My father was the first one in the room. I ran to him, wrapping my arms around his waist with urgency. He was trying not to cry. I could tell by the way he didn't say anything for a few moments, working on fighting back the tears. When he pulled me away from him, he kept his arms tightly on my shoulders.
"Madge, you need to listen to me." He said forcefully. "I'm not going down without a fight. And neither are you. I'm going to... I'm going to get you out of there."
I shook my head, not understanding. "I don't... I don't know what you mean, dad."
He looked behind him to make sure the door was shut. Then he said in a hushed whisper, "I will come up with something. A plan of some kind and work with Haymitch to save you... to save the boy tribute too. To save as many kids as possible."
"That's impossible. You have no power in the games!" I whispered back.
"I'm not promising anything but I swear to you, I will do my best. And you know I will fight like hell for you."
I was crying now. Because he was being ridiculous. Because if he tried anything, he would get himself killed. He had to know that. Had to know any futile attempts at saving me would be useless. Nobody could go up against the capitol. Nobody. "Dad, don't." I whispered through my tears.
He kissed my cheek and I watched as a tear slid down his own. "I love you, Madge. I love you so much. I'll see you soon."
Then the guards were pulling him away from me. And I wanted more time. More time with my father. More time to convince him that he could not save me, no matter what he did.
I didn't have a visitor for a long time. I didn't really expect anymore, actually. I kept to myself at school. Ate lunch alone, did my homework alone. It wasn't a horrible life. I just never connected with anyone enough to consider them a friend really.
The doors opened and there was my mother in a wheelchair, being wheeled in by a guard. She had made it. I threw my arms around her neck and fought back the hot tears that were playing on the edges of my eye lids. When I pulled back she held my hand tightly and smiled at me weakly. She was so, so sick.
"Madge, honey." She said in a soft, gentle voice.
"I'm scared." I said back quickly.
She nodded. "I know. But you're strong. And smart. And brave."
I shook my head and a tear fell from my eye. I wiped it away quickly. "I am not brave."
"Yes, you are." She said sternly. Then she pulled something out of her pocket. "Here, baby. Wear this. It will make you brave."
I examined the Mockingjay pin and took it from her hands. I pinned it onto my dress and then turned back to my mother. She smiled and said, "Looks beautiful on you. It was your aunts."
My Aunt. She had died in the games herself. And now I would die too. My eyes locked on hers and all I could manage to say without breaking down into sobs was, "Thank you."
She touched my cheek gently and told me that she loved me. I couldn't even say it back, because I knew I would certainly cry. Instead I nodded my head and let her kiss my hand. The doors opened again and they wheeled her out, leaving me completely alone. I slid against the wall and bit my lip to stop the tears. I couldn't break down at a time like this. I had to be strong. I had to be okay. I had to be the brave girl my parents thought I was. When I composed myself, I stepped out of the room and a guard led me onto a carriage that would take me to the train. Gale was already on the carriage and when I sat next to him, he looked over at me.
I licked my lips and tried to manage a reassuring smile. He narrowed his eyes at me and dropped his gaze quickly.
I tried a different approach. "Have you met our mentor yet? Haymitch?"
He didn't even look at me. Just completely ignored me.
"Hello?" I asked, getting annoyed.
Again, he ignored me and kept his eyes fixed on the floor of the carriage. I sighed loudly.
"We don't need to pretend." He snarked.
"Pretend?" I asked.
"Pretend to be friends. We're not, Madge. We're not friends. And in less than two weeks, we will probably both be dead. So we don't need to make small talk or any talk at all."
I only stared at him in response, not letting his words hurt me. Here I was, face to face with the boy who I had gone out of my way to help, and he was being rude, like always. He would never change. I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Okay, Gale. If that's what you want."
He looked surprised by the way I had handled his words. Something crossed over his expression, something unreadable. Then it faded away and he coughed. "Good." Was all he said.
We didn't say a word the rest of the way to the train.
I didn't talk to Peeta on the way to the carriage. I was so mad at him. So completely and utterly furious. What the hell was he thinking? Volunteering for that boy? He was an idiot. A complete and utter idiot.
"Katniss, please say something." Peeta said gently when we both stepped on board our ride.
I crossed my arms over my chest and kept my eyes forward, glaring. I heard him let out a loud sigh and he turned away from me, looking out his side of the carriage. I let the silence overtake us for a long time before I said, "What about Prim? Who is going to protect her?"
"My father just promised me he would, Katniss. In the Justice building. And you know my brothers will too. Plus, she knows how to fish. You taught her."
I turned to face him, my eyes still narrowed. "You shouldn't have done it."
"Well, I did. And it's too late to change that now. So you can keep being mad or you can just be my best friend. Because that's what we both need right now. Our best friend."
