Delicate
A/N: Thank you all so much for the nice reviews! They were greatly appreciated, so please keep them coming. I have some ideas for some other stories (way too many ideas, actually!) so hopefully I'll be able to work on them too. This story isn't going to be too long, and I'm actually going to post a three-parter story as well really soon, so if you like my writing, look out for it! Thanks again for all the positive feedback! Remember, your reviews are my fuel!
Chapter Two: To Be Alone With You
Everything shifted one night a couple of weeks later. It seemed like a normal day in the Venturi-McDonald household at first. Derek spent the day tormenting his siblings in various ways as usual. I, of course, was not exempt from this torture; if anything I got more than usual, with Derek shooting me snide comments about everything from the way I neatly ate my French toast at breakfast, cutting precisely with my knife, to the new highlights I had in my hair. At dinner he still gazed at me with intensity when he thought I wasn't looking and still glanced away casually when I returned his looks, daring him to stare into my eyes for once. I was still slightly uncomfortable under his gazes, and yet beginning to feel more confident because of them. I knew that despite all the cruelty and torment he put me through during the day, at night I'd feel special to him again. I'd be special to him again.
An average Sunday night felt like a blessing to me. I never minded the monotony or predictability of routine. In fact, I thrived on it. Everything was going according to plan, which pleased me. However, my plan was tripped up a bit as I slowly crept downstairs at five after midnight to see the couch empty, the television dark. Maybe Derek's just a bit late doing an assignment or something, I told myself as I sat down on the achingly bare couch, trying to remain calm. Okay, maybe he's a bit late planning some sort of prank or calling one of his conquests, I reconsidered. That thought wasn't too much comfort though, and caused my stomach to tie up in anxious knots.
Just as I started to consider what I'd do if Derek for once did not show up for our nightly rendezvous, I heard the soft thumps of Derek making his way down the staircase. Turning to see his dishevelled appearance, I smiled brightly at him, hoping he didn't sense the relief in my face. He smiled back lightly, almost as if he didn't want to, but was unable to keep the corners of his mouth from turning upwards.
He only said two words. "My room," he stated matter-of-factly. With that, he turned around on his heel and marched right back upstairs. That is, if marching could be as casual and lazily sexy as he managed to be as he walked. Glad that he wasn't there to see the panic and concern flicker across my face, I considered the implications. His room?! But what did he expect me to do there? Did he think I'd just sleep with him, like that? That I'd give it all up and become one of his conquests with no arguments or conversations? What the hell was going on?
Furiously I stood up and silently but swiftly padded up the stairs. I reached Derek's room and opened the door without any hesitation. There laid Derek, stretched across his bed casually, as his fingers reached up his shirt to scratch himself, allowing a bare tantalizing view of skin to be shown. I don't admit things like this easily, but I was thrown off by this glimpse into the unknown, and was unable to speak for a few seconds, allowing Derek to cut in with another one of his trademark witty quips.
"Just because you're here by invitation doesn't mean you're allowed to ignore the knocking rule, Space Case," Derek teased.
Finally my tongue allowed me to respond. "What the hell Derek? We have a system. An orderly, predictable, reliable system. And you ruined it! What am I doing up here? Let's go back downstairs before someone catches us, or we 'ruin it', like you always worry about!"
"Shut the door please, Case, or else you'll wake up the whole household," Derek remarked calmly. His calm was even more infuriating.
Glaring at him fiercely, I reached backwards with my foot and swung the door closed.
"Good, now lock it," Derek said with a sly smile, his voice charmingly persuasive and yet arrogant, his eyes twinkling mischievously, even in the dim lighting.
With an exaggerated sigh, I turned and with my thumb pressed the lock down with a click. "Now what, oh master?" I asked sarcastically.
The smirk on Derek's face grew. "Now, sit on my bed. Please," he added as an afterthought.
With a roll of my eyes, I did so, tucking the smooth locks of my straight hair behind my ears. A nervous habit.
"Now, what's the problem?" Derek asked, and just as I opened my mouth to respond, he cut in again. "Besides you missing your lame predictability, of course." He chuckled to himself, enjoying the frustration I obviously emanated.
