fat Man

Monday

Sasuke was standing in the hard, cold, and very wet rain, holding to cups of steaming hot coffee. Kakashi was in the trunk of the police cruiser, searching for a pair of flashlights. They had been called to a small one bedroom house, where someone found a dead body. And as usual, it was raining. Hard. After about a good five minutes, Kakashi finally found twoflashlights and some latex gloves that they need just in case.

Going through the gate, Sasuke almost forgot he had coffee that he doesn't want. "Coffee?"

Kakashi took a quick glance and declined. Running up some steps, Sasuke placed a cup there, not caring that he was littering. Half way to the crime scene, the detectives meet an officer who had been waiting for them in the icy cold rain.

"Aburame." Kakashi greeted.

"Detective Hatake, nice to see you again."

"Status report?"

"Nothing's been touched. Everything's like I found it." Shino stated. He was leading the two toward the crime scene.

"What time was death established?" Sasuke asked, still holding a cup of untouched coffee.

"Like I said," Shino looked back, "I didn't touch anything." They made a right, and are walking across the yard. "But he's got his face in a plate of spaghetti for about forty-five minutes now."

"Wait a minute," Sasuke asked, "No one bothers to check vital signs?"

They now passed a few other officers waiting by the front. "Did I stutter? This guy isn't breathing unless he started breathing spaghetti sauce."

Sasuke scowled "So that's how it's done around here?"

Shino stopped in front of the entrance, turned and looked at Sasuke in the eye "I beg your pardon, Detective," He stepped aside, letting Kakashi in the house then continued "this guy is sitting in a pile of his own piss and shit. If he wasn't dead, he would have stood up by now." Sasuke didn't say another word to him as he shoved the cup of coffee into the officers' hands and just walked past him, into the house. 'Ass hole…'

Almost a soon as Sasuke walked in, a foul smell practically slapped him across the face. Kakashi had his tie to his nose in an effort to block out the smell. Sasuke just made his scowl tighten.

Both their flash lights cut through the darkness of the small and dark house. "I wonder…" Kakashi thought out loud "What exactly was the point of the conversation you were about to get into?"

"It's just…how many times has this Aburame guy found dead bodies that weren't dead?"

"Drop it." Kakashi mumbled.

They both turned into a room with a TV and a sofa. The TV was still on and a bowl of chips sat on the sofa, a few roaches crawling in it. The room smelled, but was obviously not the source of the bad smell emitting from the small house. After checking the assumed living room, they found two grocery receipts that can be used as some sort of evidence. They headed into the kitchen, the pungent smell got worse and it became a lot darker, due to there being no windows in that particular room.

There, in a chair in the middle of the kitchen was the body of very obese man that has already begun to decompose. And sure enough, his face was in a plate of spaghetti. "Holy…" Sasuke stared at the mountains of food, piled onto many plates in front of the corpse. "Who said this was murder?"

"No one." Kakashi murmured, his flash light pointing to the many cans of spaghetti in the kitchen pantry.

"His heart has got to be the size of a canned ham. If this isn't coronary, well, I don't know." Said Sasuke as he jot down a few notes.

Kakashi turned back to the corpse, noticing the position of his legs. Taking a closer look, his eyebrows furrowed. "Uchiha…come look at this…"

Sasuke bent down, looking to where Kakashi was staring at. Barbed wire was tied to wrists and ankles, making him practically immobile. "Damn it…" Sasuke stood up again to write some more notes. Kakashi stood up also, to take a better look at his position when he noticed a strange bruising on the back of the victims head.

"We had this case once…" Sasuke said, trying to strike up a conversation "The guy was dead, on the ground, with a knife in his back. Got to be murder, right?" He looked over the table and it's contents. "Fuck…" He said, pointing his flash light at two chicken skeletons, some meat still on them. "Anyway, a big insurance policy was involved so-"

"Could you please be quiet?" Kakashi was trying to concentrate on the bruising pattern on the victims' head. Sasuke threw a dry glare, but Kakashi didn't notice.

Sasuke, being bored out of his mind looked around some more until he caught a bucket under the table. "Wait a minute…"

"What?" Kakashi looked down towards Sasuke, who was currently under the table.

"I got a bucket here." He looked into the bucket, and made the mistake off taking a whiff. "Ah!" He shot out from under the table, rubbing his nose franticly. "Fuckin' vomit!"

Kakashi didn't seem too concerned "Any blood in it?"

"I didn't see any. Help your self."

Kakashi shrugged, then went back to examining the bruising pattern.

"Wassup guys?" a voice greeted.

Kakashi motion him to come over "Hey Naruto, how's the wife and kids?"

Naruto obediently walked toward his long time friend, his cheeky grin brightening the mood a little. "Nah, Temari's fine. Junior is teething, which means no breast milk for him, and Nemari going to be six next week so she's always sayin' 'Daddy, whatcha gonna gimme for my birthday? Hm? Hm?'"

Both he and Kakashi laughed, Sasuke just scowled. 'They look like friends with fuckin' benefits.'

"Anyway, back to work." Said Naruto as he put on some latex gloves and prepared to dust the area for finger prints.

"Do you think its poison, Hatake?" Asked Sasuke, his hand equipped with a pencil, hovering over the note book. When Kakashi obviously didn't hear him, Sasuke growled. "Hatake, do you think he was poisoned or not?"

Kakashi, getting fed up with Sasuke "Detective Uchiha, would you go help the officers question the neighbors outside?"