I sighed. He was right. I did need my best friend right now. And if I was going to keep him alive, It would help to not hate his guts so much. So, slowly I let my hand slide closer to his and he caught it, interlacing his fingers through my own. And this is how we would go into the train, hand in hand. And this is how we go into the games, I decided. Hand in hand, together. A team. Because the capitol could take away my life, they could rip away my family and my little sister from me but I swore in that moment, they would not take Peeta away from me. No matter what. He was apart of me. He was mine. He was everything.
Dinner was served almost immediately once we arrived on the train. Rich and heavy foods lined the table. Varieties of fruits spilled from buckets and hot soups steamed the air. Fresh, warm rolls topped with butter sat to my right. A huge, fried chicken sat to my left. Cheese covered noodles sat in a huge bowl across the table. Being from the town, Peeta and I had been able to enjoy some of these delicacies back in district 4 but not this much food. Never this much food.
I didn't know where to start. Just as I dug my mouth into a buttered roll, Finnick Odair came waltzing into the room, beaming at me.
"Well hello there, Katniss Everdeen." He said playfully taking the seat across from me. "And hey, Peeta Mellark." He added quickly.
Just then, a white haired lady walked into the room slowly, using a cane to help her. Mags. She was also a past victor and our mentor for the games.
"Mags, so happy to have you join us at our feast!" Finnick exclaimed, holding out his hands and motioning to the food in front of him.
She mumbled something inaudible and sat down next to Finnick. She gave Peeta and I a warm smile and I couldn't help but smile back.
Peeta broke off a piece of his roll before he tossed it into his mouth. "So, are you going to give us advice?" He asked, directing his question at Finnick.
Finnick thought this over for a long moment before he said, "Sure, why not?" He motioned with his finger for us to lean in closer. I looked over at Peeta hesitantly but he shrugged his shoulders so I leaned in, despite my better judgment. When Peeta and I were a few inches from Finnick's face, he spoke again. "Don't win." He said in a low whisper.
"Don't win?" Peeta repeated his words with puzzlement.
Finnick nodded and said in a low growl, "Winning's not all it's cracked up to be."
"Yeah, well. We won't accept death. So, give us some real advice." I snapped before crossing my arms over my chest. I narrowed my eyes at him.
Finnick cocked his head to the side in confusion. "We won't accept death? Hate to break it to you, beautiful, but there can only be one winner."
"Don't call me that." I retorted.
Mags only stared at us, listening to our conversation with wide and curious eyes, like a small child.
Peeta rubbed his temple. "Okay, just... give us something to work with, Finnick."
Finnick clapped his hands together once and then placed them in his lap. "Stay away from the careers." He said, his eyes and expression wearing an intense look.
"Shouldn't we kill them?" Peeta asked.
"Eventually but stay away from them for as long as possible. They will be your hardest kill."
I sighed. I wasn't satisfied with this piece of advice. "That's not even real advice. Everyone knows the careers are the hardest to kill."
Finnick only stared at me with scrunched up eyes. He glanced at Peeta and then back to me. He waved a finger between us. "Are you two a couple?" He asked, ignoring my statement completely.
Peeta went to respond but I beat him to it. "No, Peeta's just an idiot and I'm the idiots friend."
"I thought we were okay now." Peeta said quietly.
I turned to him, my expression sad and torn. "We are but you're still an idiot."
Peeta rolled his eyes and said to Finnick, "She's just mad because I volunteered to protect her, which isn't really a reason to be mad."
"I can protect myself!" I yelled. "And now you're going to get yourself killed." I practically cried.
"Yeah, for you." He said simply, gently, kindly. "And I won't apologize for wanting to keep you safe. I'd volunteer again in a heartbeat. A thousand times over again."
Finnick sighed dramatically and said, "Yeah, yeah we get it, Peeta. You're noble and awesome and you want to save her life. My only question is, are you even going to fight?"
"For her life, yes. And that means I have to preserve mine as long as possible to do so."
"Okay, then. Well-" Finnick began.
I groaned and interrupted them. "Oh, don't encourage him, Finnick." This was entirely ridiculous. Finnick and Peeta discussing the plan to keep me alive the longest. As if I would let Peeta die for me. As if that would make me happy. As if I could return home and move on and live my life knowing that he died for me. Me!
Prim had begged me to try and come home. She had even asked me to promise her that I would. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't promise her I'd come home because that would be a lie. I wasn't coming home. I would fight like hell for Peeta but when the time came, I would die. What would be the difference if I was the victor? If I watched my best friend die before my eyes and then came back to District 4? I wouldn't really be home.
Because it wouldn't be home without Peeta.
