Chapter Three

A hand snaked out from beneath the covers and fumbled for the alarm clock. The buzzing didn't stop and so another hand joined in the attempt to halt the noise. Once the phone had been pulled off its hook and the clock dropped on the floor, the person beneath the comforter woke enough to realise it wasn't the phone or alarm making all the noise; it was the door buzzer. Feet were thrust into slippers, left foot in the right one and right foot in the left. A dressing gown was grabbed and eventually a light was switched on and a spy hole peered through.

"Josh!" Donna immediately pulled the chain away and unlocked the door. "What are you doing, it's two am, what are you doing here?"

Josh's reply was to stagger forward into Donna's arms. Another time she would have made a joke about him finally falling for her but she knew that whatever had caused Josh to turn up drunk on her doorstep was nothing to joke about. "Let's get you inside," she muttered as she supported Josh into her apartment and onto the sofa. "I'll make some coffee. If you need to throw-up please go that way," she said as she pointed to the bathroom door and then left the room, closing the door to her bedroom on her way past. Josh didn't move while she watched the coffee start its slow dripping journey into the jug below. She tried to work out what could have happened and thought about throwing the coffee over Josh's head if he had come over seeking refuge from trouble with Amy. The sudden thought that Josh was meant to be out with Toby, CJ and Sam made her move quickly back into the living room. "Is everyone okay? I just realised, you were all out tonight. Did something happen?"

Josh's head slowly rose and the look on his face made his words superfluous. "Yeah, something happened." He swallowed and looked up at Donna. "Which direction was it again?"

It was after Josh had emptied his stomach of its largely alcoholic content that Donna led him back to the sofa, fetched the coffee and a large glass of water and sat beside him. "Tell me."

Josh took a long sip of water and rolled the cool glass across his forehead before answering. "We were talking about Gillmore. Sam got mad then he walked, well stormed, out of the restaurant."

Donna took the water away from him and replaced it with coffee. "And?"

Josh shook his head. "I didn't even think about how long he'd been…" She took the cup out of his now trembling hands. "Toby went…he went to look for him. I didn't. He went …he was…they beat him up."

Donna scooted around so she was looking directly at Josh. "Who was beaten up? Toby?"

"No, not Toby! Sam, Sam was in the alley…it was Sam. They'd cut him too he was bleeding. I didn't go look for him."

"Oh my God, Josh!" Donna's hand flew to her mouth and Josh looked up at her wide eyes. She took his hand. "Stay here, sober up, then go see Sam in the morning."

Josh nodded. He lay down on the sofa and in a move that surprised Donna, rested his head on her lap. She stayed until he was asleep, covered him with a blanket and then went back to bed. She watched muted footage of Sam's attack on CNN. She woke four hours later to find the television still silently splashing pictures into her room. The story hadn't changed.

Toby had been home for an hour, changed and eaten. He had removed his blood soaked shirt, thrown it away and changed into something more comfortable, pretty sure he would be spending most of the day ahead on plastic chairs which he was certain weren't designed to be sat on for longer than an hour. He was grateful it was Saturday and he didn't have to worry about going into work. The doctor had told him that Sam would probably not wake for a few hours but Toby had been as quick as he could getting back to the hospital to make sure he was there when Sam woke up.

He discovered he could have spent a few hours more at home. Sam was still asleep when he arrived and remained so for two hours more. A doctor and two nurses had checked on him by the time he finally opened his eyes. A soft sigh was Toby's first indication that Sam was waking. A small rustle of material and then a short moan as Sam tried but failed to sit up. A different nurse appeared and cheerily said good morning to Sam. She raised the head of the bed slightly and completed the same checks on the tube running from Sam's chest as the nurses before her. "You've got a visitor, Sam, time to open those remarkable eyes of yours."

Toby didn't think Sam's eyes were remarkable. He couldn't picture them as anything but filled with pain and fear. He'd somehow lost all memory of their incredible hue and the spark that ignited within them when Sam was fired up about something. He found himself not wanting Sam to open his eyes just in case that spark had been extinguished for good.

"Go 'way."

The nurse simply smiled at Sam's bad tempered greeting. "Come on, Sam, open up. It's time to wake up now. Maybe have some breakfast?"

Another sigh, then silence, then Sam's eyes slowly opened. He blinked and squinted against the sunlight and Toby stood and walked towards the window pulling the blinds until the sun was blocked out. When he returned, Sam was looking up at him and Toby was relieved to see his eyes showed only tiredness. The pleading look that had moulded itself to Toby's mind had gone.

"Toby." Sam raised his hand slightly and Toby took hold of it. "You stay all night?"

"I've been home. It's no problem. You'd do the same for me." Toby patted Sam's hand and then reached for the jug of water by his bed. "You want some?" Sam nodded and waited while Toby poured a small amount into a cup and helped Sam to drink it. "How do you feel?"