Sasuke blinked "Wha-"

"And close the door on your way out, please."

Sasuke growled and stomped out of the old, smelly house to get in the rain again. Naruto giggled, "Newbie" Kakashi sighed. "I know. You were like that not two years ago. Remember that."

OoOoO

"His name is Chouji Akimichi? I think I went to high school with this guy…" Sasuke said just outside of the medical examiners office.

They entered the room while the medical examiner was cleaning the blood off the body. "Okay, let's cut to the chase. Was it poison or not?"

"He's been dead a long time, and I can tell you it was not poison." The medial examiner stated.

The two stopped by the morgue a few hours after they left the crime scene. The body of the obese victim laid on a metal table, blood from the autopsy still on the floor and table.

"Oh, man…" Sasuke shielded his eyes as they walked around the body, which was fully nude. Dead or not, Sasuke really didn't like seeing others' manhood out and about. 'How does someone let them selves go like that?' He thought.

"It took four orderlies to just get him on the table." The medical examiner said.

Once around the body, Sasuke stared at the body "How'd the fat fuck ever fit out his front door?"

"Please. It's obvious he was a shut-in. Right, Temari?" Kakashi joked.

"How the hell should I know?" she said, not getting the joke.

"I was kidding." Kakashi winked at her.

Temari rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She picked up a bag with some effort, from a cooler. The bag was bloody, and looked like it weighed well over ten pounds. "Look at this. See how big this stomach is? The strange thing is, it stretches." Kakashi and Sasuke wide-eyed the enormous organ.

"That's his fucking stomach?" Temari nodded. Sasuke made a sour face.

She pointed at the torso of the body "Look at the size of the cardiac orifice where the food-" Sasuke cut her off.

"Yeah, yeah, but that means nothing to me."

She glared at him "Okay, he's got lines of distention across the duodenum, and the interior wall of his stomach is ripped open."

"Hmm," Kakashi rubbed his chin "So, this man ate 'til he burst…?"

"Well…he didn't really burst, parse, not all the way…he was…hemorrhaging internally. There was a hematoma in the rectus."

"So, he did die by eating." Sasuke stated, sounding more like a question than a statement.

"Yes and no." she answered. "Something made his stomach burst from the inside, as far as I can tell."

Kakashi pointed at the body's head "What about these bruises up here?"

Temari grimaced "I…haven't figured that out yet.

"Gun pressed against his head?" He asked.

"Pressed hard enough…yeah." She answered.

"Fuck yeah," Sasuke pointed at the forehead of the body "Marks from the front side flush with the muzzle."

Kakashi sighed 'This investigation will go on forever.'

OoOoO

"The killer put a bucket beneath him, and kept serving. Took his time, too." Kakashi explained to the head of the investigations department. "Mrs. Temari Uzumaki said that this could've gone on for more than twelve hours. The victim's throat was swollen, probably from the effort…and there was definitely a point when he passed out. The killer kicked him, and he burst." Kakashi concluded.

"Sadistic fucker, huh?" Sasuke smirked. The chief eyed Sasuke wearily, until she heard Kakashi go on.

"When you want somebody dead, you drive by and shoot them. You don't risk the time it takes to do this…unless the act itself has a meaning."

"Come on!" she groaned "Somebody had a problem with fat boy and decided to torture him. Simple as that!"

Kakashi continued "In the kitchen there were grocery bags. We found two receipts. That means the killer stopped in the middle of everything, and made a second trip to the supermarket."

"So?" she yawned. She threw a questioning look at Uchiha.

"Hey man," He waved his hands in the air defensively. "It's his thinking." He glared at Kakashi "I've been out in the rain all day."

"This is the beginning." Kakashi warned.

"We've got one dead body not three."

"No motive."

She waved her hands in the air, as if giving up "Don't even start that big brain of yours to start cookin' on this. Please!"

There was a long pause. About a whole thiry seconds until…

"I'd like to be reassigned."

"What?" Sasuke asked.

"What the hell are you talking about?" She looked at him as if he's crazy.

"This can't be my last duty! It's just gonna go on and on and on…"

"Six more days Hatake." She crossed her arms. "Six more days and your all the way gone. Your retiring. It won't be the first time you left unfinished business."

"Those other cases were taken as close to conclusion as possible!" He shot. "And if I may speak freely…"

"We're all friends here." She said.

"This should not be his first assignment."

"Arggh, come on! I knew it!" Sasuke rolled his eyes "This is not my first assignment, dick."

Kakashi ignored the last comment "It's too soon for him."

"Hey man, I'm right here. You can say that shit to my face." He said as he stood up to walk in front of the desk, with Kakashi.

Kakashi looked him in the eye and said "It's too soon for you."

Sasuke glared, then turned to the chief "Look, Captain Tsunade, if we can just talk in private. Obviously this isn't working. It's a personal thing-"

"Shut up, Uchiha." She turned to look at Kakashi "Look, I don't have anyone else to put on this. This is Metro. Tou don't get to swap."

"Give it to me." Sasuke asked.

"Say what?" she asked back.

"Yeah, he doesn't want it, fuck him. Sorry. See you later and have a nice time. Give it to me."

"No. I'm putting you on something else."

He scowled. Without another word, he left the office. She shuffled around a few documents and looked at Kakashi.

"I'm sorry, old buddy…but it looks like you're stuck cleaning up the fat man."

OoOoO

End of Chapter 2!

Thank you for reading this story! Especially you, Reikotsu!

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