Because I needed Peeta Mellark in my life. I needed him to provide me with balance, to shed light on dark situations, to bring warmth to the cold and laughter to the sadness. I needed him to help me fish and have long walks with on the beach at night. I needed him in every aspect of who I was. But Peeta would be fine without me, with time. He would survive and move on, marry a pretty girl and continue to live in District 4. He would be content without me but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I wouldn't never be okay without him. I would lose myself in the darkness, swallowed whole by its depth.
When I met Haymitch, he nearly puked on my shoes. He was that drunk. He then fell down, passing out in his own vomit. Gale and I stared at our wonderful mentor wondering what to do. Gale told me to grab an arm to help lift him up but I was too weak and a guard had to come and help instead. I didn't miss Gale's eye roll when I couldn't lift him, however.
Dinner was awkward and quiet. Gale stuffed his face like he would never eat again. My stomach wouldn't settle enough for me to eat much of anything. The only attempts at conversation were made my Effie but she quickly noticed that nobody else was in a chatty mood and shut up as well.
Later, as I laid in my bed in my room of the train, sleep alluded me. And as much of a pain Gale was being, my mind wandered to that day four years ago. With a sigh, I closed my eyes and got lost in the memory.
It was early in the morning when it happened. Right before school, actually. My hair was tied up in a red ribbon and I wore a brand new white dress. My also red shoes sparkled in the morning sunlight. I was walking to school when I heard muffled voices over by the district fence. Curious, I crept along some trees until the people were in my line of sight.
It was a Peace Keeper and a young boy. He was 14 at the time, his dark hair falling in front of his gray eyes. I had recognized him but I didn't know his name.
"What were you doing over the fence, boy? You know that's illegal." The man snapped.
I was smart enough, even at 12, to know that Gale had been hunting in the woods. A few people did it in the district to feed their families. Even my own father bought from these people time to time. Luckily for Gale, he didn't have any of his kills with him or the whole scenario could've been even worse.
Gale narrowed his eyes at the Peace Keeper. "It doesn't matter what I tell you. You're just going to arrest me anyway."
The Peace Keeper struck Gale in his lower back with the bottom of his gun. Hard. Gale groaned and fell to the ground in pain. The man then struck Gale again in the face and Gale's nose started bleeding profusely. As I watched, panic began to set in. How could I save this boy? How could I stop the man from hurting him? As I studied the mans face, I could tell he was the new Peace Keeper. Had just arrived a few days ago. My parents had had him over for dinner the previous night. I remembered disliking the man, the way he talked and carried himself, but he had absolutely adored me.
"Just arrest me already!" Gale screamed, spitting blood.
"Why don't you stop talking back to me, huh?" The man struck Gale again, even more forcefully, in the stomach. The wind was knocked out of him and he laid there, bloody and breathless. "What's your name, boy?"
"Gale." He said through gritted teeth. I hadn't known his name until that moment, but I remember thinking it suited him, somehow. I had seen him around school but he was two years older than me so we didn't have any classes together. And when my father bought game from him, he never stuck around long enough for me to talk to him. Plus, he was from the seam and the seam and town children kept their distance from each other for the most part. Just as the Peace Keeper went to struck Gale again, an idea finally popped into my head.
"Gale!" I yelled, rushing over to his side. He looked up at me, blood and tears streaming down his face. "Did you find my necklace?" I asked him sincerely.
And right on cue, the Peace Keeper asked me, "What necklace?"
I held my hand to my neck, touching it gently. "I had this beautiful necklace my father got me and last night, Gale and I were walking around the district and I lost it. He was only helping me find it. We thought it might have slipped through a hole in the fence when we walked by here last night. That's why he was out of the district, sir." I gave him a genuine smile.
The Peace Keeper shifted his eyes from me to Gale and then back to me. He was trying to figure out if I was telling the truth or not. He looked back down to Gale and barked, "This true, boy?"
Gale met my eyes again for a brief second before he nodded. "Yeah, it's true. I was only helping her find her necklace."
"My father will sure be upset when he sees you've punished my friend Gale for only helping me find an expensive and important necklace that I lost, sir." I said to the man. I know I was pushing my limits but I had to save Gale.
The man opened his mouth to say something to me but then shut it quickly. I was the mayor's daughter, after all. In his mind, I could get him kicked out of the district, get him fired from his job. In actuality, my father didn't hold that much power but this disgusting man didn't need to know that.
He cursed under his breath and said, "Fine. I'll leave you with a warning. Don't let me catch you past this fence ever again or you will be whipped." He said, practically spitting the words.
He walked away then, the dust from the ground rising into the air with every step he pounded out. I crouched down to where Gale was laying and gently touched his chin, lifting up his face so I could examine it. It was covered it so much blood and sweat and dirt and tears that I couldn't even see the wound.
