Disclaimer: It's not mine, nothing is mine, except the computer I type this on.
A/N: You know, I really never imagined that so many people would want me to continue this… I don't even know what to say. So I won't say anything. xD Thanks to my reviewers:
From Chapter 1: ForeverBossy26, ToraChibiChan, Onaqua, Mika vamp girl
From Missing: PyroFirePower, Mika vamp girl, justWHOamI
And I cannot believe I forgot to do this in the first chapter, so double double thanks to my beta readers, Forbidden Romance and ToraChibiChan! xDD *cough* Forward March!
Chapter 2
End of Hearts
It was about 4 in the afternoon when Luke saw Jesse again. Holden had gone out to get something for dinner, or so he said. Something about refusing to experience the glorified cardboard that was hospital food again. Personally, Luke thought the sterile smell was getting to him. But even so, it left Luke alone with Noah and his thoughts. Such lovely thoughts they were.
Yeah, right. He'd give anything to go back and stop all this from happening. To stop Noah from getting into his stupid truck and driving 200 stupid miles… A knock on the door pleasantly distracted him. Thinking it was a nurse or his father, he muttered "Come in" without turning to look.
"Hi, Luke!" A genuine smile crossed Luke's lips as he twisted in the chair. There was Jesse, standing in the doorway with the nurse from before. His clothes were different; a plain white t-shirt and loose jeans instead of the scrubs but the bandana was still in place. The spirit Noah, who was sitting on the floor near to Luke's feet, was curious about the grey eyed boy bouncing his way into the room.
"Hey, it's the track star," Luke replied, still smiling as the energetic boy came to stand beside him. "How'd you find me, Jesse?"
Jesse shrugged, gazing at the Noah lying on the bed. "I come up here to visit my mommy every, every day, all the time," He repeated then looked at the nurse, "Right, Lisa?" Luke blinked for a moment. He'd thought that the nurse was Jesse's mother. Apparently he was mistaken.
"I'm Jesse's cousin, Lisa," the nurse answered to Luke's unspoken question. "It's nice to see you again."
Ah, Luke remembered her now. This was the redhead from the O.R. He nodded. "It's nice to see you, too."
"Who's he?" The boy asked, pointing to Noah and Luke's smile faltered a bit.
"Jesse this," Luke placed his hand over Noah's, "This is Noah. He's… very special to me." Noah smiled, his hand tingling from Luke's touch.
"Is he your boyfriend?" There was a pregnant pause as Jesse waited for an answer and Luke tried to cultivate one. Finally Lisa, feeling uncomfortable, bent down to speak to Jesse quietly.
"Jesse, you can't go around saying those things. People can get offended."
"It's alright," Luke said quickly, "Really. It just caught me off guard. Jesse…" Luke swallowed, the words stuck caught in his throat for some reason, "Yes, Noah is my boyfriend. And I love him, very much." Jesse inquired as to what happened to him. "He was in an accident, and" Luke took a breath and rubbed his thumb over Noah's wrist, "he got hurt, really bad."
"I ruined everything for you, Luke," Noah said softly. It was supposed to have been a day for celebration, Luke's day, and he'd decimated it. And now Luke was going to die before he got a chance to apologize. "You don't know how sorry I am."
Jesse looked at Noah, then at Luke, then past Luke to the floor. Wait… he wasn't looking at the floor… was he looking at…? Noah stood, slowly backing away from Luke and crossing to the other side of the bed. Jesse's eyes followed his movements, tracking him. They stared at each other for a while, until Jesse turned to Luke and asked, "How come Noah's so sad?"
"What?" Luke must have misheard him. "What did you say?"
"Noah," Jesse said slowly, "he's really sad about something. Something he did wrong. Something he can't fix." Taken aback, Luke and Noah's jaws dropped, both awed by the small child.
Luke recovered first, questions rapidly forming. "Jesse, what are you-"
"Hey, you wanna see my mom?"
"Uh…" Luke's eyes widened, momentarily forgetting everything he wanted to ask. He nodded dumbly as Jesse took his hand and dragged him from the room. Charlene chose that particular moment to appear from, well, wherever she went.
"Where were you?" Noah asked, anxious to tell her. She opened her mouth to explain but Noah couldn't wait. "Never mind. There was this kid, this boy. I think he could see me. This me!" He was pointing to himself excitedly. "He told Luke…" Noah had a sudden revelation. Something he can't fix… Who said he couldn't try?
"What did he tell Luke?"
Noah waved her question away, "It doesn't matter. Mom, I want to switch places with Luke."
Sarah Winters was a beautiful woman. Curls of chestnut gently framed her oval face, long lashes coming to rest on pale cheeks. She reminded Luke of the fairytale 'Sleeping Beauty', trapped in sleep, ageless through time. For she was trapped in a persistent vegetative state, according to Lisa, due to a bad reaction to medication she was taking for some kind of chronic leukaemia. The same cancer that Jesse was now fighting. Honestly, the whole thing went over Luke's head. He was a bit preoccupied with Jesse conversing with his mother.