"I'm not…" my anger gave way to vulnerability and fear as I glanced away, unwilling to see the self-satisfied smirk he was sure to have at the following words. "I'm not going to sleep with you…" I said quietly, uncertainly. "I'm not ready…" catching my breath, I stopped and then continued angrily, fuelled by Derek's silence. "If you think I'm like all the other girls and that you can just use me, and charm me into sleeping with you, with a smile or a compliment or an arch of those ridiculous eyebrows, you're mistaken. I'm not that kind of girl, Derek! I can't believe you'd think—"
I stopped as I felt a warm hand cup my cheek. Turning finally to face Derek, I didn't see amusement or annoyance on his face, but care and concern. It completely took my breath away.
After a moment of silence, he finally spoke. I was glad he did, because I couldn't. Not after seeing the look on his face.
"I would…" he paused. "I didn't think…" he shook his head, his shaggy hair moving with conviction. "I'd never…" I was surprised at this turn of events. Whatever I expected him to say, Derek Venturi unable to find the words to speak his mind was something I could never predict. He took a deep breath in, and let it out with a sigh. "I wouldn't do that to you, Casey," he said softly. My name wasn't an insult or a dirty word in his voice, it was endearing, affectionate, almost like a pet-name.
"Okay," I said in return, my eyes searching his. He didn't need to say any more or explain. That was all I needed to hear. As I gazed into his eyes, just as I longed to earlier at dinner, I hoped I was able to convey those thoughts of acceptance to him. I seemed to, because with a careful stroke downwards, he let go of my face and laid back once more, smiling confidently. My cheek felt bare, like someone had taken something that was meant to be there, like my nose or my eyes, and left it blank. I missed the palm of his hand there.
"Turn off the light," he said calmly, as if the last two minutes of intimacy and understanding had never happened and he had just ordered me to sit down on his mattress. Instead of doing so with a snide comment or a roll of my eyes, or simply refusing to be ordered around at all, I did as he asked. After what he said, the look on his face… the way his skin felt against mine, I knew I couldn't resist. I'm sure he knew that too.
As I flicked the light beside his bed off, darkness surrounded us. I couldn't even see Derek anymore, but I could hear the quiet breathing coming from the direction I knew he was.
"Now what?" I said softly. Tell me to kiss you.
"Get under the blankets with me," Derek said, amused.
I did as he asked, lifting the comforter and sliding myself underneath, getting a whiff of Derek as I did so. It was a guy smell… laundry detergent, mixed with aftershave, mixed with deodorant, mixed with cologne. But it was him. It was the scent I always sniffed as I cuddled close to him. And now I was surrounded by it. I was practically swimming in it.
I sat there tensely, holding my knees against my chest under the blankets as I awaited my next order in silence.
"Come closer," Derek commanded, his voice confident and sly. I could practically hear the smirk in his voice.
I released the grip on my knees, slowly letting my legs slink down against the sheets, as I laid down on my back. Sliding over, I felt warmth encircle me as Derek pulled me into his arms. I relaxed into familiarity as I turned to him, our bodies practically spooning, but in the opposite direction, so that we were facing each other, our legs touching and our arms encircling each other.
"Casey," Derek said against my neck, as he breathed in deeply. It wasn't a question, as much as a statement. Casey. My name had never sounded better on anyone else's lips.
I slid my hands up and down his back, feeling his shoulders through the thin material of his t-shirt. I couldn't help but wonder what they felt like bare.
Although the silence which had engulfed us was not awkward; it was more comfortable; companionable, Derek soon broke it with a statement. He never seemed to ask anything, but tell. Even when he wanted a response to a question. He seldom asked, but usually told the person to answer. It was the same with me, but for once, I wanted him to ask me something. A straight out question. What are you feeling right now, Case? If he asked me that, I'd answer truthfully.
"You follow directions really well," he said, his voice deep as he tried to remain quiet.
"Thanks," I said lightly. And then decided to put something out there, and see what I'd get in response. Testing the waters. "Any more orders?"
Derek hesitated, as his hand continued to stroke the curves of my waist, back and forth. Finally, he leaned forward, his mouth achingly close to my ear.
"Tell me a secret," he breathed, the whispered tones of his voice giving me goosebumps and making me long to touch him… everywhere.