"Better than last night." Sam looked up at Toby and smiled before letting his eyes slowly close again. "Drugs good," he said slowly and then his head rolled slightly away as he once more returned to a much needed sleep.

Toby was tucking into a breakfast in the cafeteria when Josh arrived. By the time Toby was ready to return, Josh had been sitting by Sam's bed for fifteen minutes. He had a copy of The Post but it was unread and sat neatly rolled on his lap. "Did you stay all night?" Josh asked on seeing Toby enter the room.

A noncommittal mumble was the reply as Toby walked over to the window and fetched a chair from beneath it. "Did you drink all night?"

Josh flashed a look at Toby ready to defend himself but realising there was no malice behind the question he answered that he'd been drinking for most of it. "The rest was spent on Donna's sofa." Josh looked back at Sam who hadn't moved since Toby had left over thirty minutes earlier.

"They're going to take the tubes out this morning. They said it's done whatever it was supposed to be doing." Toby reached for Sam's hand. It was difficult to hold; the cast came down to his knuckles but Toby looped his fingers around the ones that emerged from the rigid support. "They said his wrist should take a few weeks to heal. The stab wound on his arm is deep and he'll need some physio."

Josh nodded and stared at Sam's hand lying on the bed beside him. "I'm sorry I didn't stay."

Toby glanced at Josh then returned his gaze to Sam. "Who are you apologising to, me or him?"

Josh ignored him and his hand moved towards the bed. It hovered over Sam's for a moment and then Josh stood up abruptly. "I need to head in. Can you write a statement for CJ?"

"I sent it over an hour ago." Toby turned his attention back to Sam. "You go, if you think that's where you should be."

Josh stopped putting on his coat and turned back to Toby. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Toby was about to tell Josh exactly what it meant when the entrance of a doctor halted his words. Toby and Josh were ushered outside. Josh was halfway down the corridor before Toby had made it through the door. Toby shook his head and took a seat opposite the agent that had been posted outside Sam's room. He thought about CJ and wondered how she was coping with not only Sam's attack but the fallout from the Gillmore revelations. He wondered if that was why Josh was finding it so awkward to be with Sam now. He thought back to the meeting three weeks ago when things had gone disastrously wrong between them.

Leo took the piece of paper from Margaret and read it silently. CJ glanced at Toby and raised her eyebrows. Leo seemed to be taken aback by what he was reading. He sat down at his desk and removed his glasses. "It's not our problem anymore. Tom Gillmore has resigned, apologised and withdrawn his accusations."

The news that the man who had been hounding Leo with fresh accusations of alcohol and drug abuse, evidence of secret AA meetings at the White House and supposed evidence that Leo had fallen off the wagon during the campaign, was suddenly no longer a problem should have prompted cheers of celebration amongst the Senior Staff. It did not. It simply caused confusion as to why a man so determined to bring down the Chief of Staff would suddenly give up and, what's more, retract all of his accusations publicly.

Toby scratched his head. "This is…it's good, but unnerving."

"I'll say," Sam agreed.

Margaret entered again and told Leo to turn on the TV. He picked up the remote and didn't have to ask which channel; Gillmore was on every news station. Toby stopped pacing and stood by the screen as revelations about Gillmore's wife's drink and drug dependency were broadcast. Pictures of her leaving a clinic mid-week were shown shortly followed by pictures of her at a DC function being helped into her car. The images caused a silence to fall over the room. A defeated and emotional Tom Gillmore appeared on screen and begged for his wife to be left alone.

Leo switched the TV off and dropped the remote back onto the desk. "Who did this?"

Toby sat down beside Josh and shook his head. "There are a number of people who would want to see him go down, Republicans included. Just be glad that you're off his agenda now."

"Be glad? I'm supposed to be glad that his wife has been dragged into the public eye at a time when she clearly needs to be getting some help? I'm supposed to be glad about her being a victim of the media because of me?"

"Yes," Toby answered simply. "No one would have wanted it this way but it's happened so we just have to forget the less than good circumstances and be grateful for the consequences."

"I'd have rather been indicted than see someone else used like this."

"No you wouldn't!" Josh had remained silent since entering the room but now he stood and walked over to Leo's desk. "You wouldn't have survived a second time. You needed this to go away and now it has."

Leo sat back in his chair and stared at Josh. He remembered how Josh had been last Christmas during the hearings, how he spent days trying to find a way to get Leo out of them. He thought back to Josh and Sam going to Laurie and asking her for a name to use as blackmail. He thought about how Josh had been distant the past couple of weeks, secretive and had seemed so stressed until a few days ago. "Did you do this?"

The question took everyone by surprise. Josh looked down at the floor and then looked back up at Leo. He let a small chuff of nervous laughter escape. "Of course I didn't."

