Disclaimer's go here, if can I think of one explaining I don't own One Piece in a witty enough way.

The Mighty Captain Usopp's Great and Wonderful Journey into another Dimension 2- My boat is not your boat

"Guess who?" Soft hands were placed over his eyes, as someone sidled behind him on the chair.

"No way…" Usopp's eyes went wide. Sanji was right- there was a tenth crew member now…

"Miss me?" Perona hugged him from behind, as Usopp's life flashed before his eyes. The gothic-dressed girl who had nearly defeated them back on Thriller Bark and hated Usopp with a passion… what was she doing here?

Luffy and the others didn't stand a chance… Usopp quickly and decisively thought of several strategies to get his team-mates to safety, which might enable him to defeat her without causing the ship any harm, with a cool and clear head like usual.

"Um… Usopp-kun? Is something wrong?" Perona turned her head sideways, looking at the boy curiously. He was making a strange choking noise, his eyes were blank, and his nose had started running… and he hadn't moved in quite a while.

"Usopp-sop?" She kissed him on the nose lightly (it was hard not to, considering its size), snapping him out of his shocked stupor.

"H-hey! What are you doing here?"

"Wondering about you, silly. Has something happened?"

"Wh- what . . . ," Usopp stammered, losing the ability to make complete sentences at this point. The day had just been too much of a shock to his system, considering he had been fighting for his life in the Shabondy Archipelago before all this. And so he fainted.

When he awoke, he was in a garish room filled with stuffed plush toys, pink walls, and doilies under everything. Looking around slowly, Usopp quickly deduced that this just might be Perona's room. Taking into account Sanji's comment on having ten crew-mates here now, he realised she must be on their side, and have joined the crew. That was a good thing, right?

But then he recalled the way she had acted around him, including the nick-names and the kiss on his nose, shivering. That… wasn't a good thing. Getting out of the overly soft, heavily-pillowed bed, he suddenly caught sight of the girl, flinching. Where had she come from! Her outfit camouflaged her in this room, preventing him from noticing her lying right next to him. She was dressed entirely in black, white and bright red clothes, including stripey socks and a mini skirt, which showed off her midriff.

"Oh, you're up now dear?"

"Um, yeah, I am," stammered the cowardly sniper. "Could you help me out with something, just for a sec?"

"Of course, anything for you," winked Perona, an underlying tone in her voice alarming him.

"Well, uh, see, I think my memories been addled lately, what with shaving off the afro."

"Hmm? Oh!" A shocked Perona put her hands over her mouth. "Your afro! You finally shaved it off!"

She didn't notice something like that?

"Yeah . . . anyway, I think with so much hair rooted in my brain, my memory's gone all fuzzy. Could you help me remember some things?"

"Oh Usopp!" Perona dived out of the bed, hugging him tightly. "You got rid of that icky hairball for me, didn't you?"

Usopp nearly fainted again at the contact, her warm body pressing against him in a way he wasn't used to. Blushing furiously, he tried to pretend she wasn't there- he had barely gotten used to the idea she wasn't trying to kill him yet.

"Yeah, but the thing is, I think it's made my head go a little funny, and I don't want to be embarrassed in front of the others. Could you . . . remind me about the crew?"

"Hmm?" She looked up at Usopp innocently, smiling. "Of course! What don't you remember?"

Thank goodness, I forgot how naïve she is. This should work . . .

"Right, well, lets see. Luffy's still our captain, right?"

"A-huh. He's the reason we're all here!"

"Of course. And . . . we're in the grand line, on the Thousand Sunny, correct?"

"Yep!" Well, that was relief. At least he wouldn't have to re-learn the islands and waters again- he barely remembered Nami's original explanation of how the logpost worked.

"So . . . what's the name of our swordsman again?"

"Hmm? You mean Zoro?"

"Yeah. He-she, still goes by her last name then?"

"Yep. She doesn't really like the sound of Rinoah, after all." Rinoah Zoro? It had barely changed, remarked Usopp. Well, this was helpful. So, what else should he ask her? It would be too hard to ask 'had anything changed' about the others like Franky and Chopper, seeing as that was a normal part of their personality here. He considered checking to see how Perona had joined them, but he got the feeling she would be upset if he forgot something like that.

"We're . . . (he gulped) still together, right?"

"Of course! I'm so glad you didn't forget that, dear!" Usopp felt weak at this turn of events. She really was dating him . . . . Perona was the toughest person he'd ever defeated, and if she was annoyed all of the others could be in danger from her depressing ghosts . . .

Despite how nice she seemed now, he didn't know if he could 'date her'. It wasn't the deceit that bothered Usopp- he was a world-famous liar, with fans around the globe after all, and he barely thought of the people here as real. In fact, he was almost counting on it, this dream taking place while he recovered from a heroic battle.

But even with no qualms about tricking Perona or pretending to date her, it did feel a little wrong. Usopp couldn't help but think of Kaya, and how she was waiting for him back home . . .

Plus, he was really inexperienced with these things.

