The Avengers piled out of the car. Thor had a wide grin on his face. "I love cars," he said happily.
Natasha shot him a look. "We need a bigger car, guys," she said. "It's only a four seat car in the first place, and now we're shoving muscular men inside."
"Where are we going to get that?" Steve asked.
Tony gave a nod. "I can get it."
Thor stared ahead at the building they had just pulled up too. "What is this place?" he asked.
"This is McDonald's," Tony responded.
"What's McDonald's?" Steve asked.
"It's a fast food place," Bruce explained. "You go in, order your food, they give it to you, and then you sit down and eat."
"We have to keep in shape," Natasha murmured. "Why are we at the heart of America?"
"Once isn't going to hurt," Clint responded.
Natasha rolled her eyes. "Okay, whatever."
They headed past the drive-through, where someone was currently ordering. Steve jumped, falling back and hitting Tony.
"Ouch, Steve. Calm down."
"But that box just talked!" His eyes were wide and a tad bit scared.
"A worker is talking on a microphone that is connected to that box."
"Oh." Steve stared at the box for a few moments before continuing on inside.
As the door opened, Thor took a deep breath. "What is that smell?"
"Grease," Natasha mumbled.
"I would like to try some food," he continued.
"That's why we're here," Tony said. "Choose whatever. I'm a billionaire."
Steve tugged on Tony's jacket. "What, Steve?" he sighed, rolling his eyes.
"What are these different types of foods? I don't like ordering when I'm not exactly certain what they are."
"I don't want to explain everything to you!" Tony replied.
"Relax, I will," Bruce said. He pulled Steve to the side and started explaining the menu.
"Why does that old timer keep choosing me?" Tony grumbled to Natasha.
Natasha shrugged. "Because you're the most successful and up-to-beat person out of any of us?"
"And you're not shy like Bruce," Clint added.
Tony rolled his eyes again. "Whatever."
Thor wondered over to the Netflix machine and tapped the screen. It switched to the movies screen. His mouth dropped open as he started hitting random buttons. He snickered. "This machine is very amusing," he said, hitting more things more rapidly.
"Um, Thor? I'd be careful with that," Clint said.
Thor waved a hand at Clint. "I'll be okay, man with the eye of a Midgardian bird."
Clint stepped towards Thor. "No, seriously. This thing gives you movies at a dollar a piece. We don't want to accidently get anything, now, do we?"
Thor's face furrowed in confusion. "Movies…." He thought for a few moments. "Oh!" His face lightened up. "You mean those things that Midgardians watch that have images that move and talk!"
"Yes," Clint said, trying to talk in the same happy town. "Now, how about we go order our food?"
"Agreed," Thor said. He pushed in head of the line. "I would like to eat—"
"Thor," Clint muttered, pulling on Thor's arm.
Thor took a step back. "Have I done something wrong?"
"Remember what we told you about lines?"
"Of course. Midgardians have to stand and wait for their turn. What about these line rules?"
"We're in a line." Clint waved a hand to the line. "We have to wait."
Thor overlooked the line. "Humans make terrible lines."
"We're up next," Clint continued, ignoring Thor. "How about we wait for the nice lady to order?"
"Fine, then." He stood next to Natasha.
Steve came back over with Bruce. "Bruce has explained everything to me! I would like to try these cattle sandwiches. I forgot about them."
"They're called hamburgers," Bruce said.
Steve glanced over at Bruce. "But they're made out of cows, aren't they? Shouldn't it be beef burgers? Ham is pigs."
Bruce shook his head. "It's their logic, not mine."
Steve nodded slightly, confusion spread out on his face.
The line moved as the woman left to go to her seat. Tony turned around to face the group. "What do you guys want?"
Thor stepped up. "I would like to order first," he told Tony. He turned to the cashier, towering over her tiny frame. "I would like a… a… haamburger, a cheese variation of one as well, the nuggets that are called chicken, the fries that belong to French, and a large Coke." He smiled. "I like Coke."
The cashier gave a weak attempt at a smile. "Eh heh."
Tony gently pushed Thor away. "I'll be ordering now," he told Thor. Thor backed away.
