-1 Chapter Two
Girl Talk and Realizations
The next few weeks went by uneventful. Nothing seemed to spike my curiosity. Not even reading, big shocker I know. It was a Friday evening and I was sitting on my bed listening to music and reading.
"How
many times do I have to say
To get away-get gone
Flip your
shit past another lasses
Humble dwelling
You got your game,
made your shot, and you got away
With a lot, but I'm not
turned-on
I could only sit there. Reading the same sentence over and over again. I had not spoken hardly one word to Malfoy. It had been almost five weeks now since our little "love session" It was so far from that. I still had not gotten over his words, or how ignorant he really was, at times I would remind myself I was also harsh but it was the truth. It made me even more angrier when he tried to prove me wrong, when he told me my words were fucking "senseless" fuck him he doesn't know how he is.
"So
put away that meat you're selling
Cuz I do know what's good for
me-
And I've done what I could for you
But you're not
benefiting, and yet I'm sitting
Singing again, sing, sing again
This is how it's been for the past weeks. All I've done is complain, cry, scream, yell, throw things around my room, and put myself down. And I hated myself for it.
"How
can I deal with this, if he won't get with this
M'I gonna heal
from this; he won't admit to it
Nothing to figure out; I gotta
get him out
It's time the truth was out that he don't give a
Shit about me
How many times can it escalate
Till it
elevates to a place I can't breathe?
"What
an idiot" I whispered, and with that I closed my book as I heard a
knock at my bedroom door. "Come in" I said dully. It was Ginny.
Just the person I really needed to speak to. "Hey Mione!" she
said cheerfully with a small smile spread on her face. "Hey Gins"
I said sweetly, yet I'm sure she could see right through it, she
was good at doing that especially with me. "Okay Mione what's the
matter? This past month you have been looking so gloomy, depressed
even. "What happened?" This was good I needed to tell someone.
"Ginny you know Malfoy right?" "Yes of course I know him what
about him?" I paused a bit "Ginny promise me you will not tell
anyone else especially not Harry and especially not Ron!" "Sure I
promise. Now what's up?" "Well you know how Malfoy and I have
gotten more civil with each other this past year right?" "Yes"
"Well… a few weeks ago he came to me during my walk outside. It
started to rain and I was heading back to the castle when he appeared
out of no where and then…" I paused and looked a Gin she gave me
a reassuring nod "He told me he loved me!" "He loved you? He
said he loved you!" she practically yelled. "Shh yes he did"
"Well! Well what did you tell him!?" "I didn't know how to
respond, I do not feel that way for him. He told me how he felt and I
listened. He said since third year he had feelings for me, confusing
feelings. He said he's tried to kill the feelings, he was ashamed
of them. After listening to his ranting about how I was confusing and
how he tried to ignore these feeling he told me that our growing bond
we had created over the past year was doing us good and how I had
caused him so much pain! That arrogant Jerk!" I practically yelled
that last few parts "Oh Hermione! How could he say he loves you and
then say all those things!? That prick! Well what did you say to
him!?" she said rather excitedly. "I told him everything I felt
towards him. I don't hate him not anymore but I told him how I
hated his selfish disdain towards others, and his disgusting behavior
towards me and me friends. And then he said my words were senseless!
He said shit about how I was the smartest witch of our age and how I
couldn't possibly see his love! He practically called me stupid! I
told him he did not love me, but he still tried to convince me. Then
that's when I snapped, told him how disgusting he made me feel at
times, how selfish and arrogant his feelings were, as much as I can
tell he has no feelings for me, nobody, how could he even know love!
Hah he cannot even speak of it without sounding disgusted and
ashamed. I told him was ashamed of any feeling for me, and he held no
feelings for me. I then told him I could not compel myself to ever
love a man like him" I said harshly. "and then he said "is this
what you think of me?" in a rather disappointed and angry way."
"O my god then what!?" "Then he left he just walked away I just
stood there in the rain soaked and confused and fuming mad".
"And
I must decide, if you must deride
That I'm much obliged to up and
go
I'll idealize, then realize that it's no
Sacrifice,
because the price is paid, and
There's nothing left to
grieve
Fuckin go-
Cuz I've done what I could for you, and I do
know what's
Good for me and I'm not benefiting, instead
I'm
sitting singing again, singing again, singing again,
Sing, sing,
sing again
"Hermione
I don't even know what to say!" "He was so confusing that I
couldn't bear to even think about him, and now I don't know what
to do, lately I've just tried to ignore his painful words but I
don't know I don't think we can pick back up on that bond we had.
It's done" I sighed "I nerve of that idiot. If I know anything
about words of love I can tell you that those definitely were not
any! I think Hermione that he is just confused, maybe he's just
losing his mind. To think a man loves a woman for almost five years
and then finally tells her in that kind of way! Horrible! Did he say
why he was ashamed?" "Yes he said because of my birth, my
unfortunate state of birth, my blood. He said people would shun him,
after all purebloods are not meant to fall in love with mud bloods"
"Ha! Typical Malfoy always hiding behind his blood and his pride
that his excuse for everything it seems!" Sighing again I looked
away from Ginny and out the window then she spoke "Hey Hermione
after what you told me he doesn't love you. Maybe he thinks he has
felt feelings for you since gosh third year! But he doesn't know
what he wants. He just doesn't know. Therefore I don't think it
would be safe to be near him for a while." "Maybe your Gin maybe
your right but I don't know I don't want to talk about it
anymore" "You Know graduation is coming up in only a few weeks!
How about we have a pre celebration tomorrow after Hogsmede? We can
go shopping or something in London!" "That sounds great Gins but
how would we get to muggel London and back?" "Hey they don't
give us apparition licenses for nothing now do they?" "Yes Gins
they sure don't!" I smiled this girls night out would definitely
do me some good. I Haven't been outside in weeks. "Right then
it's settled we go shopping tomorrow night I'll come by and pick
you up okay!?" "Great! See you then!" "Yup" and with that
she disappeared. Huh I think I need to get over this Malfoy thing,
she may be right he doesn't know what he feels for me. So I looked
to the clock. 11 p.m. Gee did we talk for that long? I finally
noticed the song was ending and with a swish of wand the lights went
out and fell into a deep much needed peaceful slumber.
"How
can I deal with this, if he won't get with this
M'I gonna heal
from this; he won't admit to it
Nothing to figure out; I gotta
get him out
It's time the truth was out that he don't give a
Shit about me"
………………………………...
So
okay there's chapter two. The song is "Get Gone" by Fiona
Apple. Throughout this story you may notice that various songs are
spread out around. Usually I choose songs for the characters that
depicts how their feeling at the time. So chapter 3 will probably be
up tonight or tomorrow. Ta Ta!
