Disclaimer: Still don't own Grey's.

Thank you all for your reviews. I'm glad you liked part one and I hope you like this part.

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I made a list. A list of my issues. They aren't in any particular order but I'm pretty sure the there are only a few big ones.

1) Accept the idea of Lexie. And Molly.

2) Daddy issues

3) My mother.

I haven't told Derek about the list. I think it should be a surprise sort of. Or maybe I'm just…I don't know. It's been three weeks since I made the list and I have been working with Lexie a lot more. We've been talking and she's a very nice person. Oddly enough, I told her about the list and what I want to do. She thought it was a wonderful idea. She said that she can tell how much Derek loves me, especially when he talks about me.

"I wish I had someone like that," she tells me, "I can see now why you guys call him McDreamy."

I smile, "Yeah. He is very McDreamy."

"You love him so much," she says, "It's in your eyes. The same as Molly when she talks about her husband."

And it happened. I didn't try and change the subject or run away. I, Meredith Grey, was actually interested to see how I may be similar to my half sister and I continued the conversation with Lexie.

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Lexie and I parted with plans to have lunch together and I crossed number one off my list with a smile and put it back in my pucker. But I didn't…

"Meredith," I hear Derek call behind me. He's holding the once folded half sheet of paper, walking towards me.

"Hey," I smile to him.

He smiles back, "You dropped this…and I peeked."

He hands it back to me, "It's a list," I tell him.

"I noticed, accept the idea of Lexie and Molly?" he asks, slightly confused.

I nod, "A few weeks ago I had accepted the presence of Lexie but I decided that I needed to accept the idea of us being related.

He smiles.

"I want a real relationship with you and all those things you said but I can't until I work on these things," I admit to him.

His smile gets bigger, "I'm proud of you, I really am. Do you know how you're going to work on the other two?"

"I figured it could talk to Dr. Webber about my mother but the daddy issues…I'm going to have to talk to him," And I really didn't want to.

"If you want me to go with you for support, let me know, ok?"

He really was amazing.

"I will," I reply.

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It was almost a month since I crossed Lexie and Molly off my list and started getting to know them better. I was finally ready to talk to Dr. Webber. I told him what I was doing this all for and he smiled.

We decided to have lunch together at Joe's. When we got there we made small talk then I got to the point of the matter and I asked him why did my mother treat me like she did.

"Your mother was a strong woman, as you know. She loved you; she just didn't know how to show it. She wanted you to be a great surgeon and you are. I don't want to defend how she treated you sometimes but she wanted to encourage you and wanted you to be the best you could be. Unfortunately she was a surgeon first and a mother second. The day she was lucid she asked me how you were doing and I told her. She was proud of you."

I smile, "When she was lucid she asked me what my life was like and the first thing I told her was that I had a boyfriend who made me happy and she started in on how I was ordinary because I hadn't chose a specialty."

The chief nods, "That was Ellis being Ellis and I wish she was more of a mother to you, maybe you would have turned out differently…just remember what she said to me – that you are anything but ordinary."

I smile and its almost like I can hear her telling me that herself – its weird.

We finish lunch and I head back to the hospital, thinking about what he said. I get on the elevator and who is there? Derek.

"Hey, how was lunch?" he asks.

"It was good. I want to tell you about it. Are you coming over tonight?" I ask, giving him a smile.

"Yeah," he replies.

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That night we sit together on my bed. I sit against the headboard and he sits in front of me.

"I know my mother wasn't the best mother and when I was younger I promised myself that if I ever had kids, they would come first. I wouldn't blow them off for surgery or anything else."

Derek nods.

"She would always tell me I was ordinary and I didn't know why she couldn't hug me and say I was doing great. But the chief said something. He said she was a surgeon first and a mother second and she didn't know how to be a mother."

"Do you think that's true?" he asks.

I think back to my childhood and nod, "I had nannies until I was 14, then I was on my own and she was never home. It took her a week to notice my pink hair."

"The angry pink hair," he said with a smile.

I smile, "Don't ask me how pink can be angry," I pause, "There's something else."

He nods, telling me its ok, go on.

"The chief said that the day she was lucid she asked him how I was doing, as a doctor, and he told her. He told me that she told him I was anything but ordinary. But that's not the strange thing. The strange thing is that I remember her saying that it me before I woke up after I died."

"As a neurosurgeon I'd have to say that seeing your mother while you were…dead," I can tell it's still hard for him to talk about that, "is not possible, but there have been reports of people who have died for a short time to see friends or family members who had passed. If you believe that, then it's entirely possible you saw your mom."

At this point I have tears in my eyes. One falls down my cheek as I look at him. "So dead mommy really is proud of me?"

He gives me the McDreamy look, moves to sit next to me and wraps his arms around my shoulders.

"I think she always was proud of you, Mer," he tells me, "It's very hard not to be."
"You're biased," I tell him, laying my head on his shoulder.

"She would have been too."

"She drove my father away. I mean he didn't leave because she was loving and nice, right?" I ask rhetorically, "She drove him away and I have intimacy issues that I don't want. But I forgive her, "I look at him again, "Because she did her best, she did all she knew how and I understand."

He smiles at me and kisses my forehead.

"Do you feel ready to cross her off your list?" he asks.

"Yes," I reply and I reach over to the nightstand where a pen and the list lay and I cross my mother off the list.

"There's something else not on the list that I've been doing anyway," I say, resuming my position next to him.

"What's that?" he asks.

"Talking to you. I didn't talk to you before when I should have…about anything."

"You're right and I'm glad you're doing it now. I hope you keep doing it," he tells me.

"I plan to."

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Iiiinteresting. One more chapter. Review and let me know what you think.