I'm going to make this chapter short; it's mainly the aftermath of Malem's incident and her coping.

I don't own any of these characters except Malem. A song for this chapter: Cold (But I'm Still Here) - Evans Blue and Fall to Pieces- Avril Lavigne

Recover. A word that is considered easier said than done. Blind. A word of obliviousness; Being able to see, but not seeing. Two words that I've heard being spoken about me in my time of being here. Never fully grasping the fact I survive the ordeal. But I guess we can't always get what we want, our paths are twisted every way and… Malem swiped the brushstrokes along the page effortlessly. The ink was drying and the words looked ancient on the fine parchment. She heard footsteps and quickly shoved the paper and quill into her dresser drawer.

Deidara stuck his head through the door, "Feeling any better?"

Malem blinked back thoughts of herself and what she must have looked like, lying there in the snow, dying. She looked up at him, "A little."

"Do you need anything?"

She shook her head.

"You sure? You haven't eaten since you got here, and that was three days ago, hm."

She shook her head again, "Really. I'm not hungry."

"Maybe I'll just bring you something small. For later if you'd like."

She stared down at her hands, "Seriously. I don't want anything."

He grimaced, but let the matter go. He strode into the room and threw his cloak around her shoulders. Her immediate reaction was to hug it close which she did. She crossed her legs, allowing him room to sit on the bed with her.

Malem did not look up. He frowned and ruffled her white hair, "Mal, you're fine. Please don't be like this, hm. Come out of this room please?"

She nodded mindlessly.

"Malem… I'm serious."

Again she nodded.

He clapped his hands together making Malem jump, "Good. Let's go."

To this she looked up, strands of her white hair flying out of her face.



"Come on." He grabbed her frail wrist and tugged her out of bed. She stumbled on her nightshirt, pulling Deidara's cloak behind her. She wrapped it tightly around herself, the collar covering half her face. She barely noticed the cold of the floor against her bare feet.

Outside of the small room there was little commotion. Everything was silent except for a clanking of metal and a ruffling of paper. Malem glanced around her. The metal clanking was Hidan toying with his scythe and the paper was Konan creating yet another crane to add to her pile. She glanced around to see if she could find anyone else. She saw everyone she missed. Everyone. Her bare footsteps echoed in the cavernous hideout, she felt herself grow warm from embarrassment for no reason in particular.

Itachi brushed past, he paused and turned to look down at her. Their gazes met and he gave a small smile, "Finally back on your feet, are you?"

She gave a wary nod, "Mm."

He gave a simple nod, "Well. Good." He walked off down the hallway; she watched him go then gave look toward Deidara with pleading eyes.

"Oh, just go, I'll be here with you. If you feel tired, you can lie down afterwards, hm." He nudged her forward. She felt still too weak to resist so she shifted forward. No one seemed to notice her presence, but the atmosphere grew bitter, making her uneasy. She searched for an explanation to the strange feeling, but found nothing. She simply pulled her cloak tighter around her shoulders and kept walking.

She suddenly felt tired with famine. Had it really been three days since she'd last eaten? Or was it longer? How long was she in the snow for? She exhaled her breath and with it the thoughts of her incident.

She laid herself down on a nearby couch and rested her head on the armrest. Her eyes drooped and eventually fluttered shut.

"She's out of bed!" A voice jolted her awake again. Adrenaline from the scare ricocheted through her body, giving her enough energy to look up. Hidan grinned down at her. The sides of her mouth twitched and she lowered her head back down again. He poked at her calf, indicating her to scoot over, which she complied. He sat down on the other end of the couch and she laid her legs back down on his lap. His warm hand came down on her skin and she shuttered despite herself. Goosebumps rose on her skin and she heard Hidan chuckle, "Feel good?"

She groaned in response and he laughed again, "Is that a no?"

She bent her knees and tucked her hands between her thighs.

"Well, you're still cold. I never thought it was normal for someone to be so cold, ever."

"Thanks." Malem said groggily.



"I mean that in a literal sense. I swear that your temperature was below freezing. I thought I was going to fucking freeze to death."

"You didn't have to hold onto me for so long…" Malem glanced at him; his eyes looked down towards her legs on his lap.

It took him several moments before responding, "You seemed comfortable."

She shrugged, causing her head to throb, she winced, "…Ow…"

He cast her a worried look, "You okay?"

Her hand was on her forehead, "Y-yeah. Just a headache."

"Let me see." He reached for her.

"No," She swatted his hand away, "I don't need your help."

"I just want to see!" He grabbed her wrist.

"I just want you to stop!" She struggled against his grip.

"Relax I just want to help!" He pushed down on her leg. His hand slipped on her skin and he tumbled onto the ground. Still holding onto the poor girl's wrist he brought her down on top of him.

Her head hurt more than ever and she strained her head on his bare chest. Her teeth grinded and she forgot where she was. It was only when Hidan broke the silence did she release her clenched mouth. She blushed intensely when she realized where she was.

"You okay?" He asked, grinning at how they landed together.