"Well, let's go up, I think I can smell diner!" She pulled him by the hand, as Usopp gathered his thoughts. It took a little while, as there were many of them (he was incredibly smart, like always). Not because he was feeling dumb-founded, or slow, of course.

"Did I miss lunch?" Usopp questioned.

"Nah, it wasn't worth the trouble- it was all burnt."

"But Sanji never screws up! Er, right?"

"No, he is a good cook . . . ," Perona smiled oddly. "Unless Zoro is nearby."

"Ohh . . . ," Usopp made a retching noise in agreement, making her laugh.

Along the way, they passed an open room.

"Hey, guys, can you help me out?" Franky's voice boomed.

"Hmm? Sure, what's up-" Usopp paused mid-sentence. Franky was inside a plain, unfurnished room, chained against the wall. Giant silver bolts held him tight, to the point he couldn't even move his neck.

"I'm starving! Can you bring me back a sandwich or something later? That'd be super."

"Wh-wh-why are you chained up?"

"Hmm? Dude, it's the full moon. Remember?"

"Um, I think I forgot something again . . . ," Usopp clung to Perona's arm, hoping he hadn't gone insane.

"How could you forget something like this? Franky's been a werewolf for months now, silly!"

At which point a small piece of Usopp felt like running. Very far away. How did they escape a werewolf on such a small boat! How was Franky one, if he was part cyborg! Was anyone else here bitten! He snapped out of his latest panic attack in time to hear Perona laugh off something, and to register Franky's now all-too expected question about his missing afro.

"I'm just wearing an extremely well-made hair net, that's all. Can't you see it?"

"Usopp! Cut it out," giggled Perona, who seemed to enjoy his stories.

"Well, I guess we'll bring some food over later, Franky. Uh, see ya," was his response, as he briskly walked away from the room. The thought of Franky trying to eat him was slightly terrifying. There was probably a story behind how he had been transformed, but Usopp really didn't want to hear it.

At the finely polished dinning table, most of the others had already gathered. Luffy and Nami occupied one end, with Robin, Zoro, and Chopper all waiting along the table. As Sanji was preparing the food, and Franky was still going to be chained up until the next morning, that only left Brooke somewhere else. Steeling himself as he sat next to his buddy Chopper, Usopp noticed he looked exactly the same as always.

"Hey Chopper, how have you been?"

"'ow you say, gut?"

"Argh!" Usopp flinched backwards, hearing a very strange man's accent from the little reindeer boy. He'd never heard anyone like that before . . .

"So, uh, how about that medicine, huh? Study anything good . . .?" Usopp babbled, alarmed when Chopper replied.

"Ist verry going vell," Chopper spoke lowly. "Correction if missing, but you is having der afro before?"

"Yeah, I is, I mean I did have it. They're like hermit crabs, very tricky to tame. My afro finally found someone else to live with, and I've been stuck with ordinary hair since. What d'ya think?" He smiled when Chopper's eyes danced in amazement, believing him completely.

Phew! So he's exactly the same as always, just with an accent? I can deal with that, thought Usopp optimistically. Little did he realise exactly how extreme the differences were between Chopper in his world and now… just as he was about to ask about parallel universes, and if Chopper knew anything that could help him, Usopp noticed Sanji serve their meal.

"Fantastic as always!" Nami tucked into some sushi made especially for her with a flourish, as Luffy laughed in between bites of meat. Did Sanji still flirt with Nami? That can't be right . . . puzzled Usopp.

"Yo, pass tha taters, sniper-boy." Usopp looked around in confusion, not recognizing the voice, until a perfectly manicured hand flew out of the tabletop, forcing him into a headlock.

"I said pass the taters! A'ight?" Robin glared.

"I don't know what they are! Help!" Usopp struggled against the arm, as Chopper and Perona squealed in worry from both sides of him.

"That's how she says potatoes, Usopp." Grumbled Zoro, sliding them across.

He sighed in relief as the arm retreated, slightly shaken.

"Thanks, Zoro." The green-haired girl said nothing, simply trying to eat her stir-fry in peace. Usopp was struck by how unnerving it was to have someone so like the swordsman he knew here, but so different in appearance. Her hair was short and spiky, possibly shorter than his own. She was slight, but had obvious muscle on her exposed arms, and was actually quite pretty despite the glare. Somewhat fortunately, her bust was nowhere near as moon-like as Nami's, at a somewhat normal size.

"Hey, how long 'til the next island?" asked Luffy suddenly.

"There's no way of knowing- this path is uncharted, remember?" explained Nami.

"Wait, this is new waters? Where are we headed then?" Usopp spoke up.

"Geez, can't any of you think? We just left the Shabondy Archipelago, and this is the next place the log post is pointing to. If we want to get out of the Grand line, we have to follow the log post. Have you forgotten everything."

"Wait . . . 'get out of the grand line?' What's she going on about?" Muttered Usopp to himself. Fortunately, Perona heard him and assumed he was asking her, answering him in a hushed whisper.

"Did you forget that too? Dearie, we're all together because we want to escape the Grand Line, remember?"