After Tony ordered another cheeseburger, Clint and Bruce ordered a fish fillet, and Natasha ordered a salad, it was Steve's turn. He came up to the counter and looked away shyly.
"Why aren't you ordering, Capsicle?" Tony asked.
Steve glared at Tony before turning back to the cashier. "I would like a cattle san—hamburger with these… French fries. Oh, and a small Coke as well."
"Sure thing." The cashier smiled at Steve before rereading their orders.
"That should be it," Tony said after everyone nodded when their order was read.
The cashier read the price. Tony handed her the money before she went back to get their orders.
They stood their silently, Thor with his hands locked and standing on his tiptoes. "You know," Steve started, "how come nobody recognizes any of us?"
"What do you mean?" Natasha asked, brushing something off her arm.
"Well, we're the Avengers, first of all. You two are secret agents, so that makes more sense if they don't know you," he said, gesturing to Natasha and Clint. "I may not be that well noticed either, because I was more of a thing seventy years ago. But Tony is Tony Stark. And Thor… well, look what he's wearing."
"Is there something wrong with the way I dress?" Thor's smile faded as he held his arms out.
"No, no, not at all. It's just that people usually don't wear stuff like that."
"Or those tights you wear," Tony sneered.
He glared at Tony. "You know what, Stark—"
"Our food!" Thor exclaimed, grabbing it. Steve's and Tony's attention were grabbed by Thor's shriek. As they went to sit down, the long line behind them cheered.
"Why are they cheering?" Thor asked.
"They're hungry," Bruce said simply, going to the soda fountain. Thor's eyes grew wide as he saw someone filling up their cup.
"What is this?" Thor said.
"It's a soda fountain. You put your cup under this and push on the lever, and soda comes into your cup."
"I must try this contraption!" Thor said. He pushed his hand against it. Soda dripped out on to his hand. Thor laughed heartily.
Steve watched from a distance before coming over. "I want to try it!" he said, grabbing his cup and shoving it under. He laughed as soda poured into his cup. "This is hilarious!" he laughed.
Thor grabbed a straw and opened it up. "Watch this!" He put the straw underneath the stream of soda. Steve and Thor started cracking up.
"Are you even allowed to do this?" Steve said, his eyes filled with amusement.
"No." Bruce sent a stern glare towards Thor. Thor's large smile turned into a smug grin. When Bruce left the soda fountain, Thor and Steve burst into a fit of giggles and pushed the lever again.
"GUYS!" They immediately stopped as they heard Bruce's frustrated voice.
"I have to admit that he is even scarier then me when he is angry," Thor said.
Steve nodded his head. "Tell me about it."
Everyone took their seats in a booth. They unwrapped their food and started eating. Thor took a huge bite out of a hamburger. "Mmm," he said. "This is very good Midgardian food!" He dived into the rest of his food.
Natasha looked at him a bit disgustedly as she took little bits of her salad.
They sat in silence. Steve cautiously took a bite of the hamburger.
"How do you like it, old man?"
Steve looked up at him, unamused. "I like it very much," he said. "A lot better than I like you," he added on softly.
"Excuse me, everybody likes Tony Stark."
"If everybody's name is Tony Stark, then yes."
Tony opened his mouth to say something when Bruce snapped, "Guys. Can I please just eat without any headaches?"
The two slumped back into their seats.
"Maybe we should move them away from each other," Clint suggested.
As Steve settled into Bruce's seat, Tony looked over and stuck out his tongue. "Clint! Clint! He's making faces at me!"
"No I'm not!" Tony said defiantly.
"That's it, guys!" Natasha exclaimed. "You act like toddlers sometimes! Tony, stop being an ass for once! Steve, stop acting like you're a saint! I think Bruce is looking a little green."
They all looked over at Bruce, who was silently nibbling on his sandwich.
An awkward silence took over the group as they ate. "Why are these called French fries?" Steve wondered out loud after a few minutes. "We live in America. Why are we calling our food after France?"
"For the same reason we have restaurants for foreign food and why we get all we own from China," Tony answered briskly.