Leo relaxed and smiled tightly. "Good, because that's not how we do things and for me to be saying that to you shows how far we've gone off track lately." He picked up his notes and was about to move on when Sam stood up and spoke to Josh's back.

"Why did you meet with Emerson last Thursday?"

Only Leo could see the look that flashed across Josh's face. By the time he turned around his expression was neutral. "Because we both appreciate a good Thai meal and things were slow on the Hill."

Sam stepped towards him. "Emerson worked for Gillmore. He worked for him for three years. He fired him last March, no one knows why and Emerson hasn't worked since, can't get a job. Gillmore has made sure of that."

"What exactly are you saying, Sam? Are you suggesting I employ Emerson for some temp work?"

"Did you do this?" Sam repeated Leo's question.

"Look, everyone in this room is relieved beyond words that Gillmore is off the scene and sure, let's be noble and empathetic about the plight of Mrs Gillmore but let's not suddenly pretend we'd go back and change what happened if we could. There are always going to be victims of-"

"Did you do it?" Sam asked again. Toby sat further forward ready to stop Sam from hurling himself at Josh. His body language and tone of voice indicating he was ready to do just that.

Josh stared at Sam and tried to ignore the disappointment that he saw on his face. "No. I didn't have anything to do with it."

The tension left Sam and mistaking it for relief, everyone else in the room relaxed as well. It came as even more of a shock then when Sam took a step closer to Josh and in a voice filled with quiet anger spat, "Liar!"

"Sam!" Josh's incredulous tone did little to appease Sam. Their eyes met for a brief second and then Josh quickly looked away.

"You've got a pretty bad poker face, Josh." Sam shook his head and before Josh could reply, stormed out of the office.

Toby tried to remember if he had seen Sam and Josh talk since that meeting and came to the conclusion that he hadn't. Sam had taken Josh's actions against Tom Gillmore almost personally. It was as if all the disappointments, lies and betrayals of the past couple of years had been encompassed by that one act of Josh's. He had known the two men had grown distant recently but always assumed their friendship pre-dated their time in office and would outlast it as well. Josh had made no attempt to talk to Sam. In a staff meeting called later that day he had explained that he had never meant for the news about Gillmore's wife to become public. It was just supposed to get to Gillmore that they knew about it. Bartlet had shaken his head. "Oh, blackmail, well that's okay then, as long as you haven't done anything morally reprehensible!" The last word had been shouted and Toby had winced as Josh visibly jumped at the sound of it.

The sound of the door to Sam's room opening drew Toby away from his thoughts and he stood and approached the doctor. "How's he doing?"

"Not too bad, considering. His lung has responded well to treatment. That was my main concern. Some of his injuries will need a certain amount of therapy but they'll heal too, given time."

"Can I sit with him?"

"Please. He's awake but I doubt he will be for long."

Toby nodded and headed for the door. He didn't care if Sam was awake or not, he'd sit and watch him for as long as he needed to in order to dispel the images from the alleyway. Sam's eyes were closed but he was awake. He looked relieved on opening them to find only Toby sitting there. "Some agents are coming to talk to me later."

"Are they? You best get some sleep now then." Toby sat back in the chair knowing he would be staying until the agents had finished questioning Sam.

"Can't." Sam closed his eyes despite his protest. Toby soon knew what Sam meant though. Every time he seemed to be drifting off he would start as if shaken. His eyes would spring open and his breathing quicken. The third time this happened he kept his gaze fixed on Toby as his breathing slowed. "Keep seeing…"

"I know," Toby soothed. He could imagine the sorts of things Sam would be seeing every time he closed his eyes.

Toby marvelled at how natural it felt to be comforting Sam. "Shall I get a nurse? Do you want something to help you sleep?"

"No. I'll just close my eyes and rest." Sam's eyes closed again but this time he felt the hands on his arm and head and sleep, although fitful, soon came.

Josh's shoes had become a source of fascination. They were propped up on his desk and he had been staring at them for the past thirty minutes. Donna had looked in on him twice and both times had thought better of disturbing him. His eyes were fixed on his shoes but his mind was stuck on the words he had said to Sam in the restaurant the night of the attack. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't find a reason to justify what he had said or the venom with which he had said it. He couldn't rid his mind of the look on Sam's face or on Toby's as he had sat at the table in silence until finally going after Sam.

"What is it with you? Sam Seaborn, the idealist of the White House, dreaming of utopia while the rest of us get the work done. Do you really think there's a place for guys like you in government apart from making the rest of us look good?"

Josh winced as he remembered the silence that had followed. He hadn't meant a word of what he'd said but Sam's inability to move past what had happened with Gillmore had made him livid. Josh closed his eyes and hoped Sam didn't remember the words as clearly as he could. He hoped that he only remembered the friendship they'd had and not what it had become.