She shook her head and flew gracefully off him and dashed to her room, her palm pressed firmly against her temples. She closed the door behind her and braced her back against it, sliding to the floor. She clenched her eyes shut tight and bit her lip, drawing blood.

There was a knock on the door, startling her silence and sending a shock of pain through her, "Malem?"

It was Hidan again.

"Go away." Though she really didn't want him to.

"What the fuck are you doing? I'm sorry okay?"

"Just leave me alone for a while."

"At least tell me what the hell is wrong…" He pressed, jiggling the door knob.

"It's nothing. Just my head," She winced as the lie struck a nerve.



"Please let me in," he begged, "Please?"

She groaned angrily and stood, twisting the door knob. As the door swung open, she felt woozy and felt herself sway sideways. Hidan's features were blurry and she saw flashes of light dance before her.

Hidan instinctively reached out of catch her. He sighed, "She just moves too damn fast for her own good."

Itachi walked behind and paused, "What happened?" He peered over Hidan's shoulder.

"She collapsed."

"Pity."

They both nodded.

Malem's mind clouded with thoughts. In her head she stood on a sheer cliff. The waves beneath her crashed against the rocks. The wind toyed with her hair and caused her eyes to tear up. The grass rolled at her feet and she looked down at herself. She wasn't in the clothes she fainted in. In fact, she wasn't in clothes at all; Just a cloth of silk that covered the necessities of her figure. She twirled, but the cloth never revealed anything. She walked along the very edge of the cliff, the ground soft beneath her pale skin. The sky of her mind was as violet as her eyes and the atmosphere told her it was nighttime. She hugged herself as she walked. Malem. The breeze called, rushing through her hair. She stopped, the unwelcoming voice whispered in her ear, Malem. The voice sounded to be right next to her. She whirled around and saw her demon's face. The demon cackled and stepped back.

This is fun, isn't it? Your mind is your own little world.

Malem stared, wide-eyed, it was the only thing she did when she came face to face with Caelan.

I can tell what you're thinking, Malem. I am you, remember? The demon laughed again and Malem realized Caelan was wearing her clothes.

I know you love him. You know you love him too. Don't deny me, Malem. The demon saying her name was like a piece of velvet across your ears.

The traumatized girl shook her head. Caelan took a step forward and was instantly in front of Malem again, You love him. You do. You do. God! You're such a pathetic girl! Get to him! Go, go!

"You're helping me?" Malem's rich voice finally said.

Caelan rolled her eyes, it's painful not to.

"How?"

Wake up, idiot.



"How?" She asked again.

Caelan flicked her forehead and Malem tripped backwards. The edge of the cliff wasn't the first thing she noticed, it was the warm feeling on her back. Like someone was holding her up. But she was still falling. Falling to the treacherous rocks below.

Malem's eyelids flew open and she let out a gasp. She was breathing hard and she looked around her. She wasn't in her own bed, but someone else's. The room was empty and she was alone in the dark. She used some chakra from her fingertip to light a candle on the nightstand beside her. With the room illuminated she could see a small, un-kept room. Blood pentacles were all over the walls and floor and by the door she spotted a three sickle scythe. Hidan's room.

The doorknob turned and she twisted her wrist. An unexplainable draft entered the room and blew the candle out. She lay back down and faked her unconsciousness.

"Hello?" Came Hidan's familiar whisper, "You awake yet?"

She didn't reply. You love him. Caelan's words echoed in her mind. Her heart raced.

"I guess not." Hidan sighed; the door opened more, light flooding her face. Footsteps drew closer and with each closing step, Malem's heart skipped a beat. You love him.

Malem bit her lip, she couldn't hide this forever, she shifted and rolled onto her other shoulder.

Hidan stopped, "Are you up?"

She bit down harder on her lip, "Mhm."

"Great. You've been out for about 2 days!"

2 days? But she wasn't in her world for more than 30 minutes.

Hidan sat down on the mattress beside her. Her thigh brushing against his hip.

"We already ate, but if you want anything…"

She shook her head.

"Do you want anything?"

You want him. Tell him, dammit!! Caelan screamed.

She shook her head again.

"Sure." He stood to leave.

She felt her heart sink as he left for the door.

You just blew it!



Malem felt tears well up in her eyes.

Fix things! Do it!

She blinked back the oncoming tears of failure and sat up, "Hidan?"

"Hm?"

"Um, there actually is something that I wouldn't mind…"

He turned to look at her with his piercing eyes that made her choke on her words, "What?"

She waved for him to come closer. He came back over and leaned down to hear her. Before she could get cold feet, she pushed herself closer until their lips met. It was like magic. Her arms slid up around his neck and his around her small waist.

That's my girl! Caelan chuckled.

Everything fell into place. She fit perfectly against him as he held her close. They were like a puzzle with a missing piece, the piece being the courage to return to herself and melt the winter in her veins. But as her blood felt hot and warm as it pulsed through her veins, they both knew that so long as the winter burned away, the long awaited warmth of summer blooms.

Crappy ending? Yes? No? Review please!