I own none of the Downton Abbey characters. I'm only borrowing them for a while.

Home sweet home, Bates thought sarcastically as he and Anna entered their cottage. They used to look forward to their time alone here, but now, with Anna actively trying to avoid all contact with him, it seemed far too small to contain them both. Even going through the door, she took great care to avoid even brushing against him.

He reached out to her again, hoping against hope that she would respond, and his heart sank as he watched her take two steps across the room, using the table as a barrier between them. Before, they would sit at that table after they got home from the Abbey: he would read to her while she worked on Lady Mary's mending, they might discuss little improvements they could make to the cottage on their day off, then they would go upstairs together. Not anymore. Ever since the night of the house party, when she'd fainted and hit her head, Anna barely spoke to him, much less touched him or let him even touch her.

She vanished immediately into the bathroom, closing the door securely behind her –another habit she had developed in the past fortnight. Sometimes he wondered whether he should follow her in, ask for an explanation –plead for one, if necessary. Mr. Carson had reassured him that nothing untoward had happened to Anna at work, so her problem had to involve him. Maybe she didn't only regret the marriage, maybe she'd be happier if he found work away from Downton too, so she wouldn't have to be reminded of the mistake she'd made when she married him?

As had become her habit, Anna shut the bathroom door behind her, though it hurt her to see the pained look on her husband's face as he resignedly watched her shut the door on him and continued limping slowly towards the table. It has to be this way. It's better this way, she thought, beginning to change with her back to the door, just in case. She knew John would never barge in on her, but ever since Mr. Green, she was starting to doubt everything she had ever known about men.

The bruises on her face had now gone down, but she could see that the ones on her arms, ribcage and legs were still a few days away from fading. One of her left ribs ached painfully as she peeled off her corset and she gritted her teeth to avoid gasping from the pain. That would bring Mr. Bates into the bathroom in a heartbeat, closed door or not –and he just couldn't see her like this.

You only have to hide yourself for a few more days, she reminded herself, but truth be told, even the thought of letting him touch her made all the hairs on her body stand on end. She loved John, she knew she did, but she was afraid that instead of John's hands, John's lips on her, she would feel Green's.

She stepped into her nightgown rather than pull it over her head –it hurt her ribs less -and took a deep breath, steeling herself to face John again. He was sitting at the table: book resting on his lap, cane propped against his chair, head bowed.

When he heard the bathroom door squeak open, he turned slowly towards her and she had to stifle a shameful urge to cover herself, to put a barrier between them.

"Anna, please," he began, but she shook her head.

"Not tonight, John, I'm too tired, honestly I am."

"Anna, just tell me what's wrong," he asked, unable to keep the pleading note out of his voice. "I'm not going to push you into anything you're not comfortable with, just please tell me what I've done, or haven't done. Please?"

"Nothing's wrong," she said in a low voice. No matter how many times she'd said that lie over the past 2 weeks, to John, to Mr. Carson, to Lady Mary, even to Ivy and Daisy, it never got any easier to say.

"Goodnight," she said in an even lower voice and started walking up the stairs slowly, hoping he wouldn't follow her.

He didn't follow. She didn't know what was worse, the nights when he followed her upstairs, tried to talk to her and lay next to her as she feigned sleep, or the nights when he didn't come upstairs at all, when he slept downstairs and aggravated his bad leg. She shook her head to clear out the memory of Green calling him "that old cripple" when she thought of John's leg. Those nights were probably the worst, when she had to face the fact that John was willing to sleep on a sofa and be stiff and sore all the next day, simply because he was afraid he had started to repulse her.

John waited at the table for an hour, worrying and wondering. He was afraid Anna wanted a divorce but didn't know how to break it to him... but then he recalled the look in her eyes when she looked at him. It wasn't hatred or disgust, as he had seen in Vera's eyes. It was a desperate, fearful, pleading look, but pleading for what? If she wanted him not to touch her, to approach her for sex, he would respect that, if only she would talk to him.

When he guessed Anna was asleep, or close to it, he climbed slowly up the stairs. Anna was lying with her head buried in the pillow, with only her blonde hair visible. Immediately he noticed that she was only pretending to be asleep. She was lying too still and stiff to be natural, and he thought you could hear an occasional catch in her breath. What was she crying about?

Too afraid to put his arms around her –what if she screamed or pushed him away? –he simply climbed into bed, careful to leave as much space as possible between them. Not that that was difficult: Anna had squashed herself into the smallest possible space on her side of the bed, leaving a good three-quarters of it empty for him.

"You know I love you, don't you?" he asked as he lay down. "I would do anything to make you feel better, no matter how badly it hurts me to do it."

When Mr. Bates was asleep, Anna slipped soundlessly out of bed and went back downstairs, where she sat staring unseeingly out of the dark window, tears of pain and fear flowing freely down her cheeks, until Mr. Bates came downstairs in the morning ready for another day of work, where he found her: red-eyed, bone-tired but still unable to speak to him.

A/N: Next chapter: someone finds out what happened to Anna. Thank you for the reviews, they make my day!