"A secret," I considered out loud, still excited by Derek's close proximity. What could I tell him that would a) satisfy his curiosity b) not be too revealing and c) allow me to tell him in so many words that I wanted him to kiss me, touch me, tell me how he felt… but only if he wanted to.
Unsure, confused and unable to come up with anything that even remotely covered those three rules, I said the only thing that I could come up with, that was complimentary and inviting, and yet safe, so that if he laughed at it, I wouldn't be hurt.
"I don't… completely… hate you," I said.
Derek chuckled lightly, but not in a mocking way, more in a happy way, which filled me with relief. "Same here, Case," he responded in turn.
Working up the courage, I reached for Derek's hand and intertwined my fingers with his. "Tell me a secret," I offered gently.
"I know I teased you about your hair before, but it actually looks really cute," Derek said lightly.
"De-rek!" I exclaimed. "While it's nice to hear something complimentary for once, that was lame, as far as secrets go."
"Yours wasn't much better," Derek stated simply.
"Well, then set the example."
"Okay."
"Well…"
"Ask the question again," Derek replied. "I'm ready."
I sighed. "Okay. Tell me a secret," I repeated.
"I think you're probably the most beautiful girl I've ever met," Derek said automatically, as if he had rehearsed this in his head a million times before.
"Don't joke!" I exclaimed, unsure of whether he was being serious or not. "I was telling the truth before!"
"So was I," Derek whispered, as he squeezed my hand in his.
My heart leapt up in my chest, and my mouth stretched into a huge smile that I was unable to contain. "Really?" I asked eagerly.
"Mm hmm," Derek replied lightly, his thumb lightly stroking my palm. "But don't let it go to your head or anything. I haven't met Rachel McAdams yet," he teased.
I smiled at that, as I rolled my eyes, feeling more at ease with the joking than the compliments. They felt amazing, but I still had no idea how to react to them.
Derek let go of my hand and instead draped his arm around my back, to match the other. He pushed me closer to him. I was keenly aware that his face was two inches from mine. How could I not be, with his hot breath against my cheek.
"Tell me another secret," he said, this time more gently, almost as if he was asking, not telling.
I decided it was the time to put myself out on an emotional limb, and so I took a deep breath in and out, and followed it up by swallowing loudly. "These nights… these times with you…" I hesitated, and as his warm eyes smiled encouragingly at me, I got the nerve to continue. "They mean a lot to me. They're my favourite part of every day," I finished shyly.
Without responding immediately, Derek reached his hand from my waist to push back my hair from my face. It was an affectionate gesture, almost a 'thank you', in Derek speak.
I didn't even have to ask him to tell me another secret of his own. He did so automatically, to skip a step. "I've never hated you," he stated directly, his voice quiet, yet warm. "At first, when I met you, I was intrigued. I thought 'who is this girl? She's so confident, so self-assured, so complex so… different from anyone else.' As I got to know you better, I thought that there couldn't be any two people less alike. I just didn't understand you, and I felt like you could never understand me. But over time I came to see that the reason why we fight so much isn't 'cause we're so different from each other, but because we're so alike. When I came home and saw you crying that one day, it hurt me. It actually physically hurt me to see you like that. And I realized it's because I care about you. No, before you ask, not like a sister. Like a best friend I never knew I had. So I just want you to know, in case I don't say it a lot or you're unsure of my real… feelings, I do really, really care for you, Casey."
As he finished the confession he had delivered to the wall, he looked over at me, like a vulnerable puppy dog, hoping for a treat. I had never seen that side of Derek before. I instantly wanted to reassure him that everything he had just said was more than okay with me.
I reached up my hand to brush through his hair, hoping this gesture of intimacy would give him as much calm as it had given me when he had done it. "I care about you too Derek."
He smiled at me then, a real genuine smile, and then held me close against him, his chin resting on my shoulder, as my chin rested on his. And then we slept, knowing things were definitely changing, and hopefully for the better.
A/N: Sorry, there was too much to get through to do the Casey helping Derek with Sally thing, so I'll work on that next chapter. This seemed like a good place to end.
Next chapter: After Derek teases Casey about her potential feelings for him; she attempts to prove him wrong by helping him with Sally.
