couples: Dan/Blair , Chuck/Serena , some mentions of Nate/Jenny
summary: It was raining that night; the night everything changed and Dan became the knight in Serena's twisted game of chess.
author's note: It's got a nice reception and the storyline makes me want to cream my pants. Enjoy.
And, my God, what do we have here?
I've been trying hard and you've been dying hard for years now.
Well, I swear I did it all.
I'll always be my best flaw.
alice and interiors
manchester orchestra
There was a plan behind it. In Dan's absence, Serena admitted she'd become just like the old Blair; calculating and manipulative. "Ever since Nate left me, really," Serena'd confessed in a whisper, making Dan believe that perhaps she wasn't as unaffected by his leaving as she pretended to be. Yet he didn't question her; "I'm not paying you to interview me, Dan, I'm paying you to get what I want."
It was such a Blair-esque answer - and so far from the closeness they'd valued as teenagers - that Dan had almost smiled cruelly to himself. Despite how happy his life had turned out to be since turning over a new leaf, he would be the first to admit that he missed Serena. He'd missed their sincere, long talks in the night, when he could always be sure she wasn't lying to him. That was her flaw: brutal honesty. Now that she'd been flung back into his life unexpectedly, she'd change so much that Dan no longer knew who he was talking to.
Shaking off the thoughts with a brisk toss of his head, Dan again found himself in a cab outside of a marvelous hotel, though this time there were no rain clouds or lightning to announce his arrival. Instead, it was in the warm afternoon, the sun risen above the skyscraper. The taxi driver was a different man as well, with scruff on his chin and a baseball cap twisted to the side.
"You're fine's been paid already," the driver informed Dan before he could open his wallet. Dan blinked confusedly at the driver's reflection, but then allowed a grim smile adorn his lips. It must've been Serena. She was already starting to pay him for his efforts.
Dan nodded thankfully, replacing his wallet back into his jean pockets. He'd had only a few dollars left, anyhow; it was a relief not having to pay the fee. "I'll be going then." Dan forced a pleasant smile at the driver and stepped out onto the sidewalk. He gazed up at the floors of this hotel: The Empire. He'd heard much about it, yet he'd never been fortunate enough to step inside.
With a deep breath, Dan pushed past the revolving doors and into the lobby. He was surprised to see that the furnishings were much nicer than Serena's hotel, though he knew that it was Chuck's hotel, after all; his sense of style had not been forgotten even after the years of not laying eyes on him.
"Their penthouse is on the sixteenth floor. Remember what I told you." Serena's voice echoed in his mind, laced with the unmistakable tone of maliciousness and gloating. She'd known that she had Dan by his little puppet strings. He would do anything she told him as long as it would help he and Naomi.
Inwardly, Dan groaned at himself. The sum was sure to be a high amount, but Dan had no idea what would come of destroying Blair's marriage. That was even if he succeeded in the task; he still held his doubts that he could do anything to affect the union that Blair coveted so much, even if Chuck didn't stay faithful. After all, he was just lowly Dan Humphrey. Even after all these years of absence, they would never forget the Brooklyn stench that clung to his clothes.
And - what if he did succeed? What would happen to Blair? Dan felt no warmth towards the former Waldorf, but even he couldn't find the justice of destroying her life and letting it crumble to pieces for money.
But Dan's final worry was the worst of all: how could he go about completing his aptly-named "mission?" Of course, Serena had her ideas about that, but she'd been unwilling to share them with him. She'd simply smiled mysteriously and shoved him out into the hallway, handing him a note with her number. "I'll be in touch." With that, the door was slammed in his face and he was left to stare at the slip of paper.
Don't mess up, it read, along with several digits and an address to The Empire.
Dan sighed and eyed the lobby with interest. This was going to be his supposed home for the next... however long it took, and he might as well get familiar with his surroundings. Serena told him that the plan was surefire to work. Dan didn't voice his doubts, but they churned uneasily in his stomach.
The small slip of paper burned a hole in his pocket. Don't mess up.
With a last furtive glance around the lobby, Dan started towards the elevator, entering in with an elderly man waiting for the third floor. Impatience buzzed in Dan's feet as he tapped them against the hardwood flooring, scanning the buttons for the sixteenth floor and watching it flash incessantly as he pressed. The smallest motions were burning his shoes. He hated this, the indecision, the waiting. Dan would never know if it was worth it.
As the older gentleman exited the elevator, Dan was relieved to see that he was alone, and able to process his thoughts clearly. He hadn't been able to fully decide what he was going to say. Serena had told him the story to use: "Naomi kicked you out and no one else will take you in. Blair's a bitch, but she's not heartless." Yet he still hadn't prepared his speech.
Dan was still rearranging his thoughts when the elevator chimed unexpectedly and he had no choice but to wing it. The doors slid open slowly to reveal the two - Blair and Chuck both, dressed to go out - waiting for the elevator; shock rippled up his spine as Dan faced them. He hadn't thought it would happen this quickly.
It took a moment for them to register his appearance, but it was Blair who first spoke, her nose scrunched up snobbishly and her eyes wide. "Humphrey?" she asked incredulously, peering at him closely and wincing. "Yep, that's you. Still smell like Brooklyn." Suddenly, she seemed to realize the significance. "I almost didn't recognize you past that stubble. What are you doing here?"
Chuck said nothing, though a protective arm came to wrap around Blair's waist as he stared at Dan challengingly.
Dan's mouth went dry at their stares. Of course, he should have known it would never work. He was a fool for even accepting this task. Yet still, Dan moistened his lips slightly and managed a, "M-My wife kicked me out. And, ah, I went to Serena, but you know, she... she doesn't want much to do with me." He looked away, attempting to hide his tell-tale eyes, giving away the blatant lie. "And, I went to, um, my other friends... yeah, it didn't work, so I was thinking..." Everything was coming out in a stutter as Dan forced himself to meet their glares. "Look, I know there's almost no friendship between us, ah, but I was hoping... look, I need a place to stay."
