A/N - Since I've already written this chapter, I thought I might as well post this too.
I woke up with a start and looked around me. It was still dark. "Great," I muttered under my breath when I saw the time. 1:34, my phone said. That's what I get for going to sleep early. Underneath the time I saw I had three missed calls and one SMS. Emma they all said. First one was 21:22; second 22:45; third was 23:18.
The SMS read like this:
I'm sorry I'm sending this so late. Plz call me when u get the chance. Xx
SMS 23:31
She doesn't sound sorry at all. No, I needed to give her a chance to feel sorry for what she'd done. Call it an opportunity for redemption. That thought made me smile. And then despair.
"I'd better try and go back to sleep," I thought to myself. "I'll decide tomorrow when I'll go back to work."
10:45. Wow.
More missed calls from Emma. She knows I'm an early riser, so I'm not surprised to see the first one of the day was at 7 on the dot. That's strange; since reaching adulthood, she's always woken up at 8:00. We went to business school together. I know these things.
Did that mean she got very little sleep? Did she get any sleep? A fresh wave of despair came over me and a headache started to form at my temple. I didn't want to be the cause of her despair, but it was already too late for that. The memory of her crying after me was proof of that. My reaction to that was also proof of what a mistake I had made.
I cast my mind back to when I first realised that I was in love with her. It was probably the time when she did all she could to save Annie and Ryan's wedding. She knew they were both in love, and even though her methods were nefarious, she still knew she had to do something to save that wedding. Her interference in other people's affairs from then on mostly resulted in disastrous consequences, but she always meant well.
Which was why it was just so confusing why she humiliated Maddie the way she had. It just wasn't like her! She isn't cruel like that! But then when I thought about who she was influenced by, it wasn't surprising her actions reflected Frank Churchill's personality.
When I saw him in Emma's office, I didn't really have any opinion of him beyond that work meant more to him than his family. I mean come on! I'd never even consider missing John and Izzy's wedding! But the more I thought about his presence, the less I trusted him. It went downhill from there and that all culminated in the very incident that made me leave Emma.
My heart started aching again at the thought that he held Emma's heart in his hands. He would bring out the worst in Emma's personality, and I wasn't blind to her faults. But if she really wanted to be with him, I'd have to learn to live with that. If I wanted to go back to work with her, I had to get over her. Speaking of which, I had to figure out when to go back. Not yet. Emma's actions would dictate that.
I looked at my phone to see the time again and just caught it before my phone died. It was gone 1 pm.
I wondered what Emma was doing at that time. An image of her in sweatpants and a pullover, eating ice cream and listening to morose music came into my head. I laughed it off though; that behaviour was not Emma Approved.
I hid inside my duvet and closed my eyes. Maybe more sleep would make this headache go away. The last thing I remembered before falling asleep again was that there was no use trying to get over Emma. I'd been in love with her too long for me to be able to do so successfully.