"Oh . . . of course." Well, that was certainly different.

His shock levels were mildly tested once more as Sanji lit up a joint on the table, smoking it contentedly after his meal.

"Are you smoking near us again, chef-boy? What have I told you about that?" demanded the higher-pitched Zoro.

"Hey- my table, my rules. If the captain ain't fussed, no one can stop me chillin' out for a sec." Sanji emphasised his point, blowing a cloud of purple smoke into Zoro's face.

Wait, purple smoke? What exactly is he taking? Thought Usopp, wrinkling his nose at the powerful smell. Zoro was yelling at Sanji again, shielding her face with the sleeve of her yukata, as Nami tried to get in between them.

"Yo, pass me a roach while you're at it."

"Sure thing, Big Robin." Sanji caved in instantly for the woman like usual, who pocketed it for later. She still had enough sense to not light it up in front of the others, considering how disapproving Nami and Zoro were on the subject.

Usopp was somewhat interested to see their reactions on this- the topic of drug use wasn't something he knew much about. From Chopper's comments, he seemed against them as well, and continued to try to give Sanji some tablets that helped him recover from his highs more quickly. Robin enjoyed the occasional weed, but rarely enjoyed it with Sanji in case her boundaries were lowered too much. Someone mentioned Franky didn't touch that stuff, and that Brooke couldn't smoke like he was, although no one mentioned where Brooke was right now. So . . . Sanji was a dope-head here?

Luffy put a stop to the argument, slamming his rubbery leg across the whole table.

"Alright! Sanji can do what he wants, but he leaves you guys out of it. Smoke outside, or in your own room, alright?"

"You're just saying that 'coz of Nami-chan not enjoying them with me!"

"Hey, that's not fair! Take that back!"

"Whipped," muttered the blond cook.

"Fine! If your smoking messes with another battle, or your cooking starts to stink because of it, I'm throwing all of your stash overboard!"

"Like hell you are!"

"Hey who's captain around here?" Luffy stood up, starting to get pissed.

"Fine . . . ," Sanji sauntered off, stumbling slightly.

"Do not be fighting!" Squealed Chopper in his bizarre loud voice.

"Guys, stay happy!" Perona insisted.

Usopp felt oddly out of place- it seemed like the whole crew were used to fights about Sanji's drug habit. Luffy had gotten angry almost immediately, despite his usual happy-go-lucky-go-stupid demeanour, suggesting fights about this were frequent.

As far as Usopp's own opinions, he guessed it was wrong, but he didn't know if Sanji was nasty when high or buying them illegally or anything. Besides, he was scared of saying the wrong thing, and annoying one of the others.

Luffy ate another fish whole, while Nami whispered in his ear, and he seemed to relax a bit more. Sighing, and patting his finally-full stomach, Luffy left to use the bathroom. Zoro went for a snooze, while Nami was after a bath. Chopper and Robin reminded Usopp that his turn to watch Franky was later that night, after both of theirs.

"What do you mean, watch him?"

"He's turning, fool. Nami did a list wit shifts, ta make sure he don't eat off our faces at night."

"I thought he was chained up!" Usopp's voice went up several octaves.

Robin merely shrugged, prompting Chopper to explain.

"Is unsure, chain hold or no. Ist best to be safe, yes?"

"Um, yeah, I guess. He is kinda strong . . . ," Usopp muttered. Checking the list, he found out he had to wake up at three in the morning to sit with Franky, until sunrise when he would turn back. Oh, that was great . . .

Dragging his feet across the boat, Usopp really, really wished he was back with his crew. Things seemed to be spiralling out of control, and fast. They were headed from the grand line, with a werewolf, he apparently had his deadliest rival as a cheerful girlfriend, and he still had no clue how to return out of this dimension. As Chopper had headed straight to watch over Franky for the first shift, (with sandwich in tow), Usopp couldn't bring himself to talk about dimensions with the young reindeer just yet. The more time with a werewolf, the more chance of dying, he steadily believed.

As Perona left his side to head to her room, she kissed him lightly, mouth-to-mouth. Usopp felt his face redden, not expecting the touch so suddenly.

"Are you okay? You seem all out of sorts, like Bearsy on a good day."

"No, I'm fine, really . . . just still feelin' the afro thing, really."

"Okay. Thankyou for that, again." Perona looked at him, her face uncomfortably close. He'd never noticed how tall and thin she seemed.

"Well, I should get some sleep, I have to uh, guard Franky later. See you in the morning!" Usopp made a hasty retreat, sweating. Could he really keep this up? Someone was bound to notice he wasn't their Usopp soon . . . what would happen to him then?

A/N: Everyone who knows me would have seen this coming; Perona's my favourite non-strawhat character in the series. I should warn anyone who doesn't like Usopp x Perona right now that I'll focus on it a little more later on.

Now accepting any ideas for cameos, such as a lesbian Boa Hancock, or a bikie Jimbei (neither of which are actually happening, rest assured). If I haven't already planned out a character, I'll happily use any good ideas you PM me with. Now, onwards to the werewolf action!