"…so then the cup went whizzing through the air like in slow motion… just like in the movies. I was okay, but Luke went down… He's fine, aren't you Luke?"
Luke's head bobbed up and down shortly, and Jesse returned to his story. Not missing a beat, Luke, who was standing at the foot of the bed, turned to Lisa, burning to know something, "Is this normal? I mean, not trying to be rude but does he do this a lot?"
Lisa gave a half smile and shook her head. "Jesse's been like this since he could talk, straightforward and honest. I don't think he knows how to filter what he says, and if he does know, he won't do it."
"Did you know Luke has a boyfriend named Noah?" Jesse chatted on, oblivious to Lisa's words. "He's just down the hall…"
"I believe he has a gift." When Luke raised an eyebrow, she shrugged. "I'm not sure what it is, but if he tells you something, it's the truth. Jesse doesn't lie. If he says Aunt Sarah can talk to him, I believe it."
"How? It's so farfetched, and what he said about Noah-"
"He can hear you, y'know?" Jesse said without turning, but Luke felt it was directed to him.
"What was that?"
Jesse moved then, bringing his legs up to sit Indian style on the chair "Noah. He can hear you when you talk to him. He's not dead, so don't treat him like it."
Although he shouldn't have been surprised, he couldn't help staring at Jesse again. "Why are you saying this?"
"'Cause you may think you have all the time in the world but you don't. If you need to tell him something, do it now, before…"
Where was this coming from? What did he mean? "Before what?" Eyes, now molten silver bore through him, seeing something Luke could not.
"Before you can't."
Charlene's eyes widened as she stumbled over her words. "Noah, what? I… Hey, you called me mom!"
"Don't change the subject. Do your "ferry" deal and switch Luke and me. I'm already half-dead…" Noah narrowed his eyes in suspicion, "You told me that souls are sometimes exchanged, or was that a lie to make me feel better?"
"It wasn't a lie, but it's… complicated. Come sit here," she patted the space beside her on the window. Noah did so and Charlene paused for a moment, thinking. "Noah, when a soul is made, it contains tiny, infinitesimal parts to it. Each is significant, holding some minute detail about you, the way you look, act, even think. Your characteristics, all right there. There is one other person in the world that you could switch places with. The person you're meant for. Can you guess?"
"M-my soul mate?" A nod showed Noah his answer was correct and Charlene continued.
"A soul mate doesn't match your soul exactly; parts are the same, parts are similar, and parts are polar opposites. Soul mates compliment each other. At times, they may seem very different, or come from different worlds. Soul mates may even be on unfriendly terms in some cases. The surge of emotion that wants to push them together is usually interpreted wrong, and a few soul mates have killed their significant other or driven an immovable wedge between the two. It's sad."
A lump formed in Noah's throat as he tried to imagine his life if he'd never met Luke and remained under the Colonel's influence. He could see it all; joining the army, going to Iraq, becoming so crazed that he'd kill his wife. Yes, wife because there was no way in hell Noah was going to be out. With Winston around, any boyfriend he'd had would've died. Like Luke almost did. Like Luke will… "So…"
"I'm sorry, Noah, but your soul cannot be switched with Luke's."
"Mom, please can't you do something?" It hurt somewhere deep inside Noah to know that he wasn't Luke's soul mate. He was sure Charlene would've told him. While dying wasn't on his to-do list, he was going to try everything he could to save Luke.
"No, I can't. There are over six billion souls in the world, Noah. What are the chances of finding that one in less than five days? That said, Luke's soul mate might not even be alive. And if he is, you'd be killing him. Once a switch is made, there's no going back. That soul's slot must be filled by a certain time or both souls are taken."
"But why?"
"Ugh," Charlene raised a hand to her forehead dramatically, "My son, you tire me!" That got a smile out of Noah and she grinned in response. "Please, hold the inquiries until another time. Dusk approaches… and I gotta job to do." She waved goodbye and disappeared just as the door opened.
A heavy weight had settled over Luke after Jesse spoke, adding to the burden already there. He'd left the room in a rush, almost knocking over a young janitor. Waving a 'Sorry!' to the dark-haired man without looking properly, he continued moving. Stopping just outside Noah's room, he proceeded to pace frantically, pulling at his hair, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do, what he was supposed to say. Heat radiated from his right thigh and he knew. Breathing deeply, he placed a shaking hand on the knob and entered.
An eternity passed, maybe more as Luke watched his Noah, still on the bed deep in deathlike trance. But he wasn't dead, at least according to Jesse he wasn't… "Noah," fell out of his lips before he knew it, gaining the spirit's attention. Counting the steps necessary, Luke went over, sat in his chair and promptly forgot everything he'd been planning to say.