Dan tried to hide the way a relieved gust of air pushed past his lips. He was thrilled that he even managed to force the words out. And, from their faces, they were merely shocked he'd even come to them.
It was Chuck that broke the tense silence. "Where the hell is your luggage?" He craned his neck to look past in case they were hiding in the elevator, but there was nothing. He met Dan's worried gaze critically.
Dan swallowed. "Naomi - that's my wife... or, ex-wife, or something - pushed me out with nothing." He tried to fake a smile, but it came out as a grimace. As a writer, Dan's forte was telling the ugly truth, not lying through his teeth, even if it was for a high amount of money. He hated to lie; it always scorched such a terrible trail in his throat.
Blair crossed her arms and darted her gaze questioningly to Chuck. It didn't surprise Dan that Blair wore the pants in the marriage, as was obvious by the way Chuck dipped his head to allow her to make the decision. Dan couldn't possibly see Blair being ordered around. It was part of what made him admire her in the first place, despite the immature way she handled her life: by destroying others.
Blair looked back at Dan, cocking her head to the side slowly. Finally, she straightened herself, released a resigned sigh, and gestured to the penthouse behind her. "I would say make yourself at home, but if you start coating the furniture with flannel, I will never forgive you."
Dan stood dumbstruck for a moment, unable to believe that the carefully-devised plan worked after all. It wasn't that he doubted Serena - or at least the new Serena he'd been forced to acquaintance himself with - but rather his own acting skills. And the lies, however easy to believe they could be, weren't delivered with confidence in the least.
Blair's eyes narrowed with annoyance. "If you aren't on our carpet within the next five seconds, this offer is off the table and you can go sleep on a park bench," she snapped. Dan hurried past her; he wasn't one to question Blair when she looked murderous. Obviously, she was skeptical about letting him stay there, but she wasn't going to turn him away. Serena had told him that Blair was like a mother hen; it had just taken him this long to believe her.
Chuck glanced at Blair. "Are we still going to go?"
Dan instantly felt remorse for ruining their night.
Blair sighed and shook her head, disappointed. "No. I don't trust Humphrey." Her words were given with a teasing smile flashed in Dan's direction. "And we need to get him some actual clothes. I don't like the whole hobo look on him. It doesn't work." She frowned, eyes traversing Dan's wardrobe with distaste.
Defensively, Dan muttered, "This is my good shirt." It wasn't entirely true, but the banter - rather than the yelling, screaming, hitting, etc. that he'd expected - was relieving. It surprised him enough to realize that Blair and Chuck were treating him with more warmth than Serena did. But, that was Serena these days, Dan reflected; he didn't dare ask Blair if she understood why Serena was being so cold lately. He was sure that would blow away the whole disguise.
Don't mess up. The note was still slipped in his pocket, with her number in case he needed to call. It was the only "personal" item Dan had brought other than his cell phone, which he used to call Naomi. He'd told his wife that he was away discussing business offers with an old friend of his, and he would call periodically, but wouldn't be back until further notice. Naomi had accepted his words as gospel, even told him that she loved him. Dan hated lying to her, but he found no other solution.
Blair watched Dan critically as he gazed around the room, feeling out of place. Dan met her stare as evenly as he could. He'd almost forgotten what a bitch she could be when she wanted to be; almost, that is. The majority of his teenage years were centered around Blair being a bitch.
"You can sleep on the sofa." Blair nodded towards the leather couch. "Chuck, go get him a blanket." The order was barked out decisively. Dan could suddenly see what Serena meant when she said that they were no longer happy in their marriage, and he winced inwardly.
Dan was left alone in the living room with Blair, uneasiness twisting his gut.
"Humphrey," Blair began slowly, as if reluctant to say what came to mind. That was unlike the Blair that Dan remembered; perhaps she'd changed, as well. "When you saw Serena... how was she? Was she different somehow?" The words came out hesitantly, as a tentative whisper. Dan realized that she hadn't wanted to say them with Chuck in the room.
Dan blinked steadily at Blair. "She looked good," he admitted, understanding that Blair hadn't seen her former best friend in a long while. "I guess, in some ways, she's still the same Serena. But..." He paused, wondering how much he should say. "She's a bit... colder now? I-I mean, she turned me away without even asking me how I was, you know? And... I don't know." There was some truth behind his statements. "I don't know," he repeated softly. "I missed her, but she just looked like she'd had it with me. But I wasn't there long enough to tell."
Blair's eyes were wide as she took in the information, then she nodded warily. "I'd thought so," she sighed, looking away. If Dan wasn't looking for it, he was sure he wouldn't have been able to notice that she was close to crying. Blair shook herself. "Well, what's done is done."
At that moment, Chuck entered the room, giving Blair an excuse not to talk.
"Here," Chuck grunted, handing Dan a blanket. "Do you prefer "Cabbage Patch" or "Dan" these days?" At least there was some warmth behind Chuck's tone; Dan hadn't expected much at all.
Dan took the blanket, managing to smile sincerely. "Dan, these days, actually. I know it's a shock." Not waiting for a reply, Dan added quickly, "Look, uh, I'm really tired... is it alright if I just sleep early?" From the blinds in the window view, Dan could see the sun was beginning to set.
Blair shrugged carelessly. "Go ahead. We won't bother you." With that, she took Chuck's hand and dragged him out of the living room. The door to their bedroom shut with a sharp click that rang through the living room.
Dan was left staring around the room, hands fisted in a blanket and lies still tasting bitter on his tongue.
