Chapter One:

This is how I feel

Part One

One month since Tommy left (4 full weeks)

To: Jude Harrison

From: Tom Quincy

Subject: Working on it

Dear Jude,

I don't know if this email is going to relieve in any way the sheer agony of being away from you, but I would like you to know that I'm missing you like crazy!

Right now I am sitting by a small pond and have been trying to make sense of my life so far. I'm trying to forget about what everyone else thinks I should do. The biggest obstacle is trying to un-mold myself from other people's expectations; it's hard trying not to disappoint the people close to me, especially you. As long as I continue to exist to fulfill other people's ideas of who I should be, I'll never know who I want to be in the end. I'll come home to you soon. I'm sorry this is so short but I had to tell you that I miss you. I love you.

Love always,

T.Q.

Jude walked into NBR studios. It had been a month since Tommy had left and Jude had been trying to stay busy to keep from going crazy from his absence. Jude walked straight to her office and put her bag on the top of her desk and sat down heavily in her chair. She looked at who she had scheduled in the studio that day and sighed in frustration. She was producing Astrophel, a hard rock band that she had found at a battle of the bands at The Chain three weeks before. The lead singer, Miles, had been repeatedly asking her out on dates, to which she had refused constantly. Not that she thought he was desperate in any way, because he was pretty hot, he could've had anyone, considering Jude kept hearing the female co-workers talk about how hot he is constantly. She had her mind on one man and one man only.

A knock on the door interrupted Jude's thoughts. She looked up from her schedule and saw the man that had been trying to capture her interest. Miles stood in her doorway leaning on the frame. He had a huge case of bed head going on, which looked really good on him at the moment. He squinted his light blue eyes and smirked at her. Dressed in faded jeans and a Metallica t-shirt, Miles looked pretty inviting, especially with his scruffy 5 o'clock shadow.
"I know that look on your face. You're probably dreading another long afternoon in the studio with me. Right?" he stated, taking a few steps into the room and sitting in the chair in front of her desk. Jude looked at him with an amused smile.

"You got me. How did you know that I dread spending endless hours with you?" she asked coyly.

"I guess I just know you too well."

"Yeah. Sure. We've only known each other for three weeks. How well do you know me?" She asked, sitting up straight and folding her arms across herself.

"Well, why do you think I keep asking you out? I want to get to know you better. And you won't let me. So I think I know you well enough to know that you try and avoid me. The thing is; I don't understand why. From what I hear, you don't have a boyfriend. You live with your father and sister. You had a fling awhile back with a washed up boybander who was your former producer. And I know he hurt you a lot. Is that why you won't go out on a date with me? You think I'm going to hurt you?"

At this point Jude was quite irritated. How did he know about Tommy? Kwest and Sadie aren't home yet. Jamie? Jamie wouldn't tell him would he? Jude pushed away from the desk and stood up. She walked around the desk and stood next to Miles, who in turn stood up from his chair and faced her. The scowl on her face made it known that she was livid.

"That is none of your business. What happened between me and my old producer is none of your concern. I'm going to go talk to Jamie, and I will meet you in Studio 2 in fifteen minutes. Make sure Shawn and Jake are on time this time." Jude replied and walked out of the room.

Miles just stood there, astonished. He knew that she would be mad when she knew that he knew about that certain boybander. But he was trying his hardest to get close to her. He walked over behind the desk and stared at the pictures she had framed. There were three on the left side and two on the right side. The first on the left was a picture that he assumed was her family. Her father and sister and Jude sitting in between them. The second one was of her and Jamie. And the third was of her and from what he knew was her backup band SME. Miles turned to the right and saw two pictures of her and Boybander. The first he recognized was from Jude's early career as a redhead. She was standing next to her then producer. For some reason, he couldn't bare to say the has-been's name. The second one was recent. A picture of her and boybander. The picture looked as if it had originated from a camera phone. Her arm was outstretched as she and him smiled happily into the lens. Miles turned away from the desk in disgust and walked out of the office.