Chapter 2

Sollux's alarm blared not even two hours after I fell asleep.

I rolled onto my other side and pulled the blanket back over my head. Fuck this shit.

Next thing I knew, Sollux was poking the side of my head, "Wake up shithead, we got class in an hour." His lisp utterly butchered that sentence.

Half an hour later we were in his car driving to campus.

I stared out the window, as always, not saying a word.

About ten minutes into our drive, Sollux broke the silence, "So what's with you lately? You've been even more withdrawn than usual."

"Why do you care?"

"Cause you're my best friend dipshit."

I sighed and didn't say anything. Some best friend I was if I couldn't even bring myself to tell him about Jack. He'd kick me out for being a crazy freak.

We pulled into campus and before Sollux could even turn the engine off I had unlocked the door and jumped out of the car.

~====3====~

I sat in the usual spot in the library basement and tossed my backpack aside. Sollux would be here in about an hour when his last class ended and we would go home.

I pulled my laptop out of it's case and started on some homework, silently praying that Jack would leave me alone.

He did for the most part, only giving a jab here and there for the hour I was down there.

My mind wandered for the most part, not really focusing on my homework as much as I would have liked it to.

My mind mostly focused on Sollux. The faces he makes when he's thinking or coding or laughing. How he runs his hand through his hair when he's trying to focus on something.

Then my mind turned to a darker place as I remembered when I came home a few months back to find him on the bedroom floor, overdosing on the medication he had stopped taking.

I shuddered and shut down the memory. I did not need to break down crying right now.

Especially when a certain heterochromiac was walking over while rubbing the smudges off his blue and red glasses.

I quickly composed myself and rubbed my eyes, which had started watering.

He put his glasses back on his face, "'Sup KK."

"Absolutely fucking nothing."

"Then why is your face all red?"

"A rather unpleasant memory came to surface."

He tilted his head, "What memory?"

"Do you really want to fucking know?"

"Yes."

"No you really don't."

"Just tell me KK."

I sighed before looked up at him, "It was the one of finding you almost fucking dead on the bedroom floor."

All the color in his face drained away and I sighed again, "I told you you didn't want to know."

He sighed, "You know I'm sorry about that right? I hadn't been taking my medication and I couldn't deal with it and…"

I cut him off, "I know Sollux you have told me a million times and like I said I forgive you but that doesn't stop the memory from coming up sometimes and I'm not gonna lie and say it isn't painful."

He bit his lip and nodded, "Why don't we head home?"

I nodded, that sounded like a great idea.

Twenty minutes later we walked into our apartment and I fell face first onto the couch.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," Sollux said quietly. He had been quiet the entire ride home.

I turned my head to the side and asked, "Are you okay?

"Not particularly, but I'll be fine."

"Are you just saying that to placate me?"

"Maybe."

"Don't do anything stupid Sollux."

He nodded and went to the bathroom and shut the door.

I sat up and sighed.

You know he's only depressed like this because you told him.

I held my head in my hands, would he never leave me alone?

You know he doesn't care about you.

I know that, he wouldn't give two shits if I died. It would just mildly inconvenience him.

Then why don't you kill yourself. You're on the third floor it would be easy just to jump out the window.

I wouldn't do that, would I?

You should.

I groaned audibly and rested my head on the coffee table. Shut up already!

Make me you fuck face, you know I'm right.

I know you're right! That's why I want you to shut up!

No!

I groaned again and my head shot up when I heard Sollux say, "Are you okay KK?"

"Yeah, just a bad headache."

Liar.

"Migraine? I got some meds for that…" Sollux walked back into the bathroom and came back with a bottle of Excedrin. He dumped out two pills and handed them to me with a glass of water.

I downed the pills and the water and handed him back the glass, "Thanks."

"No problem," he walked back into the bathroom to put everything away.

Lying prick, you know, he'll find out about me eventually. You can't hide me from him forever.

I knew that, but I wanted to put off that conversation for as long as possible.