Steve glared at him for a few seconds before throwing a French fry at him.
Tony waved his arms out as the fry hit him, throwing an exasperated look at Natasha. She glanced up and saw him, causing her to groan. "Am I your guys' mother?" she yelled. "Steve, just—don't. I can see you smiling."
Steve, who was looking down at his lap, attempted to stop smirking.
"Yeah, Steve, don't," Tony chimed.
Natasha glared at Tony. "Tony, I swear, one day—"
"What is that?" Thor interrupted, pointing at a window. Everybody looked at it to see a play place inside.
"It's for kids to play in," Clint said.
"Fascinating," Thor said. "Kids get to play and eat?"
"Yep. Welcome to America," Tony said.
Thor stared at it a little while longer before turning around. The group stayed silent as everyone finished their meals. (Actually, Thor was long done; he had been sitting around for the past 20 minutes, staring at the ceiling and the walls and laughing at Tony and Steve's bickering.)
After everyone had gotten up and threw their trash away, Clint looked around as if he had lost something. "Has anyone seen Thor?" he asked nervously.
Everyone froze. "How the hell do you loose a Norse god?" Tony exclaimed.
"Hey, you lost him too," Steve said.
Before Tony could say anything, Natasha interrupted. "Look, stop acting like an old married couple and help us find Thor! I mean, he's a big man with a large hammer. Shouldn't be hard to find, right?"
A little boy ran out of the play place. "Mommy!" he cried, running past the group to his table. "There's a strange man in the slide! He has a cape on and he looks like a knight!"
The group all sent glances at each other. "Well, we found Thor," Bruce said.
Steve started lightly bouncing on his feet. "I'll go get him," he offered.
"We could just ask—" Natasha started before being interrupted by Steve.
"No, no, I'll go get him." He took off rather quickly into the play place room. As he entered the tubes, a couple of adults sent him quizzical expressions.
"I have to get someone out," he explained, giving an awkward smiling. He entered the play place, climbing up through the tunnels. His arms were cramped closely. "The down side to having strong arms," he murmured to himself. He entered a wider area, where a couple of kids were lying on their backs, laughing. They stopped as they saw him. They stared at each other for a few seconds. "Have you seen a big man inside a slide anywhere?"
The kids didn't say anything. Instead, they just pointed at a green opening.
"Thanks," he told them. He crawled through another opening to get to the green one. There Thor was, lying in the middle of the slide, waiting patiently.
"You're not freaking out yet?" Steve asked.
Thor craned his neck as far as possible. "Hello, man in the stripes!"
"Hello, Thor. I'm surprised you haven't blown this slide into smithereens."
"I decided that one of you guys would find me. And that you did!"
"Yes, I did. Now, I'm going to get you out now."
"Okay," Thor said cheerfully.
Steve sat there awkwardly. How was he supposed to get Thor out of the slide? Run and jump? Just push? Shrugging, he sent himself down the slide, which were even narrower than the tunnels but large enough for Steve to get through. His feet collided with Thor's shoulders, pushing Thor down a tad bit. Steve climbed up a couple of feet and dropped himself again, hitting Thor's shoulders once more. He repeated the process until Thor was completely free, sending both of them barreling down the slide, bumping into one another until the got to the very bottom. Steve was lying on top of Thor, whose legs were dangling off the side of the slide.
Thor laughed. "That was fun!"
Steve glanced up and buried his head in his hands when he saw Tony holding up his phone. Laughing, Tony said, "Guess what's going to Nick Fury?"
"I hate you," Steve muttered.
"Patriotic man, I think the children want to get though," Thor said as kids started piling up against them.
Steve slid off of Thor, still hiding his face from Tony, who was now interrogating Steve now. Thor waved to the kids and left with the rest of the group, who weren't sure how to assess the situation now. "You're not going to go back into one of those, are you?" Bruce asked Thor.
Thor shook his head. "But I will come back to this place owned by McDonald. I love Midgard!" he sighed as they exited through the door.
Steve punched Tony's jaw, causing him to dash to the car and a weak attempt to lock Tony out.
"Don't you just love our outings?" Clint said.
Natasha groaned.
