Brittany couldn't help it.
Her mouth was dry.
Her nerves were on fire.
Her legs were bouncing up and down in front of the stool so rapidly that the blur they made would've introduced The Flash to the green-eyed monster.
Brittany couldn't breathe.
She had scoured every single hallway (even the one where she knew the creepy janitor lived in his closet of wonders) for Santana after her...confession...
After Brittany had dug even further into her hole of a relationship with Artie.
Brittany didn't know what to do anymore.
She thought that she had told Santana exactly what she should have.
She thought that it would make Santana happy, and leave Artie's heart unbroken.
But...
It hadn't.
Brittany felt, deep in her heart, she had done something irrevocably wrong.
Something that had tipped Santana's world on its axis.
That's why she had spent her last two class periods preparing a song.
A song to sing to Santana.
...If Santana would even show up to glee...
No, when Santana showed up to glee.
So.
Here Brittany was.
On one of the most uncomfortable stools ever.
Waiting to repair what she was sure she had destroyed.
What might actually not be repairable.
What mi-
Mr. Schue cleared his throat, snapping Brittany out of her reverie.
"Brittany..." he goaded gently.
Brittany nodded in understanding.
After all, they did have Regionals next week.
Regionals were far more important to Mr. Schue than Santana was to Brittany.
Or so Brittany had probably lead Santana to believe.
Which was also probably why Santana hadn't shown up.
Wouldn't show up.
Might nev-
No, Brittany thought, Santana told me she would never go that far.
She promised.
Brittany took in a shaky breath, and motioned for the band to start playing.
Were you named for the river that surrounds
All my biggest my mistakes or the way that I made it out
All the muscles in my mouth never smiled or said profound things
Until the day she handed you to me
Truest words to ever leave Brittany's mouth.
Before she met Santana, she lived in a haze.
She drifted through life.
Santana was Brittany's rock these past 2 ½ years of highschool.
And now...
Now for all the steps you'll take and all you'll overcome
I wanna be the one to put in a song
Take every single tear for all the world to hear
I wanna be the one to put it in a song
Why wasn't Santana here?
Because I broke her...
I took a sledgehammer to her already cracking heart.
I swung and I caused her heart to crumble...
A single tear rolled down Brittany's face as she continued to sing the upbeat song.
The perky music that accompanied the lyrics...
The absolute antithesis of how Brittany currently felt.
She needed Santana to be here.
She didn't like how Artie was smiling at her.
This song wasn't his.
It was Santana's.
Brittany needed Santana to hear these lyrics.
She needed her to know she didn't mean what she had said in the hallw-
The blonde wanted so terribly for Artie to stop.
To stop mouthing along with her.
To Santana's song.
Cigarettes are raining har-
Brittany couldn't take it.
She stopped singing abruptly, and the band followed suit.
Most of the glee club looked stumped- why had Brittany stopped?
Artie, however, was still beaming as Brittany stalked towards him.
This was the last straw for the former Cheerio.
"This. Was. Not. For. You." she fumed.
Artie looked at her with a mix of confusion and smugness coloring his face.
"If not me, then who for, Britt. I-" Artie was completely cut off as Brittany started seeing red.
"You ARE a robot, aren't you? Only robots are this stupid. Seriously. YOU THINK I FEEL LIKE THIS ABOUT YOU? WHO WOULD FEEL LIKE THIS ABOUT A STUPID, WHEELCHAIR BO-" Brittany's face was turning purple with uncharacteristic rage by the time Mr. Schue decided to intervene.
He put a hand on her shoulder...
This sudden contact...
It broke Brittany.
She started quietly sobbing.
Artie rolled away from her, a single tear staining his glasses.
As he neared the door, Brittany whispered "It was for her. It was always for her. Always. Artie,"- at this, the boy turned his wheelchair so he could face Brittany's heaving shoulders- "You made me break her. You made me destroy Santana.".
Artie gaped at her.
Then his eyes narrowed.
He opened his mouth.
"I..." Artie stopped.
He had nothing to say to Brittany.
Fuming, Artie turned around to go out the choir room door-
Only to be knocked over by Ms. Holiday running at top speed.
The bump in the figurative and literal road that was Artie could not stop Ms. Holiday.
But...
It could have quite possibly wrecked Santan-
Holly ceased thought as she grinded to a halt in front of the glee club.
What happened next...
Holly wrapped her thin, but strong arms around Brittany in what could only have been described as a a death grip.
"Ms. Holiday...MS. HOLIDAY I CAN'T BREATHE!"
At this outcry from a one Brittany Pierce caused Holly's mind to flicker back on.
When Brittany turned around to face her "attacker", she noticed...
"Ms. Holiday, why are you cryi-"
Holly shook her head at Brittany's budding question.
This silenced the blonde.
Her favorite substitute was never at a loss for words.
What is going o-
Brittany's thoughts were cut off as Holly cleared her throat.
The entire glee club listened in as Holly started to speak.
"Brittany, did no one- Did you not kn- Did she not-"
At this, Holly started crying.
Mr. Schue helped Artie up into his chair, and both awkwardly made their way around Holly and Brittany, to the risers.
Brittany was on the verge of tears.
What was going on?
What was wrong?
What? How? Who...
Who was "she"?
As if reading her thoughts, Holly held out a note that had been crumpled in her right hand the entire time.
Brittany took it from Holly.
As she was reading, Holly calmed herself, and started explaining.
"I... I found this under the door of the class I was subbing. It had no name on the front, so I thought it wasn't importan-
I didn't read it until just now. I- I just want you to know that I already called her mother, and she had already found her in her roo-"
Brittany started to whimper.
"Brittany, don't worry. Her mom had already called the-".
The entire room was shocked into silence as Brittany's legs collapsed beneath her.
The cry of "" was heard around the world.
Whether or not one literally "heard" it...
4 billion people felt it.
Rachel, who had been sitting in the front row of the risers...
The crumpled note.
During the-
When Brittany fell, it had slid to the brunette's feet.
Never one to leave information unknown, Rachel quietly snatched the note up.
When she did so, the rest of the glee club (and Mr. Schue) quietly gathered around.
As they read, Holly rocked back and forth on the floor, Brittany holding onto her for dear life.
"Dear Ms. Holiday,
Is it ok if I call you Holly? Well, if I call-ed you Holly.
Anyways...
I told Brittany how I felt. Just like you said I should.
And, well, she kinda broke my heart. Just like I didn't think she would.
...
I thought she would say she loved me enough to put me before anyone else.
To be her first choice.
…
Who was I fucking kidding? Myself?
I guess.
SHIT Holly, when would ANYONE ever pick me first?
WHY would anyone pick me first?
...
I am obviously worth...
Well, I was gonna say 'I'm worth shit.', but I'm not even...
...
I am worth nothing Holly. Nothing.
And I've accepted that. I've accepted...
Ever since Brittany chose Stubbles McCripple Pants over me...
That no one will EVER love me. I've accepted I will NEVER come first.
Hell, I've even accepted that I'm capital G gay.
…
Hell...That's where where I might... where I WILL end up when I go through with this.
...
Tell Brittany that I really do love her. That it wasn't her fault.
It was my fault.
It was my fault for wanting her.
For falling in love with her.
...
Tell her that I hope her and Artie-
That they stay happy together.
Tell her that I hope she'll forget about me, and have a good life.
Tell her...
Well, say goodbye to her for me.
Please.
Bye Holly,
Santana M. Lopez"
A/N~ Song was "I Wanna Be The One" by Fun. .
p.s. How do I do double spaces instead of having to use lines/asterisks when editing the doc on ff? (I am using Open Office)