"Noah I," he took Noah's hand, sandwiching it between his own. "I don't know if you can hear this or not but… I gotta get this out. It's tearing me apart. I don't even… When you asked me to marry you, I wasn't… I wasn't rejecting you."
"You weren't?" The spirit asked, failing to remember that Luke couldn't hear him.
"Please understand. I'd been having these weird feelings for days, ever since you… And I just, it wasn't right. I couldn't do anything, my parents… you know, they put drugs in my food, to help me sleep?" Noah couldn't believe that Holden and Lily would do that. Luke must have been in a state.
"I-I was so worried, I couldn't sleep, I-I couldn't eat, I just…" Normally, Luke was more articulate than this, not that it wasn't awkward talking to Noah. "And then, when you answered the phone… It was the greatest feeling." For a brief moment, a smile of remembrance alighted Luke's face. "Just to hear your voice, to know that you were okay…" Then it fell away, to be replaced by the saddest of expressions. Noah wanted that beautiful smile back. "But you weren't… you weren't okay."
"Luke…"
"You were hurt. And I kept trying to call you a-and you wouldn't pick up…" Luke seemed to fight the memory as several emotions flickered across his face. All the while, Noah's heart was tearing in two for his love. "You wouldn't pick up… and then in the car, something hit me and the next thing I know I'm jumping out of the moving car like a mad man and running into the trees."
"You didn't jump out of the car, really?"
"It was you again and I knew I had to find you… and then we did and… Noah I thought you were dead." Noah started. He hadn't known it was that bad. At the time, he was too busy trying to stay awake. "There was so much blood and I thought… that I was too late and that I wouldn't get a chance to… to ever talk to you again… to say goodbye…" Luke's eyes shone with unshed tears, but he kept going.
"Then it all started to happen so fast! You were alive… and you wanted me to marry you… and I felt so happy that you weren't dead and so guilty for not trusting you and so scared that this was it for us that I just… I couldn't think! And then you were choking a-and you stopped breathing an-" his breath caught as he held back a sob, hand gripping at the fabric over his own chest. Damn it, he wasn't finished yet!
Noah's eyes burned as he listened to the pain within his lover. "I didn't know, Luke. I couldn't know…" The ventilator hissed softly in the quiet as Luke calmed himself. When he spoke next, it was in solemn whisper.
"It hurt. It hurt so much. I couldn't take it. I know now that if you had died that day, I would've followed you."
"No, Luke!" Noah protested, futilely grabbing for Luke's shoulder. "Do you know how hard I'm working to protect you right now? To keep you alive? Don't say things like that..."
Luke smiled again, this time a bitter thing to watch. Noah wanted it to go away. "I'd follow you anywhere, y'know? And now you're here and I'm talking to you and you'll probably never hear it but… What I'm trying to say is… I'm so sorry, Noah." Sorry? Why was he sorry? "You went so far just to buy me a gift. To ask me a question that I couldn't answer until you weren't able to hear it. You must hate me…"
"Luke, I could never…"
"I haven't even opened it yet." Luke chuckled self-depreciatively. "Yeah, not such a brave Snyder right now, am I? I need you Noah. I need you with me; I need you to give me the strength…"
More than anything, Noah wished at this moment that Luke could see that he wasn't alone. "I'm here! Please know," he placed his hand over Luke's, "I'm right here. It's okay to be afraid, I'm with you."
Luke gasped as he felt a comforting warmth flow through his body. He let go of Noah and dug a hand into his pocket, coming up with the pale box. With trepidation, he opened it and was awed. "Oh, Noah it's beautiful," he breathed.
Sitting in the blue velvet lining was elegant band of silver. No not silver; white gold, set with a row of gems that didn't look a bit like cubic zirconium! (Hey, he wasn't Lucinda Walsh's grandson for nothing…) Luke lifted it carefully, as though it would break if touched coarsely. This had to cost a fortune. "Noah, where did get the money for this? This is just… unbelievable."
Noah beamed. He'd finally done something right. "Look inside the band. I wrote something for you."
Turning the ring over in his palm, Luke noticed a mark on the inner band. "What's this?" He held it up to the light, reading aloud, "Luciano," A smile. Only Noah could… "My love, my heart, Always…" And Luke succumbed to tears again. "Oh God… Noah, wake up. You need to know… I need to tell you… Please…"
Noah hadn't meant to make him cry, not like that. "Luke, no. I heard you, please don't cry. It's okay," he tried, but the moment was lost. Luke was lost to him.
A/N: YasuJ: boop boop be-doop. Tada!
Luke and Noah: *shrug* We gave up last chapter.
YasuJ: Aww, you boys are no fun. We must have Ultimate Dance Party! Come! *drags Luke away*
Luke: But I can't dance!
YasuJ: You're better than college monkey arm pump over there! Oh… R&R Ja ne!