His back and stomach were badly bruised too. I tried to get him to stand up but once I got him on his feet, he bent over and puked up blood. He collapsed to the ground again and I let myself feel fear for a few seconds. Because nobody was around and I needed to save his life. And I was only 12 years old. And I had no idea what I was doing.
Gale began to close his eyes and I yelled at him. "No! Stay awake...please." I pleaded with him, my hand touching the bottom of his chin again gently.
"You're the mayor's daughter, aren't you?" He asked in a low whisper, his voice barely even audible.
I smiled at him. "Yes. I'm Madge."
He coughed and then winced in pain, a hand pressed firmly to his stomach. I knew he was in horrible shape and I had to get him help but I just didn't know how. I thought of the town doctor and figured out it was less than half a mile from where we were. Maybe I could carry him? He was smaller back then. He had muscle but not very much. It was a bad year for a lot of families so he was on the skinnier side, clearly not getting enough to eat. Even still, when I tried to scoop him into my arms, they failed me and I nearly dropped him back on the ground and he cursed in pain.
"Sorry! I'm sorry! I don't know what to do..." I was beginning to really panic. He was in no condition to walk and if I couldn't carry him, what did that leave? I glanced around searching for something, anything to help me. About ten feet away I spotted a wheelbarrow left out by someone. I could put him inside of the barrow and then push him to the doctor. I ran over and grabbed it and sprinted back. Gale glanced at the thing nervously.
"You're not serious." He said angrily.
"Yeah, I am. I'm going to try to lift you enough to put you inside."
Gale scoffed at me and said, "You're completely insane."
"And you're probably bleeding internally so please, let me get you to the doctor before you die." I pleaded with him.
He sighed and slowly nodded his head. Using what little energy he had, Gale climbed into the wheelbarrow with the assistance of my shoulder and arm. When he was safely inside, I glanced down at my white dress to find it completely covered in dirt and blood. I didn't care, of course. But it would be hard to explain to my father.
By the time we reached the doctors, Gale was drifting in and out of consciousness and he was turning a sickly green color. I called for help and the doctor came out and lifted Gale inside with his strong arms. I followed them and he sat Gale down on a table, calling to his wife to get some medicine. I rushed to Gale's side and his eyes found mine.
"You can go now." He said weakly.
I shook my head. "No, I don't want to. I want to stay and make sure you're safe."
"I'm fine. Go." He said quietly but he was getting irritated with me.
The doctor looked at me and said gently, "He's right. You need to go, sweetheart. We've got it from here."
"Will he be okay?" I asked quickly.
He nodded. "I'm sure he will be alright. You need to go though, please."
With one last look to Gale, who had his eyes shut tight and was groaning in pain, I bit my lip and scurried out of there. I wheeled back the wheelbarrow to its rightful owner and ran home to change into new clothes. I stuffed my bloody dress under my bed.
I didn't seem him again for a week. I was worried sick the entire time too. I went to the doctors but they told me he didn't want any visitors. I thought this was entirely unfair, being that I was the one who saved him and all. But I respected his wishes. And when I spotted him walking on the edges of town a week later, I called his name. His head turned slowly in my direction and when I waved at him, he dropped his eyes to the ground and walked away.
I didn't understand. Why wouldn't he talk to me? I saved him! If I hadn't been there... if I hadn't made up that story about the necklace, he would probably be dead. And he couldn't even acknowledge my existence. I decided right then and there that Gale Hawthorne was a jerk. A complete and total world class jerk.
Ever since that day, any interaction he had with me had been filled with bitterness and angry words, silent accusations that I couldn't defend, judgments that I didn't know how to deflect.
As I pulled myself out of the memory, I found myself back in the dark room of my train cart. Alone and scared and the impacts of the day finally hitting me, I finally allowed myself to cry. I covered my face as the sobs wracked my body, one after another after another after another. I was crying so loud, I was afraid someone would think I was possibly being murdered and would come to see what was wrong. My sobs slowly turned into whimpers and finally, I had cried myself out. With my throat raw and my cheeks sticky, I promised myself that I wouldn't break down again. Not even while alone. I absolutely and positively had to be brave. I gripped the Mockingjay pin that was still safely secured onto my dress. "It will make you brave", my mother had said. Good. I was going to need every ounce of courage I could possibly muster.
A/N: This was WAY longer than the first chapter and they will probably always be this long because I need to fit in A LOT Of info. in every chapter! If you haven't noticed yet, when we switch POV's, the story takes place where the last one left off. For example, we didn't read about Katniss's hour in the justice building but instead, her time on the carriage because that's where we left off with Madge and Gale. I hope that makes sense. Don't worry though, nothing important will be left out and although some aspects of the ACTUAL hunger games we all know and love will be kept in, I'm going to change A LOT Of things up so just sit back and enjoy the ride! And thanks for all your amazing reviews and PLEASE PLEASE review again and let me know what you think!
